[Open] Assimilation... (Created from Questions Thread) [Open]

[arizonasunset]

shalom everyone. i have a dilemma that i hope someone can help me out with. i found out, three years ago, that i am of Jewish ancestory. actually i discovered that on my mother's side i was only a third generation american. i was taught all these things growing up...like never do this and always do that...but i understood my grandmother's family to be Catholic...something in which i abhored (no offense to Catholics out there) my grandfather was a Seventh-Day-Adventist, and i found myself to allign with his traditions and beliefs much quicker than my grandmothers. i'm somewhat angry because all the gruff and huff of be proud of who you are...always stand up and don't ever back down because of who you are...we are tough...we are "special"...well it's thrown me for a loop. i don't understand how i could be taught this and discover that my family hid their Jewish heritage. i mean i understand the concept of immigrating to america and all...but now i'm like so lost! as i look back over my childhood and understand now certain things about my walk with the Lord, well yes this makes sense. i want to know my own heritage...will i even be accepted by others who are Jewish? l

[HadassahSukkot]

I created this thread from our questions section.

Perhaps others may assist you better here ArizonaSunset :)

[Tishri1]

that is exactly how I found out I was too.....I TOTALLY understand all those feelings:hug:

[ChavaK]

will i even be accepted by others who are Jewish? l


I can really only address the last question you raise.
If you are hachalachly Jewish- descended from an
unbroken maternal line- then Jews do accept you
as being a Jew. However, this does not necessarily
translate as being accepted in the community.
Many shuls and organizations now days require
evidence to back up the claim of being Jewish.
And shuls and other groups generally do not allow
people to become members if they hold beliefs
foreign to Judaism.
So I guess the answer to your question is "yes"
and "no", depending on the context...
:wave:
chava

[ChazakEmunah]

Funny, I found out a similar way too. Chava is right though. If you have an unbroken line of matrilineal descent, then you are Jewish. But for membership at a Beit Knesset, or to have your children recognized as Jewish, you need to have proof.

[Tishri1]

unless your Messianic then your grafted in by faith and no longer a stranger:clap::clap: or alien...It's more important that ABBA accepts you than man anyway....but I do understand those feelings, as do many in here.....Just remember who you are in Messiah counts the most ...a new creature bought with his life and born of ABBA's Spirit living inside you.....that is what matters the most:groupray:

[AbiYah]

I think assimilation is such a sore subject because of everything that happened; some people couldn't take the pressure and instead converted to stop being persecuted and ensure that their children would live good lives.

Some of us have difficulties with that even if it means we came into the world; because it means our families lived a lie rather than to tell the truth and stand up and be counted; or be like Esther and 'save the day'.

No advise sadly - this is something I face myself every day.

[jgonz]

My DH probably has Jewish blood in his family line also. Are you Hispanic? If so, check out Del Sanchez' books & info: http://www.4sephardim.com/sephardimhome.html and http://www.sephardimhope.org/default.asp
Very very interesting stuff! I have 2 of his books, and have heard him speak once. :)

[simchat_torah]

Or you can be cool like me and Talmidah and convert ;)

[ContraMundum]

Sounds like a common matter then!

Well, if I can chip in, I guess I should. My family (Mom's side) are Sephardim (Dad's Askenaz), and in the past until a couple of generations ago been told to hide their identity and practice their Judaism behind closed doors (and in the cellar). However, there have always been Jewish halacha, Jewish names, and Jewish idiosyncrisies evident throughout. If you need to trace your lineage, I guess you'd have to follow those breadcrumbs if they are around in your family history.

It seemed to have been common in Sephardic circles in Spain and Mexico to have a dual identity (hence, the Inquisition was "necessary"). I guess after a few generations and much assimilation it could frustrate a person who might still have a Jewish soul to try to uncover such a large hidden life in their ancestors.

Good luck arizonasunset.

[Tishri1]

I love that word Jewish Soul:)...that pretty much says it right there:thumbsup:

[HadassahSukkot]

Sounds like a common matter then!

... I guess after a few generations and much assimilation it could frustrate a person who might still have a Jewish soul to try to uncover such a large hidden life in their ancestors.

Yep, and exactly how I feel. Dad admitted this month that we are Jewish and had since before said "no", "no way", "wishful thinking" and "We've always been [insert whatever here]" along with "it's just a phase" ...

Apparently after the dots in geneology and too many questions plus his recent diagnosis with a genetic disease called Favism, he had to admit our DNA is if nothing else through it's quirks uncovering the hidden things of the past.

To say that it is both a let down and a relief is a bit of an understatement :sorry:

I've thought of doing DNA testing, but really what else would that do other than confirm what we already know, and without the on going traditions in each generation it would mean nothing halachicly speaking anyway.

I guess you could say I did trade in those rose colored glasses for a slight shade of jade a few years ago :P

I read the link JGonz provided and a lot of what was said is what I have experienced without going to Israel. I go places and see people and know instantly "my family", "my people", "Home" without ever having met people... or been there before.

From what I am beginning to understand is t hat the family may have converted under duress, and at some point the children just didn't know and did their own thing.

My dad told me just last week that his grandmother was a flapper - something I just cannot imagine and seems so foreign to the values we've all been raised with and where we've come from.. but I guess if you are removed from your roots and told "We're Americans now, we do American things, have American holidays and traditions, we are no more what we were" - you tend to just let go of everything. :sigh:

There is a bit of awe about the situation, but dissappointment, sadness and loss is about what I would say I have felt the most, because while everyone else had something to build on for tradition ("this is what we do") in the family and holidays and family ties, I had/have sand.

Where I have been told for the last 10 years I am going through a phase or just dreaming, it's wishful thinking, there's no way... instead of relief, I have to fight anger and resentment because it would have been just easier to say "it's possible, keep digging"..

Instead I have to look at my family and where we lived and what we did and say over and over "It doesn't add up any way you slice it"..

I've lived a 'gypsy' life, picking up traditions here and there that I gave up long ago because they were not mine and didn't fit with our beliefs and I was tired of a lie.


In a way I have to say I am glad I am moving away for a while, because at least it is a fresh start and I can just start over and try to pick up the pieces.

[ChazakEmunah]

Couple of things I wanted to add here;

1st: I wanted to comment on a statement made by Simchat Torah (love that moniker btw). Our Sages teach that one who chooses Judaism is as precious, if not more so, than one who was born a Jew.

2nd: After reading through this thread, I can feel the hurt that some have gone through. I know what that's like, as I was practically an adult (17yrs old) before I was told that I was Jewish.

This is the effect that assimilation has had on our people. What started (possibly) as good intent on the part of our ancestors has brought us hurt, suffering, and confusion when the truth is finally revealed. We have no traditions on which to build upon and are left to create our own. We are usually alienated from the community since most of our friends and relatives are not Jewish themselves. Hadassah, my heart goes out to you. I pray that you will find solace and peace in HaShem.

For those of you who are halachically Jewish (and even those who are not), there are some great resources out there that can help you in reconnecting with your people and heritage.


I wish you all a Good Shabbos,
Chazak Emunah

[ContentInHim]

Last night I met a mid-60-ish woman whose parents in the late 1930's would take her to Sunday School at an Episcopalian church in NYC because Brown Shirt youth were having rallies all over the city. :eek: Anyway, she found God and Messiah and didn't learn that she was Jewish (both Sephardic and Askenaz also, CM) until she was an adult. Sadly, both her parents died secular. :(

[simchat_torah]

1st: I wanted to comment on a statement made by Simchat Torah (love that moniker btw).
Thanks ;)
I've used it for years.

Our Sages teach that one who chooses Judaism is as precious, if not more so, than one who was born a Jew.

:)
My story can be found in a few places around here. In fact, once upon a time, I was a moderator (that's why you see almost 5,000 posts by my name, heh). Anywho... long story short:
*found out I had Jewish blood lineage
*wandered through "messianic" jewish pathways for a few years, searching the origins of the christian faith
*got fed up with what I found, but fell in love with Judaism
*converted

But, of course in my original comment, I was merely being facetious. ;)
Though I must say, I fully agree with what you've stated.

cheers,
Yafet

[Aviva]

I can relate to you, it was not hiddent that we were
jews but we were deprived of being raised jewish.
I am learning to fdeal with it and forgive parents
for this. My suggestion is study study study.