Thoughts on leaving a church.

[Sojourner<><]

My wife an I have been attending a certain church for a couple years now. It's been at least 2 years and we still don't have any friends there. I really can't figure out why that is. May be we're just at that akward age... too old to fit in with the teenagers and still too young to have much in common yet with the older folks. Anyways, this church has been good to us and we don't have any major problems with it except for this. Would it be wrong for us to leave?

[Jessica Lauren]

I'd suggest taking a look around at some other churches before you make the decision. But if you're uncomfortable then it probably just isn't the church for you.

[FreetoSmile]

If you have genuinely tried to make friends and to "get into" the Church family but still aren't having any luck, I don't think it'd be wrong to leave.

I'd pray about it first, though.

[holderz]

My wife an I have been attending a certain church for a couple years now. It's been at least 2 years and we still don't have any friends there. I really can't figure out why that is. May be we're just at that akward age... too old to fit in with the teenagers and still too young to have much in common yet with the older folks. Anyways, this church has been good to us and we don't have any major problems with it except for this. Would it be wrong for us to leave?

the most important thing above whether you are making friends or not is
THE MESSAGE from the pupit.
If thats wrong and going against the truth then thats a good reason to leave.

But if your learning accurate doctrine there, why leave!
why put not making friends with people in the church over
the most important thing.
Learning the truth, the word of God!

God in his perfect timing will bless you with social prosperity.

Deu 32:4(a) "The Rock, his work is perfect,

Mat 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

In Christ

Holderz

[ozmum]

I would be inclined to agree with what the last post says but I would add to it that a church that hasn't got love in it is unlikely to have God's spirit too.
In which case I would pray about where does God want you .
Have you considered home churching ?
www.homechurchresources.com (http://www.homechurchresources.com)

[Sojourner<><]

I would be inclined to agree with what the last post says but I would add to it that a church that hasn't got love in it is unlikely to have God's spirit too.
In which case I would pray about where does God want you .
Have you considered home churching ?
www.homechurchresources.com (http://www.homechurchresources.com)

I never thought about a home church. I'll look into it. Thanks for the link :thumbsup:

[Svt4Him]

We are not bound to a church, we are bound to a community of believers. If you can't find that community where you're at, you have ever right to look elsewhere, unless God Himself told you to stay.

Preach the word, walk your convictions.

[whateveristrue]

My wife an I have been attending a certain church for a couple years now. It's been at least 2 years and we still don't have any friends there. I really can't figure out why that is. May be we're just at that akward age... too old to fit in with the teenagers and still too young to have much in common yet with the older folks. Anyways, this church has been good to us and we don't have any major problems with it except for this. Would it be wrong for us to leave?
Nope, it wouldn't be wrong at all. Why wouldn't you leave?

[MrsJoy]

not wrong at all.
one of the purposes of church is community.
it's not just about the message, although that is important too.
But, God meant for us to live in community, to bear one anothers burdens.
dh and i had a bit of a hard time finding a church when me moved out here, and we went for a while to a church that we thought we would like-but ended up leaving sad, b/c , while there actually were folks our age, they ignored us.
God instead sent us to a smaller congregation w/ less of "younger" population and found that community

[New_Wineskin]

My wife an I have been attending a certain church for a couple years now. It's been at least 2 years and we still don't have any friends there. I really can't figure out why that is. May be we're just at that akward age... too old to fit in with the teenagers and still too young to have much in common yet with the older folks. Anyways, this church has been good to us and we don't have any major problems with it except for this. Would it be wrong for us to leave?

Why would it be wrong ? We are free to fellowship with anyone in the Body . Who would tell you to forsake fellowshipping with any other believers and stick to only a handful ?

[holyrokker]

There are other factors as well. Have you been involved in ministry with this church? Do you attend an adult Sunday school or a mid-week Bible study? These are great ways to get to know others, to get encouraged and to encourage others.

[Nadiine]

There are other factors as well. Have you been involved in ministry with this church? Do you attend an adult Sunday school or a mid-week Bible study? These are great ways to get to know others, to get encouraged and to encourage others.
I agree. & I agree w/ another post that mentioned to go ahead & try another church or 2 before you formally 'leave" this one & feel the waters.

If you really need fellowship, then go into smaller groups like Holyrokker mentions & try things that way, or go ahead & see if another church doesn't suit you better. You can always come back to this one if the others aren't any better. :holy:

We don't have to stay at a church forever - even tho stability is always important & not leaving continually becuz a church isn't perfect or 'serving you hand & foot' as you demand.
We're to see how we can SERVE OTHERS, not focus on being served by everyone else.
:preach: Ask not what your church can do for you,
but what you can do for your church. lol ;)

[Sojourner<><]

Yes, actually I did serve there for a while. The church places alot of emphasis on their ministry program, which is quite impressive by the way. One of their requirements is that you start at the bottom with janitorial work or childrens ministries, which is totally understandable since I think it is Biblically accurate. However, even though I did meet a few people while serving, I didn't feel like I made any friends and I ended up feeling drained and used. This was especially difficult when some talented newcomers came into the church and were immediately placed in some of the higher level ministries. It's not that I really wanted to be promoted, I just wanted to be in a place where I could make friends.

[Nadiine]

Yes, actually I did serve there for a while. The church places alot of emphasis on their ministry program, which is quite impressive by the way. One of their requirements is that you start at the bottom with janitorial work or childrens ministries, which is totally understandable since I think it is Biblically accurate. However, even though I did meet a few people while serving, I didn't feel like I made any friends and I ended up feeling drained and used. This was especially difficult when some talented newcomers came into the church and were immediately placed in some of the higher level ministries. It's not that I really wanted to be promoted, I just wanted to be in a place where I could make friends.
I hope my 'rant' on serving didn't make you feel like I was accusing you of having that attitude!!
It was just a general statement becuz some Christians do take that attitude - & no church can please them ultimately.
:angel: ;)

[holyrokker]

Yes, actually I did serve there for a while. The church places alot of emphasis on their ministry program, which is quite impressive by the way. One of their requirements is that you start at the bottom with janitorial work or childrens ministries, which is totally understandable since I think it is Biblically accurate. However, even though I did meet a few people while serving, I didn't feel like I made any friends and I ended up feeling drained and used. This was especially difficult when some talented newcomers came into the church and were immediately placed in some of the higher level ministries. It's not that I really wanted to be promoted, I just wanted to be in a place where I could make friends.
Hmm...

While the idea of being a servant wherever is needed can sound noble, it isn't necessarily Biblical. Cleaning a bathroom shouldn't be beneath anyone's dignity, but God has given each of us gifts to be used in ministry. A good church will help you find your gifts and use them.

[Sojourner<><]

I hope my 'rant' on serving didn't make you feel like I was accusing you of having that attitude!!
It was just a general statement becuz some Christians do take that attitude - & no church can please them ultimately.
:angel: ;)

No worries. I understand what you were trying to say.

[talitha]

At the church my husband and I attended before the one where we attend now, we had a lot of trouble breaking in, and also we had some of the same experiences with other people breaking in just fine and being "promoted" without having to take the steps that we were diligently trying to take. After four years there, I really began to cry out to the Lord to be released from there, and it happened very quickly. I am glad I waited for the LORD to place me where He wanted me, because I cannot imagine a better, more fitting place for hubby and me to get the restoration, training, release, etc. that we really needed than the "family" we're in now.

blessings
tal

[Sojourner<><]

At the church my husband and I attended before the one where we attend now, we had a lot of trouble breaking in, and also we had some of the same experiences with other people breaking in just fine and being "promoted" without having to take the steps that we were diligently trying to take. After four years there, I really began to cry out to the Lord to be released from there, and it happened very quickly. I am glad I waited for the LORD to place me where He wanted me, because I cannot imagine a better, more fitting place for hubby and me to get the restoration, training, release, etc. that we really needed than the "family" we're in now.

blessings
tal

After you prayed about it, how did it come about?

[talitha]

Well, it's kind of a wild story. I prayed about it, and my husband and I sought out a place where we could go and worship in a more unfettered way (between Sundays). We discovered that the worship leader of a church about an hour's drive from us was having Friday night worship sessions at his music studio, and we started going to those. In the meantime, my husband had a painting that he wanted to send to a ministry in South Africa. An online friend said that if we could get the painting to Fort Worth, she could get it to South Africa with some missionaries who were going there. At the Friday night worship meeting (keep in mind we live in central Missouri) the worship leader's wife said that there were some prophets coming to hold a conference at a church that was about 30-40 minutes' drive from my home. Turns out that one of these prophets attended the same church in Fort Worth as my online friend. We went to the prophetic conference, gave the guy from Fort Worth the painting, and it turned out that this church we were visiting was where God was leading us! I had even had a dream in which I encountered the worship leader from this church (before we ever actually saw him!) (and the painting actually got delivered to South Africa!) It's a great story, huh?

blessings
tal

[Sojourner<><]

Well, it's kind of a wild story. I prayed about it, and my husband and I sought out a place where we could go and worship in a more unfettered way (between Sundays). We discovered that the worship leader of a church about an hour's drive from us was having Friday night worship sessions at his music studio, and we started going to those. In the meantime, my husband had a painting that he wanted to send to a ministry in South Africa. An online friend said that if we could get the painting to Fort Worth, she could get it to South Africa with some missionaries who were going there. At the Friday night worship meeting (keep in mind we live in central Missouri) the worship leader's wife said that there were some prophets coming to hold a conference at a church that was about 30-40 minutes' drive from my home. Turns out that one of these prophets attended the same church in Fort Worth as my online friend. We went to the prophetic conference, gave the guy from Fort Worth the painting, and it turned out that this church we were visiting was where God was leading us! I had even had a dream in which I encountered the worship leader from this church (before we ever actually saw him!) (and the painting actually got delivered to South Africa!) It's a great story, huh?

blessings
tal

Awesome story :thumbsup: I can really see how the Lord planted you where He wanted. I'll definately pray that He leads me to where He wants, unless He wants me to stay.

[whateveristrue]

Well, I personally believe there's not a single church out there that isn't messed up. That's because churches are made out of people and people are messed up... and sometimes we just have to deal with it. However, I think as long as the leadership has the right heart and vision... God will work in that church. We can't expect the congregation to be perfect.

[fifi]

My wife an I have been attending a certain church for a couple years now. It's been at least 2 years and we still don't have any friends there. I really can't figure out why that is. May be we're just at that akward age... too old to fit in with the teenagers and still too young to have much in common yet with the older folks. Anyways, this church has been good to us and we don't have any major problems with it except for this. Would it be wrong for us to leave?

First you hav eto ask yourself is the true word being preached their if so then you should stay. but if not then you should leave. are the people their nice to you do thay treat you like you are their family because in a chruch body full of the spirit of God should ba as as a family if not you have to ask yourself is God really in this place because its hard for me to see how God is their but know one takes time to get to know you thats not the love Of God.