[Open] Jewish Parenting

[Katydid]

I am just curious as to how most Jewish parents believe as far as parenting. I have heard so many interpretations on the "rod" scriptures that it is making my head spin. Anyway, just wondering how most Jewish parents interpret those verses.

[Amora]

eeer sorry but, what?
I am an orthodox jew and dont know what you mean by "rod"

[Talmidah]

Its from Mishlei 13:24, Amora

[Amora]

Ah ok, got it. Sometimes i just dont recognize the english for what it is :).

I think Ill pass on this one, not sure what PC mess I might get myself into.

note: this in no way indicates my view or actions... :cool:

[Katydid]

In proverbs, the scriptures about the rod...

Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

If you beat him with the rod he will not die.



I don't remember the actual verses, but these are what they say.

Some people take the use of the word "rod" as a figurative description of "correction". Others take it as meaning a physical "rod". While others take it as meaning spanking but not necessarily with a rod or paddle of any sort.

[Henaynei]

I found that once my son reached the age of senescence (about 5-7) that it became necessary to use corporal punishment for certain infractions - these were clearly identified and he was clearly told what the consequences of his choices would be, and then allowed to make his choice. When he chose the path of disobedience or rebellion corporal punishment followed. Things like accidents and non-deliberate rebellion most often did not illicit corporal punishment, but something more in kind, like loosing a privilege or a special event.

I always made sure that:
1) he knew the choice was his
2) what the consequences of his choice would be
3) he was given one clear warning, but no more - multiple warnings lead to impotent threats and raised voices
4) if he made the wrong choice that we reviewed 1 & 2
5) he was reminded that the aim of the correction was to prevent future wrong choices - a warning sign if you will
6) that he was never hit with my hand
7) that I reinforced that I loved him after the correction (when his hurt and/or anger has cooled)

It did not work perfectly, because I am not perfect. But it did work rather well. AND when I worked it correctly it worked very well for both of us!

And the result is that I have an adult son who understands consequences, takes responsibility for his choices and actions and is extremely reliable! - and his employers LOVE him! and so do I ;)

[MattyJames]

I found that once my son reached the age of senescence (about 5-7) that it became necessary to use corporal punishment for certain infractions - these were clearly identified and he was clearly told what the consequences of his choices would be, and then allowed to make his choice. When he chose the path of disobedience or rebellion corporal punishment followed. Things like accidents and non-deliberate rebellion most often did not illicit corporal punishment, but something more in kind, like loosing a privilege or a special event.

I always made sure that:
1) he knew the choice was his
2) what the consequences of his choice would be
3) he was given one clear warning, but no more - multiple warnings lead to impotent threats and raised voices
4) if he made the wrong choice that we reviewed 1 & 2
5) he was reminded that the aim of the correction was to prevent future wrong choices - a warning sign if you will
6) that he was never hit with my hand
7) that I reinforced that I loved him after the correction (when his hurt and/or anger has cooled)

It did not work perfectly, because I am not perfect. But it did work rather well. AND when I worked it correctly it worked very well for both of us!

And the result is that I have an adult son who understands consequences, takes responsibility for his choices and actions and is extremely reliable! - and his employers LOVE him! and so do I ;)

If I may speak, from the aspect of a child. My parents took the rod literally, not a rod of Iron of course, but it was (Depending on the situation) a size 12 boot, the belt, or the wooden spoon. (there were plenty of handles broken over my thick hide) :sorry: ;) Mum gave up after a while LOL.

I found it very effective :D . I'm not all bent and twisted over it. In fact there is only one time that I can ever remember being spanked. Ohh I was spanked many times, but there is only once that I have remembered. So there you have it. I turned out pretty Good I reckon, I know I'll be useing the same on my kids.

I second what Henny said. My folks did all but EXACTLY the same thing. Its soo close its almost freaky. But it has definatly worked.

Now you have an adult/Child perspective. If it helps at all.

Matt James

[Sephania]

If our heavenly Father isn't afraid to hand out correction and spankings, shouldn't we follow His example?

:)

[jgonz]

We believe in the literal interpretation. I have a wooden paddle, and we only go that route for rebellion, defiance, repeated disobedience. Oh, and purposely hurting a sibling. The rest of discipline situations are handled by using logical consequences and taking away priviledges. It also depends on the individual child~ what works for one may not really work that well for another. :)

[Tishri1]

there is also the concept of T:wave:he Torah being The Rod