How to overcome a problem?

[Volume]

I'll admit it, I've been a victim of lust for a while now, and I know it's not something good and it's downright disgusting. Don't mistake what I'm saying though, I haven't done anything out of it..I mean I'm not running around doing things with every woman I get the chance with, I never have and never will until I'm married. What I mean is, it's just this mental thing, where if a woman with certain features walks by, my neck begins to crane to follow. I don't like it, but it's been difficult to overcome.
It bothers me because it's gotten a hold of my father, and thank God it's only ever been as bad as the neck craning, but it's just disgusting. And I feel disgusted towards myself that I suffer from the same thing, and I know my only way out of this is through my faith, but I ask you, HOW do I do it? I've asked others and they haven't been much help so I'm asking you all now. :confused:

[RichardT]

I'll admit it, I've been a victim of lust for a while now, and I know it's not something good and it's downright disgusting. Don't mistake what I'm saying though, I haven't done anything out of it..I mean I'm not running around doing things with every woman I get the chance with, I never have and never will until I'm married. What I mean is, it's just this mental thing, where if a woman with certain features walks by, my neck begins to crane to follow. I don't like it, but it's been difficult to overcome.
It bothers me because it's gotten a hold of my father, and thank God it's only ever been as bad as the neck craning, but it's just disgusting. And I feel disgusted towards myself that I suffer from the same thing, and I know my only way out of this is through my faith, but I ask you, HOW do I do it? I've asked others and they haven't been much help so I'm asking you all now. :confused:

lol , I wouldn't worry about it , ask for forgiveness , i've done much worse than you...

[twistedsketch]

I don't consider that disgusting, I consider that heterosexual. What's disgusting is when you mentally use women as nothing more than objects that exist only for sexual gratification.

First, pray about it. Second, read up the verses that deal with lust to the point that you have memorized them. Third, when you see a pretty woman, bounce your eyes up to her face. It's harder than it sounds.

[Stan53]

To admire a beautiful woman is correct. It all depends on what is going through your mind when you "neck crane".
The only cure I know of for all problems is absolute dependance on Christ and keeping my eyes firmly fixed on Him. There is no other way.

[Jessica Lauren]

I don't really see a problem with that. But then again it depends on exactly what you were thinking. ;)

[Volume]

To be quite frank here, I can't believe what I'm hearing. Yes, I know attraction to the opposite sex is how it's supposed to be and yes I don't want that to change, but what I'm hearing is unbelievable. Even if I hiaven't done things that some people would consider nothing compared to what you've done, I don't really care. I'm not looking to make what I've gone through any lighter by hearing about something worse. And I don't want to be told it's ok, because quite frankly something in me tells me it is FAR from ok. Admiring a beautiful woman is correct? How is that correct?! What makes you follow their gaze? I highly doubt it's a sparkling personality if you haven't even spoken to them. Sorry for the anger, but..I can't help but feel dissapointed for some reason.

[FaultySurplus]

Lust is a killer. I know all about it. You've already been told to pray and memorize the appropriate scripture. That will certainly help and deliver you in the long term.

However, if your looking for a more short term solution as well, start mentally comparing those features on the women who are making your neck "crane" to those of your father or grandfather.

I guarantee that a lustful thought will find difficulty residing within the same thought pattern.

[Key]

First Brother, Can I have a Moment of your time, as I try to explain some things.

I believe what you feel that you should be able to resist the temptations of even looking at woman who is attractive?
But then where is the worth of being attractive, your not married, so your mind is geared to "Look for prospective Mates" as such, your mind and your eyes will look at woman that you have deemed to be “Attractive” because physical attraction is the first step in any relationship. Then you go to Personality,Religion, Etc.


I would like to remind you that Arousal, and Lust are not interchangeable words, ideas or even concepts.


Arousal is to be Attracted to something in a Sexual manner. IE: After 20 years of marriage my wife still knows how to arouse me.


Lust: Is an OVERWHELMING desire to have something. IE: A Lust for Power consumed him.


Arousal is Ok, as long as you remain in control of yourself.


Lust is Not Ok, because it means you can not control yourself.


