Advice for a teenager interested in Orthodoxy

[Adammi]

Hi guys:wave:
I am very interested in the Orthodox faith and since I began to study it I've found that if I try to stop pursuing it my faith crumbles. I can't go back to being a Protestant, I can't go back to pursuing conversion to Roman Catholicism. It's not so much that I don't want to (because at times, Protestantism and Roman Catholicism appeal to me greater than Orthodoxy), but rather that I can't. If I try, I'm bombarded with temptations of atheism, deism, agnosticism, etc.
My family is fundamental Protestants and me beginning to attend an Orthodox Church would be like me beginning to live in Tibet to them. It's so foreign to them that I don't know what to do.
Has anybody been here? What can I do?

[repentant]

Someone help the young lad...wish I can, but I have no experience in this situation...but my advice..follow your heart..

[Andrea Elizabeth]

The difficult thing is that you're 16 and probably still live with your parents. If they feel strongly against it, it seems that you should have some more gentle conversations with them at this point. Now if you were 18...

[MariaRegina]

Now where is Eric the Red.

I think he went through the same experience.

Maybe you could PM him?

[rusmeister]

You need to seek Truth.
You also need to honor your mother and father. I'm kind of leaning with Andrea on this one. Don't go dogmatic on them.
I was raised fundamental Baptist (and seriously practiced it from 15-17), was disenchanted at 17, and waited a year until I joined the military to break with the Baptists.
Of course, then I went into lazy agnosticism for 20 years, and will always have to live with the consequences of that. At least you know the general direction you really need to go. Not that many people your age do. Patience is one of the capital virtues.
God bless!

[Akathist]

Don't get carried away with trying to be all Orthodox around your family. Study on your own but don't keep talking to them about what you are reading. Tell them you want to attend the Divine Liturgy services (because I assume you need to tell them where you are going if you leave) but don't push for them to go with you. Don't announce that you will start fasting. Always eat whatever is served if you eat with the family. Don't stop eating with the family. If they will freak out keep one or two small icons in a drawer in your room to bring out when you pray. If they won't care, only keep them in your room. Some parents freak out over incense. If you think they will, don't burn it. (it is not necessary for prayers, we just like it.) If they want you to attend thier church "sometimes" honor their request. Don't "cross yourself" infront of them. (When you turn 18 and are no longer dependant upon them you can move out and do all these things even in front of them. But for now, living as their dependent, you need to be extra respectful and careful not to upset them.)

Set up a meeting with the Priest of the local parish and talk with him and let him help you navigate this whole process.

(my advice comes from the fairly large number of college students who have converted in my parish. They were over 18 but still depended upon their parents and all of the suggestions above come from their experiences they have shared.)

[GabrielWithoutWings]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Xenia Rose again.

;)

[Adammi]

Thanks everyone. You've really helped me.

[eoe]

My family thought that I had joined a satanic baby sacrificing cult. At least that is how they acted at first. My sister still acts all wierd sometimes. I had the benefit of being out on my own so I really did not have to deal with what you are going through. I agree with Xenia. You need to proceed with caution. If you do it right you might just lead your family to Orthodoxy as well. Do it poorly and you could ruin your relationship with your family. The bad news is that you are going to have to learn patience and that is a hard row to hoe especially for a young man. Take it slow. Theosis is an eternal progression and no one cares who is where on the path, the important thing is that you are on the path. Whatever you do - do not make any attempts to measure your progress - that = bad.

I also know about the difference of "I don't want to" and "I can't". Rabid antelopes with guns could not drag me back to protestantism.

[Jacob4707]

Have you read A TINY STEP AWAY FROM DEEPEST FAITH by Marjorie Corbman? Only $10 retail.

http://www.marjoriecorbman.com/templates/System/default.asp?id=32210

She was (and still is? or maybe she is now 20) a teenager who, after being raised Jewish and going through atheism, wicca, paganism, etc., became Orthodox. She attends a Catholic college.

Her livejournal page: http://daphneisgood.livejournal.com/

Her book won't answer your questions but you will enjoy reading it.

[Oblio]

Don't announce that you will start fasting. Always eat whatever is served if you eat with the family. Don't stop eating with the family.


BTW, this applies at every age. I once made the mistake of kindly refusing part of a meal prepared by my mother. :eek: Now when she asks if I am fasting, I say yes, but not to make anything special for us, and I eat what is put in front of me. She usually interprets fasting as meaning no meat so there is usually other non-fast items (cheese/eggs) that are on the table. If she doesn't ask, I don't tell, and I simply give thanks and eat what she prepared for me.

[rusmeister]

Rabid antelopes with guns could not drag me back to protestantism.

Rabid antelopes with guns would be too busy trying to hold the guns to drag you.... ;)

[Shubunkin]

I really feel for you, but the good thing is you can be as Orthodox around here as you wish. :)

[ModernDaySpyridon]

Well, any advice I could give you is second hand, because my family is pretty much OK with my wife and I becoming Orthy, but try explaining to you father-in-law, who doesn't think that Lutherans are Christians and that the Pope is the Antichrist, why you named his new granddaughter "Adella Philothei"....:sorry:

Yeah...awkward.

Anyway, I can't add much onto what everyone else has said, just that sometimes lying low is the best option. I know, I know, our evangelical upbringings sell us that we have to be "bold" and "stand up for our faith" and that if we don't we are being lukewarm.

But you don't have to be. Continue to love them, seek out times of solitude and quiet, and most of all, give yourself room to make mistakes. Your not perfect, but God is in the process, in partnership with us, of making us perfect, and the best place to start is with honesty.

Your doing the right stuff man, just quietly serve God, and he will take care of you, even though we don't always know what that looks like.

May the Lord bless and protect you.

[HandmaidenOfGod]

My family is fundamental Protestants and me beginning to attend an Orthodox Church would be like me beginning to live in Tibet to them. It's so foreign to them that I don't know what to do.
Has anybody been here? What can I do?

Tell your parents you want to move to Tibet, and when they freak out say "Just kidding! I just want to go to an Orthodox Church." :sorry: ^_^

As others have suggested, until you're eighteen, (or can at least drive by yourself) I'd suggest limiting your pursuit of Orthodoxy to reading books, and perhaps emailing the priest of a local parish.

Hope this helps,

Maureen

[Adammi]

Tell your parents you want to move to Tibet, and when they freak out say "Just kidding! I just want to go to an Orthodox Church." :sorry: ^_^

As others have suggested, until you're eighteen, (or can at least drive by yourself) I'd suggest limiting your pursuit of Orthodoxy to reading books, and perhaps emailing the priest of a local parish.

Hope this helps,

Maureen
Ya, I could try the Tibet thing, LOL.
Well, I can drive and could drive myself, I really just need to ask them, but I've asked them about going to a Catholic Church before and they totally freaked out.
I pray that somehow my family is invited by somone or for someother reason is given the opportunity to go.

[MariaRegina]

Well, since they don't like Catholicism, you could say to them:



Well, you will be pleased to know that I'm not looking into Catholicism anymore.

but the bad news is that I have been considering Eastern Religions ... like Tibet

However, the good news is that I have found an Eastern flavor of Christianity and this Christianity is found in the Holy Land.


Actually, I did try this on my parents (of course, I was an adult), and my dad was thrilled.

[Petronius]

Bump.

Maybe BlackMichael can give some pieces of advice...

[Jacob4707]

Hi guys:wave:
I am very interested in the Orthodox faith and since I began to study it I've found that if I try to stop pursuing it my faith crumbles. I can't go back to being a Protestant, I can't go back to pursuing conversion to Roman Catholicism. It's not so much that I don't want to (because at times, Protestantism and Roman Catholicism appeal to me greater than Orthodoxy), but rather that I can't. If I try, I'm bombarded with temptations of atheism, deism, agnosticism, etc.
My family is fundamental Protestants and me beginning to attend an Orthodox Church would be like me beginning to live in Tibet to them. It's so foreign to them that I don't know what to do.
Has anybody been here? What can I do?

Just curious, and maybe this might generate some responses/answers/help for you: Who or what sparked your interest in Orthodoxy, and caused you to reject Protestantism? Also, what things about Protestantism and Roman Catholicism appeal, or still appeal, to you? What kind of "Fundamental Protestants" is your family? Baptist? Church of Christ? Charismatic? Non-denominational? Etc.

[Alchemist]

Hey Upon_This_Rock,

Everyone here has said some really great things so can't add much! But yeah, I guess if anything there would be two bits of advice: firstly, as Xenia Rose said, try to be "normal" around your family, if that makes sense. Yes, as time goes on, you will probably get to be a bit more "openly" Orthodox, and thats great :). But there are many different ways through which you can practise your faith at home; instead of strictly fasting from food at dinner-time, which may concern your parents, perhaps you could try fasting from "junk food" etc. during the day, or study when you would normally watch TV? Of course, it is best to talk to a priest about it if you can; he'll help you and give some good advice :).

Which leads on to the second part... probably the part most inquirers get sick of hearing lol. But it is so true. If you can, go to an Orthodox church. Again, this is just my story, but I really don't believe you can learn Orthodoxy out of a book. Sure, you can learn a lot about the Orthodox Church. You can know its history inside out, memorise its doctrines, formulate huge logical arguments why other people are wrong, and you are right. But you can't read about love. You can only feel it. Even if Christianity (which is what Orthodoxy is, all and only) is the most logical, rational and common sense thing up in your brain, as Paul writes, without love it is nothing. And the best way you can learn about love, is to go to church. Listen to the hymns. Pray. Spend time with other Christians, who you can learn from. After all, thats what Christianity is about... loving God, and loving others, as God loves us :).

Hope this helps. It is a long and narrow path, but blessed is he who walks it!

Peace,
Nick