fellowship at church

[CrystalBrooke]

how do you do it? Every baptist church i've ever been too (which is quite a few considering i was born and raised Baptist for 16 years of my life) always sings and shakes hands or hugs one another...ive heard some people say that it's inappropriate for the men and women to hug..i dont think it is...what do you all think?:)

[Gerry_NY]

I don't think that hugging is generally inappropriate, as long as it isn't held too long or one's body isn't too close tho the other's. I hug and shake hands and I find nothing inappropriate about it.

[TwinCrier]

If been to churches that have a mandatory hug and/or handshaking time during the service, but my current church does not. I consider fellowship the conversing that takes place before and after the service (and especially between Sunday school and morning worship). We also have occasional potlucks (like all good Baptist churches should ;)) and other fellowship gatherings.

[MadFingerPainter]

Since our membership has dwindled and there are only about 12 of us now...we don't do the potlucks. I've been toying with the idea of talking with the Pastor and figuring out which Sun. would be best and making dinner for all of us just so church won't seem so sad.

[edb19]

After our call to worship and confession of faith we have a "greet your neighbor" time. Most of us hug each other - but we're a small congregation and know each other pretty well. However - I don't love that stuck into the worship service - it seems to get a little distracting and disorderly. I generally greet the folks immediately around me, but there are some folks who walk all over the sanctuary to greet folks. Makes it hard to get everyone settled back into the worship mode some Sundays.

Now before and after worship pretty much everyone stands around and visits. Worship usually ends about 12:15 - 12:30, there are days when we don't leave until 1:30 or 2:00 (and that's not pot-luck Sundays).

We do have a pot-luck the 4th Sunday of every month, plus we throw an extra in every now and then for special occasions. That's not counting the last minute cook-outs we have at someone's house (even in the winter).

Truly one of my favorite things about my church is the fact that we do fellowship together. These folks truly are my family.

edie

[JPPT1974]

We shake hands with each other
When we are at church but we hug
On one another if we really, really, know the person
Very well!

[rainbowpromise]

how do you do it? Every baptist church i've ever been too (which is quite a few considering i was born and raised Baptist for 16 years of my life) always sings and shakes hands or hugs one another...ive heard some people say that it's inappropriate for the men and women to hug..i dont think it is...what do you all think?:)
In our church it is on a person to person basis.

I generally don't like hugging men, but I have made a deal with my pastor. Every time I shake hands with him it is a hug in disguise. He is not a hugger and neither am I.
I quite willing to hug other women, so sometimes I will hug his wife and ask her to pass it on for me.

Our ex-pastor won't let me get away with it though. He is just like a dad to me and absolutely makes sure I hug.

I tried to shake hands with one of the young pastors at summer camp and he wouldn't have any of that either. He wanted a mother/son type hug.

Some of the women need extra hugs and some would rather not. We just know each other so well, that we give to each other as needed.

Wow! I love my church family!

[arunma]

how do you do it? Every baptist church i've ever been too (which is quite a few considering i was born and raised Baptist for 16 years of my life) always sings and shakes hands or hugs one another...ive heard some people say that it's inappropriate for the men and women to hug..i dont think it is...what do you all think?:)

Personally I don't think that hugging in the setting of a worship service is inappropriate (although I wouldn't want to do it myself), and I consider myself to be uber-conservative as far as interaction with the opposite gender goes. Of course, the context matters, and there may be other times when hugging is not appropriate. For example, if one is alone with his friend's wife, the same hug would be clearly inappropriate. I suppose there may be cultural issues as well. For example, in the Indian culture in which I was raised, people are prudes as far as interacting with the opposite gender (a trait that I'm happy to have inherited). But in some European cultures, people of the opposite gender kiss as a greeting. So ultimately, I think it's important to understand that the same hug can be viewed differently by different people and in different settings.

[DeaconDean]

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are not typical of Baptist in general, nor are they the opinions of CF. The opinions expressed herein are mine and mine alone. I bear the full weight of them.

Paul tells us in several places:

"Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you." -Rom. 16:16

"All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss." -1 Cor. 16:20

"Greet one another with an holy kiss." -2 Cor. 13:12

"Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss." -1 Thes. 5:26

Hugs and kisses, not lip smackers, but peck on the cheek type, is not wrong unless the member has a cold. And it would be inappropriate to spread it to others.

I love the fellowship in my church. It may not be right for some, and I can respect that. But I always kid my wife that that is the only time I can get a hug or peck on the cheek from another woman without her being able to say something about it. lol

God Bless

Till all are one.

