Doubting my salvation, any help appreciated

[Soldat_fur_Christ]

I've been going through some terrible months this year, and I'm afraid and I don't have quite the assurance that I wish I would have. I've been reading a lot of John MacArthur's things, and it's really hitting me deep. I know that Christ is the only way of salvation, and I understand the gospel, but I'm still afraid. I don't know. My mom led me through the "prayer" at age 4, but I doubt that I understood the enormity of what was going on back then, and subsequently through the years I kept doubting, understandably, the prayer in itself won't save you, but a repenting faith in Christ alone. But thats where I'm scared, and last night I got hit hard. I know since the beginning of this year things have been changing. Back in February or so, I had this horrible guilt and deep pain and anxiety in my physical heart, and this horrid fear of God, I had slipped in high school, and did a lot of things that I shouldn't have done, and undoubtedly, I probably wasn't truly saved. But this fear came over me back earlier this year, and I couldn't sleep for a few weeks. I cried out again in prayer, and asking Christ to come, to deliver me, and to grant me forgiveness of my sins, but I still doubted anyway. I want to goto Bob Jones in January, and was thinking about the ministry, but again I don't want to make myself think I'm saved, when I'm not. I noticed that I started to hate driving over the speed limit, and was wondering if mas*** (you know the word) was a sin or not. But I'm getting worked up because last night, I prayed (if God does answer prayers of unsaved people) and asked, if I'm not truly saved, then please allow me to have a panic attack, and to allow my physical heart to be hit with adrenaline. Sure enough, a second later, my physical heart was hit with adrenaline, and I fell into this deep dread, and fear. I started panicking, and I've been upset all day so far. I could barely sleep last night, having this fear that I may not be truly redeemed. I don't want to goto Hell, I know I'm a sinner, and I know I can only be saved by God's grace, but I'm afraid! Do you think God really answered that to show I'm not really saved? I want to be sincere in my prayers, and I really want to repent, and I think I have a geuine attitude of repetence, but I just don't know! I just don't know if I've given it my all you know?

[GordonSlocum]

Your frustration and youth are real. Reading John Macarthur books on Salvation will "screw your mind up". Get rid of his books on Salvation.

His stuff is dangerous to the mind and will cause you confusion for a long time. Wait until you are settled in your faith before you pick up his books again.

Masturbation in men is generally a common event at one or the other time in a male's life. The real sin is lust. You are young and your hormones are raging. They are real. If you are having a real big problem with Masturbating you need to do the following.

Stop going anywhere that tempts you. You know all the places you go and can go to that tempt you. Avoid them at all cost. Turn you head and walk the other way. Don't go anywhere where there are magazine racks and stay off the internet except in front of your parents or in the open.

Find a close Christian Pal and confess and hold each other accountable. Call each other often, read God's word together and discuses and pray. Read Good Books by credible leaders in the Christian movement on your problems and doubts but stay away form John Macarthur books until you have overcome this doubt and have matured more. His material is worth reading but your are not ready for it.

Let me add: You do not need to be at home when there is no one there and if there is someone there stay out of the bathroom and bedroom. Get a job or two jobs, find activity to keep you busy form sun up to sundown. Don't be idle. Do whatever it takes to stay very, very busy and exhaust yourself so at the end of the day your are ready for bed. We men, all of us are designed to stay busy, balanced, and open. If you will do these things you will win the battles you are fighting.

If you want call me I will send you my number - will be glad to counsel you on the phone.

Have you considered Liberty University?

God Bless



My name is Gordon I am 58 just in case you wonder and I have two theological degrees.

