20 somethings neglected at Church

[SteelDisciple]

So...why is there such a complete lack, a void of ministries aimed at the college age 20 somethings? Anyone else notice this? I've been to A LOT of churches...I used to be a major church hopper...and I can count maybe 2 churches that had anything remotely geared towards college age 20 somethings...

why is that? Why is that age range so neglected? There are so many great ministries to be had there...

[billytk1]

it is not just college kids man, i am 29, the folks in my age group have kids that are 5-9 yrs old, i have a 6mo old and one on the way, the folks that have the same issues i am having are all younger and less mature, the folks i want to be around (35+) wont let me in their circle, i quit going to sunday morning bible study when a young man in group said that faith in God was like having faith that he would make a million dollars, that was it for me, i never compared faith in God in faith in my abilities, God gave me the ability to do things, but my faith in him is above my abilities, I started to say something, but the rest of the group seemed to agree with him, my wife and i got up and left, that was too much, i currently go to a meeting on tuesday night among men who understand the same as i do, first have faith in God and the Son, all things come from that, we do not measure our faith based on how much green is in our wallets, since then i have found a new church, and i am not looking back. but the church needs to not split it up amongst age, but where you are in your walk with Christ. JMO.

[Ps28:7]

i kinda know what you mean...it's that transition time between high school (still in the youth group type people) and the college age (moving out into the real world type people)...many people still view you as young and not mature and sometimes don't take the time to get to know you...i think there should be young married groups for those with kids to hang out and there should be a college/no married 20 somethings so they can hang out and grow and not feel left out because they haven't quite reached 'real world' status yet, and even though it's not about feeling like you fit in, it helps to have people around you that are your age that can 1)help you grow, 2)enjoy life with you, and 3)understand what you're going through because they are going through it also....anyways i don't know if any of this makes sense but this has bothered me too, i've seen many people struggle or get lost in this transition state (not because they didn't truely love God) but because they didn't have a support group or fellow believers that understood...anyways...so yeah

[Kelly]

My church started a 20-something service but it was deemed not in line with the church's direction and was shut down. Even though I was out of the demographic, I really liked the pastor in training that was running it. He had very thought provoking, meaty and moving sermons (He was a fill in pastor in 'regular' church wednesdays frequently).

He's pastor of his own small church now.

EDIT - but I'm also part of the mind that says, just join the main church service, why do 20's need a special, tuned service? Several 20somethings left my church when the ministry was closed down, very rudely saying that they wouldn't suffer through normal church. Should the body tailor fit for each individual? Or should people come together? I think the fellowship that occured in the 20s church could have continued in small groups etc. Leaving the church because of what happened showed a bit of selfishness.

[christianmomof3]

Our church enjoys, cares for and includes the college age ones.

[GraceLikeRainFallsDown]

So...why is there such a complete lack, a void of ministries aimed at the college age 20 somethings? Anyone else notice this? I've been to A LOT of churches...I used to be a major church hopper...and I can count maybe 2 churches that had anything remotely geared towards college age 20 somethings...

why is that? Why is that age range so neglected? There are so many great ministries to be had there...
My church does cater to all age groups. It is one thing I like about it. They have groups that would satify almost any demographic. Everyone feels very welcome.

I move a lot though, and noticed the problem elsewhere. I think it gets even harder for people in their thirties that are not married with kids. A lot of churches cater to families and the elderly and forget everyone in between.

Why is this age range neglected you ask . . . I hate to say this, but your age range is not the one with the money. Oh, that sounded terrible. I do not know if there is any truth in it or not. But, if a church runs soley on a donation basis, they would make sure that they had programs for the ones with disposable income first. The others may be left out. I certainly hope this is not the case. It is obviously very unChristian. I personally do not believe this or support the attitude at all. I would leave a church I found was doing this, but when I stopped to think about the question, that is all that came to mind. :sigh:

[Andyman_1970]

As the college/twentysomething pastor of a church (which I just joined and am building the ministry from the ground up) these have been some very interesting posts........

