How to convince them...

[Quentin]

Hello,
I have had a difficult time in the past convincing my family and church brethren and sisters that I do not want to attend church. Presently I attend two churches.... one of which I brought my whole family (mother's side) to Christ through. The other church I found on my own. I am feeling led by the Holy Spirit to not be attending a Church every Sunday... preferably at all. So this leads to my questions:

1.) How can I convince my family and church group that I feel led by the Spirit to leave the church in the material sense?

2.) How can I worship our maker and have fellowship with other believers and not go to a church building?



HELP... I am in a tight spot....

--Jesse

[christandisrael]

Hello,
I have had a difficult time in the past convincing my family and church brethren and sisters that I do not want to attend church. Presently I attend two churches.... one of which I brought my whole family (mother's side) to Christ through. The other church I found on my own. I am feeling led by the Holy Spirit to not be attending a Church every Sunday... preferably at all. So this leads to my questions:

1.) How can I convince my family and church group that I feel led by the Spirit to leave the church in the material sense?

2.) How can I worship our maker and have fellowship with other believers and not go to a church building?



HELP... I am in a tight spot....

--Jesse
Simply pray. But since you are an adult, you can simple tell them. I know that I don't need to go over what is a fellowship. It is a good idea to leave. You may be the kind that doesn't want to offend anyone. Well, they just have to accept it. What you are looking for is more than a building church and the spiritual house that the Christians are supposed to meet in. Pray that you'll find it. Love.

[Count]

1.) How can I convince my family and church group that I feel led by the Spirit to leave the church in the material sense?

2.) How can I worship our maker and have fellowship with other believers and not go to a church building?



HELP... I am in a tight spot....

--Jesse

You won't! I think (maybe I'm wrong) you haven't convinced yourself yet, if you are really led by the Spirit to leave the church.

You know something, if you are not really led by the Spirit to leave the church, you'd better stay where you are. It is more 'dangerous' while outside church, if you are not told by Him to leave. But if you are told by Him to leave, you don't have to convince anyone for your (His) decisions.

As for the second question, if you are really told by Him to leave, why are you worried since it's Him who told you to leave? Focus on Him, rest in Him, and He will show you eventually. (Be prepeared, it may takes even years. Are you ready to stay for a long time without 'going to church' ? )

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

True true.

I wrote my own perspectives aboutwhen our whole church did what you are describing... if you want to take a peek, please do...

www.enginecreations.com/unseenchurch (http://www.enginecreations.com/unseenchurch)

My own favourite quotes regarding wy my hurch went unchurched are;

Mathew 19v21ish: The story of the rich man. Essentially Jesus told him to give up everything in order to obey God... so i replace Rich Man with Rich Church and apply Jesus advice to EVERYTHING - meetings, leaders, jargon, dualism...

1 Peter 2v9: the priesthood of all believers.

Also about being IN the world but not OF it. Can't find the pasage though!

Essentially, leaving the dying zombie-corpse of the church is a prophetic act, one done because of Jesus and the World. And so I wouldnt seek to convert those who remain (who God may even have called to remain). Know your own reasons and gain strength from th odd verse here and there, but I wouldnt seek to proof-text. We seek church with the world because of christs love and in recognition that maybe th church has lost its christ and the world is finding him!

peace out

[TheAJKMan]

I too would urge caution in this decision. Not becuase I necessarily think it is a wrong one, just that I would urge you to be sure that it IS the right one for you. SHould you be convinced that it is, tell whom you feel led to tell, tell no-one else. And then leave. You have no need to explain yourself to anyone. Here's a thought, Jesus had 12 disciples that he called out of their usual lives and had intenese fellowship/teaching with them. Yet even He had need of withdrawing from His "church" to have time alone with His Abba Father. This may just be God calling you out to have a time alone with Him that He can teach and inculcate certain things/values in you vbefore sending you back into that most dangerous of battlefields.

TheAJKMan

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Hey Jesse. Not sure if I'll be banned for what I've pulled recently around these parts... if I am, do keep in touch. MSN me when u see me or Email... we havent caught each other online yet when practical... so emailing may help this along the way!

See you soon if u sill wat some chat. Laters. Flan.

[Rick Otto]

Just be a good example/witness.
Don't try to to do the Holy Spirit's job.

We can be victimized by our own presumptions.

[Quentin]

Hey Jesse. Not sure if I'll be banned for what I've pulled recently around these parts... if I am, do keep in touch. MSN me when u see me or Email... we havent caught each other online yet when practical... so emailing may help this along the way!

See you soon if u sill wat some chat. Laters. Flan.

Send me an IM sometime Flan. You know my number (so to speak). ;)

[TheAJKMan]

We can be victimized by our own presumptions.

More like they'll jump up and bite you in the rear. But you made a good point Fland, this is one of those situations that one must really let go and let God. Also remember patience.

TheAJKMan

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Indeedily doodily doo.... why the riot shield AJ?

[TheAJKMan]

Indeedily doodily doo.... why the riot shield AJ?

