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CrimsonCryer1986
22nd October 2006, 12:59 PM
I'm not even really sure actually how to post this or if this is even the right forum for this, but anyway, here it is in a nutshell...

I have been hurt a lot by church people. Some of the hurt, I think, in a way, I was asking for, because I actually started attending Sunday services and joined a certain church because I had been going to their Wednesday night youth service and I met a guy who I liked and we started dating. But then one Sunday, out of the blue, he breaks up with me (we had been together almost 2 years.) I was heart-broken. I loved him... I thought he loved me. He called me his angel and said we were soulmates...that we were gonna always be together.
But looking back, I see tht throughout much of our relationship, he kinda did some things that I think may be considered emotional and/or mental abuse. He always acted sorta "holier than thou" and talked to me as if God was speaking through him, by saying "my daughter" and all kinds of crap like that. He also always said "God said" or "God told me." And if I ever tried to confront him and say that I had heard something different or whatever, he just became very defensive and starting a huge agrument.
Eventually, I actually started to think that I couldn't hear from God, and I believed everythinghe said because "God said" it and God doesn't lie, right? I remember one time in particular when our pastor was preaching on hearing the voice of Go and he basically said that no one hears from God all the time, and if people say they do, there's something wrong (spiritually). I tried to confront (talk to) my bf about it after service and he (of course) got very defensive, and literally said, "Well, pastor must be wrong"
And after we broke up, going to church and seeing him with (or without) other girls became very akward and uncomfortable.
A few years later, I met another (at the same church) and we dated for all of 2 weeks, but I still have feelings for him too, so yea......

Oh and also, I have been hurt by (well meaning, I'm sure) people who would pray for me at the alter to be healed (I have cerebral palsy) and we would get up and start walking back and forth (with me holding their hands)... when they let go of my hands and I tried to take a step I'd fall. So after service when I got back in my wheelchair or whatever, they (or even someone else) would act like (if they didn't come right out and say it) that God didn't completely heal me because I didn't have enough faith or want it bad enough.

I guess I wrote all that to say this, I am hurting, but don't want to bother people with all my pathetic problems, because I have heard all my life that "people don't like being around people are always depressed and whatever." I can't help it. I hate myself!!! I hate my life!!! I have absolutely no friends. I have had "friends" who end up just giving up on me, because they get sick of dealing with me (I guess). So, I haven't been to any church in a really long time.
I feel like God has given up on me too. I am to the point where I am about ready to give up too. I am sick of letting people down and disappointed them!!!

Wow this post is really long. Sorry to bother ya'll and clutter up the board with my pathetic rant. Mods, feel free to delete if ya want.

SheRa316
22nd October 2006, 01:24 PM
Well, CrismonCryer, I know things like that, when they happened to me hurt me a lot.

Lord, lift up CC and help her to find a place where she can grow in your knowledge, goodness, and grace. Amen.

InDeoHonorium2
22nd October 2006, 07:48 PM
Hey..Sorry to hear that happened to you. Believe me, many many people have been the victims of religious abuse; some don't even realize it !
Don't worry. Draw close to God and you shall soon learn that you don't NEED a church
Remember: Spiritual, not religious. That is the key.

Timyone
22nd October 2006, 09:22 PM
the boy friend bit sounds like it sux :S but yeah theres alot of people around that seem to be slightly dildued :S wont help them out in the end (sorry not saying the lad definately wasnt speaking streight from god, but i personally would question it)

i dont go to a church that does all the miracle healing, which i guess is sad that we dont see any healling going on in that way, but im not worried when it doesnt happen, God has a plan for you, wehter you beleive in poredestination or not, he knows whats going to happen, and will be with you along the way, so just keep praying that he will build the relationship with you.

i hope you dont take whats happened to you to as a sign that you and church arent a match in the end, because the boy friends are just people youve met there, 2 of them. Maybe another church will be better, but pray about where God wants you o turn up.

Morgaine1205
22nd October 2006, 09:46 PM
Dear CrimsonCryer1986 - I'm sorry for your experiences at your church, and I will pray that God will lead you to a church filled with people that love the Lord, and will love you as well. I know that churches are filled with people that will extend their hands in Christ-like love, but also have people that are bitter, angry, and do not understand love. Unfortunately, when you deal with the human race, that is what happens - but do not let the negative people bring you down. When I have encounters like that, I just pray for them, and remember to keep my focus on my relationship with Jesus and what He wants me to do today.

I will pray for you, and if you need to talk, please don't hesitate to PM me, or post. May God bless and keep you!

FLANDIDLYANDERS
23rd October 2006, 04:14 AM
It's horrific when we are judged by others because of "obvious" problems - like depression, disability, being gay! I hope the church will recover from itself soon.

No one has ever offered to pray for healing for my baldness - damn selfish of them I'd say!

Conversely, I do live in a community where we experience healings and stuff, but it doesnt make my faith any more correct or comforting! We have a kid in the community with CP, we've prayed from time to time with the parents (at their request) and the child remains as she is... this is not to do with lack of faith. It is life.

It has been my experience that the church think it is easier to pray for healing for someone than to accept them, live alongside them and share in one anothers pain, depression and joy.

We are all disabled by ourselves and society, choice and circumstance - it takes a truly discerning eye to notice what our real problems are and open up to one another with them.

You have been [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] on, I pray you are able to cope day-to-day... sorry, it's all i have faith for right now, especially as i dont know you.

Peace out.

Rick Otto
23rd October 2006, 05:17 PM
Yeah, I'm guilty of that. I almost didn't read your post, but my friends here thought it worthy of comment...

Sounds at least like you HAVE a "crap detector".
We just gotta figure out how to keep it turned on, so ya don't get so misled.
Sounds like you're headed in that direction anyway.

When I first witnessed the cops lying in court, I immediatly saw a mental picture of a guy behind a pulpit.

Disillusionment is tough nuts, girlfriend.
Hang out with us a bit, I'm the pope of this crew, and i'll excommunicate anybody that bullies ya!;)

If Not For Grace
8th November 2006, 01:05 PM
I have been hurt a lot by church people.

Meeeee Tooo!

Somehow we hold "church" people to a higher standard (seems like u should) and forget that "The only thing different between sinners and saints is ONE is forgiven and the other one Ain't" (George Jones Song).

Go to church for you...You don't have to get involved in the politics or the people to get something from the message. (That's not the way it's supposed to be, but sometimes that is how it is).

hairettic
9th November 2006, 02:12 PM
:cry: :( I so feel for you. I pray that God would help you through this. Not all Christians are like that. I pray that he would surround you with others that are not like that. :sorry: