Advice

[cassandra89]

I have posted my request for advice on other Christian NGs and not had any replies.
The subject matter is not pleasant and probably not for general reading, but I need some advice.
Al

[OldChurchGuy]

I have posted my request for advice on other Christian NGs and not had any replies.
The subject matter is not pleasant and probably not for general reading, but I need some advice.
Al

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the question?

OldChurchGuy

[cassandra89]

I am tired and 63 and i have dusted myself off and praised the Lord so many times.
My life has been, and the only thing that comes to mind is a Nightmare. I need some prayer for a break. Do you really want me to post my original thread that has been ignored by others? It's not pleasant.

[christianmomof3]

We can pray for you without reading about your sad experiences.
But if it helps you to share them, or you feel it is necessary, you may do so.
Many of us have been through hard times.
Some worse than others.
But, what is most important is Christ.
He is our peace, our hope, our faith and our love.
He wants to be all of those things to you as well.
I pray that you will enjoy Him as your life now and every day. :prayer: :hug:

[zerosaiyaman]

The fellowship of the family in Christ is here to bear through things with you (as it always should be for all its family members). Blessed are those who persevere through hardships it is said, for their reward is great. I'll pray for you.

[cassandra89]

My father, who is now dead, was what I suppose what you would
call a bad man. He was selfish cruel and enjoyed inflicting mental and
physical suffering on any one weaker than himself. He would utter
blasphemes that I had not heard before or since.
I recall as a teenager, my gran', - his mother - when she was near to
death, begging me , "Don't let that man near me". Later when my mother
was dying, I was told by my brother's wife that he had tormented my
mother on her death bead. This has had a lasting psychological effect
on my brother and after many years he still has problems coming to
terms with the memory. I had bad nightmares about this for years and have not been in contact with my mothers family in any meaningful way ever since. They did not believe it and blame my brother and myself for concocting a story that was not originally told by me.


Years past and I although I had all-but forgotten and forgiven until some weeks ago, in a telephone conversation with my brother, (who
claims to be an atheist) we were discussing how hard it had been for
both of us to earn the most meagre living. He said, "It's the curse of
xxx (our surname).

The story goes that when my father and mother first met (probably the
late thirties-early forties), my mother was a Sunday school teacher
and my father went to the church to collect her. He probably made a
fuss and blasphemed in the church to such an extent that the lady
pastor came to see what was wrong. He seems to have made such an
impression on the woman that she cursed him in some way. He used to
boast and laugh about this and my mother said it was true although she never
gave any details.

I gave this suggestion some thought and looking back it made a lot of
sense if true. Everything I have ever gained in life has disappeared
over the years and I find myself with nothing to show for a lifetime
of hard work and the same applies to my brother. Having been illegally
ejected from my last job two years ago and now reliant on state
benefits, I find that my small pension is about to end as the company
is winding up. Back to the usual nothing, as has happened on several
occasions in the past. I'm now sixty three an not likely to get
another job. Things are in fact much worse than this.
Can it be the "curse" or am I being silly?


Things have continued in a similar vein for years and a recent example – last year:
My daughter who was involved with a boyfriend who was unreliable became pregnant and my wife and myself took care of her for four or five years until she announced that she had a new boyfriend. From shortly before this she had become aggressive (totally out of character ) and started sending letters and Emails to everyone calling the bastards and worse. She and her boyfriend engaged in a campaign of character assassination against myself and my wife that is totally without foundation. Mud sticks and the remaining family are all of the opinion that we are and have been, bad parents. I agonised about this for several weeks, thinking “what have I done?” the resulting conclusion was that I had done nothing and that it was a total fabrication. This has caused my wife to suffer a nervous break-down.
They married just before Christmas and we were not invited. The child that she was expecting died at birth and she then decided to contact us again. My son in the mean time has changed his opinion of his parents and thinks that we “deserve all that we get “. We don't deserve any of this.

[zerosaiyaman]

Hm, your daughter's actions sound similar to my oldest younger brother who has thrown lies about and made it so my father is forced to live away from the rest of my family; and all this only after I (the oldest) leave the nest.

Well... curses are real afterall. It is done enough in the old testiment and we are warned not to curse but bless. Just throwing curses around willy nilly can be a dangerous thing, as blessings and curses do, most times it seems, have spritual impact.

However, it is also important to note that a single act of repentence can break any curse that God himself may give, as is again seen in the events with Ancient Isreal. If they but turn back to Him, it's stated He'll relent of His curses on them. But, we all know from history how that turned out till finally in modern days the curse finished its course.

So, that too is another thing; curses are time limited. Blessings are far more long spanning, and may indeed be eternal as they may add to eternal benefits. Needless to say, praying to the Lord to bless someone with eternal life by bringing them to Him is absolutely eternal! (and the greatest blessing you can give)

I know what it's like to stuggle off the meager. I wonder many times a month if I'll have enough money after bills to even buy food so I won't starve! But for me and you, God has obviously been faithful, for both of us have been blessed with food and shelter and conveniences of this age that are not necessities (you are typing on a computer afterall) (and I say all this after having my house broken into over christmas and much stolen, and having my windows shot by my neighbor's kids just recently when they were playing with a pellet gun. Yes, I live in a pseudoghetto in Kansas City, MO, so it isn't the nicest of places, and oh God has protected us well! And heck, it sure beats Bagdad!). So please, I earnestly implore you not to forget the fact that you are blessed many times over. Don't forget the blessings in your life, but give thanks for them and unequivically your life will get better; if not in circumstance, than in perception which is even more powerful. A man can own everything in the world, and yet be more miserable than the lowest begger if their perceptions are wrong (i.e. if they covet and thirst for more material wealth, they will be robbed of the ability to enjoy what they do have. Any who are ungrateful for what they are given will be robbed of the ability to enjoy it; that is a reality of life, both spiritual and simply psychological).

I will, of course, pray about your situations and for blessings. I don't believe you are cursed anymore than any of us are in this age, as your stuggles are not uncommon to mankind. You go through hard things.. but if you persevere and fortify your heart, greater than for I will be your reward.

I think, when we go through troubles, no matter how long, it's nice to read the book of Job and Ecclesiasties. To get our perceptions grounded again on eternity and not wrapped too tightly in this life. It's hard, things are painful and difficult at times; but that doesn't change the reality of our existance: that we are here but in passing, and our true home is yet to come. All the riches in the world mean nothing in the end, as contentment comes not from peace nor stuff; though peace can certainly help.

It may sound crazy to say, but I think you should try to ignore their taunts and persecutions, even if they are of your own blood, and live your life as rightly as you can before the eyes of God. God will deal with them; God will defend the innocent. You trying to do it yourself will only cause trouble for you. Definitely a break and some relaxation seems to be in order.

I pray for your blessing and ecouragment, that peace may ever be your faithful friend, and joy your companion, for you and your wife. May all things be left in the hands of God where they belong. All my best, and I hope these words helped in some way!

[Super Gnat]

*hugs* I don't have any advice, but I'll pray for you and your family.

ETA: One piece of advice: do you have a pastor or someone like that who you can talk with? Someone godly and trusted who knows a little more about you and the situation might be helpful.

[cassandra89]

Thank you and God bless you to:
Old Church Guy
Christianmomof3
Super Gnat
And a large thanks' to Zerosaiyaman


Yesterday was a bad day, but the sun is shining today. I got my wife to read your threads and they have cheered her up no end.


I first found the Lord at Hockley Pentecostal Church in Birmingham UK when I was young; my wife also. My attendance kind of tapered off and I was told by church elders that I would be or needed to be alone. I still don't know what that meant, but I've had little Christian company over the years.


At times of heavy trouble I have returned and been very welcome and also found strength, thanks to their help. We now live far away from the church in the country and there is no pastor or church locally.


I am normally strong and able to shrug off the “slings and arrows”, but when my wife started to buckle under the strain things became seriously difficult. The loss of our family and our home is very bad for a woman and especially at her time of life. Having always been able, in the past, to go out and solve the problems, I find, now that there seems to be a brick wall in every direction and I decided to “let go and let God”. Not easy.


We do, of course know about Job, and all I can say about that book with regard to my own life is “That I know that my saviour lives and that he will stand at the end of time”.


As for the accusations that we are or have been bad parents; I can stand before my maker who will agree that it's untrue.


Thanks again and God bless