[MagusAlbertus]

I've been going through some terrible months this year, and I'm afraid and I don't have quite the assurance that I wish I would have. I've been reading a lot of John MacArthur's things, and it's really hitting me deep. I know that Christ is the only way of salvation, and I understand the gospel, but I'm still afraid. I don't know. My mom led me through the "prayer" at age 4, but I doubt that I understood the enormity of what was going on back then, and subsequently through the years I kept doubting, understandably, the prayer in itself won't save you, but a repenting faith in Christ alone. But thats where I'm scared, and last night I got hit hard. I know since the beginning of this year things have been changing. Back in February or so, I had this horrible guilt and deep pain and anxiety in my physical heart, and this horrid fear of God, I had slipped in high school, and did a lot of things that I shouldn't have done, and undoubtedly, I probably wasn't truly saved. But this fear came over me back earlier this year, and I couldn't sleep for a few weeks. I cried out again in prayer, and asking Christ to come, to deliver me, and to grant me forgiveness of my sins, but I still doubted anyway. I want to goto Bob Jones in January, and was thinking about the ministry, but again I don't want to make myself think I'm saved, when I'm not. I noticed that I started to hate driving over the speed limit, and was wondering if mas*** (you know the word) was a sin or not. But I'm getting worked up because last night, I prayed (if God does answer prayers of unsaved people) and asked, if I'm not truly saved, then please allow me to have a panic attack, and to allow my physical heart to be hit with adrenaline. Sure enough, a second later, my physical heart was hit with adrenaline, and I fell into this deep dread, and fear. I started panicking, and I've been upset all day so far. I could barely sleep last night, having this fear that I may not be truly redeemed. I don't want to goto Hell, I know I'm a sinner, and I know I can only be saved by God's grace, but I'm afraid! Do you think God really answered that to show I'm not really saved? I want to be sincere in my prayers, and I really want to repent, and I think I have a geuine attitude of repetence, but I just don't know! I just don't know if I've given it my all you know?
you are saved when you put your full trust for salvation faithfully the hands of Christ. Thinknig you can un-earn that is an amount of pride you should repent of. You are bought at a price, you are not your own any more, stop thinking you are.

sanctification is a process, everyone stumbles and hopefully everyone gets back up. being knocked down by the enemy doesn't chang that you have in you the ceed of God.

[mesue]

I need to add, as a nurse we tend to zero right in on any physical changes, the adrenaline rush didn't necessarily come from God. It could have came from Satan. Satan would like nothing better than to have you confused, doubting God and your salvation, have you feeling guilty, separating you from God, and have you not turn to God. Guilt freezes people in their tracks and makes them feel so ashamed that they feel unworthy to go to God with their feelings. Thus separating them from God.

[mont974x4]

Simply because you are concerned is encouraging to me. I don't think an unsaved person would even be concerned about it because they probably wouldn't even be aware of the relationship.

[Soldat_fur_Christ]

Well, let me go in deeper, I rushed on making that post during my lunch from work.

During High School, I fell into the high school crowd, I never got to the point of partying all the time, or smoking or anything. But I'm ashamed to say I got into sexual contact quite a few times. Subsequently, masturbation, obviously fit in with it too, and the sexual thoughts along with that. I also swore a lot too, and the like.

I started college last fall, at a local university, and it seems like I hit a real low point, I had a bio class, my second semester, and I started doubting about God, and the bible, and was starting to wonder if Ghosts really existed, etc... (I was getting a little too curious with the evp stuff, not that I was doing it, but the tv shows I was watching)

Back in february or so, I got John MacArthur's book, Battle for the beginning, Creation, Evolution, and the Bible, and read through it. It was good.

Sometime around that period was when I started to get that paralyzing guilt fear at night, that I mentioned earlier, I went through a rough period with that. At first I was thinking it was demonic in nature.... but I don't know... I had this horrible fear, and guilt, and it seemed like at times during the night something was watching me, or trying to push down on me??? (Sleep paralysis?)

But I really think it was God calling me, and getting me back on track... I prayed to receive Christ again, in march, and it seems like things were changing since then... I stopped listening to all rock music (for the most part), started listening to Christian music, started wondering if masturbation was a sin, and struggled with that for a while, the lustful thoughts started dissipating, I stopped swearing, I started thinking about God constantly, etc. Then now, I want to goto Bob Jones. But the point is, is I don't want to think I'm trully redeemed, if I'm not, and thus is why I'm doubting. Then that prayer last night, that paralyzed me with fear again (Could that have been demonic? Do demons have that kind of power to do that in a truly saved person? I don't remember if I said that out loud, or in my head, understandably, if it was out loud, then they would know, if there was one watching)

But I just want to be assured, (it would be nice, if God would actually speak to us sometimes)

[DeaconDean]

One of the titles used for Satan, lucifer, whatever you choose to him is "liar."

"Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." -John 8:44

He knows us just as well as the Lord does. He works on our doubts and fears. And when you add on top of that guilt, Satan has some powerful tools to use against us. If he can get you to doubt your salvation, half of his job is already done. The Bible tells us:

"But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:" -2 Cor 1:9

The writer of Hebrews said this:

"And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me." -Heb. 2:13

We must trust in Him. Regardless of what Satan puts in our minds, faith in Him will see us to the end.

When those doubts and fears come upon you remember this:

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Pet. 5:7

I also realize the being younger, sex and all that it entails, is a powerful draw to you. Even masterbation. You must realize that masterbation is a natural facet of being a human. All of us at one time or another faced this. The thing is to not let it consume you and turn into lust. If you know a certain thing causes you to become aroused, avoid it. If walking by the gym while the girls are exercising arouses you, take another way around the campus.

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." -1 Cor. 10:13

Believe me, your not the first to fight this battle, and you'll certainly not be the last. Commit your free time to reading the Bible and praying. Find the student ministry on the campus and visit it. Find others of you faith on campus and spend time with them. There are dozens of ways to divert our time and energies to the Lord. But most of all, you must believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God who died on the cross for your sins, and on the third day arose for your justification. Never let Satan take that from you. When Satan does come and place doubts and fears on you, remind your self of Christ and what he did for you personally. Remind Satan that you know where you are headed and remind him of where he is headed. When those times of doubts and fears come, reach for the Bible and talk to God in prayer. As a Christian, we are instructed to:

"Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord," -2 Cor 6:17

"The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour;" -2 Sam. 22:3

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." -Psa. 37:5

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." -Psa, 56:3

Believe and doubt not, and trust in Him.

God Bless.

[HumbleMan]

Good responses so far. Remember, one of satans most powerful weapons is to make you doubt your salvation. Sin is going to happen, because we're not perfect- yet. But we're redeemed from it if we place our trust in Christ and His power to defeat death.

If you've truly asked Christ to be your Lord and Savior, satan cannot rip you from His hands.

[GordonSlocum]

One of the titles used for Satan, lucifer, whatever you choose to him is "liar."

"Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." -John 8:44

He knows us just as well as the Lord does. He works on our doubts and fears. And when you add on top of that guilt, Satan has some powerful tools to use against us. If he can get you to doubt your salvation, half of his job is already done. The Bible tells us:

"But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:" -2 Cor 1:9

The writer of Hebrews said this:

"And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me." -Heb. 2:13

We must trust in Him. Regardless of what Satan puts in our minds, faith in Him will see us to the end.

When those doubts and fears come upon you remember this:

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Pet. 5:7

I also realize the being younger, sex and all that it entails, is a powerful draw to you. Even masterbation. You must realize that masterbation is a natural facet of being a human. All of us at one time or another faced this. The thing is to not let it consume you and turn into lust. If you know a certain thing causes you to become aroused, avoid it. If walking by the gym while the girls are exercising arouses you, take another way around the campus.

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." -1 Cor. 10:13

Believe me, your not the first to fight this battle, and you'll certainly not be the last. Commit your free time to reading the Bible and praying. Find the student ministry on the campus and visit it. Find others of you faith on campus and spend time with them. There are dozens of ways to divert our time and energies to the Lord. But most of all, you must believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God who died on the cross for your sins, and on the third day arose for your justification. Never let Satan take that from you. When Satan does come and place doubts and fears on you, remind your self of Christ and what he did for you personally. Remind Satan that you know where you are headed and remind him of where he is headed. When those times of doubts and fears come, reach for the Bible and talk to God in prayer. As a Christian, we are instructed to:

"Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord," -2 Cor 6:17

"The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour;" -2 Sam. 22:3

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." -Psa. 37:5

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." -Psa, 56:3

Believe and doubt not, and trust in Him.

God Bless.

Just saying Amen. God Bless Very Good advice