Unsure

[Crusader05]

Well, I finally attended service at an episcopal church last sunday. I was greeted vey warmly and felt very welcomed. The service was very nice.

But I dont feel right. The service was very involved, I had 2 books and a program and I still had a hard time following it; and I'm coming from catholicism! I felt overwhelmed, like I'd need to attend some classes in order to participate in the serivice right.

Also, I'm trying to find a church with a community my age that I can get involved in. This congration was on the old side, I was the only person my age there.

On paper, the Episcopal church seems like a perfect fit for me. It matches my beliefs and I like the history and heritage of the church. I'm unsure if I want to stick with catholicism because I dont like their stance on a lot of social issue, mariology, draconian discipline and the priest sex abuse scandal.

Please help me out, I honestly dont know what to believe anymore. I sometimes wonder if there is a god, but I want to believe.

[Tomoz]

Hey there buddy,

I think I kind of know how you feel - I grew up in a very high church anglican congregation, but after really coming back to God after quite a few years away I really wanted a community with people my age...my answer was to head out to a more low-church, evangelical parish, which has quite a few more young people. I don't know what it is like in the states but here it really seems to be (with exceptions of course) that the low church parishes attract the younger congregations. That was fine for me, and was quite an easy change because the high church liturgy didn't really work for me, but everyone is different and if you connect with high church then this probably won't be the answer for you...

For your faith, I think you just have to pray. Sometimes it can be hard to really know this in your heart and not just in your head, but God just loves you so much, more than you could ever imagine, and I believe He will hear you. So pray for God to show you how much you matter to Him - and I'll pray for you too.

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Are there other Anglican Churches in your area? Maybe you should visit different parishes. From what I gather, Anglicanism has lots of flavors of the same brand of ice cream. Maybe this parish was more butter pecan and you're more of a rocky road kind of guy.

Visit different parishes. Talk to different people. And in a shameless plug for the Orthodox Church, you could always come visit us. We have really good food. :)

At any rate, may God bless you on your journey, whether you end up in Rome, Canterbury, Constantinople, or wherever. :)

[Finella]

Hi there! I'm glad you gave the Episcopal Church a shot -- many people come to our denomination from backgrounds like yours. One problem we have as a denomination (in the US, anyway) is that we don't have many young adult members in the parishes. It has often left me feeling alone and frustrated. I agree with the others that you should shop around and check out the other Episcopal churches, and ask the clergy about the involvement of young adults in their community. Another option, if there's something like this near you, is to see if there's a local college ministry. You might be able to attend such a group even if you're not directly involved in the school, but check first.

The problem I've noticed with "low-church" Episcopal Churches in the US is that these churches do tend to be more socially and politically conservative. And you have to be able to stomach contemporary Christian music. If you have no problem with that, then look for such services -- they may be offered later on Sundays so the young folk can sleep in. :)

Good luck, I agree that it's a wonderful denomination, and I hope you find a place where you can feel welcome and supported.

Edited to add: also, not all churches use the two books and a service sheet kinda thing, many are now opting for an all-inclusive service sheet (my old parish did) to help newcomers unfamiliar with the liturgy. But don't be put off by that, it's very simple -- the Prayer book has the liturgy, the hymnal has the music. The service sheet tells you where to look for the prayers and music when you need them. But the liturgy should be fairly similar to the RC one anyway, so hopefully you weren't altogether lost.

[karen freeinchristman]

Crusader05, just a thought: God could really use you to help build up the younger membership in his church.

Even at the age of 44, I am one of the younger members of my church, so I know how it feels to be surrounded by a church family that is much older than myself. It can be a challenge to remain there. But I try to think, what if I left because I feel out of place, and another person my age comes and sees no one their age and leaves, the church will never grow younger. If I stay, I can be there to welcome younger people.

Anyway, whatever way you go, may God guide you and be with you every step of the way. :)

[Tomoz]

The problem I've noticed with "low-church" Episcopal Churches in the US is that these churches do tend to be more socially and politically conservative. And you have to be able to stomach contemporary Christian music. If you have no problem with that, then look for such services -- they may be offered later on Sundays so the young folk can sleep in. :)



This is true!! Again, I don't know what its like America but the anglican churches here tend to be either liberal or calvinist. The fact that I'm neither has meant that I've had to compromise a bit - perhaps you'll have to do this too. I've found though that what unites me to my church family is greater than our differences.
p.s. the contemporary christian music grows on you :D ;)

[gtsecc]

It will be second nature soon.
Ask someone to give you an overview, and off you go.

[TomUK]

Even at the age of 44, I am one of the younger members of my church :)

:eek: But you're so old!




:P

[Finella]

This is true!! Again, I don't know what its like America but the anglican churches here tend to be either liberal or calvinist. The fact that I'm neither has meant that I've had to compromise a bit - perhaps you'll have to do this too. I've found though that what unites me to my church family is greater than our differences.
p.s. the contemporary christian music grows on you :D ;)
Heh, I know. I've played some of it for my campus ministry services!

There are exceptions, of course. Our campus ministry is quite progressive but we have a much more low-church feel to things, while also maintaining the sacraments in a very respectful way. We do Emerging Worship kinds of things which I haven't seen much of anywhere else. We're a rare breed, but places like ours do exist, and as I said, you'll more likely find that kind of thing at a campus ministry than at a parish.

Karen -- I agree with what you're saying, to a point. I had that attitude for a long time at my last parish and I really tried to create events and ministries focused toward young people, but the parish never really got behind these ideas, yet all the while I was their token Young Adult being asked to serve in many capacities all over the parish. I eventually burned out and resented being told how much I was wanted for being so young, rather than for being me. I do blame myself for this partly, because I didn't set my own boundaries, but I think some parishes can be so desperate for young people it can be overwhelming to be a young person in the midst of that. So my advice is -- let your church be your church -- don't feel compelled to agree to help with everything, and don't be afraid to ask for what you need.

(I may still have some feelings around those issues, there. :D )

[karen freeinchristman]

Karen -- I agree with what you're saying, to a point. I had that attitude for a long time at my last parish and I really tried to create events and ministries focused toward young people, but the parish never really got behind these ideas, yet all the while I was their token Young Adult being asked to serve in many capacities all over the parish. I eventually burned out and resented being told how much I was wanted for being so young, rather than for being me. I do blame myself for this partly, because I didn't set my own boundaries, but I think some parishes can be so desperate for young people it can be overwhelming to be a young person in the midst of that. So my advice is -- let your church be your church -- don't feel compelled to agree to help with everything, and don't be afraid to ask for what you need.

True, Finella. It may or may not be a calling. Burn-out is certainly a reality. I just felt compelled to put the suggestion out there. I could be way off-base.