Friendly Christians a myth?

[SteelDisciple]

As I said in another thread...i've met FAR more friendly and caring athiests than I have Christians. And then I started to wonder...is it because many christians are being nice and caring because they feel they NEED to be to please God? Or are they nice and friendly because they WANT to be?

That can make a huge bit of difference....being nice and forcing yourself to be nice are two very different things. Ones a lie and one is not.

I think this is something that is currently going on with many in the Church. Falling the letter of the Law. Being "good" because it's what God commanded us to do and be like.

But fake sincerity and warmth is no better than lying to a persons face.

What do you think? Does this seem to be more common? Why is it many say that they've met nicer non-Christians than they have Christians? Something seems very, very wrong here.

[fratz]

i agree

[whateveristrue]

It might very well be, that many who call themselves Christians... are in fact NOT really Christians.

Genuine Christians will exhibit the qualities of Christ... and that includes love and compassion.

[InDeoHonorium2]

Well I have met some really nice aetheists too and some who were not nice.......
Same for Christians..I have met some who were loving and caring, and I believe that they are truly that way, and some who were total nasty hateful people.

Maybe it is not an issue of being Christian or not.....

But you are right something seems very very wrong---

I would call into accuont only what I myself do...sometimes, yes I do not act like the nicest person on earth and true, I see that in others.
I would not go so far as to be a hypocrit about it and say one thing and do something else, which is kind of sort of what you are addressing here.......Christians who may make claim to live under love and peace but certainly don't act like it

Has your experince been that maybe one type/denomination of Christian is more guilty of this than others? or is it the same accross the board for everyone ?

[SteelDisciple]

Well I have met some really nice aetheists too and some who were not nice.......
Same for Christians..I have met some who were loving and caring, and I believe that they are truly that way, and some who were total nasty hateful people.

Maybe it is not an issue of being Christian or not.....

But you are right something seems very very wrong---

I would call into accuont only what I myself do...sometimes, yes I do not act like the nicest person on earth and true, I see that in others.
I would not go so far as to be a hypocrit about it and say one thing and do something else, which is kind of sort of what you are addressing here.......Christians who may make claim to live under love and peace but certainly don't act like it

Has your experince been that maybe one type/denomination of Christian is more guilty of this than others? or is it the same accross the board for everyone ?


From what I've seen, it seems to be all across the board. (I've gone to a lot of churches before settling into one finally)

It's true that there are good and bad in Christian and Non alike...but it seems to be much more dominant for this behavior to show up in those claiming to be Christian. And it may be that they ARE Christian...it's just that they have a bad attitude or are cold or just not very friendly. It doesn't mean they are fake christians...they are just not friendly. Narrow in personality and open-ness.



It seems that a large body of believers is becoming the opposite of what Christ teaches. So bent on rules and regulations that they've forgotten the heart of Christ. So obsessed with studying the Word of God, they forgot to FEEL the Word of God.

[InDeoHonorium2]

It seems that a large body of believers is becoming the opposite of what Christ teaches. So bent on rules and regulations that they've forgotten the heart of Christ. So obsessed with studying the Word of God, they forgot to FEEL the Word of God.

You may have hit upon the right path there. I am going to start a new thread right away about the reasons for attending church; You have given me thought on this and I appreciate that

I have met so many "christians" who are of the idea that "If you don;t worship and believe exactly as I do then you are not a Christian"
Such thinking is detrimental to everyone.....what would Jesus say about it?

[flyingsum0]

From what I knwo of people, niceness and friendliness has nothing to do with faith as much as i would like to believe it does.

[whateveristrue]

From what I knwo of people, niceness and friendliness has nothing to do with faith as much as i would like to believe it does.

I guess I can agree with that... "friendliness" and "niceness" may just be a talent some people have... however, genuine caring and loving is something else.

[arunma]

As I said in another thread...i've met FAR more friendly and caring athiests than I have Christians. And then I started to wonder...is it because many christians are being nice and caring because they feel they NEED to be to please God? Or are they nice and friendly because they WANT to be?

That can make a huge bit of difference....being nice and forcing yourself to be nice are two very different things. Ones a lie and one is not.

I think this is something that is currently going on with many in the Church. Falling the letter of the Law. Being "good" because it's what God commanded us to do and be like.

But fake sincerity and warmth is no better than lying to a persons face.

What do you think? Does this seem to be more common? Why is it many say that they've met nicer non-Christians than they have Christians? Something seems very, very wrong here.

I have a question: are you referring to people whom you personally meet, or people on this forum? On this forum, there are indeed many unfriendly Christians, and many more friendly atheists. Some Christians here are so concerned with defending their dearly-held doctrines that they neglect the doctrine of love (which is a very dangeous thing, since the Bible says that a person who does not have love has nothing at all). But my guess is that this is because CF tends to attract people who like to debate. The people at my church are some of the friendliest people I have ever met. Also remember that friendly atheists are not necessarily being friendly because they are intrinsically nice people. While some Christian hypocrites act as nice people to please God, many atheists also act as though they were nice in order to please man.

