Evangelistic Dating

[Krysstian]

For those who do not know what is Evangelistic Dating, it’s when you date someone who isn’t on the same spiritual level as you (lower) and you think you can build them up.

Do you agree with this and do you think it’s safe? On the other hand, do you think it’s better to get someone who is on the same spiritual level? I know there are some people who are weak in areas where their spouse is strong at and they complete each other.

Is it for everyone?

[holo]

Could you tell me more about that concept? I've never heard of it.

By spiritual level, do you mean how strong one's faith is/how seriously you take it?

[Svt4Him]

I sometimes wonder if this is the true motivation for dating someone who is "lower". I personally have only ever seen that used when someone is dating someone they know they shouldn't, but justify it by using God as an out. In my opinion, it's spiritual manipulation. You don't date someone so you can change them to justify dating them in the first place, and you don't change someone while dating in a way that lasts.

[Gidgx]

I've read about this online onetime, except when I read it. It was about dating someone who wasn't a christain and then getting them to accept Christ. Which to me sounds wrong. Kinda reminds me of flity fishing

[CrazyforYeshua]

I agree with Svt4Him, sounds like justification.
If you want to help someone grow in their faith, mentor them without the commitment.

[Amisk]

Do you agree with this and do you think it’s safe? On the other hand, do you think it’s better to get someone who is on the same spiritual level? I know there are some people who are weak in areas where their spouse is strong at and they complete each other.

As has been pointed out, anyone who does this is walking on dangerous ground. In watching those involved in such dating they become emotional involved and end up marrying a non-Christian which is Biblically condemned.

Mixed marriage usually end up with the Christian having to compromise their principles to keep them together and the children of such unions taking the easier walk in life which is of course that of the non-Christian.

Yes, be friendly but never date anyone you are not sure of their spiritual condition. The risk is too great.

[eRev]

Spiritual levels? Are you referring to stage development theory? If you are then according to everything I have read stages are fluid. A knee jerk reaction can cause one to respond in an earlier stage. Life events, situations, and atmosphere can influence one to move back or forth to the nearest stages.

If you aren't referring to stage development theory but to spiritual maturity in and of itself. I would encourage you to focus more on God in you than God in others. I guarantee there are things God wants to grow up in you. Let God take care of growing up others.

Peace in Xp

[Krysstian]

Could you tell me more about that concept? I've never heard of it.

By spiritual level, do you mean how strong one's faith is/how seriously you take it?


Both, how strong one faith is and how seriously they want to REALLY be a true Christian. My older sister married a non believer and I think that can kill you spiritually when you can't come together with your mate as two to defeat the enemy. My mother is with someone who is struggling with crack. She is very patient, but how can she help him if she can't keep a stable relationship with Christ. Even if she did, how do she know that he even want to change.

It seems to me I meet men who faith is not as strong as mines or they think its okay to sin since God said we are or have. I just don't meet someone who strive to be excellent in Christ IN EVERYTHING THEY DO. What they think, speak, do, etc, everything they do will represent Christ. So when I meet a man who know Christs...it seems like I have to always build them up and show scripture to let them know what they are doing is wrong. Even if I show them some scripture they still stick to what they believe. I don't believe in changing anyone because thats impossible, That is God job but when do you go over boundaries?

I rather meet a spiritual mature man than to try to baby sit a babe. I know we all not perfect and we have issues...but evangelistic dating doesnt make sense to me. :confused:

[Krysstian]

Spiritual levels? Are you referring to stage development theory? If you are then according to everything I have read stages are fluid. A knee jerk reaction can cause one to respond in an earlier stage. Life events, situations, and atmosphere can influence one to move back or forth to the nearest stages.

If you aren't referring to stage development theory but to spiritual maturity in and of itself. I would encourage you to focus more on God in you than God in others. I guarantee there are things God wants to grow up in you. Let God take care of growing up others.

Peace in Xp


I don't focus on others as I use to. It just only took me to go through a spiritual melt down to realize I can't help everyone. Plus while I was going through my meltdown, I lost all my friends, interesting huh? Thanks for your post though. I think that was a reality check to who my friends really are. A friend of 6 years leaves you because of what you’re going through. That sting!

[JVarner83]

I dated a girl a couple months ago. She knew that I was a preacher, and I would explain how I believed (Jesus Christ).

I dated her without laying judgement on her, thinking if she was lost, then the lord could works things out, and use me as a tool to whitness to her.

She had been in church before, and was under a very strict doctrine. After about 3-4 weeks she agreed to go to church with me and hear me preach. I by NO means take credit for anything, I simply preached the message the Lord gave me, and I never directed it to her. I ended the message and the Pastor of the church (I was a guest speaker) gave an alter call. She came forth and was saved and dedicated her life to the Lord.

Since then we have been going to church regulary, she reads the bible ALOT, and I always try and help her with any questions she may have. I do not hold a religion/doctrine so I'm always open on any belief's she may have.

I feel the Lord took something that most "Christians" would have avoided and made something out of it. In the end, if something would happen between us, I don't think it would affect what happened when she went to the alter, therefore we both really never lose anything.

The most important thing is her Christian walk, and I always tell her that it is more important than anything else, including us and our relationship.

[Krysstian]

I dated a girl a couple months ago. She knew that I was a preacher, and I would explain how I believed (Jesus Christ).

I dated her without laying judgement on her, thinking if she was lost, then the lord could works things out, and use me as a tool to whitness to her.

She had been in church before, and was under a very strict doctrine. After about 3-4 weeks she agreed to go to church with me and hear me preach. I by NO means take credit for anything, I simply preached the message the Lord gave me, and I never directed it to her. I ended the message and the Pastor of the church (I was a guest speaker) gave an alter call. She came forth and was saved and dedicated her life to the Lord.

Since then we have been going to church regulary, she reads the bible ALOT, and I always try and help her with any questions she may have. I do not hold a religion/doctrine so I'm always open on any belief's she may have.

I feel the Lord took something that most "Christians" would have avoided and made something out of it. In the end, if something would happen between us, I don't think it would affect what happened when she went to the alter, therefore we both really never lose anything.

The most important thing is her Christian walk, and I always tell her that it is more important than anything else, including us and our relationship.


See that is different JVarner, I'm talking about those christians/non believers who are dealing with serious strongholds. BIG STRONGHOLDS! I don't judge anyone or they belief, I work for a Muslim and he is just as precious as he can be. The friends that are grounded with me, that I know is not going anywhere, no matter how I act or the things I do. They don't even read the bible, but I have faith in God that they will one day. I'm really not crazy with all these thousands of different beliefs or denominations either. I personally would say I don't have one other than what the Word of God says, but thats a different subject.

[JVarner83]

See that is different JVarner, I'm talking about those christians/non believers who are dealing with serious strongholds. BIG STRONGHOLDS! I don't judge anyone or they belief, I work for a Muslim and he is just as precious as he can be. The friends that are grounded with me, that I know is not going anywhere, no matter how I act or the things I do. They don't even read the bible, but I have faith in God that they will one day. I'm really not crazy with all these thousands of different beliefs or denominations either. I personally would say I don't have one other than what the Word of God says, but thats a different subject.

Ahh IC, I might have been a little confused on your topic.

Can you explain in a little more detail what you mean and I'll try and answer better ;)

[Krysstian]

Ahh IC, I might have been a little confused on your topic.

Can you explain in a little more detail what you mean and I'll try and answer better ;)
People who are like drug users, manipulators, warlocks (great example), lust, jezebel spirits, anger, pride, and a whole lot more.

[twistedsketch]

I choose to learn from the mistakes of friends. That said, I believe it is a bad idea because it really stresses the relationships. That, and it follows the basic premise that your SO isn't good enough and you are in this to change him or her to fix them. It plays out like that, only it is spiritualized. No thanks.

God told us not to be unequally yoked for a good reason. Instead of looking for a spiritual fixer-upper or for someone who can fix us, why not just find someone who is where you are at so you can kick back and enjoy yourselves?