Help! Looking for Perfection!

[Kathryn13]

Ok Christian Family,
Here's the deal: After 17 years at one church, I'm currently looking for a congregation to Worship and Grow with. The catch is, I am also looking not just for my self, but for my husband and 2 children as well.
After visiting 20 churches, and looking on the internet at over 100 more, why is it so hard for me? :scratch:
I don't want much...just:
* :preach:Good solid Bible teaching...
-The Trinity, must accept Jesus as personal Lord to be saved, Bible as ultimate authority, etc. and Biblicaly conservative practices:...-Male pastors-no baby baptisims, etc.
*Good solid yet fun youthgroups for my Jr. High and Sr. High kids.
* Bible study type adult fellowship groups during the youthgroup time so that all 4 of us can be at the worship time together.
* Within a 15 minute drive
*The pastor to not be too dry, but not fall on his knees crying either. He should have enough passion to get my attention, but not feel the need to yell at the top of his voice and pound the podium.
* Good uplifiting music to Worship our Lord and King by...Hyms would be nice, but not all 5 stanzas with just a piano. Contemporary coureses would be nice, but not sung 10-15 times, and the screaming guitar is just not for us. 4 pianos, or beautiful singing groups are wonderful to listen to, but I'm really not there to be at a concert.
*:clap:A "Spirit filled" congregation...I want to be able to sing a number of coureses and hymns with my hands claping and raised, and not feel out of place, but I also don't think it's nessicary for people to speak in tounges and be dancing in the isles, and the rest of the family needs something on the more subdude side.
*A respectful looking congregation... Dressing up to the t's isn't nessicary and can make it feel like people are there just to be seen, and I don't want to have to wory about how well I and my children are dressed, but dressing down so much that people are wearing shorts and halter tops is not appropriate either.
* :sigh:A respectful youthgroup (this part has disturbed me the most)....Ok, I understand the philosophy that it's good to have the teens in church no mater what they are wearing, however...it would be nice to find a church were there are...kids that don't wear hoodies or ball caps all through the service, kids that actually sing with the rest of the congregation, kids that don't wear "attitude shirts" to church, kids who don't use crude language in the church halls, kids that are pleasant and welcoming to my kids when we visit.
*The communion taken respectfully. The pastor should very clearly explain it and very clearly explain who should and should not take it. I would prefer a group of men pass it out, not women and not children. Recieveing it on our own is fine, but not as we are leaving the service.

It really seems like there are so many churches that have good strong Bible beliefs, why can't I find one that has all the rest too?! :help:For anyone reading this, you might want to say a little prayer for the family of Kathryn13, that He will bring us to the church family he wants us to be a part of in his perfect timing and that we will be able to overlook whatever causes us to be distracted from worshiping, learning about, and serving HIM. Thanks.

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Go live with the poor, you'll find Jesus and Church right there. Or your money back!

[Rick Otto]

I pray you find what you're lookin' for, but I fear you'll need a time machine to getyou back to the 1950's...;)

[Kathryn13]

I pray you find what you're lookin' for, but I fear you'll need a time machine to getyou back to the 1950's...;)

Thanks Rick. But I don't want a '50 church. That's part of the problem! Too many DO act as if they are still in the '50s! I just want something that's not feeling they need to be extreem on either end. How hard should that be really! :confused:

[ChristianSoldier2]

Thanks Rick. But I don't want a '50 church. That's part of the problem! Too many DO act as if they are still in the '50s! I just want something that's not feeling they need to be extreem on either end. How hard should that be really! :confused:

Churches should be retro....all the way back to the 1st century.

If there is fellowship and the study of the Word, teaching salvation by Grace and not by works, then its all good.

Why the 15 minute travel limit? Not enough time for God?

It sounds like you are being a bit fussy.

Blessings all around

Christian Soldier (http://christiansoldiers.neodemesne.com)

[Assisi]

Are you looking for the church you want? or the Church God wants for you?

I suggest you pray a little more. God may want something different for you.

ps What's wrong with your old church?

[edb19]

If you're interested in moving to Toledo, Ohio my church meets most (ok, not all) of your list of wants/needs.

edie

[Kathryn13]

Ok, sounds like a little clarification is needed here.:) Everyone is right, I am being picky and yes, It will be whereever GOD decides to place us in the end.
My frustration when I made the first post was just that it's been kindof sad for me to go to so many churches in the past few months that are so obviously not following the teachings of the Word of God, or then have blairing issues that don't seem to be being addressed. I think it was probably that way in the New Testiment churches and that is why letters were written to them. It's just kindof sad that nothing seems to have changed over these 2000 years. And then if they do have good teaching, and no blairing issues, then there's just something small that doesn't work personally for us. For example, we have found one church that seems to be where God is leading us, but they are in the process of getting a new pastor! Another one seems great, but the Sunday School class my daughter would be in was very serious for it being 6th grade...even sent home homework assignments to be done every day. I wouldn't have minded it,:thumbsup: but of course my daughter was totally turned off. I want the kids to be excited to go to Chruch, not frustrated. Yet another put the youthgroups at a different time than the adult classes so that we would never get to go to service with the kids. Nothing unbiblical with that, just not what we are wanting for our family. But see why I'm a little frustrated with the process?
By the Way, the reason we are leaving the church we have been at for 17 years is that the drive is just too far and turns off any neighbors and friends from wanting to ever go with us even for special events (yes, I know!) I think it's part of the problem of living in the Sillicon Valley. So we are wanting something closer to home that we can invite more non Christians to, and also feel like we are more a part of our actual community.
We know the Lord has led us to find a new church, and we know He will show us the way, just as everything else in life, however, He has to teach me patience through the process. THAT's what I covet prayers for.:prayer: Thanks!