[mlqurgw]

Since I do a lot of travelling to different churches to preach I get to fellowship with all kinds of folks. I have gotten to know many of them fairly well and hug many of them. I think this would be a good opportunity to give a little lesson to some of you young men who like me love to hug. If it is a woman and she puts out her hand she doesn't want a hug. If either a man or a woman wants a hug they will hug you.

[HumbleMan]

We're a large church (>1200 in two services), and our pastor asks us to greet those around us. Mostly we shake hands. The men will slap backs, and the ladies will hug. There's very little inter-gender hugging, unless it's a grandma/grandpa type and everyone hugs them.

I think it's a little inappropriate for men and women to hug or get too personal in church (or anywhere else if they ain't married).

[edb19]

I think it's a little inappropriate for men and women to hug or get too personal in church (or anywhere else if they ain't married).

Hmmm, going to have to think about that.

While I'm the first to say I don't love it as part of the worship service, I'm a hugger and don't see anything wrong with it as long as both people are comfortable. In all seriousness, if my pastor didn't hug me and tell me he loves me every Sunday I'd worry something was wrong.

[HumbleMan]

Hmmm, going to have to think about that.

While I'm the first to say I don't love it as part of the worship service, I'm a hugger and don't see anything wrong with it as long as both people are comfortable. In all seriousness, if my pastor didn't hug me and tell me he loves me every Sunday I'd worry something was wrong.

I see where you're coming from. I'll amend/clarify what I said by adding this: I don't see a problem if a man and woman hug as long as thier respective spouses and or families are in close proximity. I still think it's wrong for a single man or woman who is there by themselves to get that personal. Except if it's one them grandma types that used to bake you cookies.

My perspective might be a little skewed by the fact we are a large church, and outside of small cliques and SS classes, we don't know each other on that level.

[leytonstones]

I am reluctant to hug a complete stranger, I think a handshake is more appropriate in the first instance. Hugging is ok if it is a genuine greeting as long as it is not too long and not too tight.

Blessings:wave:

[mont974x4]

fellowship without food is just a meeting ;) and I dislike meetings greatly.

I have no problems with hugs but yes, we should respect the other person. I only initiate hugs with family and close friends but I won't stop it if someone else initiates it.

[CrystalBrooke]

thank you for all the replies, i thought it might just be a southern thing:) we seem to be so friendly, everybody knows everybody and even if you dont, you hug em anyways:D (only if they're inviting, i wouldnt force hug someone lol)

[FallingWaters]

how do you do it? Every baptist church i've ever been too (which is quite a few considering i was born and raised Baptist for 16 years of my life) always sings and shakes hands or hugs one another...ive heard some people say that it's inappropriate for the men and women to hug..i dont think it is...what do you all think?:)We have a time when we greet one another with a handshake. Typically, if I know a woman well, I will hug her.

I will hug a man occasionally if I know him very well and I feel the degree of respect between us is understood - and even then, I only give sideways hugs to men, not a front hug. I slip my arm around their back and hug their side so that our sides are touching, not our fronts. Or sometimes I just pat their arm or back.

I hug my pastor, the associate pastor, and my ex-boss whom I love dearly. I can't think of any other men I hug. I have to know the wife knows I am no threat.

I like to touch people to communicate that I care for them.

[aReformedPatriot]

how do you do it? Every baptist church i've ever been too (which is quite a few considering i was born and raised Baptist for 16 years of my life) always sings and shakes hands or hugs one another...ive heard some people say that it's inappropriate for the men and women to hug..i dont think it is...what do you all think?:)

I don't mind it. If in the old days we could greet with a big fat :kiss: I see no issues with a warm embrace so long as sexual intimacy is excluded.

[edb19]

I see where you're coming from. I'll amend/clarify what I said by adding this: I don't see a problem if a man and woman hug as long as thier respective spouses and or families are in close proximity. I still think it's wrong for a single man or woman who is there by themselves to get that personal. Except if it's one them grandma types that used to bake you cookies.

My perspective might be a little skewed by the fact we are a large church, and outside of small cliques and SS classes, we don't know each other on that level.

And of course - I'm much closer to the grandma type (especially now that I am one) than the young single type.

[Taylor43]

In my church Hugs are not a problem both Genders. But it is up to the invidual

[meh]

What an interesting thread :)

We have a greeting time during every service and there are quite a few huggers :) I think that's lovely as long as everyone is comfortable with it. I am not a hugger, so I prefer a warm handshake, and people are fine with that, too.

[JPPT1974]

All churches are not the same
As they are all different
So keep that in mind!
On how they greet one another!