I find it difficult......

[Wufei]

I have been married just about a year and have a 5month old son. We recently just moved out of my wifes mothers into our own flat and things have seem to be going down hill

Seems my wife wants to go back to her mums cos she misses talking to her about me and my mother. Who she thinks has it in for her cos we had michael our son.

Money is tight just manage to get by every month several bills outstanding but thats due to the fact she cant seem to find work atm :( not for the weant of trying. Hardly manage to go out and spend time.

She says I have changed since moving out and that i have become selfish arrogaant and self centered....... When I ask what she means its just get all the time.

I mentioned one thing to her mum about the fact that she was feeling low and when i got back home tonihgt she moaned and me for going behind her back and telling her mum she was depresseed.

I see her mum as a backstabber I try and be nice and talk to her about everything but she doesnt keep quiet if i say something or she tries to blow it up into this arguement between me and my wife. SHe bought a car for my wifes 19th birthday and last year I took ove r the payment for it... great birthday present so to pay the rent/tax/birthday present £122........ I just feel she is trying to push us apart to get her daughter back to live with her cos she cant cope. THey are batist. I am only newly christian and get baptised on the 3rd september.

I feel I cant win whatever I do. I try nad be there and I try and let god sort it out and pray everynight to help me find myself again. I just need a little advice and prays.

I want to get baptisted and enjoy the feeling i get sometimes when in church spine tingling warmth I just not sure how to listen and control my future with god.



THanx for listening

Michael

[FallingWaters]

Wow! That is a complicated situation. I know nobody's perfect but I don't see how you can possibly be as bad as you say your wife thinks you are.

Father God, I pray for Michael right now that You would lead him and guide him into all the truth for his family. I pray that You would cause his new life in Christ to firmly take root in his heart. I pray Father that You would provide someone at their church who is respected by all parties, to provide wise and godly counsel for this young family.

I pray You would convict the mother of inappropriately butting into her childrens' lives. I pray You would convict the daughter of needing to cut the apron strings. I pray You would give Michael the confidence he needs to know what the right things are to do and to do them.

Michael, I am so sad about the way you have described this "Baptist" family: backstabbing, gossiping, controling, manipulating. It doesn't seem to be a very good example for you.

How long did you know your wife before you were married? One secret about people is that whatever they accuse you of, they are probably doing the same things themselves. So when she calls you selfish and self-centered, it's because she wants her own selfish way- not yours. She's only 19. She obviously has a lot of growing up to do.

You need the wise and godly counsel of a man in your church who you all respect and trust. God be with you.

I celebrate with you in your new life in Christ and your baptism!

[arunma]

Sorry to hear about all this Michael. I will certainly pray for you also.

[JPPT1974]

Praying for you Michael
God bless you!
Just lean on the Lord to help you
He can only make the impossible possible
Sorry with what you are going through!
:groupray: :amen:

[MagusAlbertus]

Forget the language, the mom, the car, the money: she’s your wife, forgive and forget entirely *even though she may not*

“selfish arrogaant and self centred”
If she says that you are that way, then you are! It’s her perceptions that matter so don’t argue what she sees, CHANGE what you do that makes her see that~!

Lay down your life for her, that is every bit of every part of everything you do now needs to be about loving her. Wakeup in the morning and re-commit yourself to loving her and loving the Lord.

“she cant seem to find work”
Wash windows, mop floors, flip burgers… I know in most places in the sates if you’re older than 20 and want to work flipping burger’s you’ll get the job. Work, doing anything moral, to help support her: that’s what man that deserves his wife does.

“I feel I cant win whatever I do.”
You’re a baby in Christ, it takes time to develop the spiritual strength to lift up a whole family so in you this situation is impossible; but if you humbly lean on Love through Christ you will be lifted through this by grace. I know your trying… stop trying to do this under your power and just lean humbly on Christ.

You got married because you got her pregnant: which means though somewhat irresponsible you’re of good character, thank you for being a man.

She’s significantly younger than you: don’t take advantage of that and understand she still has many childish characteristics.

and you’re a new Christian in England: Worldlyness is strong throughout the world, but European cultures seem to be post-religion, don’t give in to the dark-powers trying to tear you apart right now but put on the full armor of God. *Ephesians chapter 6 verses 11 through 18*
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=eph%206:%2011-18;&version=76;

“not sure how to listen and control my future”
You have to give it up to God. “oh the burdens we needlessly bear because we don’t go to God in prayer”

[Wufei]

thank you for helping.
SOrry she is 21. We where getting married in the april 06 but we got carried away and said stuff this and if it was going ot happen it would. She was on a jag to stop her from producing eggs and it was messing her upo inside and all stuff.

How do I lean all to christ?

Must tell you before I met here I had felt deja vu (beofre i became a christian) I had beleived in something heaven/hell. THe first day I met here in GLasgow was marvoulous I had felt I knew everything was good and I knew what was happening before i got there. several appempts it took me to get there to see her one day. Train delays ended up on the bus and paying a fortune just to be with her. I knew I loved her before I met her so to speak. Its been really great and its only in last 1-2months that the problem with me since moving.

[MagusAlbertus]

I can see you love her, that is awesome.



How do I lean all to christ?




By loving; Loving in a way that isn’t for your own good but for the good of the person you love. Have hope that the good future you don’t see will come through, have faith that God is working for his Glory in this situation.

Love your wife in the same way Jesus loved you. Take every moment in your life that you live for you and spend those moments living for Christ and in that living for your wife.

^ that kind of Love is impossible for a human to have, but through God all things are possible.

And when you do show that love pray a prayer of thanks: “You are doing through me what I know I’m supposed to so I know it will work out, thank you God.”.

1 Corinthians 13 WEB
1 If I speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don't have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but don't have love, I am nothing.

3 If I dole out all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but don't have love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud,

5 doesn't behave itself inappropriately, doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil;

6 doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will be done away with. Where there are various languages, they will cease. Where there is knowledge, it will be done away with.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;

10 but when that which is complete has come, then that which is partial will be done away with.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things.

12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, even as I was also fully known.

13 But now faith, hope, and love remain-these three. The greatest of these is love.

[DeaconDean]

Your caught between a rock and a hard place. Sure it is always hard on newlyweds to make it when they first start out, and it does take work on both sides to make it work. Marriage cannot be onesidded. It takes both to make it work. The absolute best thing you can do is to continue to read and study your bible, pray, pray, pray and still pray some more. Live the Christian lifestyle for not only your wife to see, but mum-in-law also. God never promised us an easy life once we come to Him. In fact it is harder to live for Him than to live in the world. I was much the same when I first got married. But the way I see it, if you have a job, if you have a roof over your head, if you have food on the table, then God has already blessed you in that He has already seem to your needs. All else above that is pure blessings from Him.

Keep the faith. Be that anchor for your family. Remember this, it really is more blessed to see a father in church than a mother. Reason: if you see the mother, she usually has the kids. If you see a father in church, he usually has a family there with him. How do you lean to Christ? Place your trust soley in Him! That's how.

"

"Just have faith brother." Have you ever heard that? I often hear from well-meaning Christians, "you have to have faith" or "just have faith." I've even heard, "faith is believing what you know ain't true." Well, what does the Bible mean by "faith?" How ought a Christian respond to the question: "what is faith?" Some folks say, "just let Jesus into your heart." Well, what does it mean to say that we believe with our heart? Does that mean that the center of Christian belief finds its home in the organ that pumps blood through our body? Of course not. We believe with our minds. Faith doesn't bypass our minds to make its way to our hearts. Yet, it is also common to hear some say that "it doesn't matter what you believe, just as long as you are sincere." Can the Christian agree with that and remain faithful to the Word of God? Again I say, of course not. The Christian responds by saying, a person can be sincerely wrong. God does not commend the worship of idols because the worshiper is sincere. So what is faith?

Theologian Millard Erickson captures the essence of those within Christianity who assert that believing correctly, those truths of the Christian faith, is not a vital part of the faith. He writes:

"Does it matter what I believe?' the young woman asked. 'If I love Jesus, isn't that enough? Do I have to believe all those things about creation and sin and being born again, too? And do I have to believe that people who don't believe those things are going to hell?' She is neither the first nor the last to ask those questions. To some, even Christians, doctrinal beliefs seem more of a hindrance than a help. Requiring belief in specific teachings seems to be keeping some people out of the church and even to be keeping some Christians apart."

Erickson follows by saying:
"In answering such questions and dealing with such issues, we as Christians naturally turn first to what Christ himself had to say on the subject. What people believed about him was very important to Jesus. After asking what people believed about him and hearing the disciples' recital of the various opinions which were current at the time, he then asked the disciples who they said that he was. … James Orr, a prominent British theologian a century ago, correctly pointed out that when we say with our whole heart that Jesus is Lord, we have thereby accepted much more besides, for we have committed ourselves to Jesus' teaching about God, the human race, sin, redemption, an the various other topics he discussed. If Jesus is Lord, he is Lord of our beliefs as well as of the other areas in our lives. Just as we cannot call him "Lord, Lord," and not do what he says (Lk. 6:46), so we cannot call him "Lord, Lord," and not believe the things he teaches. And of course in loving Jesus we will want to know all about him including what he has done and is doing, and everything he taught."
"Faith is trust. When I say that I believe in the promises of God, I am declaring that I trust them. It is more than a recognition that these promises exist; it is an awareness that they can be trusted and relied on. Faith is not something purely intellectual, enlightening the mind while leaving the heart untouched. Faith is the response of our whole person to the person of God. It is a joyful reaction on our part to the overwhelming divine love we see revealed in Jesus Christ. …Faith is both our recognition that something wonderful has happened through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and our response to what has happened. Faith realizes that God loves us, and it responds to that love. Faith trusts in the promising God."
"Faith is entry into the promises of God, receiving what they have to offer. Having recognized that the promises exist and that they can be trusted, it is necessary to act upon them - to enter into them, and benefit from them. I may believe that God is promising me forgiveness of sins; I may trust that promise; but unless I respond to that promise, I shall not obtain forgiveness. The first two stages of faith prepare the way for the third; without it they are incomplete."

Faith in God makes great optimists. Over in Burma, Judson was lying in a foul jail with 32 lbs. of chains on his ankles, his feet bound to a bamboo pole. A fellow prisoner said, "Dr. Judson, what about the prospect of the conversion of the heathen?", with a sneer on his face. His instant reply was, "The prospects are just as bright as the promises of God."

Live in faith and hope, though it be in darkness, for in this darkness God protects the soul. Cast your care upon God for you are His and He will not forget you. Do not think that He is leaving you alone, for that would be to wrong Him.
John of the Cross.

Lifting you up in prayer Brother

God Bless

[Erinwilcox]

MOD HAT ON

Just a quick reminder of Rule 3.3 a---3.3 Bypassing Profanity Filter Prohibited3.3 Bypassing System Filters Prohibited

You will not bypass any of the filters written into the software to prevent certain types of posting, including:
- posting profanity (this includes using languages other than English);


Please refrain from bypassing the filter by replacing letters with ****.

MOD HAT OFF

Lord, I pray that You would bless this man in his endeavors to fulfill the role that You have given him. Please be with his family and resolve the issues that he is struggling with. Amen