IFB or SBC?

[DiscipleOfIAm]

Well, we're down to the wire. Tomorrow we will decide which of the two churches to visit. An SBC church or an IFB church? We have been to both. My wife and kids love the SBC more. I lean towards the IFB sometimes.

We visited the SBC a month ago and really enjoyed all aspects of it. We attended the IFB for about month straight awhile back and enjoyed the preaching, but for reasons below did not committ to it.

Here are the differences:

IFB does not have a children's service. The children ages 4 and above stay in the service with the adults. My 7 year is bored out of her mind the whole time and is distracting sometimes. My 3 1/2 year old loves the nursery, but in a month when she turns 4 and has to be in the service with us, look out! She will ruin everyone's day in that sanctuary! They do have Sunday School for kids, but that's about it. Even on Wednesday nights the kids are in the service.

SBC has a great children's program. There are children's services during the morning service as well as Sunday School and Sunday evening children's classes. They also have AWANA on Wednesday nights.

Both have strong preaching and good people there. Both are biblically sound in doctrine and practices / teachings. The SBC is in another town about 25 miles away from us. The IFB is right here in town less than 10 minutes away.

My wife hesitates with the IFB because of some of the legalism and the fact of no children's services. We have discussed the legalisms with the pastor and he has stressed that there is no set rule. No one will make us feel different or make us do anything we do not want or feel led to do. My wife calls it the "Little House on the Prarie" church.

I hesitate with the SBC because it is in a different community. Can we really be fully involved in the church if it is not even in our own community? Will we make the drive for all of the services? Will we feel connected? Other than that, I saw nothing else to hold me back from it.

I feel obligated to the IFB as the pastor has been so helpful to me. He has sent, free of charge, many books, sermons on CD, hours of emailing back and forth, etc.

She has left it up to me to lead us where we need to be, but still I don't want people to be miserable at church.

What do you guys think? Am I being petty? Is it obvious and I just don't see it?

God Bless!

[DeaconDean]

I understand your concerns. I was raised from 6 y/o up until 12 an Independant Baptist. It was later on that I became Southern Baptist. And your right, both have their pluses and minuses. But what I don't see in your posts is this, prayer for the Lord to led you to where He wants to go. Like I said, I was raised Independant Baptist and Mom and Dad would drive some 12 miles to attend church. Now that I'm SB, I drive some 13 miles to attend church. The distance souldn't be a deciding factor, what should be deciding factor is God's guilding hand. Pray and ask Him to reveal to you where He wants you to go. If you follow His led, you'll never go wrong.

God Bless

Till all are one.

[Flynmonkie]

Although I don't necessarily agree with all the SBC practices, I belong to an SBC and love the fellowship and edification, ESPECIALLY, the various children’s functions. At that age I believe it is important to get them involved in the basics. But I also love my pastor... it makes a difference. Previously I had attended one of our family friends churches, he is the pastor, it is an Independent Baptist church and actually had a great children’s church, but it was rather large. I believe Red attends the sister church to that church. I no longer attend there because of the distance, but there is not much difference that I see other than the SB Convention issues. Even the SBC is 35 miles from my home.. Yes, it is hard to become involved but if it is large you just might find home groups (check to see if they have them) in your area, or others that attend.
I don't place too much emphasis on community churches, although nice, where I live the only offering is Lutheran, Catholic, Mormon and some varying extremists. I literally prayed for nine months before the answer came. In the meantime I home churched. It might be the same thing you will have to do!:prayer:
Something to think about, remember to ask not what your church can do for you, but how God might use you and teach you through that church. What are the lessons you might learn from each, sometimes without challenge we become complacent, this could lead to dormancy IMHCO.

[RED that's ME]

You might have a good spiritual foundation and good Bible knowledge. IMO you really need to think of your wife & especially your kids since you are the spiritual leader in the home. I know bunches of kids who grew up in churches that didn't minister to them. They don't have a good spiritual foundation and don't have good testimonies (not saying this is true with everyone).

It sounds like the SBC goes out of it's way to minister to all ages spiritually and makes sure they get a good foundation and growing in their faith. :)
Your decision should be based on what is best for your WHOLE family spiritually. :)

[DiscipleOfIAm]

Well, we ended up at the SBC this morning. On the way home, we began our discussion. We'll see where we end up. Only He knows.

To respond to an earlier concern, yes, I have been praying for the Lord to lead me to the right church. I'm sorry I didn't put that in the OP. Anyway, thanks again all!

[Matthan]

Fellowship = the key to any successful congregation

No children distracting the service = better understanding for older worshipers

Distance to drive? How far did God go for you?

Personally, after having spent long miserable hours in attendence at a church that seems to relish having children distract at every opportunity, this is a no-brainer. I often think about what I might have missed because some child was playing with his toy car, or running up and down the isle, or just banging on the pews.

But, I would definitely talk with the IFB pastor and let him know why you decided on another congregation. Maybe they could arrange for kids under 10 to be in supervised care during services.

Hey, I might love them dearly, but a church service is no place for small children in my humble (and often wrong) opinion.

Matthan

[DiscipleOfIAm]

Fellowship = the key to any successful congregation

No children distracting the service = better understanding for older worshipers

Distance to drive? How far did God go for you?

Personally, after having spent long miserable hours in attendence at a church that seems to relish having children distract at every opportunity, this is a no-brainer. I often think about what I might have missed because some child was playing with his toy car, or running up and down the isle, or just banging on the pews.

But, I would definitely talk with the IFB pastor and let him know why you decided on another congregation. Maybe they could arrange for kids under 10 to be in supervised care during services.

Hey, I might love them dearly, but a church service is no place for small children in my humble (and often wrong) opinion.

Matthan

I've talked to him before. They used to have a children service, but they stopped a few years ago. Here's why. They have a bus ministry and they switched the bus ministry to Saturdays so the kids from the bus ministry can have a more controlled church service. They felt the kids of the parents who attend with them on Sundays, have their parents' guidance at home, the bus kids do not. So, the kids whose parents attend, need to be in the service under the direction of the pastor and can be guided at home as well.

The pastor feels very strong about this. He has told me that Lester Rolof (I think?) or Lee Roberson believed and practiced this same way for 40 years and it proved successful. He also said that about a year ago they brought back the Wednesday night "children's service", but did not receive a good response from the congregation. Apparently, none of the kids went, they still stayed in the service with their parents.

Surprisingly, the kids are very well behaved. You rarely hear or see them doing anything, but listening. Unfortunately, my kids would be the distractors. Not because I cannot control them, but because they are used to being in a children's service and being around kids doing a bible lesson. They would figit and be bored. We all know what bored kids end up doing! The issue here with me, is not that they would distract, but they would not grow and learn naything under the pastor and only having Sunday School classes with other kids. I just feel age 4 is pretty young. I think maybe starting at 10 or 12 would be fine.

Anyway. We haven't talked much more about church or anything today. It's been a bad weekend!

God Bless!

[Flynmonkie]

The mention of kids in “big church” reminded me of when I was little. My aunt is ten years older. Ironically on Thanksgiving she told the story of what it was like when she got caught “not” paying attention in church, her daddy, my granddaddy was a deacon in the church. She remembered one incident smack in the middle of the sermon where she and another girl were not paying attention and passing notes during it all. At some point, while looking at her friends class ring it flew off her finger into the choir and you could hear it ping, ping… across the floor.

It was everything they could do not to giggle, right about that time that the pastor minced his words and they burst out laughing (very distracting) all of a sudden she said you heard the doors at the back of the church fling open and here came my granddaddy down the isle. Excusing himself all the way across the pew…dead silence across the congregation. He then sat down between the girls and leaned back with an arm around each one of them on the back of the pew. All of a sudden you heard from the pastor; “Thank you Brother Richard” There is something to be said about teaching children to be quiet in church!

But at some ages, I think it is very difficult. I know he was much more lenient with me at 3 or 4 than my aunt at 13-14. But I know I must have been disruptive at some given time. I am just not sold on the idea having had it both ways looking back. Church should be just as edifying for kids as it is for us. It seems a bit unfair to set them in a situation where they probably will fail, you know? It could prove to memories of frustration than edification? Maybe your called to start a ministry such as this but if the pastor is dogmatic.. sounds like a bit of a challenge.:scratch:

[JacobHall86]

Southern Baptist FTW.

Noone does Missions like an SBC church or Coop program.

[DiscipleOfIAm]

Southern Baptist FTW.

Noone does Missions like an SBC church or Coop program.
What is FTW? I don't know what that is.

Thanks!

[MatthewDiscipleofGod]

Southern Baptist FTW.

Noone does Missions like an SBC church or Coop program.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Does your SBC church have a new missionary speak almost weekly like our IFB church does? ;)

[JacobHall86]

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Does your SBC church have a new missionary speak almost weekly like our IFB church does? ;)

Actually we usually have people from our congregation in the field about half the year, (atleast the time compiles to about that much) plus the missionaries we support, and on top of all that, we have adopted a Country that we sponser, support missionaries and send people too several times a year. ALl of that is ontop of giving to the Coop program. But having missionaries come back here to speak is good too, i guess............. ;)

[JacobHall86]

What is FTW? I don't know what that is.

Thanks!

For The Win.

[DiscipleOfIAm]

For The Win.
Gotcha! I couldn't figure that one out for the life of me!

[JPPT1974]

In my church, as a Southern Baptist,
We do missions a lot and used to go
To Venezeula that is until what happened
With the Government, I will leave it at that.