One Last plea for help

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet

[JAS4Yeshua]

It sounds like you've been in the wrong place at the wrong time in many of those situations. :(

I understand what it feels like to feel rejected, like everyone thinks down on you. I've been there more times than I'd like to count. One thing I've learned, though, is generally people aren't looking down on you, they just aren't acknowledging you (not that it is any better).

God doesn't hate you either, that is just a perception you are getting, whether it is from the circumstances in life, or from what you believe the circumstances to mean. God doesn't have a capacity of hate. People, though, can be indifferent and they can be cruel. Once you take the time to get to know people, though, you can find things will change.

Instead of trying to tackle every area at once, which can be overwhelming and discouraging, try to take things one at a time. If you need a friend, I'd be happy to talk with you online, share thoughts, and hopefully help you and encourage you.

[OScoder]

Heck, that sounds bad. I think its terrible that christians should reject someone (and think it terrible also that I have rejected people in the past, btw). I'm not sure what I can say though really - I'll pray for you if that is alright. Btw, have you ever tried counselling?

[Smileyill]

Needingprayersdaily, what did you do last night?

I'm going home from schoo, I'll be back on in a few hours.

[New_Wineskin]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet

Sounds a lot like my life . I have dealt with it much longer than you and you certainly seem to have found more friends than I . Given that you mentioned only a few ( including being able to find someone willing to spend the rest of their life with you ) , you can get a good picture of how few I have had . :)

As far as christians being against you ... no surprises from me . Don't place your trust in any of them until they have earned it .

There are no easy answers . So , I won't give you any . I only wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through .

[mannequinsmile]

I usually am sympathetic to individuals who are troubled in regards to who God is, but to say that God hates you is simply and utterly foolish. So you have had some bad experiences with church…yeah…wow. Compare that to people I personally know who have been sexually abused, finically hoodwinked, and betrayed by church members, I’m sorry, but your rant sounds a little trivial.
It sucks that you aren’t a very socially adept person, but I many Christians aren’t (myself including), and yet they believe, understand, and respond to God’s love. Oftentimes, people in a similar state as yourself are all the more reliant on God’s love due to their continuous disappointments with other people. And make no mistake; people will always disappoint you. God does love you, with a love that you or I cannot fathom. To know him is joy. Cry out to him, that’s the only advice I can give you.

[salida]

Needingprayerdaily--

God DOESN'T hate you. He isn't capable of it - because He IS love itself.

It sounds like the people around you may not have the love of God in their hearts. Its called unconditional love in I Corinthians 13. Do any of these people at your church and/or your wife received the Holy Spirit when you first believed? Have you? The Holy Spirit gives us believers the ability to love people with the love of God and the power of God to live a christian life. Otherwise, a humans love is limited - this is why there are many divorces.

People are designed by God to contain the Holy Spirit and to worship God. If they don't have it, they will try to fill it with drugs, and booze, but will never be satisfied.

Plus, the world is getting darker and darker so the friendly type are disappearing more and more. There are churches that do have the love of God in them. I go to one - and we treat each other like family which we are. Its called your eternal family which is the Body of Christ.

Most people don't have the Holy Spirit in general like unbelievers and the "christian in name only" churches.

****You need a real bible believing church and does have the love of God in it - that practice what they preach. They do exist.

Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and be friendly to others without expecting anything back from them. Unconditional love doesn't expect anything back. Also, people will be disappointing you until you leave this earth. Only God literally will never disappoint you. The love you want which us unconditional and continuous is the love of God. A human can't do this without the Holy Spirit in their hearts. And even then - humans arn't perfect and will fail us from time to time which includes your spouse.

[Thomas74053]

God already loves you. You need to love yourself and accept yourself just the way you are, as God does.

If you keep expecting disappointment and rejection, you will keep getting it. Start seeing yourself as God see's you, worthy of the blood of his Son.

Faith isn't only like a mustard seed because it only takes a small amount. As a seed, it needs to be planted to grow. Get planted and grow roots in a church that shows the real love of the Lord. You and your kids will be thankful.

God Bless You

[TheCosmicGospel]

We have been told a lie brother. It is this. God loves you and you will always know it. If life was only that easy. It isn't.

Look at Jacob. I dearly love this man of God. He was given a promise to rule. Yet his whole life was sideways from the start. This has helped me. To look at him. He was cheated, swindled by his own family. His own father favored his brother.

So many people have given up on me. I always wanted friends and companions and someone to talk to. someone who would think of me. Someone who would give me some encouragement. It has to do in large in the state of mine i find myself in. I feel like giving up myself and hiding under a blanket.

Woe is me. But then I think of Jacob. He was deceived on his wedding night. Did he walk into that one? Then he worked another 7 years for the man that had deceived him. I would not have given him the time of day. Jacob was a much bigger man than I have ever been.

You hang on brother. And when you think you can't, do it for me. And when i think I can't hang on, I will remember you. I have a son in war right now. My daughter will be saying goodbye to her husband for 18 months soon. I want you to hang on for me so I can hang on for her. That is how it works.

One day I will meet you. I will say thank you for being my Jacob, for bearing trials and hanging on for me.

Cheers,
Cosmic

[LJSGM]

Sounds like depression to me. Go see a doctor, I did, and it got me through. Christians can get clinical depression.

No one can get you out of it for you, you have to pull yourself out with God's help, but you have to be willing to try.

You must realize that you are worth it all. If you recieved God's message of salvation, then obviously he thought you worthy enough to send it and to save you. What is the more loving then giving you life? There is your proof that God loves you. A father always loves his child, no matter what he does, but he doesn't always give him what he wants, but he always gives him what he needs.

In this world you will have trouble, but you must not focus on it. Let your focus be on Jesus, and take up your cross and follow him.

The bible says that we will be salted with fire. It's painful, but in the end it's makes you stronger, it gives you character, it makes you humble, ultimately, it's for good, but no discipline seems pleasent at the time. I can say that! I went through what seemed like hell on earth, the darkest period in my life, and I wasn't that bad off in any worldly way, but it did feel like everyone hated me and I felt TRAPPED, but I got help, and fought against it, and it changed me, and I feel like I have gained so much through it all that I don't regret God putting me through it in the end. Hang in there

-Love in Christ

[jsimms615]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet
It always amazes me when people have things go wrong in their life it always seems to be God's fault. But, when everything goes right then they did it.
There is other forces at work in life than just God. Have you thought about the fact that there is a devil and your negative attitude might be an issue also?

[flyingsum0]

If God hated any of us Man would we be in trouble. I dont buy it. He loves you bro but i think your problem is you...talk to a doc if you can. Once you learn to love yourself you'll realize how, much more God loves you.

God Bless you!

[LonelyTraveler]

It always amazes me when people have things go wrong in their life it always seems to be God's fault. But, when everything goes right then they did it.

As it also amazes me when people think that all good things come from God and that the wrongs in one's life are caused by sin. God works in more ways than humans can realize.

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

Well I appreciate the messages here. More than I have gotten in the past year in any one day...make that in the past year COMBINED
True some of you are good people I never doubted that

Let me clarify a few things. I am involved in counseling of sorts. I mentioned that I have a "high needs" child. He is high functioning autistic and BiPolar. So weekly we are at doctors not just for him but for me and for us together. So yes that is in the works.
His mom is more or less out of the picture. She works all the time, we rarely see her, we would never use the D word because we want to stay together for his sake, but as for having a marriage , I don't.
I have one ofther child who is more or less normal....

I have a great challenge with him, one that most people may not be able to comprehend without living it.
BUT This memory comes to mind.
When I was growing up, I was a difficult kid, or my mother was mentally ill, or bsome of both. I remember her getting into one of her "rages" and going off on a tirade like show often did, and she was screaming at me that I was such a bad kid and made her so miserable and she hoped, and these were her exact words "I hope when you are grown God gives you a son that makes your life totally miserable !"
Well , ok, she got her wish, He did; I love my son; Life sucks and God does nothing to help us out it seems.

Amd that is not all of it either.........

But you get the idea ?

I am fascinated with people who talk about all the good things in their lives that God has blessed them with. Fascinated, maybe a little jealous, maybe a lot sad because I am not included
I also find it interesting that people talk about the community they have at their church, their church family and friends; I have none of that. OH, I get the guilt that goes with it, the whole "Well maybe YOU aren't friendly" or "Maybe YOU are too judgemental"
Believe me I have heard that before

IF I walk into a church, and no one speaks to me, well no big deal. I am used to that. I have learned not to go seeking acknowledgment from people anymore . But I still wish on some degree I could share a part of what others appear to have.
Which goes back to me thinking that maybe God does not want me in that circle.......
IF on the other hand I go into a church and people do talk to me, it does not seem to last.....maybe they will say hi once and maybe welcome.....Maybe once

Believe me, I have tried over and over and over again to "fit in" with the community of follwers and it just does nto work for me. And the only common denominator is ME.
Great for my self esteem.

SO I look not to blame God but to wonder WHy would God hate me, and when I hear people saying "God doesn't hate you" Well all I can say is come spend a day with me and see for yourself.
You'll probably agree then

[spiritwarrior37]

I have blamed God for many things that went wrong in my life just as you are. It seemed as though God never gave me the answers to my questions or answered my prayers. Then He gave me a great understanding. If I was not getting what i was asking God for, maybe He was getting what He was asking me for. I don't mean to sound heartless or non-caring, but you have to stop worrying about what others think and let God have total control over your life. You have a special needs child. Maybe that is one of God's trials for you. My dad has been mine. He has been disabled since I was 9. After he had another stroke 4 years ago I had to move back in to help mom take care of him. He continued to get worse and is not totally blind. My mom went on to be with the Lord and I am the only one who was willing to take care of him. I lost my job because of this. All my bills are behind and the phone rings all day long with calls from collectors. But you know what? It has made me a steonger person and a better christian. As they say, I have been to the top of the mountain and things were great. Now I am back in the valley and things are still great, because God is in both places. Just keep God in all you do and I will pray for you that God will make a way for you. God loves you. Just think of John 3:16 and see the love He has for you. God bless you in everything you do.

[Nadiine]

Sounds a lot like my life . I have dealt with it much longer than you and you certainly seem to have found more friends than I . Given that you mentioned only a few ( including being able to find someone willing to spend the rest of their life with you ) , you can get a good picture of how few I have had . :)

As far as christians being against you ... no surprises from me . Don't place your trust in any of them until they have earned it .

There are no easy answers . So , I won't give you any . I only wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through .
I've read many of the posts from you New, and a great number of them are very negative comments against Christians in general; I've commented on many of them.

The following is not to NewWine directly -- but I do offer this advice, you don't win friends with negative, down, depressing, sad, gloomy personalities.

To get friends, you need to try to be attractive to others in the personality dept. & unfortunately, it's a nasty cycle, the more you seek friends / to be loved, the more you can't becuz you get more gloomy & desperate. It becomes a complex you acquire & people see it & feel it.

If you're walking around depressed & gloomy, people are generally averted to that & don't want to hang out w/ it for long. They do whole PR classes on our body language & attitudes.

I also know a man at a former church that my family knew, everyone FLED from this guy; he was always bragging on himself, a control freak & "knew everything" about everything! Always correcting people, making fun of their mistakes, etc. His personality was obnoxious & he had very few friends; people avoid him to this day.

I knew another man who just continued rattling on & on about thee most borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring subjects & they just couldn't get away from this guy.
He just continued on & on & on.... eventually, people TRIED to avoid him. It's not lack of love, it's just no one you care to be around.
There can be reasons for this kinda stuff happening & it's not always God or Satan.

I'm not saying you're any of these things becuz I have no idea who you are & can't possibly know. But I do know this stuff happens & oftentimes it can just be some simple stuff that can be dealt with.
Maybe have a real heart to heart talk w/ your wife & ask her point blank if there's something that is noticably 'not so attractive' about your personality or something.
Ask for a fair but kind critique.

If it's in every area of your life, and it's becoming this damaging to you, you should seek the truth from others - I can guarantee it wouldn't be fun or pleasant & quite painful to know (if there's anything at all there)... it mite not be you at all.
I can't know.

that's just an aspect I can offer from personal experience. But I'd look into some PR type classes or self esteem classes - or motivational speech... or better yet, know who you are in Christ & build yourself up in the word of God. :angel: :hug:

God bless you!! :groupray: :holy:

PS. there's also an element of spiritual truth where, what you speak, comes to pass. If you continue speaking curses & negatives over your life, IT WILL END UP BEING TRUE. We're called to speak LIFE to things - if you keep ranting about livng under a black cloud, the cloud will continue to get darker & you won't break out of it.
I had one myself, and it's gone now.
SPEAK LIFE, SPEAK LOVE over yourself & your family.

[HumbleUnderdog]

1) Read the Book of Job
2) You might be lacking social skills, possibly because of a negative attitude, which shows up in your facial expressions and turns ppl off. Or you simply might not talk about anything exciting enough for them, which is more their problem then yours.
3) It appears that you're trying to fit in with the world more than fitting in with God. Even though you're trying to fit in with a group of believers, this group may not be mature in their faith and still have too much of a wordly attitude.
4) Been there done that. I was severly depressed for a few years because of rejection, from both society, school, work and parents. Then I turned to God have all these social skills and counselling skills now. The only thing is, I still don't hang out with ppl that much and don't really have too many friends. I'm too busy taking care of my brothers, who all have mental disorders, and my mom who is enymic (sp?).
But since God has givin me this insane ability to cope with such a tough situation, I haven't lost the even balance of my mind yet, nor have I complained about anything, except a few small things. But this is only because I looked to God for appreciation and not the world, not even my parents or the church, unless their appreciation was in the Spirit of God.

Why blame God because other ppl don't like you? I think this situation calls you to actually trust in God to pull you through this time of troubles, He does that. He allows ppl to go through difficult times so that we learn to trust Him, and when we start to trust them, then all of a sudden things go smooth. I find the more I trust Him, the smoother things get.

[Smileyill]

Well I appreciate the messages here. More than I have gotten in the past year in any one day...make that in the past year COMBINED
True some of you are good people I never doubted that

Let me clarify a few things. I am involved in counseling of sorts. I mentioned that I have a "high needs" child. He is high functioning autistic and BiPolar. So weekly we are at doctors not just for him but for me and for us together. So yes that is in the works.
His mom is more or less out of the picture. She works all the time, we rarely see her, we would never use the D word because we want to stay together for his sake, but as for having a marriage , I don't.
I have one ofther child who is more or less normal....

I have a great challenge with him, one that most people may not be able to comprehend without living it.
BUT This memory comes to mind.
When I was growing up, I was a difficult kid, or my mother was mentally ill, or bsome of both. I remember her getting into one of her "rages" and going off on a tirade like show often did, and she was screaming at me that I was such a bad kid and made her so miserable and she hoped, and these were her exact words "I hope when you are grown God gives you a son that makes your life totally miserable !"
Well , ok, she got her wish, He did; I love my son; Life sucks and God does nothing to help us out it seems.

Amd that is not all of it either.........

But you get the idea ?

I am fascinated with people who talk about all the good things in their lives that God has blessed them with. Fascinated, maybe a little jealous, maybe a lot sad because I am not included
I also find it interesting that people talk about the community they have at their church, their church family and friends; I have none of that. OH, I get the guilt that goes with it, the whole "Well maybe YOU aren't friendly" or "Maybe YOU are too judgemental"
Believe me I have heard that before

IF I walk into a church, and no one speaks to me, well no big deal. I am used to that. I have learned not to go seeking acknowledgment from people anymore . But I still wish on some degree I could share a part of what others appear to have.
Which goes back to me thinking that maybe God does not want me in that circle.......
IF on the other hand I go into a church and people do talk to me, it does not seem to last.....maybe they will say hi once and maybe welcome.....Maybe once

Believe me, I have tried over and over and over again to "fit in" with the community of follwers and it just does nto work for me. And the only common denominator is ME.
Great for my self esteem.

SO I look not to blame God but to wonder WHy would God hate me, and when I hear people saying "God doesn't hate you" Well all I can say is come spend a day with me and see for yourself.
You'll probably agree then

I have a friend, a very good one at that, who has a child with autism. Her husband died 4 years ago. She spends the majority of her time with him and the rest educating people on autism. Except for that which she spends attending law school. It seems she takes him to the doctor or a therapist 3-4/week. She constantly has to drop everything and head to his school to deal with one issue or another. However, she has very supportive parents which makes it easier. Still, Idon't know how she makes it happen.

People, who deal with this daily, impress me to no end. It appears it has affected your marriage, yet you put your children first! I volunteered in a domestic violence court, and let me tell you, you are a rare bird indeed. Further, you don't drink or use drugs, you deal with life like a man.

It seems God gave you the tools you need. He gave you a son who needs you and whom you love. I don't know what God has in store for you, but he does bless those whom he loves. If not here, then in the hereafter. We don't seem clearly, but neither do those with autism. Let your son teach you, he has a unique perspective.

So what did you do last night? (friends like to know these things).

[LJSGM]

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

"But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

33They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, "What were you arguing about on the road?" 34But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
35Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

[jsimms615]

I have felt like God didn't like me like you seem to feel. It kinda sounds to me like your mom might have been bi-polar too. You didn't say if she is still alive or not or was ever diagnosed?
I had a roommate who was bi-polar. It is very difficult to live with. I'm sure that is exhausting for you and then not having the support from your spouse that you need.
When I went to counseling about my own anger, my counselor suggested I get away for a little while and write out a letter to God expressing how I feel. I thought for sure that letter would send me straight to hell after I wrote it. It was full of anger,but it felt good to let it out. I also found out that God wasn't surprised by my anger and that he is big enough to take it. Part of having an authentic relationship with God is being honest with Him about how you feel. For me, expressing those feelings helped me take my relationship with God to a new level. I let the counselor read the letter too and talking about some of what came out of it really helped to.
Sometimes we also have to preach to ourselves a little also and check our emotions and thoughts with what God's Word says. It sounds like you got a unhealthy dose of emotional abuse growing up and that has led to some unhealthy ways of thinking about yourself. It takes real effort to replace those negative thoughts of self that we listened to growing up with more positive and biblical ones. I have to do the same thing myself since I tend to be negative and hard on myself. I also got a lot of emotional and verbal abuse as a kid from peers around me. For me, I experienced that everyday for about 12 years.
What I would suggest is reading the Bible and looking specifically for what God says about how he feels about you. Look for the answer. What does this letter or book tell me about how God feels about me? Meditate on what Jesus did and that he was actually doing all that for you.
I'm sorry about your son. I truly am. My son has some special needs with Type I diabetes himself. He also sometimes has issues with aggression. It is hard when it is your child.

[tapero]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet

Hi brother,

My ex husband is sort of a depressve type personality and had been since he was very young. He struggles with many of the same issues you have described.

I don't know nor does he what caused him to be depressed as a young child, but God still loves you and he very much.

People say they'll call and don't. Avoid him, etc. All because he feels so badly about himself. He thinks he deserves what happens and he doesn't.

God gave us each unique personalities and there are more of us than not, that have quiet ones or introverted ones.

The only true joy that he's expereinced was when he came to Christ at age 34. It lasted a year. He still loves God, but just that one year break from the depression. (He won't go for help.)

Friend, I think if you can have better boundaries in your mind; such as telling yourself things like, consider the source, that's his loss if he wants to pretend to talk on the cell, etc. Then the negative reactions won't get into your heart as much.

The responses you descirbed by people are very hurtful and yet you sound so loving and I really think you can get through this.

You have a disconnected marriage which is hard and are carrying a lot of weight for it.

One poster I think wrote we need be more attractive to others, which is not true. The church is a hospital and we are there to help each other through another day. We are a mangled mess and need love and care from others. God wants us to be real, to be ourselves, and that's what you sound like you are.

You really need a good friend you can fellowhship with, and you can meet them at bible studies. However, your time is limited due to your care of the children.

Somehow God is using the awful treatment you are recieving and will strenthen you by it. God is not sending you awful treatment.

I'm a nobody too, so I know in part what you mean, though I do have two friends long distance.

Not that you're a nobody but in the worlds eyes and in the eyes of those parishioners that reject you.

Truly, God does not hate you.

He loves you very much. We live in a fallen world and by His grace we can get through things.

Don't give up, but friend, even if you did, God would never leave you nor forsake you. He will never let you go.

When your mom said this:

I hope when you are grown God gives you a son that makes your life totally miserable

she was not accurate in any way. You love your child very much and though there are many hardships with an ill child or person in a family, don't let those words she uttered even cross your mind.

My mom called us all types of names and such, and it took time to know they weren't true. No good, rotten filthy kids, gonna send you to a pysch ward stuff. She was ill but we of course didn't know cause we were kids.

Consider that you have a personality type that is awesome, whether or not the world see's it that way. God created you, and your enviornment determined some factors. He loves us and knows our struggles and is there for us, though unless we're in his word many times we forget and get rusty at scripture thereby forgetting the power of the words that help us make it through the day.

Remember that it is the other person's problem and not yours when they treat you poorly and consider the source, yet try to have love for them, Corinthians love in your heart so you will be protected for what could creep in.

I've encouraged my ex so much through our marriage but he just never could break out of his depression and he is also a pessimist. Nothing wrong with that, God, gave us all different personalities and we again have suffered environmentally experiences which have made things harder.

Be who you are. Know that God doesn't hate you, never could, and that you are well loved.

One last think, is the book of Proverbs starting at chapter 10 thru to the end teaches us how to better get along with people. When I worked, I wouldn't go to work without reading a chapter a day. It's very helpful with people skills and how to handle things, think about things, others, often is mentioned fools in proverbs showing us what fools are. So it really feeds you in how to deal with others.

Thank you for sharing with us all here too.

In Christ's love,
Tapero

[Nadiine]

When your mom said this:

I hope when you are grown God gives you a son that makes your life totally miserable

she was not accurate in any way. You love your child very much and though there are many hardships with an ill child or person in a family, don't let those words she uttered even cross your mind.

My mom called us all types of names and such, and it took time to know they weren't true. No good, rotten filthy kids, gonna send you to a pysch ward stuff. She was ill but we of course didn't know cause we were kids.

Consider that you have a personality type that is awesome, whether or not the world see's it that way. God created you, and your enviornment determined some factors. He loves us and knows our struggles and is there for us, though unless we're in his word many times we forget and get rusty at scripture thereby forgetting the power of the words that help us make it through the day.

I missed that statement from the mom... here's what I have to say about stuff like that - you can speak blessings or curses over your kids!!!
After seeing that, I'd immediately get busy breaking any curses that someone put over me like that!
We can speak life and death to people; our words can carry spiritual impact & action.

I don't doubt you need some demonic oppression deliverance to undo some things - I personally think that's where alot of a Christian's depression comes from (if it's not medically diagnosed... men have homormonal imbalances too (most simply don't want to admit to it or find out as if it's only a female thing)... you may want to get some bloodwork to see if that isn't a source).

I had severe oppression/depression for a year & mine was spiritual oppression. I was delivered from it & have been free of it for 10 yrs now. PRAISE GOD!:clap: :bow:

Anyways, seek the sources; some are medical, but many are spiritual... learning spiritual warfare & doorways of demonic affliction have changed my entire life. We MUST know our Bible - the information it contains is all we need to have VICTORY in this life... we need to OBEY IT and USE IT wisely. :preach: :amen:

Hosea 4:6
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

[mysterychristian]

Well I appreciate the messages here. More than I have gotten in the past year in any one day...make that in the past year COMBINED
True some of you are good people I never doubted that

Let me clarify a few things. I am involved in counseling of sorts. I mentioned that I have a "high needs" child. He is high functioning autistic and BiPolar. So weekly we are at doctors not just for him but for me and for us together. So yes that is in the works.
His mom is more or less out of the picture. She works all the time, we rarely see her, we would never use the D word because we want to stay together for his sake, but as for having a marriage , I don't.
I have one ofther child who is more or less normal....

I have a great challenge with him, one that most people may not be able to comprehend without living it.
BUT This memory comes to mind.
When I was growing up, I was a difficult kid, or my mother was mentally ill, or bsome of both. I remember her getting into one of her "rages" and going off on a tirade like show often did, and she was screaming at me that I was such a bad kid and made her so miserable and she hoped, and these were her exact words "I hope when you are grown God gives you a son that makes your life totally miserable !"
Well , ok, she got her wish, He did; I love my son; Life sucks and God does nothing to help us out it seems.

Amd that is not all of it either.........

But you get the idea ?

I am fascinated with people who talk about all the good things in their lives that God has blessed them with. Fascinated, maybe a little jealous, maybe a lot sad because I am not included
I also find it interesting that people talk about the community they have at their church, their church family and friends; I have none of that. OH, I get the guilt that goes with it, the whole "Well maybe YOU aren't friendly" or "Maybe YOU are too judgemental"
Believe me I have heard that before

IF I walk into a church, and no one speaks to me, well no big deal. I am used to that. I have learned not to go seeking acknowledgment from people anymore . But I still wish on some degree I could share a part of what others appear to have.
Which goes back to me thinking that maybe God does not want me in that circle.......
IF on the other hand I go into a church and people do talk to me, it does not seem to last.....maybe they will say hi once and maybe welcome.....Maybe once

Believe me, I have tried over and over and over again to "fit in" with the community of follwers and it just does nto work for me. And the only common denominator is ME.
Great for my self esteem.

SO I look not to blame God but to wonder WHy would God hate me, and when I hear people saying "God doesn't hate you" Well all I can say is come spend a day with me and see for yourself.
You'll probably agree then
Hello, and God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ.

This is a teaching that may answer some questions.


God Rescued Us

Colossians 1:13
Who [God] hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of [by] his dear son:


The word delivered means rescued. We have already been rescued. It is in the past tense. It is a present tense reality. We have deliverance NOW. I want to look at what God rescued us from and why we needed to be rescued.
This verse says we were rescued "from the power of darkness." The Greek word translated "from" in this phrase is the word "ek." Ek is a mathematical term that can be understood as a line drawn from the center of a circle to a point outside the circle. It means "out from the center of" or "out of."

The Greek word for "power" in this verse is the word "exousia." Exousia means "authority" or power as it is exercised. Our English word "exercise" comes from the Greek word "exousia."


We live in a world in which the authority or exercised power is the power or darkness. But God's Word declares that we have (past tense) already been rescued out of the center of this exercised power. We live in the world but we have been rescued by God out of the exercised power of darkness that rules in the world.

Colossians 1:13 goes on to say that we have been "translated into the kingdom of his dear son." The word "translated" means "transported." It is to be taken from one place and put in another. We have been rescued out of the exercised power of darkness and we have been transported to a place where God rules. In the Sanskrit the word "translated" is the word "citizenship." We have been rescued out of the exercised power of darkness and we have been made citizens in God's kingdom. We were under the authority of darkness but now we are under the exercised authority of God. We are citizens of His kingdom.

How did God accomplish this rescue? Colossians 1:13 explains that we have this citizenship in God's kingdom which is "of his dear son." The word "of" is the genitive of origin and can be understood as meaning "by" or "by the work of." We have been made citizens in God's kingdom by the work of His son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ made citizenship in the kingdom of God available to us. That is why it is "of [by] his dear son."

So how did we get put in the center of the exercised power of darkness where we needed rescuing, and what exactly is the power of darkness?
Acts 26:18
To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power [exousia] of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me [Jesus Christ].


The power of darkness is the authority or exercised power of Satan.
Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers [exousia], against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.


The power of darkness that exercises authority in this world is a wicked spiritual power. It is spiritual wickedness NOT flesh and blood.
Luke 4:5-6
And the devil, taking him [Jesus] up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.
And the devil said unto him, All this power [exousia] will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it.


The devil has all of the authority and exercised power over the kingdoms of this world. He has it because it was "delivered to him." When we are born in this world we are under this authority of the devil's exercised power of darkness.

In Genesis, Adam had dominion, authority and power over all the earth. But when he chose to listen to the devil rather than the commandment of God, he delivered his authority over the earth to the devil. Since that day Satan has exercised power in the world. Jesus Christ obeyed God, even unto death, and made it available for us to be rescued from this exercised power of darkness (Romans 10:9-10). We have been transported into and made citizens of a kingdom where God rules. We have been rescued.

There were many examples of God's great ability and willingness to rescue His people from the exercised power of darkness throughout the Old Testament. Following are a just a couple:

Moses believed God who rescued Israel from Pharaoh and brought them out of Egypt with many mighty signs and wonders.
Exodus 18:8
And Moses told his father in law all that the Lord had done unto Pharaoh and to the Egyptians for Israel's sake, and all the travail that had come upon them by the way, and how the Lord delivered [rescued] them.


Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego believed God who rescued them from Nebuchandnezzar and the burning fiery furnace.
Daniel 3:17
If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver [rescue] us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver [rescue] us out of thy hand, O king.


These are mighty, but temporary, rescues from the power exercised in the world. God's rescue of us far exceeds the rescue of these examples. By the work of Jesus Christ, we have been rescued out of the exercised power of darkness and we have been transported into and have been made citizens of a kingdom in which God rules.
Galatians 1:4
[Jesus Christ] Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver [rescue] us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father:

Our rescue was complete and our rescue was permanent. If we allow ourselves to be ruled by the exercised power of darkness in the world today we are not acting according to the will of God our Father. Jesus Christ gave himself for us that we might be rescued from this present evil world. We just have to believe that we are rescued and act like citizens of God's kingdom. We are ambassadors of the kingdom of God. We have "diplomatic immunity" from this evil world in which we live for we are citizens of God's kingdom. We have most definitely been rescued!

[mysterychristian]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet
Are You Limiting God?



Romans 10:9-10
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

The holy spirit from God is born within us the moment we confess the Lord Jesus and believe that God raised him from the dead. This spiritual miracle is so great that many have difficulty accepting that God could be so good or that His grace could be so great. We have absolutely nothing to do with this new birth other than to accept it and let it happen. The simplicity of the Word of God is too much for many to handle. Men and women always think that they have to do something. They will tell you: "Yes, salvation is by grace, but you still have to do a little work."


Romans 11:6
And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work.

We limit God when we change His Word. Grace is grace and works is works. Salvation cannot be by grace and "a little work." Salvation is a gift of God's grace. God is the one who creates holy spirit in us and God is the one who makes us His children. From the moment the gift is given we are sons and daughters of God and joint heirs with Christ.


As God's children we have rights. Satan no longer has legal rights over us unless we allow him to interfere with our God given standing. A child must learn about his father and family standing in order to claim his rights as a son. We limit God when we do not know or exercise our rights as children of God. For example, a child of the President of the United States has a right to see, talk to, and ask things of his father. I would have much trouble even getting in to see the President. In Christ we have access to God! We have a legal right to approach Him with boldness as a son or daughter to ask for anything that we might need.

Ephesians 3:11-12
According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord:
In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him.


Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

The grace of God given us at the time of the new birth is so big that it will take eternity for us to fully realize it. We are children of God! We have been given direct access to God by the believing action of the Lord Jesus Christ. We did not have anything to do with gaining access. But we have it! Christ has brought us in to God's presence as sons. Now we must claim our legal rights and use that access with boldness and confidence. God's grace does not end with salvation. God wants to continually show us His grace and mercy. He is always there for us to provide help in time of need; not because we deserve it but because God is a God of mercy and grace and we ARE His children. God gives us help freely, without even a second thought. He is our Father and He just loves to give to His children. We limit God when we let the Devil talk us out of our legal access to the throne of grace.

Colossians 2:10
And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power;


In the text the word "complete" is a unique fourth degree construction. In English you could say "completely, completely, completely, complete." Jesus Christ was our complete substitute for sin and the consequences of sin. NOT ONE THING was left undone. There is NOTHING left for us to do to stand righteous before God. If we are ever going to live the abundant lives that God wants us to live we must begin to realize the finished work of Christ. When we begin to see and act according to the greatness of what we are in Christ, we will manifest holy spirit and walk in a power that has not been seen since the first century.

When we renew our minds according to God's Word and transform our thinking up to the level of "sons of God" we no longer limit God. We need not talk of worry, doubt, and fear. We need not talk of lack or need. We need not talk of anxiety or sickness. We forget the negatives of this world and live abundantly because we are what God says we are; we have what God says we have; and we can do what God says we can do.


2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:

Have we been limiting God? We must be if we do not have all sufficiency in all things. God has provided all sufficiency for His children. We must allow God to fulfill His Word in our lives. God is able and He will make all grace abound toward you so that you have every thing you need to live an abundant life and abound to every good work. We limit God when we try to do His work relying on our own ability. It is God's ability and grace that is needed for us to have all sufficiency. It is time for us to realize that God is our sufficiency and strength.


We frequently limit God by accepting what the world offers our senses. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, the spiritual is higher than the physical world. In the spiritual realm God's Word, and not human reason, is most important. As children of God we live and experience both the physical and the spiritual. But the truths of the spiritual are not subject to human reason. Rather, the spiritual supersedes the natural.

1 Corinthians 2:14
But the natural man receiveth not the things of the spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.


When we were born again with holy spirit in us, we became spiritual men and women with the ability to look beyond the senses world. We have dwelling within us the spiritual ability to understand and live by the spiritual rather than being limited by the natural.

Ephesians 3:20
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us,


God's ability in our lives is exceeding abundantly above all that the senses reason can ask or think. It is His power in us that makes us super conquerors. The most important question is how much are we allowing God to work in us? The question is never one of God's ability or or His willingness. God is ready, willing, and able to do for us.

The question is are we limiting God by not allowing His power to be manifested in our lives.

[Nadiine]

To MysteryChristian,
I agree w/ the foundation of your posts - I had mentioned earlier that God GIVES US ALL WE NEED TO BE VICTORIOUS IN THIS LIFE. NO matter what our situations or circumstances.

It's all about educating ourselves in His word - OBEYING His commands is KEY; first & foremost (obedience brings life and blessing while disobedience causes many complications & troubles in our life - spiritually & materially)
and learning the principles of the spirit realms is key.
"be wise as snakes, and innocent as doves."

We already HAVE all we need to produce good fruit & gain victory over our enemy; we have to seek God first & follow His truths laid out for us in our Bibles. :holy:

[oliveplants]

NPD,
You have my prayers.

DH and I have often felt that the whole world is against us, that everything we do fails. But we had each other to depend on, and you don't have the support of your wife. That must be SO difficult.

One thing I find me telling myself is "Well, I feel this way, but what do I know?" For instance, I feel rejected. But I know that God said "Isa 49:15 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee."

The key for me was to immerse myself in the Word and praise music. I still don't have any friends IRL; I just don't get out much. But my outlook is generaly pretty good lately. I think when I do get low, it is related to hormones. The Word still works, though.

I would reccomend you see a doctor to find out if you have a chemical imbalance or something else going on. But in the meantime, remember that however you feel, you are a child of God.

Deut. 28:1 And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:
2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.
3 Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed shalt thou be in the field.
4 Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.
5 Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store.
6 Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out.
7 The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways.
8 The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
9 The LORD shall establish thee an holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways.
10 And all people of the earth shall see that thou art called by the name of the LORD; and they shall be afraid of thee.
11 And the LORD shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattle, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers to give thee.
12 The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow.
13 And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them:
14 And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

So what did you do last night? (friends like to know these things).
WELL I took my kids to see the Spring Training game yesterday and we went out to dinner afterwards.
By the time we got home, it was bedtime for them, and very soon thereafter bedtime for me.

I had a few minutes to play a few games on the computer to unwind; then I was off in bed too

My son goes to a special school in another town so we are up by 6 30 every morning to get ready

Needless to say I don't get out much
Even if I could honestly, well, where would I go ? LOL

[Smileyill]

WELL I took my kids to see the Spring Training game yesterday and we went out to dinner afterwards.
By the time we got home, it was bedtime for them, and very soon thereafter bedtime for me.

I had a few minutes to play a few games on the computer to unwind; then I was off in bed too

My son goes to a special school in another town so we are up by 6 30 every morning to get ready

Needless to say I don't get out much
Even if I could honestly, well, where would I go ? LOL

Spring training game? Baseball game? How neat, my parents never took me to such things, though we did go on fun road trips throughout the US.

How does he like the school? Does it provide for his needs?

Last night, I went to school and studied with a friend. Btw, are you going to the Autism One conference, in Chicago, on Memorial day weekened? You could meet people with like minds.

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

Spring training game? Baseball game? Btw, are you going to the Autism One conference, in Chicago, on Memorial day weekened? You could meet people with like minds.

Yeah

Don't go betting your Pizza money on the Pirates this year LOL

I did not know about the autism conference I will look into something like that Thanks


The school does as best as they can with meeting his needs He is mutliply diagnosed, the autism being probably the source of the other conditions, he is on meds and we do weekly counseling outside of the school

His IQ is off the high end; this is a blessing but makes for a mind that looks for ways around the rules and ways to justify his behaviors

He would make a great lawyer

He always looks for loopholes in the rules of society

I do not encourage that

What greatly disturbs me is that he too complains that people do not like him; at school he has alienated so many because of his behavior.
As for church, he does not go because they cannot handle his behavoior there. And he is too disruptive to have in a service.

I am reading every post here and want to say how appreciative I am at the posts.

Honestly, I usually get ignored even on the internet, and this is surprising me

I am struggling with questions that are so overwhelming; if God is supporting me through this, I don't feel like it or understand it. If God does Love me, I don't understand that either
And I consider myself to be a fairly intellegent person (hey I graduated from college at least)
I can't figure this one out though

I do have great confusion as to why I am so "Isolated" from the world. Clearly, with my family situation, that could be a part of a way to scare people away, but I what of people who do not know that? has our world become so fearful and rude that I am expecting too much?
And what of friends who seem to have abandoned me?
I have froends , like two or three, that I have known for many many years
Over the past few months, they have stopped calling, stopped returning calls, stopped answering Emails and seemingly lost all contact with me.
I could understand if one person moved or had something going on at work or something, but all three? at the same time?
And the ones I have around here? Again have little to do with me

Not that i have not reached out, but clearly something is scaring or driving them away or repulsing them
Something I cannot figure out

NOW to address a comment or a hint of a comment perhaps about evil here.
YES It is possible that there is a denomic force at work. It is possible. though I will be the first to tell you honestly that I am not sure I believe it, it is possible. Won't rule that out.
My son told a psychologist a few months ago that he sees "ghosts" in the house but they do not frighten or bother him.
I wrote this off to the medication, since it seems to happen as he is falling asleep at night and it could be meds playing tricks on his mind and his eyes.
BUT when I asked him, he tells me exactly where in the house he sees them and what they look like and everything and says that they are the same ones all the time
I have not seen them

We talked about if they are real or not and he seems to think that they are.