If you want to believe it is Wrong to “Even Look at a Woman” then that is your right, but if it is based on the scripture that says “If you look at a woman with lust in your heart you have committed adultery” (Matthew 5:28) then you have been misled regarding what this piece of scripture is talking about.


God Bless
Key.

[Jody7818]

I believe that a large majority of men have dealt with what you are dealing with. It's nothing new under the sun. You may have already heard the verse concerning looking at other women as your sisters with all purity (1 Timothy 5:2). But really...that's about all there is to it. That's what we are suppose to do. Is it difficult to do this? Yes...it is. (Especially in this day in age because men are heavily tempted by women who wear very revealing clothes.) But it's something we must all work on.

Something you can try is not putting yourself in situations that will cause you to look at women inappropriately. Example...if you go to the beach, are you prone to look at women inappropriately? If yes, then stop going. Jesus said...if your right eye offends you, then pluck it out. When you get on the internet, are you prone to looking at porn? If yes, then stop surfing the net.

Sometimes a woman will pop out of nowhere, and you may be prone to looking at her inappropriately. This is where your will power comes in. You'll just have to train yourself not to look. We all have choice in this world. Nobody makes you look.

In regards to the other people posting messages:

How is it "ok" to simply look/admire at a woman's "beauty"?
Let's draw a mental image here: You meet a man who claims to have an uncontrollable problem with admiring women. He said he never thinks lustful at them. What would you do if this man is checking out your mom, sister, girlfriend, or wife (which ever the case may be)? Are you seriously ok with his "uncontrollable" staring?

[Kelly]

This isn't something you can defeat or gain permanent victory over, I have to give it up to Jesus every single day. Without his power, I'd be lusting all the time. Here's some things that have helped me:

1. Remember from Psalms, "I meditate on your Law day and night"? Meditate as in "think about" - not some zen relaxation thing. Spend time in the Word and in prayer, listen to Christian talk radio on your commute to work/school. Get in a men's group or bible study once a week. Set yourself a schedule to read through the Bible in a year. When you come to something you don't understand, jot it down and go seek answers through prayer or other people.

2. A person's heart is where their treasure is. Don't put yourself in places/situations where you can expose yourself to lustful imagery. The magazine rack at the grocery store, MTV, late night TV (GIRLS GONE WILD commercials abound). If the internet is a problem, consider not surfing alone or put your PC in a public area of your house.

3. Occupy yourself - Get involved in a ministry or mission at your church. Start or expand on a hobby you like.

4. Listen to the Holy Spirit. You know you hear it. Every single time you look too long at a girl. "Don't do this". Bounce your eyes, think about the woman as a person, with ups and downs and good and bad qualities.

Blessings, Bro!

[Nadiine]

This isn't something you can defeat or gain permanent victory over, I have to give it up to Jesus every single day. Without his power, I'd be lusting all the time. Here's some things that have helped me:

2. A person's heart is where their treasure is. Don't put yourself in places/situations where you can expose yourself to lustful imagery. The magazine rack at the grocery store, MTV, late night TV (GIRLS GONE WILD commercials abound). If the internet is a problem, consider not surfing alone or put your PC in a public area of your house.

3. Occupy yourself - Get involved in a ministry or mission at your church. Start or expand on a hobby you like.

4. Listen to the Holy Spirit. You know you hear it. Bro!

Great reply all the way around. By the way, WOMEN LUST TOO! (not that I know that personally or anything) :holy:

You know, today with the way girls dress (or should I say, don't dress!?)... it's GOT to be tuff on all you guys out there!

I think the above points are good & Galations teaches that the CLOSER YOU ARE TO THE LORD, the LESS you'll fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
It's very true, I know it in my own life.

One thing that I try to remind myself when my mind "wanders":help: ... think about what you'de do in REALITY - ask yourself, "would I actually do something with this person physically??"
My answer is usually NO if it came right down to it.
You probably wouldn't (i hope). & at that point it makes it easier to move my mind away from where it's going.

But the more you continue looking and feeding what your eyes see, you're only tormenting yourself.
It's torment for us to look at what we can't have.

The trouble that sexual sin brings isn't worth it. Esp. today w/ all the diseases involved.

Keep close to the Lord brother, He wants to protect U
:thumbsup: