Does anyone feel the same way?

[Raven1ner]

I hope i dont come off sounding angry because im really not, Im just a little discouraged with trying to get involved with church lately. Im not pointing at a specific church but just church in general. I admit ive grown a little distant with God in the past but I can hear his voice calling me and im just recently seeking Him diligently again. I know a christian is much stronger around other christians rather than being alone. I dont know why but ive been having a really hard time connecting with others at church. I dont know if its just me or what but I really dont think im a hard person to get along with or to talk to. It just seems like most people at church have some kind of bubble around them and their close friends and are reluctant to let others in. I understand that most people (christian or not) are not always going to have open arms and a huge smile, but im just tired of hearing, "Welcome new people, Get plugged in!" during the announcements, when its not very easy to do. Ive been a "new person" at this church for a few months now and i still have a hard time connecting with people. I joined the worship band at another church before and left because they seemed really cold and unwelcoming toward the "new guy". I probably shouldnt have let that stop me from worshiping my God but I just felt really uncomfortable. Maybe Ive just had some bad experiences that have distorted my views toward church, I dont know. But I seriously have had much easier times meeting new people that werent christians at bars or clubs or school. Why is that? Im not trying to bad mouth God's church in anyway, its just that i feel like ive been alone as a christian for a while now. I dont have many christian friends and i feel like i need that support from other brothers and sisters in christ especially through some very hard trials that im experiencing at the moment. Anyone have any thoughts or comments? Thank You.

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

agreed.

its like the church has lost God while the world draws closer. We start to see how gracious God really is and how unafraid of Sin God is.

=============

Matthew 19:16-29?
The Church buildings were closed and their placards and adverts blank. It was as if the Christian’s were missing! Because of this lack of overbearing physical presence, the World actually noticed! The Church just lived as it should, in the World. Like Jesus, it had finally laid its life down for the sake of the World. It had re-enacted Matthew 19;
The Rich Church came to Jesus. They knew they were good, the knew they were Gods people. But they knew there was still something missing. They asked, “what else should we do?”
Jesus, with the crowd of the World swarming around him, replied, “Give up all you have and give to these,” gesturing to the crowd.
The Rich Church went away sad, they thought that it was their buildings, meetings and leaders that made them Church!
Jesus said, “how difficult it is for the Rich Church to enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.
Now that nothing physical remained, how would Church retain our distinctiveness? How would we consider ourselves separate from the World if we lived in it?
Well, Jesus lives in the World, willing us all to learn and live him. So if we euthenise this dying Church body, we will finally free God’s healthcare up and free his disciples to go Church it with the World.
Of course things like leadership and meetings will need to take on new meanings and manifestations. But grief is a process that must run its course. Do not grieve for the Church, grieve with God for the World.

[Rick Otto]

I hate it.
I'm tired of people making excuses for it.
I don't subject myself to it anymore.

It always DID kinda [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] me off.
I remember bein' the new kid in 5th grade.
I hung out with the geeks & losers for a few days until I couldn't take the boredom, so I asked where are "the cool guys"?
I was pointed to a crew of a half-dozen hangin' out at the other end of the playground, in front of the church doors.
So I walked up to 'em, and gamely introduced myself sayin', "I asked where the cool guys are & I was pointed to over here.
What makes You guys so cool?", lookin' 'em up & down.

Most of 'em woulda took the joke, but Gary H. was in a mood, and sneared at me, hissin' somethin'.
So I said,"What's wrong with his face? Is it always that way?"
He lunged at me, both hands goin' for my throat.
I was pryin' him off as a crowd immediatly formed, and the nuns came flyin' outta the building toward us, screamin' at Gary.
So I started yellin' at THEM, sayin' "Aww, he's alright, it was MY fault, I made him mad!"

They hadn't experienced anything like that before, I guess, 'cause it stopped everybody, even Gary cold.
Suddenly I was being made a hero while Gary was gettin' tongue-lashed.
What a circus.

[Raven1ner]

im sure its hard for all new people to get connected to a church right away. I realized its probably gonna take some time for me. But its not so much the fact that its hard as a new person, but its just the fact that people arent as open and as welcoming as you'd expect "church people" to be. I dont really consider myself a new person anymore anyway. Ive been going there for a few months now. The main thing that bothers me is the atmosphere. It just seems like people dont want to be bothered and everyone has this dont-talk-to-me-if-i-dont-know-you type of attitude. Dont get me wrong, there are some very warm and welcoming people at church. But should'nt the majority of the people be that way instead of the other way around? Its rare that'd id run into someone with a noticable genuine love for his bretheren. Thats not to say that the others have no love in them. I understand that people are people and some personalities are not so welcoming as others, but arent we all family here? Arent we all brothers and sisters under the same Father? Shouldnt we be glad to go out of our way to make others feel welcome in this kingdom that we're all a part of? Its like everyone has this mentality that were all on our own. We're not. We're in this together. We pick each other up and encourage each other. I dont know. I just wish people would realize how much we really need each other. We can't do things on our own. We're like charcoal. We burn better together and die out when we're alone. Anyway. What do you guys think?

[If Not For Grace]

But should'nt the majority of the people be that way instead of the other way around? Its rare that'd id run into someone with a noticable genuine love for his bretheren.

For lack of a better term to say I feel ya--
AMEN!

The "church" has no idea how it looks to "outsiders" inside their bldg. It has little place for the adult convert who is considered "unchurched". I have been attending Sunday Service, Wed. Night Service and A Monday Night Bible Study group in a small town church for months with perfect attendance. Been tithing there (these folks are not a wealthy church the minister makes less than $100 per week).

Long story short--Well problems have caused us (no water) evacuate our home and stay with out of town relatives till we can sort it out. Not one call from any of this bunch re: our absence. That's no BIG deal, but it makes you wonder why they bother to go on "mission" trips and "visitation" when they don't even notice one of "their" sheep is gone.

I almost dare any of the well meaning bunch to say "We've missed you" upon our return--(Really, that would explain all the calls...is what you want to say) :)

What a fellowship,,,There's no joy divine in that part--I digress...

How would you like to be greeted as a newcomer?

[Raven1ner]

.
How would you like to be greeted as a newcomer?

Well, a huge hug, a hot cup of coffee with extra sugar, and a box of donuts with the cream filling would be awesome. No seriously though, I just wish people would act more like a family at church since that IS what we are. We're brothers and sisters in Christ. When you meet a distant relative for the first time don't you greet them with love and affection? Should'nt it be that way at church, even towards people we've never met? I'm not saying you need to invite them over for dinner or anything, but at least introduce yourself and make them feel welcome. Thats all. Maybe I'm taking it too much to heart, but I just wish people would open up to each other more and realize how much we need each other. I know this is not something thats going to be happening anytime soon and I totally understand that its up to the newcomer to make the stronger effort to get involved. I just wish it did'nt have to be that difficult, and I know it does'nt have to be. Thanks all for listening.

[If Not For Grace]

I totally understand that its up to the newcomer to make the stronger effort to get involved.


To some extent, BUT it is the evangelical church that "recruits" members. The church has to be a warmer more welcoming place or no one "wants" to be involved.

While reading your post and the references to brothers and sisters...I was thinking how glad I am that I am an only child if that is what having siblings is about. Gang Members, Alcoholics in bars, and Charity Fund raisers are more cordial than many Southern Baptist churches I have visited/attended.

I am attempting to return to church after an absence and it is more like a chore than a privilege. You really dread going sometimes due to the congregation and the politics etc.

The smaller church I'm going to now is better than First "National" style I was doing, but I feel worse when I leave sometimes than when I don't go at all.

But I still believe, believers are "supposed" to gather together...Just don't know where or how yet. Hoping it will get better. Prayers Welcome.

[notreligus]

I feel your pain, too. So many churches have these established cliques, it seems. When you show-up as the "new kid on the block," instead of being welcomed with open arms as a brother or sister in Christ, it sometimes seems much like you've just become a pledge for a fraterntiy and everybody seems to have a "wait and see' attitude toward newbies as they want to "wait and see" how the new person or persons is going to work out. All the while that attitude becomes visible and a real turn-off to new members and/or visitors.

[If Not For Grace]

a pledge for a fraterntiy


Well I did not get an offer from several--but you are spot on, that's what it's like and so I guess it's like "hell" week.

[hairettic]

K it could be worse........they could be locking the door and asking you to sign on the dotted line.I am not sure what is worse....feeling left out....or wishing you could get out. At least in your option it is in your playing field. I know in most churches there are the "busy" "popular" people. But there are also alot of others just like yourself. Just look around next time you are there!

[alourokis]

yes. I feel the same exact way. I go to church and everyone looks so phony. It's a real turn off. I can sense when someone is genuine. I just rededicated my life as a christian and am having a real hard time. I used to go to taverns and sometimes I would meet so many people. It is tough, but I am glad that I am not the only one that feels this way.

[alourokis]

my finger slipped, i hope u got my message o.k.

[mastromatteom1]

I feel the same way. In fact, in my experience, non-Christians are generally a lot nicer to people than church-goers are. I've been going to the same church for a year and haven't made any friends. Pretty much all the close friends I've ever had were non-religious, drug-using, counter-culture types, simply because they're nicer than Christians.

Most church-goers I've known are middle-class types who look down on anyone who occupies a different rung on the social ladder. Don't let their smiles fool you--what they're really thinking is, "Ew, I don't want to go to heaven if *that* person is going to be there."
The best thing you can do is either 1) keep going to church in hopes that you'll be a good example on them or 2) find a church that isn't so stuck-up, if there are any like that.

Basically, if you want to be truly welcomed into a Christian church in America, you have to show up in a flashy new car, a fancy new suit, and some nice crisp greenbacks for the offering pot. Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven... so it's really a choice, do you want to follow Jesus, or do you want to be popular? You're not likely to be both, not even among church-goers.

[Rick Otto]

"But there are also alot of others just like yourself. Just look around next time you are there!"

If you get too popular among the unpopular, that gets noticed too, and you may become suspected of sedition.

A few of us used to call our anti-clique "Trouble In Row 5".^_^

[jlaylo]

Raven,
Yeah, I felt like that before and the deeper I got depressed the more I prayed for revelation and asking the Holy Spirit to lead me to a church that finally I can really belong to. And truly, the Spirit indeed pointed me the way, Hallelujah!

Father, in Jesus' name and by the Power of the Holy Spirit, I speak Blessings upon my Brother. Lord, touch his heart and fill it with Your Love. Father, let the Holy Spirit shine forth His Light and guide our brother in his search for a church that he can truly belong with a cheerful, peaceful heart so that Your perfect will be realized and done for him, Amen!

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Freaky, one of my daughters is called Raven!