But again, he is on some psych meds and that's why I wonder about the whole thing

SO if there are evil forces at work, well that might explain some of the negative cloud, the examples of "murphys law" that seem to always be happening here
The fact that there seems to be so much negativity
here at home

But I cannot feel that such entities, if they are real, would be welcomed here Through this whole entire ordeal I have tried and tried to keep my feelings about God away from the kids I encourage them to say prayers, to follow what I know to be good, and to focus on what is Right.
Maybe I cannot keep up a facade, just like my wife and I being together but apart, I don't want to go and destroy any hope the kids might have and any faith they are able to form at such a young age
They love to watch Veggie Tales for example and I think the teachings there are quite good and above all else they like it and it causes them to have a positive image of God
Even if I feel left out

[liketotalk]

Hi there,

I wanted to say sorry you're going through a rough time. Take it day by day so you don't get too overwhelmed.

My youngest has Autism and it can be very difficult at times. You just do the best you can and keep loving your kids!

I pray that you find new friends and a church home where you and your family will be loved.

Take care!

[Smileyill]

I'll place no bets on the Pirates, thanks for the tip ;) haha.

Oh and btw, I'm in my last semester of law school so if your son has questions, I'll gladly answer them!

As for your friends, I've been through basically the same thing, though I never needed them as much as you do. I've even been the one to cut people off, always because I was dealing with something myself. Relationships take an awful lot of work and when I feel full of problems, I tend to cut off those close to me. I stop communicating and become mad at those who insist. Just my experience, and it takes a lot of work for me to come around. I have no idea what it'll take for you and your wife.

We go through seasons in our lives, sometimes long ones where nothing goes right. We learn from them. Especially when we recognize the issues and how we feel about them, as you do. As G.I. Joe would say, knowing is half the battle, and you know.

Now I've never seen a ghost or any such thing, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility. As the father, you're the spiritual head of your house and your faith protects your family to a large extent. Of course the meds make more sense. Plus, kids have better insight than we give them credit for, especially the really smart ones. (btw I would keep a very careful eye on your computer, if you don't already, kids with autism tend to be very, very good with them) They may know you have marital problems, but at least you stayed together and hopefully things will improve with work. Hey I'll begin praying for you daily, it won't hurt, right?

I highly recommend the autism one event, well at least my friend does.

So what plans do you have for the weekend?

[whateveristrue]

Hey brother... my life isn't much better than yours. But I know that as long as I have JESUS, everthing is fine. He is all I need to get through this life. I am quite certain God does not hate you.

[fifi]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet


Hi I read your post I am so sorry that things are not going well but listen to me God truly loves you it took me a while to see it myself But he paid the price for you. Know matter what people say are do to you Jesus loves you so much you cant even know thats how much . Second you have to understand that everyone that says they are christians but their life does not reflect that its because they are not so far all the people that have that are mean to you talk about you and then say they are christian they are not its the devil useing them. thats all God has not left you. Please just keep on praying and reading your word. Start with John 3:16 and I Cor 13:4-8 this shows what true love is.
I pray that this will be a start of a new day for. God bless you.

[Cris413]

God loves you so much! My heart does go out to you for the trials of your life. I believe you will never find as much support in people as you will in God's word.

No one wants to go through the valley. My understanding is the best fruit is grown in the valley. We have to be willing to walk through the valley. God will see us through it!

A song by Ginny Owens keeps popping in my head...

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

'Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to.

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone.

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help.
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to.

God loves you so much. I know it's very hard to feel it sometimes....but His love never fails.

If I may....please try not to be concerned with your "self" esteem. Esteem God. I have found when I take the focus off myself....and focus on God...it's His peace that floods through me. The circumstances of my life may not change...but the peace of Jesus flowing through them makes them much more managable.

Here's a small blessing....you didn't have to listen to me sing the song ;) God did not bless me with a pleasant voice....but even my voice...in praises of Him is a sweet melody to His ears.

If you feel in your heart God does not love you my friend, You are being lied to. Rebuke the lie in the Holy Name of Jesus Christ!

[shadowgem]

Hi, I'm sorry you've been having a tough time. You've had lots of advice so i won't say too much - just wanted to ask whether there are any voluntary agencies that might help you with childcare sometimes? It just strikes me that if you and your wife could just have a couple of hours a week quality time it might make a big difference to your life. Just a thought.

[kenblaster5000]

I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them cheated them (or anyone else )
BUT I am, what some might call, a "social reject"
I have little to no friends, a marriage that stinks, (my wife does not even pay attention to me) ...difficult kids who I love dearly, but they are very high need

I am not filthy rich but I get by, I am a college grad, twice, in fact, so it is not like I am too dumb for anyone to like. I am not attractive, but I am not deformed or anything like that. I am at least clean and well dressed.......
I am the kind of person who would throw a party, send out invites, get food , all that, and no one would show up. Even after they said that they would. After 3 or 4 times of that I quit trying.


I have a few close friends, very few, but consider this: People I would consider my closest friends probably think of me way down on their list. They don't return calls or do things with me anymore. I have done nothing that I can think of to alienate them, but if I have then I don't know what I have done.
Yes I am a very lonely , isolated person.

I could go to a singles dance, for instance, and not dance once. Through high school college, I never dated (I couldn't...no one would want to be een with me.)

Most all experiences I have had in churches have been bad.
I truly believe that most people are of the thought that "Oh I wish he wouldn't come to this church" (Don't worry I won't)

Many people for example, when I say hi to them, will say hi back then one of three things will happen. They will walk off, they will see someone who they know and start a conversation with that person instead, or they will say hang on and go off and pretend to be talking on their cell phone.

Real Nice
But I am used to it.


Consider this: Everything around me is failing.....everythign is crumbling and it really sucks to be me right now.

SO why would God not hate me? He is clearly NOT on my side Nor are his followers

You know, I have, throughout my life, asked any church for very little and always taken or gotten NOTHING!!!!

I once went into a catholic chuirch for a while; when I went to talk to the priest about converting, he blew me off.....
Great for my self esteem.

I went once to a priest at an episcopal church and got a little different response"OH the confirmation class is so hard to get into and we only acept members from the ROman church or the lutheran church because their liturgies are like ours " no kidding
In other words. get lost loser.....

Real great for my self esteem.

Once, when I was younger, my whole family joined a church one week. The next week the pastor forgot who I was, not just my name but that I was even a new member from the week before.
I walked out and never went back there again.....


SO again, clearly this is a clear indication that something is not wrong. I do not know why or how Christians of all people would reject me. I do not know why GOD would either.
But look around the evidence is clear and overwhelming.
God hates me.
I know it and feel it and am distraught by it.

And I don't know what to do, if anything, other than ignore it and go on, living unhappily and not enjoying a moment of my life. Or as I mentioned , attempt a total overhaul......

Of course I doubt anyone cares anyway
IF anyone cares, I would like to know who and where because in the years I have been searching I have not found them yet
Alright brother, God does love you. I know that God does love me, and I have gone through alot of what you have. Some people are so righteous that they do not take anytime to waste on some people. That is not our problem, but their problem, lacking love for their brothers. I pray that you will find the right church, not be so depressed, find joy in the Holy Spirit, and the right Christian friends that will love you to life like you deserve to be loved by these brothers and sisters. I do want to know, is your wife a Christian? Another thing, I went through a marriage that my wife would not pay attention to me, it hurt, but I grew closer to God, knowing he will not forsake me, in the sense that he is the only one who can truly comfort me. This, I think, is where you are heading. There are plenty of people out there, even Elijah said he was the only prophet left, and God reserved 5000 people who did not bow their knees to Baal. I am sure he has reserved people to fellowship with for you. Maybe this forum is the start. God bless you, brother, know that He does love you, and he wants you to love him more than you could love a wife, or a child. Also, brother, I love you also, and I am sure you will make some friends here, and find people to love you back to life. May it be so, in Jesus Christ's mighty name. May the Holy Spirit also fill you with a hunger and thirst for the word, and a place to secretly pray to your father in heaven. God bless you, Jesus Christ will not leave you, nor forsake you. You will find the ones you need very soon, just keep pressing on.

[Nadiine]

Alright brother, God does love you. I know that God does love me, and I have gone through alot of what you have. Some people are so righteous that they do not take anytime to waste on some people. That is not our problem, but their problem, lacking love for their brothers.
Um, I hate to be nitpicky here, but is there any reason to judge Christian's hearts & motives that they're so self righteous & "lack love"?

I know we want to give him love, comfort & help, but you're only hearing his side of the issue w/out anyone elses input to know anything more.
I don't think reaching out to someone needs to be at the expense of other Christians you don't even know to judge so harshly.

[kenblaster5000]

Um, I hate to be nitpicky here, but is there any reason to judge Christian's hearts & motives that they're so self righteous & "lack love"?

I know we want to give him love, comfort & help, but you're only hearing his side of the issue w/out anyone elses input to know anything more.
I don't think reaching out to someone needs to be at the expense of other Christians you don't even know to judge so harshly.
But some Christians are so fearful of being around those brothers that are still in sin, that these people find it too hard to even talk to them. I for one, have received confessions from people who trust me enough not to repeat it, and have actually given them advice, and told them it is wrong. I am not saying that this person is in sin, and I think this comment was out of the arena of what I should have typed, so I admit, you are right. Thank you very much sister, for noting my error. God bless you, I love so much to be corrected. So you see, I know what I am talking about in a sense, for I have experienced this, but this comment, I admit, was not relevant.

[racer]

NPD,

If your conversations go anything like your post, I can tell you why nobody wants to be around you. I'm not being mean, but have you ever heard of the "self-fulfilling-prophecy" theory? Lighten up. Think of positive things to talk about. Smile. Stand strait and don't slump . . . . . yaddayaddayadda . . . . :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :hug:

[racer]

NPD,

Have you ever talked to a doctor or a psychologist/psychiatrist for yourself? I mean have you ever been diagnosed as depressive. I ask because you speak of your son having this disorder and it sounds like your mother most likely was. Have you ever taken anti-depressants? I don't like the idea of a person being on medication for their entire life. But, sometimes it takes a little help to get the fog out of your head so you can work on changing your outlook on life and on what others think of you.

[skipper]

If you need a friend to talk with you can PM me anytime. I will not judge you I too have gone through some of these situations and maybe we could help each other out. Keep your faith because when man lets you down God will be there. It may not always be what you want but he is there.

[psalmody]

Needsprayersdaily: Good name! and you've received lots of good advice, so I wont take up too much of your time. One thing: Do keep praying! and take time to LISTEN to Him, too.
Psalmody

[GregoryTurner]

Needsprayerdaily...

My heart is very heavy after reading some of this thread. I feel you on every aspect except the autistic child. Sometimes I feel the exact same way you do. Since I quit drugs almost 8 years ago, I have had no friends. My wife and kids are my only friends. I have people at my church that seem like they want nothing to do with me. I think it is because I am sooooo into music and golf.

Imagine working with about 10+ people who play golf and play all the time. When the time comes for you to play, they all find ways to go off before you or lag behind like they need to do something else even after you tell them that you can wait and they tell you that is ok,they will catch up. Of course they never do.

I do not go out anywhere. I sit at home and play my instruments, read my bible, or look at golf magazines. My wife is in online college so alot of her time is taken up with that. No complaints because she is doing something that she wants to do and I am completely fine with that.

Needs, If you ever need anything... please feel free to ask me. I would LOVE to be your friend. It matters not to me what you look like, how neat you dress, or anything like that.

Tell me about some of the things that interest you about life and things you like to do. If you have time that is:) thank you for your time...

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

Thanks everyone Your posts mean more to me than you will ever realize
Today we have a full day of Dr appointments so I will post tonight when I have more time

I have be reading everyone of your posts. You are all proof that there are loving people within the Christian family

Thanks

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

If you need a friend to talk with you can PM me anytime. I will not judge you I too have gone through some of these situations and maybe we could help each other out. Keep your faith because when man lets you down God will be there. It may not always be what you want but he is there.

I will Thanks :)

Needsprayersdaily: Good name! and you've received lots of good advice, so I wont take up too much of your time. One thing: Do keep praying! and take time to LISTEN to Him, too.
Psalmody
I do pray, but I am convinced that God does not hear my prayers, which is part of the whole issue here

Or I just don't understand, which is probable

Needsprayerdaily...

My heart is very heavy after reading some of this thread. I feel you on every aspect except the autistic child. Sometimes I feel the exact same way you do. Since I quit drugs almost 8 years ago, I have had no friends. My wife and kids are my only friends. I have people at my church that seem like they want nothing to do with me. I think it is because I am sooooo into music and golf.

Imagine working with about 10+ people who play golf and play all the time. When the time comes for you to play, they all find ways to go off before you or lag behind like they need to do something else even after you tell them that you can wait and they tell you that is ok,they will catch up. Of course they never do.

I do not go out anywhere. I sit at home and play my instruments, read my bible, or look at golf magazines. My wife is in online college so alot of her time is taken up with that. No complaints because she is doing something that she wants to do and I am completely fine with that.

Needs, If you ever need anything... please feel free to ask me. I would LOVE to be your friend. It matters not to me what you look like, how neat you dress, or anything like that.

Tell me about some of the things that interest you about life and things you like to do. If you have time that is:) thank you for your time...

I can relate to what you are saying
But I don't play golf But I know what you mean

Yeah I don't go out anywhere either. I mean where would I go ?

I don't drink really either
The deal with that is that I cannot tolerate alcohol
One beer and I am gone

Someone asked if I have counseling. Yes I do. No help yet......
Medications? not currently, we tried some antidepressants last year and the side effects were pretty severe
After about the 4th ones I said not more for now
----------------

One of my "friends" is a very religious individual I am always fascinated by his relationship with God how he seems to say that things always work out how God loves him and helps him How he has all the friends in his church and etc etc
Must be nice

I would love to ask him about it, and if he would ever return my calls I would

He's another one of the ones who I may hear from once a month, even though I call him twice a week and leave messages for him. When he does call, he has little time to talk, the conversation is brief usually "oh I am so busy I am sorry I couldn't call you back...gotta run"

As for people at church, there seems to be a very "hi how are you" but that is as far as anyone will go with me in the conversation.

I have tried

[AmandaLynn1288]

Hi! I know that I am young, and don't really have that much life experience, but I do know that God loves you, and that there are people out there who care (as you can see from all your posts!). I'm really sorry for the way that people have treated you in the past... no one deserves that! I'm sure you are an amazing person! You just have to keep your faith in God... because, in all honesty, He is the only one that matters. I know that it is hard to let go of things, but it sounds like maybe you should try to just start over. My mother has always taught me that I have to have a positive attitude if I want to attract positive things, so try to be as positive as you can. It helps to start by learning to be grateful for everything that you do have, and you can't be afraid of bad things happening... you have to believe that from here on out nothing but good will happen. I'm gonna be praying for you, and I just know that God will take care of you! Stay strong okay. God bless!! :)

[The Princess Bride]

My heart goes out to you, because I know all too well how you feel about quite a bit that's going on with you.

BUT regardless of what man may say or do to you, GOD LOVES YOU.

It is often in the times we find no one else close to call on, that God is to be the one we rely on and whose companionship we trust in.

Ask God to bring you godly people to lift you up, it may not be many, but 2-5 close friends is better than a crowd of aquaintences any day. :)

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

First, I want to say thanks again to everyone who poured out love to me. I am thankful more than you may know

Second, we had a not real good week here last week. I don't want to go into details, but the one kid injured the other kid, and yes, it had to do with the mental illness but that is no excuse.

I have had some very interesting dreams since making this post and perhaps from reading some comments
The Princess Bride

Ask God to bring you godly people to lift you up, it may not be many, but 2-5 close friends is better than a crowd of aquaintences any day. :)

WELL
I had a dream in which some of these so -called friends of mine, the ones who never return calls after years of talking to me and being friends and all, well in this dream I was told to move on and waste no energy on them.
Not exactly sure what that means, but oddly enough the dream was BEFORE I read Princess' post, and later she shows up and says I should ask God to send more "godly" people my way
Perhaps the dream was a realization that if so called "friends" who have no time for me anymore are the source (and only one source) of frustration the YES I should move on.

Also I am convinced more and more everyday that my kids are my first priority and sometimes my ONLY priority

I am sure that there are people out there who have kids and have a life too. I think I have observed them.
Certianly there are people who have a chruch relationship too, have kids and have a life...etc

I envy them because that has never worked out for me.

Going to a church has almost become a viscious cycle for me; I can continue to go to ones I already attend knowing that I am not ever going to be included in naything, or I can go to different ones, walking in always convinced that no one there is going to like me either, in which case I ask myself "well why bother?"

If God wants me in a church, then why has He not guided me to one?

[oliveplants]

I'm glad you posted again, I had been wondering about you.

I pray you will find a church where you fit. In my own life it seems that God blesses, but I have to do my part. We have a house for sale, and I know God will have the right person come and buy it. But we always have more calls when we are out making improvements on the place. SO I guess I'm saying God has a place for you, but you have to look. And go with the expectation that "this might be the one!" If you knew beforehand that these people would become your best friends, how would you present yourself to them?

ANyway, we are praying for you. :)

[NeedingPrayersDaily]

I'm glad you posted again, I had been wondering about you.

SO I guess I'm saying God has a place for you, but you have to look. And go with the expectation that "this might be the one!" If you knew beforehand that these people would become your best friends, how would you present yourself to them?

ANyway, we are praying for you. :)

THANKS

Things are a little calmer today The younger one got his stitches out and he is not scarred up too bad thankfully.

I agree that I have to go into a church congregation with the attitude that I might be accepted. But after so many times of not having things work out I am losing face.

Some people would go with friends; I have lived here for 8 years and really don't know anyone , at least not anyone who goes to church; the few aforementioned ones do not ever invite me to go with them

I'd like to simply know what it is about me that drives people away.

If I knew that much I could change it.

[TheCosmicGospel]

Every butterfly has to go through some excruciating changes. They have to leave the cacoon. A butterfly never re-enters the cacoon. Leave the old life much the same way. You have grown in ways you do not fully know from all the things that have happened to you.

It is time to find your wings and a new sky.

Cheers,
Cosmic

[Smileyill]

It is good to see you still around.

You have much to share, you know more about autism than most people and the news has recently taken it up again. I understand that many parents have no idea how to deal with autism; I'm sure they would treasure your advice.

Actually, the friend that I told you about is trying get interest people involved in Illinois (I don't know where you're from). She meets with legislators and could use all the help she can find. So if you're interested send me a PM (or if you just have questions on anything)

As for churches, I have the same problem. I sit with people I know and they say hi, but except for one man, I have done nothing outside of church with them and I've attended there 2+ years. Of course, I lack a car and that poses problems.

[The Princess Bride]

First, I want to say thanks again to everyone who poured out love to me. I am thankful more than you may know

Second, we had a not real good week here last week. I don't want to go into details, but the one kid injured the other kid, and yes, it had to do with the mental illness but that is no excuse.

I have had some very interesting dreams since making this post and perhaps from reading some comments
The Princess Bride

Ask God to bring you godly people to lift you up, it may not be many, but 2-5 close friends is better than a crowd of aquaintences any day. :)

WELL
I had a dream in which some of these so -called friends of mine, the ones who never return calls after years of talking to me and being friends and all, well in this dream I was told to move on and waste no energy on them.
Not exactly sure what that means, but oddly enough the dream was BEFORE I read Princess' post, and later she shows up and says I should ask God to send more "godly" people my way
Perhaps the dream was a realization that if so called "friends" who have no time for me anymore are the source (and only one source) of frustration the YES I should move on.

Also I am convinced more and more everyday that my kids are my first priority and sometimes my ONLY priority

I am sure that there are people out there who have kids and have a life too. I think I have observed them.
Certianly there are people who have a chruch relationship too, have kids and have a life...etc

I envy them because that has never worked out for me.

Going to a church has almost become a viscious cycle for me; I can continue to go to ones I already attend knowing that I am not ever going to be included in naything, or I can go to different ones, walking in always convinced that no one there is going to like me either, in which case I ask myself "well why bother?"

If God wants me in a church, then why has He not guided me to one?
From experience, I have learned that God often lets us to our "last shred" of sanity, to see just how far, and how willing we are to abandon it all to follow Him.:)

When we hang in there through the testing, the reward we recieve is far above and beyond ALL that we could ask for or imagine. We just have to WAIT.

God says He will give us to desires of our heart, and He also says His plan is to give us a hope and a future.

Well, our part in that is to align our will and desires with HIS will and desire for our life.

I dont know why God has you in this season that He does, because I certainly DO NOT have all the answers..lol...

But I DO KNOW...your faithfulness to seeking Him will NOT go unrewarded. :hug:

[MaidforHim]

OK, well first of all you asked.... So I am asuming you want a broad spectrum of honest heart felt opinions.I am coming in late on this post and haven't read all the replies, so if this doesn't fit just take it with a grain of salt OK.


So to just blurt it out... I see a heart problem here. A problem that exists in your heart that colors your perspective and my friend perspective can make a HUGE difference in everything we face and how we feel about others.

How we look at things is a choice. We can decide to be positive or negative, to assume someone is walking away because they don't like us or because they've seen a close friend across the room. Changing your perspective is hard, but not impossible and can be down right easy with Jesus Christ leading the way. :thumbsup:


One Last plea for help


I am putting this out on the table, one time, and one time only.
If you want to talk I will listen IF not, well, join the crowd.

I have some things that are destroying my life.
THis is not a joke.

No I don't drink or do drugs.
But if "murphy's law" is real then I am living proof

SO here it is.

1 I am convinced that for some reason, God hates me. I don't know why, but He does.

...God doesn't hate you or anyone else for that matter. Don't take my word for it, take His...
2Pe 3:9 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?word=2pe+3:9&version=kjv&st=1&sd=1&new=1&showtools=1) - Show Context (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2pe+3:9&version=kjv&context=1&showtools=1) The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

1Jo 2:2 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?word=1jo+2:2&version=kjv&st=1&sd=1&new=1&showtools=1) - Show Context (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1jo+2:2&version=kjv&context=1&showtools=1)And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
1Jo 4:10 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?word=1jo+4:10&version=kjv&st=1&sd=1&new=1&showtools=1) - Show Context (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1jo+4:10&version=kjv&context=1&showtools=1)Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

...He died for YOUR sins as well as everyone elses. Doesn't sound like something someone would do if they didn't love you. His word declares He DOES LOVE YOU. Do you believe in Him and His word or not?

This is a matter of faith.


2 A large number of his followers do too. Now I have never done anything malicious to any of these people (or really much to anyone either)
I have not lied to them