Advice :)

[Robskiwarrior]

Being that the closest thing to me on these forums is the Messianic way of thinking I would like some of your wise and insightful advice regaurding a few issues :D

Being brought up Anglican and working with and attending a few different denominations the standard church calendar has pretty much always been celebrated by myself, and my familly.

Now during the past year or so Yahuweh has guided me to find out that He would rather me do something else (celebrate His feasts) So thats cool, and we are starting to do that - Passover incoming! :D

ANYWAY my question is, how does one stop Celebrating Christmas / Easter. Is there anyone who has stopped or did stop when they became messianic? And if so how did you stop?

If it was just me and my wife it would be fine, but we have 2 kids, 3 and 5. Also our families are still up there with the whole church callendar thing.

Im just seeking pratical advice/experiance really from someone who has been there and done it - and tbh I think this is the only place I will find it on CF :D

Hope that made sense and peeps can help

Thanks :D

- Rob

[Wags]

Well your kids are young enough to go along with whatever mom and dad presents so that transition should go fairly smoothly. Of course grandparents that don't respect your beliefs can make it a little difficult.

Sometimes the simple response to relatives is the best - just saying "We no longer celebrate -------. " If they want more info you can certainly provide it.

[stone]

The 1st christmas i did away with all the outside house lights and ornaments and the big tree and also didn't put out any of the inside house ornaments, like the santa stuff and magic snowman stuff. I decided to do away with everything that represents magic.

My duaghter was 7 at the time, i think? :scratch: She had her own little Barbie tree about 3 ft. high. I let her keep hers that year. I figured it was better to slowly remove it, and then to replace it with chanukah.

This last christmas we did absolutely nothing for christmas and learned more about chanukah. My daughter now wants to learn and observe more of chanukah than christmas.

By the time Easter came around, that would be last years, well.... there were problems there that caught up with me from the way my relatives observed vs. what i now observe.

I said i didn't want my daughter to participate in anything that had to do with Easter, and that means an egg hunt especially. My niece ended up nearly crying because her favorite cousin\best friend wasn't going to go easter egg hunting with her.

Then my sister comes over with baskets for everybody! And Candy! :sick:

I like candy, but it bothers me to see it shapped into something that is suppose to be a magic bunny rabbit that lays eggs that children search for and then eat.

I didn't invite any of them over on Easter either. For some unkown reason to me, my brother, sister and my dad decided to plan a gathering over at my place and didn't let me know till that day! :sigh:


When i began to stop doing these things, i began to have many revelations from g-d as to why these things should not be done. The main reason as to why not would be because it takes the glory away from our father in heaven who makes all things and gives it to magic. Our g-d is a jealous g-d! :thumbsup:


if i could do any of it over again, i would have let my close relatives know before Easter came around what i do and do not approve of for my household.

babysteps! :wave:

[ContentInHim]

Bribes work! :D Tell the kids that they'll get 8 presents for Hanukkah! That's what my friend did!

I trashed my Christmas decorations a couple of years ago and told the brother and his family that I wouldn't be celebrating any more. They were concerned about their gifts. :( And they're Christians. My unsaved friends think I'm a hoot and tolerate me better than my saved Christian friends.

I'm excited for you. :wave:

[visionary]

I live in a house divided. My hubby is a big christmas fan, and I refuse to participate. I did the 8 days of Hannikah in stead and they liked the eight days of presents from me. So it kinda worked. We do not have any santa stuff, still trying to cure my hubby of the christams tree thing. Left him to decorate it. He conned the kids into doing that. I know that if he had to do that himself, it would not have happened. So we will see how this winter will do.

[Tishri1]

My kids were your kids ages and it was easier for them than for my much older 11 year old who was brought up with the old holidays....now those old ones are much like kawanza and St patricks day to them....just something the nation does for fun, but not what ABBA would have picked for a day to worship Him....He has His days all picked out and my kids appreciate it:thumbsup:

Dont get worried if you dont do it right...the minute that happens you can lose your Shalom and it can end up being just as frantic as Christmas and Easter, Dont let ABBA's festivals get stressful and man made( soo much to take away our rest and peace )instead let them be made for man (to bring us into peace and good will too ):thumbsup:

[Robskiwarrior]

Thanks so much guys, your advice and support is very welcome and thanks for your personal stories of how you have approched it :)

Because this has developed for us over the past year, we have only bridged the "we dont eat pork anymore" conversation, which I think shocked my parents. My wife's parents took it a little better. So we decided that one near heart attack was enough for them that time of the year :)

Baby steps do seem to be the key! :)

[HadassahSukkot]

To be honest, my parents decided to kick some of the habits of Easter and ALL of Halloween on the same year back in the early 90s.

I was in 3rd or 4th grade, and my brother was in 1st or 2nd, sister just getting ready for school or in K... I can't remember the exact year to be honest.

They sat us down and showed us the encyclopedias and research they did and the Scriptures they found, and we decided that we didn't want to do it anymore.

We were allowed to dress up in costume any other day of the year and beg for candy all we wanted except for Halloween and no saying "trick or treat".

Easter was a harder one to break. We stopped the eggs and bunnies and new clothes; but still did sunrise services and ham.

When I stopped, it was upon examining paganism and christianity side by side; and I made a command decision on my own and began systematically removing paganism from my life and I just stopped doing things altogether.

Since I still lived at home (do until June) I am 'obligated' to give gifts and "hang out" on Christmas... I wrap everything in Hanukkah gift paper; but I do not want Hanukkah to be a christmas replacement (which is what it is for many since the 1800s)...

When I move; I have made the statement I will do Birthdays and Anniversaries ONLY. They may receive cards from me on the Biblical Holy Days; but that I was not participating any further in anything else.

My grandparents do not really understand and several of my extended relatives think I'm either in a "phase" or something really weird has happened theologically with me - Whatever. However they have to deal with it is fine so long as they don't start up stuff again about me not being 'saved'/converting to Judaism.

The way I see it, I was lied to... in many ways, and I lost a lot of my heritage and a lot of my way due to those lies, and for me to take hold of Scripture is not me becoming "unsaved" or a "Judaizer" or a convert to anything.

It is me returning to the path of least resistance (spiritually speaking); unlike my family who thought that it was better to assimilate.

I'm tired of assimilation and I've more than told them that on many occasions. I'm tired of lies (being lied to) and I'm tired of lying to people - I will not stand up any longer for traditions that have no basis or foundation in Scripture.

For me, that was the easiest thing. Just to stand up and be counted.

Considering that when this started I was working with Pagans, it was a very easy transition to make. I didn't want to be a compromised individual when I witnessed to them; and in so doing, it brought me a lot closer to G-d than I had been ever before. Not long after, I began attending a Messianic Synagogue - something I had never done before, and have been quite blessed to do for about 5 years now.

[Robskiwarrior]

To be honest, my parents decided to kick some of the habits of Easter and ALL of Halloween on the same year back in the early 90s.

I was in 3rd or 4th grade, and my brother was in 1st or 2nd, sister just getting ready for school or in K... I can't remember the exact year to be honest.

They sat us down and showed us the encyclopedias and research they did and the Scriptures they found, and we decided that we didn't want to do it anymore.

We were allowed to dress up in costume any other day of the year and beg for candy all we wanted except for Halloween and no saying "trick or treat".

Easter was a harder one to break. We stopped the eggs and bunnies and new clothes; but still did sunrise services and ham.

When I stopped, it was upon examining paganism and christianity side by side; and I made a command decision on my own and began systematically removing paganism from my life and I just stopped doing things altogether.

Since I still lived at home (do until June) I am 'obligated' to give gifts and "hang out" on Christmas... I wrap everything in Hanukkah gift paper; but I do not want Hanukkah to be a christmas replacement (which is what it is for many since the 1800s)...

When I move; I have made the statement I will do Birthdays and Anniversaries ONLY. They may receive cards from me on the Biblical Holy Days; but that I was not participating any further in anything else.

My grandparents do not really understand and several of my extended relatives think I'm either in a "phase" or something really weird has happened theologically with me - Whatever. However they have to deal with it is fine so long as they don't start up stuff again about me not being 'saved'/converting to Judaism.

The way I see it, I was lied to... in many ways, and I lost a lot of my heritage and a lot of my way due to those lies, and for me to take hold of Scripture is not me becoming "unsaved" or a "Judaizer" or a convert to anything.

It is me returning to the path of least resistance (spiritually speaking); unlike my family who thought that it was better to assimilate.

I'm tired of assimilation and I've more than told them that on many occasions. I'm tired of lies (being lied to) and I'm tired of lying to people - I will not stand up any longer for traditions that have no basis or foundation in Scripture.

For me, that was the easiest thing. Just to stand up and be counted.

Considering that when this started I was working with Pagans, it was a very easy transition to make. I didn't want to be a compromised individual when I witnessed to them; and in so doing, it brought me a lot closer to G-d than I had been ever before. Not long after, I began attending a Messianic Synagogue - something I had never done before, and have been quite blessed to do for about 5 years now.


Thats really interesting thanks.

I have experianced the whole sideways looks and sighing and "oh dears" just from explaining our position to save them money on meats. Actually had a very good convosation with my mother about it though, she almost stopped eating unclean too! (dunno what happend after that...)

I suppose I should sit my eldest down and talk to her about it, she is 5 now and quite clever. If I start to tell her about it now then she would understand.

I think the main issue for us is US! The information and evidence I have had to prossess over the past year has completly destroyed who I was. It HAS made me into something new though - and I feel stronger because of it.

I think a big issue with Christmas especially is that it is such a familly time, and it was soo big in our familly. This year it did feel different, but it wasnt a horrible feeling - I dunno.

I know what I want to do about it, it just seems like its going to cut off my friends and relations which is something I dont want to do. Its hard enough bridging my beliefs with them now, as they just seem set on this is how it is and that is that, like nothing can change and we can never be wrong... But they all love God.

Urrrg lol

Thanks for all the personal stories guys - keep em coming if there are any left to come, its nice to see we are not alone in this.

[HadassahSukkot]

I know exactly what you mean.

I started examining wicca and neopaganism as well as druidism and that was what drove me to get rid of so many things as I examined how certain things became to be accepted within Christianity and I no longer felt comfortable with it.

I had a bit of a crisis there for a while, but things got better the deeper I got into the Word.

I was ill after some of this took place and had to take some time off from work as well as corporate worship with my parent's congregation; and that gave me some time for renewal - and allowed me to investigate and find my congregation.

For two years I did almost nothing but question and challenge constantly and beg for more material to read et cetera...

Sometimes I feel like the hunger never stops and sometimes I get filled quite full and to bursting with information and bible studies and discipleship.

Unfortunately I find that discipleship was a major peice missing in my life. I was rather left to my own devices after a certain age... and I think my questions bothered everyone so I quit asking after a while and just accepted because I was told to (not a great idea).

I'm not so sure if my in-laws understand why my fiance and I are doing these things other than it is our strong religious beliefs (they are not religious at all and were raised catholic though both are of Jewish heritage and assimilated into German culture themselves) - but they accept it to a point and let us alone about it.

My family doesn't understand and usually challenges everything which makes it hard for me since I am not as collected in person as I am in writing and I have a hard time formulating my thoughts since being so sick (and eating grains that apparently have sorely damaged my body all these years).

My extended family doesn't understand the issues I have with Coeliac Disease either, so.. I guess I take it all in stride as I can handle it.

Some days/months are harder than others...

I have to learn to be patient, especially since my in-laws will be the only family I have near me for a while and they don't understand any of this beyond the 'religious' factor of it.

They've seen the change in their son since he 'became religious' in 2000, and they've met me - and they know we're sincere, but I don't think they understand it's not some freak of nature or just "their way of doing things".

It's a little hard for me to grasp since I've always grown up in faith since a small child and I just don't get how you can go without G-d like that.. so it will be a learning experience for me too.

Recently I had my faith-boat rocked a bit, and I'm still trying to hang on and figure out where the next course to be laid is - and how to handle what happened; but I guess that's just how it is from time to time. ;)

What I do really appreciate about growing up is that my parents were honest with what they knew about the traditions (Next to nothing other than what they had been told) - and with what they knew about my dad's job situations and where we'd move etc.

They explained things in detail, and if it was above our heads we usually let them know in one or more ways, but we seemed to understand a lot more than they gave us credit for.

Thinking back to how we grew up, compared to how our first cousins grew up; I would rather have my parents explaining everything than having not been told and then not wanting to research it on my own when others challenge my faith.

I think it rocks a lot of people's confidence in their tradition and their Faith when someone doesn't know why they do things and then they examine and find that what they do doesn't align with Scripture... and no one told them.

I was in crisis there for a while and just didn't know what to do; but it kept me at the feet of our Savior a lot... and I began to feel a lot better once I felt Him leading me again rather than me doing what I want.

I found that one thing that always proceeds my error is when I am either prideful, or I do what is right in my own eyes.

How many times were my people faulted for those two things in Scripture and history? (almost too many to count)