I wonder if one reason why mainstream churches, particularly evangelical ones that are typical traditional in their worship style either shy away from or disband 20 something minsitries is that 20 year olds have different preferences than say the "foundation" of the church (40-50 year olds) and they tend to question things alot. Many 20 year olds, esspecially those who did not grow up in church don't just accept things to be true just because the pastor said so in the sermon. I think the idea of questioning, testing, probing things is a concept alot of older people don't like, they see it as disrespectful, rather than as young adults working out their faith in their daily lives........

Anyway, just a few observations I've made along the way............

[TamaraLynne]

:wave: Hi Steeldisciple................

I will start out by saying I went to many different churches growing up because I was in and out of foster homes since grade school.I went to one church that was so awesome in the childrens section.......I was a sponge.........then i married a marine when i grew up and moved alot..........lets just say my life has been one move after another and I can honestly say........that I was ignored in the churches. Yes the pastors were friendly but that was as far as any involvement went.I am a softspoken woman and I had alot of questions. But......I wasn't really a part of the churches. I really think more attention should be paid to the younger generations. And the older generation should be ready to answer questions. The foundation of the church is Jesus. And Jesus can use any age to work through and Jesus can even work through uneducated people to. Jesus abides in us and the Holy Spirit does work through all ages.I have a daughter who is eighteen and she has started going to a new church. Everytime she thinks the pastor has put her in a bible study group for little kids she thinks she is going to teach.......but she is only there to babysit.......and she is ignored. She has such a desire to teach.......and she comes home so sad because she is never given that opportunity.But maybe this is a good opportunity to watch the older ones teach and learn from them to. The church is to prepare everyone to go out and to witness ..............:sigh: ....at least that is what I think. It is a place to grow.

Sorry :sorry: ..........I'm starting to ramble:blush:
But I know what you feel like...................

Love
Tam

[knownbeforetime]

I don't think my church is like that at all.

My family of churches has a conference for 20's every year. They also have Frontier Year Team and Trilogy which is basically four years of ministry training. This is all geared to 20's.

The group of churches I belong to is all about moving forward and planting new churches and they want to shape new leaders for every new generation.

[whateveristrue]

I am so glad somebody brought this up. From my experience, it's not about your age... it's about where you are in life. Traditionally, Churches are for FAMILIES. If you're a young single person, you just won't fit in. What do families like to do when they get together?... they like to talk about family stuff! So guess what, you have nothing to talk about! And most people in Churches don't care about you anyway. They might say they want to be your friend, but they don't really want to be your friend. Sad but true. Although it's less of a problem in large cities.

Many Churches try to remedy this by forming a singles & young adult fellowship, or College & Career group. They have the right motives... but the problem with this is, all kinds of people come in... it becomes a meat market; people start dating, and everything gets messed up.

[christandisrael]

The ekklesia is Greek for church. It comes from 'ek' which means 'out' and kalleo which means 'to call out'. Together, you get the called out ones. And we are called out from this world to embrace Jesus. We are also supposed to be a family. (1 Peter-Jude)

[jennwiln]

it is not just college kids man, i am 29, the folks in my age group have kids that are 5-9 yrs old, i have a 6mo old and one on the way, the folks that have the same issues i am having are all younger and less mature, the folks i want to be around (35+) wont let me in their circle, i quit going to sunday morning bible study when a young man in group said that faith in God was like having faith that he would make a million dollars, that was it for me, i never compared faith in God in faith in my abilities, God gave me the ability to do things, but my faith in him is above my abilities, I started to say something, but the rest of the group seemed to agree with him, my wife and i got up and left, that was too much, i currently go to a meeting on tuesday night among men who understand the same as i do, first have faith in God and the Son, all things come from that, we do not measure our faith based on how much green is in our wallets, since then i have found a new church, and i am not looking back. but the church needs to not split it up amongst age, but where you are in your walk with Christ. JMO.
I understand perfectly well about churches not providing a young adult and singles minstry in the church. In my opinion it is an epidemic of young adults in my age 25 younger and adulter who have to church hop because in some cases we can grow spirtual or relational with people. If you are called to marriage, pastors will tell you to just read the bible and pray and everything will be ok. That is not working for a lot of young adults.

[whateveristrue]

Like I said previously, it doesn't matter if you're young or old... Churches don't care about single people. If you're young and single, they MIGHT give you some attention... if you're old and single, they will avoid you like the plague. And that is just the way people are.

[knownbeforetime]

Like I said previously, it doesn't matter if you're young or old... Churches don't care about single people. If you're young and single, they MIGHT give you some attention... if you're old and single, they will avoid you like the plague. And that is just the way people are.My church must be special.... :(

[GraceLikeRainFallsDown]

Like I said previously, it doesn't matter if you're young or old... Churches don't care about single people. If you're young and single, they MIGHT give you some attention... if you're old and single, they will avoid you like the plague. And that is just the way people are.
On Sunday my chrcuh did spotlighted their 18 to 25 year old singles ministry. They showed a video before the sermon on what that ministry is doing and how it is growning. That age group has their own pastor. I was happy to see that it was growing nicely. It is important for all to have a place they feel at home. :)

They have older singles groups as well. This week just highlighted this age group.

[JulySheMustFly]

My current church is the ONLY church I've ever attended that had a growing young adults population. Kind of sad.

[whateveristrue]

On Sunday my chrcuh did spotlighted their 18 to 25 year old singles ministry. They showed a video before the sermon on what that ministry is doing and how it is growning. That age group has their own pastor. I was happy to see that it was growing nicely. It is important for all to have a place they feel at home. :)

They have older singles groups as well. This week just highlighted this age group.

Well, I am glad to hear that there are Churches that are doing the right thing, addressing the needs of ALL people. I haven't seen any of that yet, but I hope to someday.:) It could be the area. I am 28 and single, and I just love meeting people 4 years younger than me who are married and have 3 or 4 children. :sick:
Churches are for families only here. So yeah, fitting in is a challenge.

I know if Churches operated the way God wanted, this wouldn't be an issue at all.

[christandisrael]

In a church where all people are equal is a church that treats everyone as a spiritual block. The church is a spiritual house, which is called the ekklesia. That's is where the church is. Ekklesia comes from two words, 'ek' which means 'out' and 'kaleo' which means to call. Then you have 'the called out ones'. Called out from what? A family called out from this world and about Jesus.:preach:

[knownbeforetime]

Probably a factor to consider as to why churches don't really respond to 20 - somethings: Most of them are in college. Either most of your young adult population moves away to college or most of your young adult population moves to your town for college and moves away in the summer. Either way, college students aren't able to give their time as much as settled (and married) couples.

[Eikon]

Why is this age range neglected you ask . . . I hate to say this, but your age range is not the one with the money. Oh, that sounded terrible. I do not know if there is any truth in it or not. But, if a church runs soley on a donation basis, they would make sure that they had programs for the ones with disposable income first.

I dont know what kind of families you refer to, but I know mine, and those that I know and come in contact with, dont have disposable income. There is no such thing when you have children, unless you make millions.

I am so glad somebody brought this up. From my experience, it's not about your age... it's about where you are in life. Traditionally, Churches are for FAMILIES. If you're a young single person, you just won't fit in. What do families like to do when they get together?... they like to talk about family stuff! So guess what, you have nothing to talk about! And most people in Churches don't care about you anyway. They might say they want to be your friend, but they don't really want to be your friend. Sad but true. Although it's less of a problem in large cities.

Many Churches try to remedy this by forming a singles & young adult fellowship, or College & Career group. They have the right motives... but the problem with this is, all kinds of people come in... it becomes a meat market; people start dating, and everything gets messed up.


Traditionally, church is about CHRIST. If you're going for any other reason, then perhaps you should look at that. If people where you go to church dont care about you, find a new church. Dont let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.


I understand perfectly well about churches not providing a young adult and singles minstry in the church. In my opinion it is an epidemic of young adults in my age 25 younger and adulter who have to church hop because in some cases we can grow spirtual or relational with people. If you are called to marriage, pastors will tell you to just read the bible and pray and everything will be ok. That is not working for a lot of young adults.

How dare a pastor do his job and point someone to Gods Will. Whether you feel it is convenient for you or not, Gods Will will be done, and no singles or young adult ministry will change that.


I know if Churches operated the way God wanted, this wouldn't be an issue at all.

Since when is church supposed to provide you with a way to meet someone to marry? You wont find that in Scripture, or the early church. And how do you claim to know what God wants?

[whateveristrue]

Since when is church supposed to provide you with a way to meet someone to marry? You wont find that in Scripture, or the early church. And how do you claim to know what God wants?

Excuse me.. when did I say church is supposed to provide me with someone to marry?? I did not even remotely approach the subject.

I believe I know what God wants because I read His word, and I walk with Him closely. Are you saying there's no such thing as Spiritual Discernment?... Of course I don't know everything about His will... but I know enough about Him to know what He does not want. And I know it when I see it.

A church that neglects people based on Income, Age, or Status... is NOT the image of what a Church should be. It is NOT what God wants. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY STATEMENT.

If Churches operated the way God wanted them to, this would not be an issue. It is the responsibility of the Church to provide Fellowship for ALL believers in Christ.

[BigNorsk]

This can get to be a rather chicken and egg arguement. The old, we don't go because they don't have anything as contrasted to we don't have anything because no one comes.

Let's admit, it is a difficult age. People move a lot, they have a lot of major life changes and so on. And, in general, they are already really busy and most aren't exactly looking for another couple of meetings a week to go to.

Add to that that 20 somethings that are single don't tend to mix with those married very well and those with children don't mix very well with those without and not to mention there is also a rather sizable group of single with children.

There is also a problem that not many at that age are really equipped yet to be leaders, but many sure don't want to follow anyone else.

So it's hard to have a good 20 something ministry, very hard to maintain a 20 something ministry, and even if you have a very good one getting a lot of effort, you will still get a lot of complaints.

I don't say these things to be critical of those who are in that 20 something group just mentioning them to hopefully help you realize that it isn't because no one cares or anything just that it is something that is very tough to do and has really high turnover in both people coming and workers so it is very difficult. And it gets so subdivided with all those huge life changing things happening.

Marv

[christandisrael]

This can get to be a rather chicken and egg arguement. The old, we don't go because they don't have anything as contrasted to we don't have anything because no one comes.

Let's admit, it is a difficult age. People move a lot, they have a lot of major life changes and so on. And, in general, they are already really busy and most aren't exactly looking for another couple of meetings a week to go to.

Add to that that 20 somethings that are single don't tend to mix with those married very well and those with children don't mix very well with those without and not to mention there is also a rather sizable group of single with children.

There is also a problem that not many at that age are really equipped yet to be leaders, but many sure don't want to follow anyone else.

So it's hard to have a good 20 something ministry, very hard to maintain a 20 something ministry, and even if you have a very good one getting a lot of effort, you will still get a lot of complaints.

I don't say these things to be critical of those who are in that 20 something group just mentioning them to hopefully help you realize that it isn't because no one cares or anything just that it is something that is very tough to do and has really high turnover in both people coming and workers so it is very difficult. And it gets so subdivided with all those huge life changing things happening.

Marv
Gather as a family. Ministry is for all to enjoy if they were a family...

[jennwiln]

Excuse me.. when did I say church is supposed to provide me with someone to marry?? I did not even remotely approach the subject.

I believe I know what God wants because I read His word, and I walk with Him closely. Are you saying there's no such thing as Spiritual Discernment?... Of course I don't know everything about His will... but I know enough about Him to know what He does not want. And I know it when I see it.

A church that neglects people based on Income, Age, or Status... is NOT the image of what a Church should be. It is NOT what God wants. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY STATEMENT.

If Churches operated the way God wanted them to, this would not be an issue. It is the responsibility of the Church to provide Fellowship for ALL believers in Christ.
I agree with you one hundred percent. The church God is not doing is your job to meet the peoples needs. This is an epidemic, as I stated earlier. Young adults are not going to go to a church where they only see older adults and married not becoming the spirtual family that God said we are suppose to have. We are meant to be relational people not lone rangers when it comes to develope close ties with each other. We can not even reach out to the young adults in our congegration, can you expect the church of God to reach out to sinners? I doubt. You can not develope the spirtual needs of young people and get expect the same with unsaved people coming in who need help as well. I do not know when the church of God is going to get there act together.

[Telrunya]

Alot of churches are starting to see the need to address all age groups. Even my rural church of 100 members has programs for 20 somethings and 30 somethings. Heck some of our deacons are 20-30 somethings.