Was I Selfish?

[akim3579]

I'm going through a rough spot in my life and made a decision to join a church (Baptist) that my father attends. The thing is my girlfriend of 3 years is Catholic. We have only attended church once together and that was at the same church i'm attending to bring in the new year in 2005. Our realtionship has taken a turn for the worse and don't know what to do. I hope to marry her aswell. Should i stop going to this church and join a non-denomination church that we both can attend? (She wont attend this church with me because i joined without informing her) It was due to the ongoing situation in my life and i was full of anxiety, regret, and guilt. Did I make a rash decision (She is aware of the circumstance in my life). I didnt know what to do or where to turn. I need some good christian advice please.

Thank You

[traderdave]

Have the two of you had in-depth discussions about your respective faiths, and where you each want to be with the Lord? Is your relationship suffering because of this one decision, or is there something else behind it? Why did you join the church that you did?

[andross77]

I'm going through a rough spot in my life and made a decision to join a church (Baptist) that my father attends. The thing is my girlfriend of 3 years is Catholic. We have only attended church once together and that was at the same church i'm attending to bring in the new year in 2005. Our realtionship has taken a turn for the worse and don't know what to do. I hope to marry her aswell. Should i stop going to this church and join a non-denomination church that we both can attend? (She wont attend this church with me because i joined without informing her) It was due to the ongoing situation in my life and i was full of anxiety, regret, and guilt. Did I make a rash decision (She is aware of the circumstance in my life). I didnt know what to do or where to turn. I need some good christian advice please.

Thank You

My first question is: If you are a Protestant, why are you considering marrying a Catholic?

Many Catholics are Christians but not all are. If you are both devout in your faiths, you are going to have trouble bringing up your kids. One of you will want to pray to Saints, attend Mass, Worship Mary, confess to a Priest, etc. The other will want to go to church, listen to a pastor, confess to God and the people you have wronged, not believe the Pope to be authoritative (i.e. on the same level as Scripture) when he makes pronouncements from the seat, etc.

Your kids will be confused and there will be a lot of arguing and stress and eventually you will either divorce or one of you will convert.

Obviously, the objection to my post will be either "I'm a Catholic and my wife is Protestant and we have lived together for 40 years" or "Catholics and Protestants believe in the same Jesus so it's fine". If you and your spouse are from different faiths (Catholic or Protestant) and have gotten along for many years, then one or both of you is not REALLY serious in your faith. If a Catholic REALLY read the official Vatican pronouncements they would know that Worship of Mary is encouraged, prayer for the dead to speed up their time in purgatory is encouraged and it is based on faith + works not faith alone. Catholics that do not believe these things, should not be calling themselves Catholics b/c they don't know the official positions of their Church or their Pope.

Very long-winded response but in summary, Don't marry a Catholic unless you plan to become Catholic or she plans to convert to Protestantism.

[Tildyd]

I need some good christian advice please.

Thank You

Yes you were selfish. But all you have to do, now you admit it, it so pray.
;)

[Artificial Intelligence]

Actually, does not sound like she is allowing you to be the spiritual leader of the family… if it ever got to that I mean. If you are not allowed to choose the church you feel led by the Lord to attend than it does not sound like she is good marrying material; she wants to be in charge and change you into what she thinks you should be or who she really wants.

But the bible instructs that the husband is to be the head of the family as Christ is the head of the Church. I would think that this is not the only conflict arising or which shall arise in the future, I know, I had a girlfriend like that some years ago, in the end she said that she wanted to be the leader. At first she was all submissive but her true self came out over time. That is a common problem with many relationships these days and a big reason for such a high divorce rate even among profession Christians. This is because the natural order is for the Husband to be the leader, and when that is taken away such a relationship breaks down in time.