The Bible tells us that our righteousness comes from Christ. So I would tend to believe that any Christian who is truly born again has become intrinsically good by virtue of his faith in Christ. For that reason, it is impossible to be nice without being hypocritical, unless one has faith in Christ.

[JDIBe]

Most of the atheists I have met in my life were bitter, harsh, unhappy people. I guess we travel in different circles....

Whether or not someone is "nice" or not is not the point. Being "nice" comes easily to some people. It is a blessing from God. With others, being "nice" is very difficult. It may be a function of their upbringing, their health, or their personality.

But if someone is nice to me because they feel the need to please God, then I say, God bless them. It shows to me that they realize their current state of mind is not right and they are trying to let God work on, and change them into something better. There are a lot of people in this world who are nice to me because they think they can get something from me. If someone tolerates me because they know God would want them to, I can live with that. And I'll do my best to make it as easy as possible for them, too.
Besides, what's the alternative? Do you WANT them to be nasty toward you?

As C.S. Lewis once said, "God didn't come to earth to make "nice people"." He came to save souls. Yes there are some Christians (as well as Athiests) who just don't care. But there are some who do. Not everyone starts out at the same level and those that seem the worst may have made more progress than you know. Try to make it as easy as possible for those who at least try.

[Joshua Howard]

There's alot of hypocrites out there, but that's not everybody. The kindest people I know are Christians, as a matter of fact.

I'm friendly though, so there you go... don't give up on everybody without talking to me first. ;)

[~InHisHands~]

I wonder if it isn't just an issue of not being at the level of spiritual maturity that others may be at. :)

[RonnyRulz]

As I said in another thread...i've met FAR more friendly and caring athiests than I have Christians.


I would completely disagree. Roaming the internet, ESPECIALLY forums, Christians, even the meanest judgemental Christians, are still nicer than the random internet atheist.

I especially notice this on forums. You go to any forum and there are people so mean, so hating, so evil, that they attack you for absoultely no reason. They insult you, pick on you, hate you, degrade you, attack you, flame you, and try to make you look horrible for no other reason than just to be a jerk to others.

In this Christian forum, I never feel like that. I can post anything from excited to completely idiotic, and people are actually very nice. Even the mean Christians here are nicer compared to the random non-christian.

Atheists can especially be heartless and ruthless in their hatred and attacks because they are selfish, more likely to be rude and attack others, and have no remorse or guilt for doing so. Afterall, why would they? If I was Atheist, I'd be ruthless and heartless. Atheists don't believe in reaping for what you sow or an afterlife. Nor do they have standards such as "Love others as much as God loves them." They can't have that standard because they don't believe God exists, let alone what His Love is like. They can have their own man-made standards of "Treat others good" but that's no more than just filthy defiled dirty rags of self-righteousness.

I don't mean to pick on atheists of course, all non-christians are selfish jerks. Man is just naturally selfish. The only way a human being can be selfless is through God, and if you don't believe in any god at all, you can't be selfless. I'm not saying only Christians can be selfless, because God can use anyone, but I do know that those who walk in the Spirit are the only ones that can be selfless because all others don't walk in the Spirit. Any selfless acts ever done by someone not walking in the Spirit were because God basically possessed them and did the selfless part for them. Even if some Christians are jugemental, even hating, at least they won't purposefully, for absolutely no reason, attack you, flame you, persecute you, hate you, and belittled you just for the heck of it.

I say this with over 9+ years of roaming the internet and forums. Hundreds of thousands upon thousands upon THOUSANDS of hours on forums. Lots of experience. Christians are definitely nicer, and nonbelievers, especially atheists, can be some of the most heartless jerks imaginable.

The internet is a great tool to see into the true hearts of people, because there are no boundaries and people are free to say and do whatever they want. It's disturbing...very disturbing...that the hearts of men are so wicked as from what I've seen from the internet....so disturbing... And it brings me to realize how all men sin and are worthy of death. After being around the internet for 9 years, I'd agree, all men are deserving of death for their sin. And I don't even know the beginning of what's actually in our wicked hearts.

[~InHisHands~]

You haven't met the christians I've met on here. ;)

[RonnyRulz]

Exactly my point though. They specifically don't attack for no reason. I haven't met them because they won't attack me and hurt me without a reason.

I'm sure the reason is bad, but at least they have a reason and in their eyes are justified. That still makes it wrong, but it's still not as bad as people who purposefully do evil just for the heck of it. At least the bad christians are being deceived they are doing good.

It's one thing to think you're doing good and do bad.
It's another to know you're doing bad and do bad.

[~InHisHands~]

True. But, it doesn't make it hurt any less. You know? :)

[arunma]

There's alot of hypocrites out there, but that's not everybody. The kindest people I know are Christians, as a matter of fact.

I agree completely. I did not grow up in the church. While I had known nominal Christians my entire life, the first time I met genuine, believing Christians was when I became a Christian during my sophomore year of college. And as you say, they are among the nicest people I know.

[rocklife]

I would completely disagree. Roaming the internet, ESPECIALLY forums, Christians, even the meanest judgemental Christians, are still nicer than the random internet atheist.

I especially notice this on forums. You go to any forum and there are people so mean, so hating, so evil, that they attack you for absoultely no reason. They insult you, pick on you, hate you, degrade you, attack you, flame you, and try to make you look horrible for no other reason than just to be a jerk to others.

In this Christian forum, I never feel like that. I can post anything from excited to completely idiotic, and people are actually very nice. Even the mean Christians here are nicer compared to the random non-christian.

Atheists can especially be heartless and ruthless in their hatred and attacks because they are selfish, more likely to be rude and attack others, and have no remorse or guilt for doing so. Afterall, why would they? If I was Atheist, I'd be ruthless and heartless. Atheists don't believe in reaping for what you sow or an afterlife. Nor do they have standards such as "Love others as much as God loves them." They can't have that standard because they don't believe God exists, let alone what His Love is like. They can have their own man-made standards of "Treat others good" but that's no more than just filthy defiled dirty rags of self-righteousness.

I don't mean to pick on atheists of course, all non-christians are selfish jerks. Man is just naturally selfish. The only way a human being can be selfless is through God, and if you don't believe in any god at all, you can't be selfless. I'm not saying only Christians can be selfless, because God can use anyone, but I do know that those who walk in the Spirit are the only ones that can be selfless because all others don't walk in the Spirit. Any selfless acts ever done by someone not walking in the Spirit were because God basically possessed them and did the selfless part for them. Even if some Christians are jugemental, even hating, at least they won't purposefully, for absolutely no reason, attack you, flame you, persecute you, hate you, and belittled you just for the heck of it.

I say this with over 9+ years of roaming the internet and forums. Hundreds of thousands upon thousands upon THOUSANDS of hours on forums. Lots of experience. Christians are definitely nicer, and nonbelievers, especially atheists, can be some of the most heartless jerks imaginable.

The internet is a great tool to see into the true hearts of people, because there are no boundaries and people are free to say and do whatever they want. It's disturbing...very disturbing...that the hearts of men are so wicked as from what I've seen from the internet....so disturbing... And it brings me to realize how all men sin and are worthy of death. After being around the internet for 9 years, I'd agree, all men are deserving of death for their sin. And I don't even know the beginning of what's actually in our wicked hearts.
appreciate you sharing your testimony

I agree with christians are the nicest I personally know too :)

[Reyanah]

We are to walk in love and forgiveness and in all the fruits of the spirit so we don't fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
We need to be Jesus' eyes, mouth, ears, hands and feet on the earth and He reached out to many who the world now a days would shun.

[RVoss]

I think we as christans have a tendency to serve and love out of obligation rather than love like we need to. I have been guilty of this many times.

[whateveristrue]

Hypocrosy is the worst thing. There are many unkind and uncaring people out in the world, but at least they're honest about it. Unlike many people at church... who say they want to be your friend; but they don't REALLY want to be your friend.

[Reyanah]

Unfortunately in many circles I would have to agree with the above statement. Praying more of us will remain real and untouched by the garbage within and without the church.

[RonnyRulz]

True. But, it doesn't make it hurt any less. You know? :)

Well yea, of course. I'll definitely agree with that. In fact, it hurts more for me when it's a christian than a non-christian.

[dinonum]

I think that it is very common, but luckily I'm not into that.

I just believe in good old fashion love your neighbor stuff. Lol, I'm a big love fan, and I think I get into it so much because I think of Jesus as the ultimate love, you know? Unfortunately, the majority of Christians in the United States take for granted what we have and such, to the point that we have nearly all but forgotten that the man who has lead our path, Jesus, was the greatest love of all, and we are supposed to be striving to live as much like him as we can.

[Starcrystal]

I think sometimes it depends where you live. Society rubs off on people. I've seen some city churches where the members are pretty cold and standoffish - almost defensive. Well, that's how a lot of folk are in the city. And Clichs... lots of those too.
I've been in Italian churches in the city and lots of hugging and kissing. But that's old time Italian culture. Don't find it that much in some small rural church unless someone really knows you, and then not the kissing. I think I got more kisses from pretty girls in Italian churches than I had ever gotten from girlfriends in my younger days! :blush:
(Alright you young single brothers, now don't go running off to find an Italian church, lol)
Then I've been in churches where everyone is stuffy if you haven't lived in the community all your life. This can happen in some small towns. Then some are very friendly if the people of the town are normally that way...
So I think a lot of what we see in church is a reflection of the area the church is in, or the culture of the people.

[SUNSTONE]

We have only one enemy, and that's the devil.

If a Christian or anyone is having a problem, then the root to that problem is lack of a good relationship with God and mankind.

A car will break down if you don't take care of it, so will human beings.

[CYNT]

I AM NEW HERE-do not want to but in. I have also experienced a terrible coldness in churches allover the place-furthermore I am italian and we are very loving people. It seems as if churches are no more than social clubs anymore-and that is sad,I don't care if people come to church in jeans and a t-shirt as long as they are there to praise and love God!!!Alot of churches are very bad about making people feel like outcasts if they are not dressed right.I just pray that God changes their hearts-I have to acctually do some work right now so I will be back you can pm me anytime or email me I check it throughout the day--have a great one!!!!

Cynt--:wave: