How to relate to a brother?

[DubWarrior2006]

Hello everyone. I have a problem that is eating away at me. I have a close brother who is experiencing drug dependency issues. He uses prescription drugs such as morphine and methodone, and injects them. I have not lived with him for eighteen months and have recently discovered how bad the problem is. He can't seem to withdraw. The problem is that he doesn't seem to want to! He knows it controls him, but he won't admit it.

I myself have lived with drug dependency issues in the past (though not to my brothers degree). I have battled my demons, and I believe it is Jesus who has guided me (and will continue to do so) through this. But I can't take that line with my bro. If I start preaching Jesus to him he will distance himself and disregard anything I have to say. I KNOW THIS.

I know he doesn't hate me (quite the opposite), but whenever I try to be realistic with him about his problem, he gets extremely defensive, to the point of threatening me or worse (getting violent).

Has anyone had this problem before?

God bless and thank you.

PS: This post and my post, "Fear of prayer...?", may be my last posts for a few days, so I would really appreciate your input. I seriously don't know how to handle this situation. It is affecting me.

[FrAnthony]

I myself have lived with drug dependency issues in the past (though not to my brothers degree). I have battled my demons, and I believe it is Jesus who has guided me (and will continue to do so) through this. But I can't take that line with my bro. If I start preaching Jesus to him he will distance himself and disregard anything I have to say. I KNOW THIS.

Until he wants to change, it won't happen. All you can do is love him and pray for him (once you get beyond the "fear of prayer" :) ). You can ask for guidance from your local Narcotics Anonymous leaders, or even the Alcoholics Anonymous. They may have some "tricks of the trade", but do your best not to push him away. Some things are within your ability to control, but you can't control others. Suggested prayer (one of my favorites):

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference."

Don't support or accept his sins, but try to be there when he falls if you can.

In Christ,
Fr. Anthony

[DubWarrior2006]

Thank you. I know the serenity prayer quite well, as does my brother from his days in rehab. I appreciate your help.

Peace.

[heymikey80]

I've read this on & off for days, I have a similar issue with someone.

While going through this I've had to refer again and again back to my own catechism instructions about dealing with my brothers. Sometimes summaries like catechisms can help give you insight into how to work within your limits, as well.

The duties of equals are, to regard the dignity and worth of each other, in giving honour to go one before another; and to rejoice in each others’ gifts and advancement, as their own.


The sins of equals are, besides the neglect of the duties required, the undervaluing of the worth, envying the gifts, grieving at the advancement of prosperity one of another; and usurping pre-eminence one over another.

[Ruth~]

Hello everyone. I have a problem that is eating away at me. I have a close brother who is experiencing drug dependency issues. He uses prescription drugs such as morphine and methodone, and injects them. I have not lived with him for eighteen months and have recently discovered how bad the problem is. He can't seem to withdraw. The problem is that he doesn't seem to want to! He knows it controls him, but he won't admit it.

I myself have lived with drug dependency issues in the past (though not to my brothers degree). I have battled my demons, and I believe it is Jesus who has guided me (and will continue to do so) through this. But I can't take that line with my bro. If I start preaching Jesus to him he will distance himself and disregard anything I have to say. I KNOW THIS.

I know he doesn't hate me (quite the opposite), but whenever I try to be realistic with him about his problem, he gets extremely defensive, to the point of threatening me or worse (getting violent).

Has anyone had this problem before?

God bless and thank you.

PS: This post and my post, "Fear of prayer...?", may be my last posts for a few days, so I would really appreciate your input. I seriously don't know how to handle this situation. It is affecting me.
I have experienced having relatives with substance abuse. I found I could only try to be a good example for them. Maybe you could see a counselor to help you with more ideas.

You are invited to the Ministry area of CF.

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j244/Arora50/rosesanddiamonds.gif

[Adriana]

The problem is that he doesn't seem to want to! He knows it controls him, but he won't admit it.
(...) If I start preaching Jesus to him he will distance himself and disregard anything I have to say. I KNOW THIS.



Hi, DubWarrior

I have posted a thread asking people if I could intercede on behalf of someone...a very close friend who consumes alcohol in excess.

Most people said yes, but experience has taught me that is impossible to help those who don't want 2b helped!

I understand why you avoid preaching Jesus...they react in a very aggressive way. But have you tried to introduce Jesus by other means? Gospel songs, for instance? I've been trying this because I believe that music is able to arouse feelings in people's heart!

Another thing that I've been noticing is that when we pray :pray: Jesus always finds a way to bee seen by the "lost sheep" ....but it's up to the lost sheep to accept Him.