Romantic relationships with the non-Orthodox

[authiodionitist]

Hi all

If you're in a relationship or are married to a non-Orthodox, PM me if you're willing to discuss!

Blessings!

[Macarius]

I'm married to an Orthodox woman, so I can't address this question specifically, but I would highly recommend dating within Orthodox circles for a couple of reasons:

1) unless you are dating casually (in which case neither of these points apply), you will face self-excommunication for marrying a non-Orthodox.

2) On a more personal level, you'll be wanting to (in part or, if marriage is in your future, in full) merge your life with this person. That is VERY hard to do if you don't have the same worldview. It is ESPECIALLY hard if you're raising children.

That said, dating casually (or semi-seriously) outside the Orthodox sphere doesn't seem bad, since you never know what God's plan might be for you.

Still, caution is due.

[NyssaTheHobbit]

You don't have to excommunicate yourself: Talk to your priest if you want to marry someone who is not Orthodox. Marriage to a Trinitarian Christian can potentially be allowed: http://www.oca.org/QAindex-sacramentmarriage.asp?SID=3 (The link is not working at the moment I'm typing this, but usually it works fine.)

I'm married to someone who is not interested in converting with me. Our son is baptized Lutheran, so he's going with his father, though he can always change his mind when it's time for confirmation classes. So far, it's working out just fine. We have similar views on many things, and different views on other things--just like anything else, such as music, politics and TV shows. Our views are similar where they count: We are both conservative Christians, concerned about orthodoxy in our traditions.

[NyssaTheHobbit]

Also: http://www.goarch.org/en/archdiocese/departments/marriage/

According to this, interfaith marriage in the Greek Orthodox Church is very common.

[rusmeister]

The Faith is the light by which we see the world, the basis of all of our beliefs and actions. If you don't have that common base, you're going to have tremendous problems on top of any others that you would have anyway.

"But it's OK! I'm in love!" is eventually replaced by the sad stories of marriages being pulled apart.

[OrthoCanuck]

I'm married (over 12 years now) to a non-Orthodox woman. I do love her and will stay married, but I do recommend that an Orthodox christian look for another Orthodox christian to date. It could avoid problems in the future (especially with children).

Also, if one wishes to date a non-Orthodox with the hopes that they will convert...don't hold your breath. Conversion is always a possibility, but so is non-conversion. You should not expect the person to convert and be prepared to spend your whole life with them even if they don't.


Peace.

[kamikat]

I think it's a completely different situation to convert to Orthodoxy without one's spouse and an Orthodox Christian marrying a non-Orthodox person. If someone is married, they should not allow Orthodoxy to cause strife in the marriage. On several occasions, my priest wanted to know if it was causing a problem and would slow the process down if it was. Being married to someone who does not share your faith is VERY difficult. There is a huge part of your life that your spouse does not understand. Your spouse should be your best friend. Can you be open and sharing with your best friend if the most important thing in life can't be shared with that person?

[ufonium2]

I dated a Presbyterian before I started dating my husband, and while he was fine with me being Orthodox, he said he would never convert. Our religion issues weren't really theological, so much as practical. For instance, he wanted to wait to have kids, for basically materialistic reasons. (There are valid reasons to postpone kids, but buying a ridiculously nice car is not one.) So that's not an issue where there can be compromise, because you can't get pregnant and simultaneously not get pregnant.

My point is that there are some things about which you can't just agree to disagree. So, what do you do?

That being said, I think getting married always affects your religious life, even if you are the same religion as your spouse.