Well, all to often I've been stoned or flamed by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for opening my mouth, or asking the akward and difficult questions. Or for disagreeing with them, especially those in leadership positions :) THat's the reason for the helmet WITH faceguard as well ;) *ng*

TheAJKMan

[Quentin]

Well either way they are accepting the fact I want to find God my own way. However I still have mom to work with. She wants me to go to Church once a month for communion. Perhaps that is not too much to ask...

[New_Wineskin]

Well either way they are accepting the fact I want to find God my own way. However I still have mom to work with. She wants me to go to Church once a month for communion. Perhaps that is not too much to ask...

I would say that it *is* too much to ask depending on the reason *why* she wants that of you . One could say that those certain Jews wanting the Gentiles to be circumcized wasn't too much to ask ( certainly not for the females as they weren't on the list ;) ) . But , Paul was adamant about it . In for an inch - in for a mile .

How does *your* "going to church" or *your* having "communion" affect *her* in any way ?

However , it is your call . You could look at it as doing her a favor to cash in on later . In the future , you could ask her to do things holding the once a month thing hostage if she doesn't comply . :) Just a thought .

[Quentin]

I would say that it *is* too much to ask depending on the reason *why* she wants that of you . One could say that those certain Jews wanting the Gentiles to be circumcized wasn't too much to ask ( certainly not for the females as they weren't on the list ;) ) . But , Paul was adamant about it . In for an inch - in for a mile .

How does *your* "going to church" or *your* having "communion" affect *her* in any way ?

However , it is your call . You could look at it as doing her a favor to cash in on later . In the future , you could ask her to do things holding the once a month thing hostage if she doesn't comply . :) Just a thought .
Well said post wineskin. It made me think. I dont know why she wants me to go church for communion. She claims its because I dont have enough social stuff in my life, which I disagree with.....

[.tink.]

If the Holy Spirit told you to leave, going for communion isn't advisable.

[New_Wineskin]

Well said post wineskin. It made me think. I dont know why she wants me to go church for communion. She claims its because I dont have enough social stuff in my life, which I disagree with.....

Yeah . That's just it ... church does not equal "social stuff" ( in most groups , anyway as usually only one person does most of the speaking and everyone faces that one person ) . Nor does communion equal "social stuff" . If she wantyed you to have more social stuff , she could invite you to dinner with a few other people . In that way , you would have a real chance with interaction .:scratch:

[Quentin]

What really makes me wonder is why she thinks I don't have enough social interaction but at the same time says I need more of it... ???

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

I'm with Jesus, smash down the Temple!!!

But I can't be bothered to rebuild it in 3 days time... I'll be down the pub ;)

[Quentin]

I'm with Jesus, smash down the Temple!!!

But I can't be bothered to rebuild it in 3 days time... I'll be down the pub ;)
So how should I talk to mum about this?

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

LOL. Sorry mate, I was on a run!

My tuppence would be this; talk to her about why she values your participation in a Communion meal meeting.

I suggest this because ideas of socialness are out of place in such a setting, as social gatherings can be far more meaningful in and of themselves.... communion is primarily a personal response to God and a call to right wrongs between people, not for a good natter!

If holyspirit is teaching you of more implicit ways of God then communion too becomes implicit. If she cannot grasp this, no amount of reasoning will ever convince her. For some people they never see beyond a label they wish to apply to people like us, nor are they able to understand something from our perspective. But love and acceptance should always be, regardless of sympathy!

You may wish to ask someone about Fowlers Stages of Faith.... they helped me get a better grasp on why some people (particularly christians) never seem to change or see something from another point of view.

[JFox1]

I've tried to convince my Mom to go to church. She used to attend the Evangelical United Brethen Church when she was a kid. She quit going to church for a while, then she visited a church in Ohio (I don't know which denomination it was) and she said she got a very cold reception while there and didn't go to church again.

I still pray for her each Sunday. I also send her devotional booklets and my church's worship bulletins. She recently bought a daily Bible in the NIV and has been reading it. Thanks be to God! But she still doesn't want to go to church. She said she doesn't want to get involved in "church politics."

[New_Wineskin]

She recently bought a daily Bible in the NIV and has been reading it. Thanks be to God!

Why is that ?:scratch:

[JFox1]

Why is that ?:scratch:

I don't know, but I'm glad she's reading the Bible again. She used to say it had a "lot of junk."

[New_Wineskin]

I don't know, but I'm glad she's reading the Bible again. She used to say it had a "lot of junk."

I meant ... why "Thanks be to God" because she bought one and was reading it ?

[discernomatic]

Well, all to often I've been stoned or flamed by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for opening my mouth, or asking the akward and difficult questions. Or for disagreeing with them, especially those in leadership positions :) THat's the reason for the helmet WITH faceguard as well ;) *ng*

TheAJKMan

Ha! Ha! Maybe I ought to get me a helmet too, or at least a shield. :thumbsup:

Seriously, back to the OP.

I think that needing to go to church would depend on why you want to go. I go to meet with other Christians and discuss scripture, which I can't do with the non-Christians that I know. I want to have friends that share the same Christian interests, love of the Lord, the willingness to serve him, improvement of character, the wish to grow in Godly wisdom. All of this can be done outside of a church, and often better, because there is no format that has to be followed, more time, and more one-to-one contact.

If I were you, Jesse, I'd try an experiment. Try to meet with Christians from that church, if they are the kind you want to be with, but at their homes or yours instead of the church during the week or whenever you and they find time. Just have a cup of coffee and some cookies or whatever. If they expect you to go on Sunday's too in order to be able to meet with them at other times then I wouldn't bother with them.

You could go to a bible study without going to a church, too. I go to a bible study more often than visiting church, because it is at a more convenient time for me, during the week and also during the day. If I go on Sunday it costs me a total of four hours or more, especially if I am carpooling others that live even farther away than I do. Going to the bible study takes nearly as long, but it is when other family members are also away from home, and there are no hungry mouths to cook for or other duties I would be neglecting.

[stivvy]

When we think we are being led by the Holy Ghost, we may be getting led by demons. On one of the fundimental christian acts which is church worship, your decision should be an easy one and not a struggle.

It is common to not be able to decern the difference when it is a decision that leads to a "convienence" for us.

[strikerchris0411]

Hello,
I have had a difficult time in the past convincing my family and church brethren and sisters that I do not want to attend church. Presently I attend two churches.... one of which I brought my whole family (mother's side) to Christ through. The other church I found on my own. I am feeling led by the Holy Spirit to not be attending a Church every Sunday... preferably at all. So this leads to my questions:

1.) How can I convince my family and church group that I feel led by the Spirit to leave the church in the material sense?

2.) How can I worship our maker and have fellowship with other believers and not go to a church building?



HELP... I am in a tight spot....

--Jesse
YOu have to do what you have to do. Whether or not your family agrees with it. If you feel you would be closer to God this way then try to talk to your family. They don't control your spirtual path. Though i would not look at it that way. They can give you advice though

[givengrace]

Hello,
I have had a difficult time in the past convincing my family and church brethren and sisters that I do not want to attend church. Presently I attend two churches.... one of which I brought my whole family (mother's side) to Christ through. The other church I found on my own. I am feeling led by the Holy Spirit to not be attending a Church every Sunday... preferably at all. So this leads to my questions:

1.) How can I convince my family and church group that I feel led by the Spirit to leave the church in the material sense?

2.) How can I worship our maker and have fellowship with other believers and not go to a church building?



HELP... I am in a tight spot....

--Jesse

I'm sure I won't be the Popular Vote here. But I question that it is the Holy Spirit telling you to leave the church or Saten. Sounds more the last one.
In my oppion God doesn't tell you things different than He does in the Bible and If you read In Acts Jesus started the Church and after all Jesus came not only to pay our price for sin but to be our guide for us to follow. After all don't we Baptist because Jesus said to and he was and we are to do as he did? Well he started the "CHURCH" So aren't we to follow and Be a Deciple and make more like ourselves. As he did?

[mystery4]

Jesse,

Good to see you again. Regardless of what anyone here or your family says, the choice is ultimately between you and God. Noone else can make the decision for you.

Why is it you feel led by the Spirit to leave? What are the Biblical principles regarding this situation? What would be the benefits and drawbacks of not going to church? What would be the benefits and drawbacks of going to church? How is your church attendence going to effect those around you? Is it going to aid or hinder them in their walk with Christ (esp those who are less stable in their walk with Christ than you are)? How is your church attendence going to effect your own walk with Christ?

I personally believe that Christians should continue to go to church and be active in there as I believe that was the way God designed it to help us and others however as I said before, this is ultimately your decision and noone else can make it for you. I will be keeping you and your situation in my prayers. God Bless, Misty.

[TheAJKMan]

Ha! Ha! Maybe I ought to get me a helmet too, or at least a shield. :thumbsup:


That is kinda the reason I chose those bits and pieces for my avatar.

mystery4 makes some good points as do some others. In the end you will have to face your maker and answer for every decision. If you know in your heart that it is right, then DO IT!! Just this thought in parting from me, remember that the scriptures do commend us to never forsake fellowship with the bretheren or we will die. So, be careful of making a wrong decision here.

TheAJKMan

[Jalfred14850]

There is a project about the meaning of life at www.projectmeaning.com (http://www.projectmeaning.com/)

[PolskiKrol]

You're an adult. Love, and do as you will.

On a side note, if you're tired of church services, why not come to a High Mass? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solemn_Mass) There might not be one around your area though. Masstimes.org usually has them listed.

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Well, all to often I've been stoned or flamed by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for opening my mouth, or asking the akward and difficult questions. Or for disagreeing with them, especially those in leadership positions :) THat's the reason for the helmet WITH faceguard as well ;) *ng*

TheAJKMan
i don't know all your other posts, or any other really, but you probably recognise the irony that Jesus saw - it wasn't the irreligious nor the pagans that sought Jesus' silence and death, but the religious scholars and leaders and priests ! same today, as always - the helmet of salvation is needed more for protection from religious folk than from the so-called spiritually ignorant
who may gladly receive the Great News of Salvation.

[j7muniz]

I would say ''let the peace of God rule your heart". If its from God you will have peace about it.