[edb19]

Everyone is right, I am being picky

No - you're being discerning and there's a boat load of difference.

God has the perfect place for you that will meet your every need.

edie

[Kathryn13]

No - you're being discerning and there's a boat load of difference.

God has the perfect place for you that will meet your every need.

edie
Thankyou Edie, yes, VERY discerning I guess. :-)

[If Not For Grace]

* Within a 15 minute drive

Take me now Lord, I've heard it all..:D



Please try another approach--instead of the God "I need" approach, ask God where you might best serve.




If there is not a youth group, start one. You might best do your bible study "on-line" (Beth Moore has some good ones) and perhaps that will allow you more than 15 minute reach for God to "give" you everything you "want".

[Kathryn13]

Hi Dyanm,
I thought I had addressed why the 15 min. dirve was important, but I'll try to clarify that agin because yes, it does seem on the outset to be a strange thing to be asking of God. And altho it may not come across very well on a website forum, I'll try again. So here it is: After driving more than that for 17 years and repeatedly having non Christian friends and neighbors turn us down in our attempts to invite them to church or functions at the church because of distance, and because we are feeling led by God to find something closer to the neighborhood that we minister in. We have come to believe that this might be due to the mentality of the Bay Area, we don't know, but we are recognizing it none the less and are wanting to reach out to those around us, not continue to feel as though we are asking people to cross one more hurdle (as small as that hurdle may seem on the outside). You are right, it might be that God will end up directing us to a church that is farther than "15 minutes", but for now we feel God is telling us we are supposed to work within those confines. Anyway, my biggest reason for posting any of this was to simply ask for prayer, selfishly for my family, but also for the Christian teens of our nation.

[Killtheflesh777]

there is one called Lifechurch.tv, yes you can see the sermons and devotionals on the internet.
it is very good, very fun, non-dom, you learn the bible and get a clear message, no tricky stuff.
A great kids place called lifekids!! awesome youth team! there are only a few campuses, but their growing. go online to lifechurch.tv
the pastor is broadcast to each campus through satellite. Yes it has a good spirit vibe to it.
THE music is great to!! live tunes of great worship songs! At campus or online!disciples of christ--bless you- SB:amen:

[Kathryn13]

Update: We have now found a church that we have regularlly been attending that seem to meet most of the qualifications we had prayed for. Our kids LOVE the youth groups. And those youth groups seem to have kids in them that are seeking the will of the Lord in their lives. The attitude of the congregation, is one of respect for the church as a place of worship of GOD, on top of a deep passion for God Himself. It's a church which teaches the Bible and preaches the Bible and promotes the learning of Biblical truths. It's a church which doesn't just give lip service to loving one another in the congregation, but puts it into action. It's a church where all of the family can worship at the same time and all of us can develop friendships on Sunday morning as well. It's a church with a huge emphasis on missions. It's a church where there is Spirit filled worship, but not over the top emotion for the sake of emotion. It's a church where the preaching is deep and real, not overly emotional or dry. It's a church where there are many opprotunities to serve for all types of people. It's a chruch where our family can invite people we live around without them having the excusse of it being too far a drive when they turn down the invite. Yes, God has brought us into a church where we are feeling like it's where he wanted us the whole time. Our only wish is that there was a senior pastor already hired, but we have been so impressed with the way the church has been run without one that we are no longer concerned with that negitive. Thankyou to all who had read my original post and prayed for my family. God is good.

I would continue to ask for prayer not for my family, but for the Christian teens of our nation right now. After visiting over 20 churches in the South Sillicon Valley area, I was very struck by how worldly our Christian teens act, even at church. Very sad.

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Are you looking for the church you want? or the Church God wants for you?

I suggest you pray a little more. God may want something different for you.

I'm intrigued by this. How does one determine what church GOD wants one to be in?

:scratch:

[jsimms615]

Thanks Rick. But I don't want a '50 church. That's part of the problem! Too many DO act as if they are still in the '50s! I just want something that's not feeling they need to be extreem on either end. How hard should that be really! :confused:
It might be impossible if your only willing to drive for 15 minutes. What ages are your children?

[TheCosmicGospel]

Let me guess. Calvary Chapel? Am I close? I am surprised you did not want to tell us!

:preach: Good preachin - now your neighbors will be going too?

Peace and Joy,
Cosmic

[Kathryn13]

Let me guess. Calvary Chapel? Am I close? I am surprised you did not want to tell us!

:preach: Good preachin - now your neighbors will be going too?

Peace and Joy,
Cosmic
Actually Cosmic, we ended up at an Evangelical Free Church. I didn't really want to say it in my previous post because I didn't want it to seem like I was just trying to sell the church on whoever ended up reading the post. I would hope and pray that others in this forum would look for and find a church that fit alot of those catagories as well. I didn't want it to seem like that could ONLY be the same one I found. Praise the Lord, He led us through study of His Word, and through listening to his calling in our lives to the church we think best fits our family at this time in our lives. I hope and pray that He would do the same for others in this forum.

Oh, and yes, we do hope to be able to have neighbors and friends be able to come more often because it's closer to home and therefore one less excuse for people to give us.

Thanks again for any prayers. I would ask continued prayer for the Christian teens of our nation right now.

[ctay]

A lot of people seem to be looking for entertainment instead of looking for a place of worship.

[ctay]

I'm intrigued by this. How does one determine what church GOD wants one to be in?

:scratch:
I prayed a couple of years ago asking the Lord to take me in his hands and lead me. He did, I ended up at the church I am now. It should be more of God instead of a me thing.