not that it matters

[ILoveYeshua]

hi. not that anyone on here actually cares. but i'm sad.
thanks, have a nice day.:cry:

[ILoveYeshua]

i should have known.

[ILoveYeshua]

...love.

ouch

[ILoveYeshua]

i cry out for relief but there is no relief.

[ILoveYeshua]

just more of the same. and me, alone.

[ILoveYeshua]

how can you pray for something so hard, and not get it..................

[ILoveYeshua]

ever feel like you're talking to yourself?

[ILoveYeshua]

.... well, who else will?

[ILoveYeshua]

i love her so much..............

why is it this way

why

[C.F.W. Walther]

I feel you're heartfelt cry. What do you need?

[ILoveYeshua]

why

[ILoveYeshua]

i need my love. but it isnt meant to be.

[ILoveYeshua]

and i wonder if anyone out there cares. here i am, typing in a box. to no one in particular.

[ILoveYeshua]

how pathetic.

[ILoveYeshua]

but thats what happens when you take risks.

[C.F.W. Walther]

uhh---i did post something---do you still want to talk or do you just want to type in the box :)

[ILoveYeshua]

all i want to do is just cry. just cry until my eyes fall out.

[ILoveYeshua]

what i need, or needed, was a miracle. earlier this morning. but its now, and im still waiting.

[C.F.W. Walther]

Hello!!!!---anybody home??

[ILoveYeshua]

yes, i sent you a private message.

[ILoveYeshua]

i know you want to help. but i dont know how you can.

[ILoveYeshua]

well 2 people came to look, and left. reminds me of Job

[ILoveYeshua]

except without me being covered in festering sores. and he was married. that, that will never happen for me.

[ILoveYeshua]

just more of the same. every day. wishing, wanting, waiting, but nothing.

[ILoveYeshua]

i guess that person did not want to reply to my private message

[ILoveYeshua]

maybe that person is still writing. wait, there i go hoping again. i should know better by now.

[ILoveYeshua]

maybe some athiests will come in to gloat and kick me.

[ILoveYeshua]

Luke 10:30-37 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. (31) And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. (32) And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. (33) But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, (34) And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. (35) And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. (36) Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbor unto him that fell among the thieves? (37) And he said, He that showed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

[ILoveYeshua]

went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

[ILoveYeshua]

And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

[ILoveYeshua]

Luk 10:29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbor?

[C.F.W. Walther]

You finished yet :)

[ILoveYeshua]

yeah.

[ILoveYeshua]

i'm finished. so finished.

[ILoveYeshua]

i was this |---| close to the happiest day of my life. .............. im just so tired.

[C.F.W. Walther]

OK----now---what's up? unrequited Love?

[ILoveYeshua]

of course

[ILoveYeshua]

requited, but not in the form i desire. if you understand.

[ILoveYeshua]

and i dont even have any real people in my life to turn to. so i'm just typing til something happens.

[C.F.W. Walther]

sooo-----geeezzz-----what happened?

[ILoveYeshua]

its even worse cuz im at work, so i cant really ......... do what i want to do. which is just collapse into a ball and wither away

[ILoveYeshua]

1. express love 2. get turned down

repeat ad infinitum

[ILoveYeshua]

im 26. in aug. after a 6y relationship i got dumped and had to move in with my parents. it gets worse.

[ILoveYeshua]

and then it looked like it might stop getting worse and get better. but it was like a mirage.

[ILoveYeshua]

and i'm left eating sand.

[C.F.W. Walther]

I could belt out a lot of homolies and cute sayings but I don't think that would be beneficial right now.

My advice is don't drink and drive......uhh ----well anyway.

Don't do anything dumb!

[ILoveYeshua]

i wont

[ILoveYeshua]

maybe you could share something personal that could somehow relate that you can identify with this situation.

[ILoveYeshua]

i mean, if you really feel like doing anything. and obviously pray. yeah.

[C.F.W. Walther]

Maybe someone will come in here with some GOOD advice. I'm just an old geezer. Even though I've gone through the same thing you've gone through it still would come accross better from someone that is around your age.

[ILoveYeshua]

well, thanks for your time and concern. that makes 1.

[ILoveYeshua]

i'm not the suicidal type. i choose life. so yea, no worries there. just beaten and -half- dead.

[C.F.W. Walther]

All I remeber is the ongoing agony of something that couldn't be and I mean couldn't be!!

She wasn't Christian and I though I would die when I broke up. It was like somebody dying but still being there to remind you of their presence

[ILoveYeshua]

ouch

[ILoveYeshua]

i just want to lay my head in her lap, and look up at her into her eyes, and hold her. .............................................................................................

did i not pray hard enough? i dont get it.

[ILoveYeshua]

she's christian btw.

[C.F.W. Walther]

It's even harder loving someone and knowing that it wouldn't work because they didn't believe what you believed. We had been going together for 9 years and were VERY close. But ya know even though I could say it was 9 years out of my life, I have to say that that saying" It's better to have loved and lost than not loved at all" is very true not matter how much hurt I felt.

[C.F.W. Walther]

God DID answer your prayer........sorry.

[ILoveYeshua]

thank you...

I agree, that must have been very hard, especially knowing her eventual fate.

[ILoveYeshua]

everyone who asks receives. i know.

[C.F.W. Walther]

That's only happened to me and few million other people :)

[ILoveYeshua]

except when ya dont. hmm

[ILoveYeshua]

that should make me feel better, but it only makes me feel worse that so many others have delved into the pits of heartache.

[ILoveYeshua]

whats the other famous line? oh yeah

maybe its a test. yeah.

[ILoveYeshua]

well i fail. i give up. i surrender. get me outta here. white flag. throwing in the towel. i lose.

[ILoveYeshua]

i just dont care anymore. for so long i've sought for my wife-to-be. seeking and seeking, but now my eyes are failing in searching. i thought i'd found my home but 'no'.

[C.F.W. Walther]

Gee---glad I could make you feel better.......huh?

[ILoveYeshua]

not that it matters.

10-4, over and out. have a nice day.

[ILoveYeshua]

in a couple days youll all forget about me.

[Protoevangel]

I really identify with the pain you are going through. I was once hurt so badly that I pretty much stopped eating for weeks. I couldn't get more than a couple of mouthfuls before I felt like I was going to puke it all up. I drank myself into a stupor nearly every night. I lost many, many pounds. Eventually, I began eating again, the pain wasn't over, though. Now, though, when I look back on the situation, I have no pain, I do have a feeling of nostalgia, and even some "what if" thoughts, but life continued. All I can say is however bad it hurts, you will learn how to deal with the pain. You will get on with your life. You will love again, as strange as that may sound right now.

God bless, you are in my prayers.

[LilLamb219]

I don't think women really realize how hard men take these sorts of things.

I'm very sorry you're going through such heartache right now. It could possibly be that this is not the woman God has in mind for you...or the timing is just not right. Not that those words are comforting to you right now but someday they will be.

[ILoveYeshua]

my depression is unimaginable. i'm usually chronically depressed anyway (gee could you tell??) but yeah. this, this takes the cake. it takes a couple cakes. it took the cake, and ate it too.

[ILoveYeshua]

I don't think women really realize how hard men take these sorts of things.

I agree, but only insofar as humans in general do not recognize their fellow neighbor when he is in need and in pain. Women tend to believe their feelings matter more. Men tend to believe men should suppress their feelings. anyway.

[ILoveYeshua]

I'm very sorry you're going through such heartache right now. It could possibly be that this is not the woman God has in mind for you...or the timing is just not right. Not that those words are comforting to you right now but someday they will be.

well i hope its just timing. thats the only .......... needle-eye to slip thru. timing. later. maybe later.

[ILoveYeshua]

but no one else will do. never.

[LilLamb219]

my depression is unimaginable. i'm usually chronically depressed anyway (gee could you tell??) but yeah. this, this takes the cake. it takes a couple cakes. it took the cake, and ate it too.


A LOT of us have been there as well in that deep pit of no one loves me, no one will ever love me, no one cares, the world is crashing down upon me.

Time will tell a different story though.

[ILoveYeshua]

(not counting Jesus, who i know loves me) no one else has ever yet, or will ever, show me the compassion she has. we're best friends still. but i need her.

[LilLamb219]

Women tend to believe their feelings matter more.

That's not true at all. Women are extremely empathic and realize other's emotional needs are important.

[LilLamb219]

Did she tell you that she does not feel the same for you? Or does she love someone else?

[ILoveYeshua]

people hate me because of Jesus' name. people hate because i'm overweight. people hate me because i'm intelligent. people hate me because i act all depressed. people hate me because i'm white. people hate me because i speak the truth. people have always hated me. every turn i took. cf has been one of my lone, sole, points to reach out to. its been the only place that i havent been utterly hated.

[LilLamb219]

ack...I forgot about the tub drain....gotta run some hot water to clean it...brb

[ILoveYeshua]

1st you say
> I don't think women really realize how hard men take these sorts of things.

then you say
> That's not true at all. Women are extremely empathic and realize other's emotional needs are important.


please, decide

[LilLamb219]

Ok back, sorry. I had poured some chemical down the drain and it was ONLY supposed to be left in there 10 minutes and I left it in too long...oops.

Anyway, you sound like ME when I was a teenager (even though you're older than a teen). I had poor self-esteem as well. But, I was a lot harder on myself and didn't see the truth that the things I believed about myself weren't always truthful.

[ILoveYeshua]

> Did she tell you that she does not feel the same for you? Or does she love someone else?


she loves me as a best friend and as a brother in christ, and she does not know what the future will bring.

[LilLamb219]

Clarification:

Women realize that men get hurt, but we don't always SEE how the way it affects them later on as they tend to hide away and not let us view the painful reactions. We KNOW they're hurting but don't really know that they're starving themselves or overeating or crying their eyes out. But we do know they're hurting. Does that help in explaining?

[ILoveYeshua]

and i value that, extremely. i do.

i just love her so much.

[ILoveYeshua]

> Women realize that men get hurt, but we don't always SEE how the way it affects them later on as they tend to hide away and not let us view the painful reactions. We KNOW they're hurting but don't really know that they're starving themselves or overeating or crying their eyes out. But we do know they're hurting. Does that help in explaining?

ah that makes more sense ;) thank you

[LilLamb219]

she loves me as a best friend and as a brother in christ, and she does not know what the future will bring.

She does not know what the future will bring...is that supposed to be so negative that you come crashing down so hard? It sounds to me like you need to back off and be a good friend to her. Maybe her life isn't ready for love right now?

[ILoveYeshua]

i've never even met her. sigh

[ILoveYeshua]

its a combination of the nonrealization of a life goal, the nonrealization of a miracle i was expecting, and the nonrealization of a specific goal that i was hoping for. to put it in brute technical terms. which i dislike doing.

[LilLamb219]

i've never even met her. sigh

Cyber Love?

[C.F.W. Walther]

I hope you don't mind but I put in a prayer request for you in the prayer forum.

[ILoveYeshua]

i know that even if i sweat blood i still will get nailed up. (metaphorically speaking). the trials we face are the trials we face.

> I hope you don't mind but I put in a prayer request for you in the prayer forum.

I just hope that won't mean that people will be spinnin` in a circle and cluckin like a chicken thinkin theyre talkin in tongues to pray for me. sorry, just tired of the quote unquote pentacostals and such.

issues

[ILoveYeshua]

anyway thats fine, just at least post a link here.

[ILoveYeshua]

people can do whatever they want. they do anyway.

[LilLamb219]

So...is she your cyber love?

[ILoveYeshua]

maybe the timing just sucks. maybe thats all there is to it. i mean, she's said over and over that she thinks i'm awesome, funny, intelligent, compassionate, and so on and so forth, and she still thinks that i know. why then wouldnt you date someone that you think those things about if you really think those things about them?

[ILoveYeshua]

> So...is she your cyber love?

yes, if you want to put it that bluntly. we've sent each other over 500 emails and talked on the phone and sent letters and IMd, yada yada yada. she's only 1 state away.

[C.F.W. Walther]

Uhh----we're Lutheran ---not pentecostal

[ILoveYeshua]

instead of saying cyber love, i prefer to use the term soulmate when talking about her.

[ILoveYeshua]

> Uhh----we're Lutheran ---not pentecoastal

i know. but since i dont know where the link for the prayer request is (general forums? lutheran forums?) i just wanted to make sure. whats the link btw again?

[LilLamb219]

instead of saying cyber love, i prefer to use the term soulmate when talking about her.

I hope I didn't offend you by the term. I was trying to understand the situation.

[ILoveYeshua]

but i guess she's not my soulmate. or not yet. i dont know........... sigh

[C.F.W. Walther]

hmmm---I met my wife on a Lutheran singles site. We didn't think it would work either but we've been happily married since Oct 1st of '05.

[ILoveYeshua]

> I hope I didn't offend you by the term. I was trying to understand the situation.

its ok, i'm not. yes she is.

she's my only real friend.

[ILoveYeshua]

congratulations radidio!

[LilLamb219]

maybe the timing just sucks. maybe thats all there is to it. i mean, she's said over and over that she thinks i'm awesome, funny, intelligent, compassionate, and so on and so forth, and she still thinks that i know. why then wouldnt you date someone that you think those things about if you really think those things about them?

There could be a great number of reasons all depending on what type of person she is.

It could be that she has her eye on someone local and is holding out for him.

It could be that she doesn't feel a love connection even though she loves talking with you online or on the phone.

It could be that she is scared that you might not be the same person in real life as you are on the phone and online. I have encountered this personally where I've had some great online friends and we've met in person only to be totally awkward with nothing to say to each other. Until we got back online ;)

It could be that her family is against this type of relationship since they don't know you and are influencing her.

It could be that she doesn't want a long distance love relationship.

It could be so much more.

[ILoveYeshua]

the way people treat me most days, i sometimes wonder if i'm even alive. some people will just treat me like some kind of project to finish or something to fix. others just flat ignore my existence. love is so multifaceted. love is a command. why does no one love me then.

sinful world.

Mat 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offenses! for it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh!

[C.F.W. Walther]

http://www.christianforums.com/t1151643-prayer-forum.html&page=43#post23347398

[ILoveYeshua]

> There could be a great number of reasons all depending on what type of person she is.

she's a great christian.

> It could be that she has her eye on someone local and is holding out for him.

could be.

> It could be that she doesn't feel a love connection even though she loves talking with you online or on the phone.

could be.

> It could be that she is scared that you might not be the same person in real life as you are on the phone and online. I have encountered this personally where I've had some great online friends and we've met in person only to be totally awkward with nothing to say to each other. Until we got back online ;)

doubt it.

> It could be that her family is against this type of relationship since they don't know you and are influencing her.

dont think so, but i wouldnt know

> It could be that she doesn't want a long distance love relationship.

could be. but she knows if she says yes i will be there in a heartbeat.

> It could be so much more.

nah one of those is probly right. any other ideas 1 or 2?

[ILoveYeshua]

thanks for posting the link, and the original post there, and for posting here. i appreciate it.

[ILoveYeshua]

yknow i just hope anyone out there would treat me like a real human being. ideally someone IN ohio. but just, anyone really.

[LilLamb219]

Did you totally freak her out when you confessed your love for her? How did she handle it? Was it on the phone or in a message?

I mean, if it were me, I'd first write her and explain that I didn't intend to make her feel weird. Then I'd tell her how much I value her friendship and look forward to the continuing communication. I'd try to downplay it if she didn't take it so well. That way she won't back off and stop writing or talking.

[ILoveYeshua]

i dont ask for much. but she's already given so much love. it was just ........ like nothing i'd ever experienced before. i just want her to be my wife so bad. .....

[LilLamb219]

yknow i just hope anyone out there would treat me like a real human being.

I thought we WERE treating you like a real human being :(

[ILoveYeshua]

> Did you totally freak her out when you confessed your love for her? How did she handle it? Was it on the phone or in a message?

i would say she did not totally freak out.

she handled it in the amazingly graceful way she's handled everything i've thrown at her. she's an exemplory friend. i mean, i know i'm lucky for having her as a friend, a best friend. it just feels... like the tip of an iceberg yknow?


> I mean, if it were me, I'd first write her and explain that I didn't intend to make her feel weird.

already done

> Then I'd tell her how much I value her friendship and look forward to the continuing communication.

also already done. i too am a good friend, when people take the time and effort to actually get to know me. if anyone ever will. she's the only one who has. y'all aint doin so bad yerselves. antoher reason im a lutheran.

> I'd try to downplay it if she didn't take it so well.

yea. i told her that i wont bring it up again, but if she wants me, ever, that i will say yes, but that she'd have to ask.

> That way she won't back off and stop writing or talking.

i used to fear that with her, but she is not the type of person who would hurt me like that.

[ILoveYeshua]

> I thought we WERE treating you like a real human being

so far, yes you are! but you should have been witness to the rest of my life

[C.F.W. Walther]

yknow i just hope anyone out there would treat me like a real human being. ideally someone IN ohio. but just, anyone really.



hmmmmmmm..........................

[ILoveYeshua]

ie by confessing these things to you which are very personal, i've already given you some trust and am not including you in any negative statements i'm making about people in general.

[LilLamb219]

Well, then it doesn't sound like you should be feeling so sorry for yourself. Finding a true friend like her is amazing so cling to her, first as a friend and then wait until she is ready and she'll let you know if it can be anything else later on. :)

[ILoveYeshua]

>hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

lol

i wonder what thats about.

[LilLamb219]

My daughter needs me. I need to get going. Sorry. My vocation as mother is a priority :)

[ILoveYeshua]

> Well, then it doesn't sound like you should be feeling so sorry for yourself.


its statements like that, that I do not believe Jesus would not make.


> Finding a true friend like her is amazing

i agree.

> so cling to her

as if i had a choice. my heart feels bonded to her.

> first as a friend and then wait until she is ready and she'll let you know if it can be anything else later on.

she will always be my friend. even if we marry or not. when we're in our 40's we will still be friends.

[Protoevangel]

Well, then it doesn't sound like you should be feeling so sorry for yourself. Finding a true friend like her is amazing so cling to her, first as a friend and then wait until she is ready and she'll let you know if it can be anything else later on. :)
:amen:
The best advice ever!

[ILoveYeshua]

> My daughter needs me. I need to get going. Sorry. My vocation as mother is a priority

I understand. thank you for acting as a mother might to me at this hour of need. May Jesus Christ bless you.

[ILoveYeshua]

Joh 19:26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
Joh 19:27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.

[C.F.W. Walther]

I'm saying this out of Christian love but I also think that you might have some other issues that you want to address before you think about getting into another affair. I think LiLamb has allreadyt hit on one and that is "self image" or "self worth". Depression can be a side effect of that.

Your lady friend might have picked up on that and made her indecisive.

[ILoveYeshua]

yeah probly

[ILoveYeshua]

great

its like, you cant have love unless youre happy, and you cant be happy unless you have love

[ILoveYeshua]

but thanks for pointing out that i have issues and that women would probly avoid me. i didnt know that already.

sorry

[ILoveYeshua]

well, ya always take that chance when you expose yourself to a cruel world. what do they call that, brutal honesty? mmm, gotta love that brutal honesty ; ) sigh.

though i mean, i dont know what i expect. too much obviously. i never thought life would be this bad growing up though. i mean, its like a social torture chamber.

[ILoveYeshua]

school was the worst. but thats probly just cuz there was such a high concentration of people

[ILoveYeshua]

but perhaps the world is right. why should some sad sap like me get a wonderful beautiful wife when theres so many better examples of humanity out there.

[ILoveYeshua]

btw im not USUALLY this whiny. but thats the thread.

[ILoveYeshua]

and i mean, why not just let it all fly? just let it all vent out... everyone'll offer their advice, tell me to cheer up, tell me it aint so bad, tell me i shouldnt hurt, i've got it good.

meanwhile i see my dreams falling to the ground. my hopes crushed. my unborn children evaporate as so much mist. i feel that first kiss ripped away from my heart, away from my future. but i have it good i guess. i shouldnt complain so much.

[ILoveYeshua]

i mean, it happens to everyone, and that makes it ok

[ILoveYeshua]

well i'm not ok. i had my chance at ok. the answer was no

[ILoveYeshua]

oh my love...
my love please think about it.

oh my Lord... please change her heart. have mercy upon me, a sinner.

[ILoveYeshua]

it must be nice for all you people who dont have issues. who didnt just see their future vanish. all you folks who are so well socialized. meanwhile i swim in a sea of confusion.

[ILoveYeshua]

it hurts when even the people who care dont care.

[ILoveYeshua]

or i guess who are spose to care. but what is anyone spose to do

oh yeah, love one another

[ILoveYeshua]

and that, my friends, is why God made that a law. so people dont end up like me. half a person

[ILoveYeshua]

Deu 28:1 And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:
Deu 28:2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.
Deu 28:3 Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed shalt thou be in the field.
Deu 28:4 Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.
Deu 28:5 Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store.
Deu 28:6 Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out.
Deu 28:7 The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways.
Deu 28:8 The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Deu 28:9 The LORD shall establish thee a holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways.
Deu 28:10 And all people of the earth shall see that thou art called by the name of the LORD; and they shall be afraid of thee.
Deu 28:11 And the LORD shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattle, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the LORD swore unto thy fathers to give thee.
Deu 28:12 The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow.
Deu 28:13 And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them:
Deu 28:14 And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.
Deu 28:15 But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:
Deu 28:16 Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed shalt thou be in the field.
Deu 28:17 Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store.
Deu 28:18 Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy land, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.
Deu 28:19 Cursed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and cursed shalt thou be when thou goest out.
Deu 28:20 The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that thou settest thine hand unto for to do, until thou be destroyed, and until thou perish quickly; because of the wickedness of thy doings, whereby thou hast forsaken me.
Deu 28:21 The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.
Deu 28:22 The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.
Deu 28:23 And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.
Deu 28:24 The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deu 28:25 The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and shalt be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth.
Deu 28:26 And thy carcass shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall frighten them away.
Deu 28:27 The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
Deu 28:28 The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:
Deu 28:29 And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.
Deu 28:30 Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her: thou shalt build a house, and thou shalt not dwell therein: thou shalt plant a vineyard, and shalt not gather the grapes thereof.
Deu 28:31 Thine ox shall be slain before thine eyes, and thou shalt not eat thereof: thine ass shall be violently taken away from before thy face, and shall not be restored to thee: thy sheep shall be given unto thine enemies, and thou shalt have none to rescue them.
Deu 28:32 Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people, and thine eyes shall look, and fail with longing for them all the day long: and there shall be no might in thine hand.
Deu 28:33 The fruit of thy land, and all thy labors, shall a nation which thou knowest not eat up; and thou shalt be only oppressed and crushed always:
Deu 28:34 So that thou shalt be mad for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.
Deu 28:35 The LORD shall smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head.
Deu 28:36 The LORD shall bring thee, and thy king which thou shalt set over thee, unto a nation which neither thou nor thy fathers have known; and there shalt thou serve other gods, wood and stone.
Deu 28:37 And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all nations whither the LORD shall lead thee.
Deu 28:38 Thou shalt carry much seed out into the field, and shalt gather but little in; for the locust shall consume it.
Deu 28:39 Thou shalt plant vineyards, and dress them, but shalt neither drink of the wine, nor gather the grapes; for the worms shall eat them.
Deu 28:40 Thou shalt have olive trees throughout all thy coasts, but thou shalt not anoint thyself with the oil; for thine olive shall cast his fruit.
Deu 28:41 Thou shalt beget sons and daughters, but thou shalt not enjoy them; for they shall go into captivity.
Deu 28:42 All thy trees and fruit of thy land shall the locust consume.
Deu 28:43 The stranger that is within thee shall get up above thee very high; and thou shalt come down very low.
Deu 28:44 He shall lend to thee, and thou shalt not lend to him: he shall be the head, and thou shalt be the tail.
Deu 28:45 Moreover all these curses shall come upon thee, and shall pursue thee, and overtake thee, till thou be destroyed; because thou hearkenedst not unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep his commandments and his statutes which he commanded thee:
Deu 28:46 And they shall be upon thee for a sign and for a wonder, and upon thy seed forever.
Deu 28:47 Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things;
Deu 28:48 Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee.
Deu 28:49 The LORD shall bring a nation against thee from far, from the end of the earth, as swift as the eagle flieth; a nation whose tongue thou shalt not understand;
Deu 28:50 A nation of fierce countenance, which shall not regard the person of the old, nor show favor to the young:
Deu 28:51 And he shall eat the fruit of thy cattle, and the fruit of thy land, until thou be destroyed: which also shall not leave thee either corn, wine, or oil, or the increase of thy kine, or flocks of thy sheep, until he have destroyed thee.
Deu 28:52 And he shall besiege thee in all thy gates, until thy high and fenced walls come down, wherein thou trustedst, throughout all thy land: and he shall besiege thee in all thy gates throughout all thy land, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.
Deu 28:53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee:
Deu 28:54 So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave:
Deu 28:55 So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat: because he hath nothing left him in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee in all thy gates.
Deu 28:56 The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter,
Deu 28:57 And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates.
Deu 28:58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;
Deu 28:59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance.
Deu 28:60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee.
Deu 28:61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deu 28:62 And ye shall be left few in number, whereas ye were as the stars of heaven for multitude; because thou wouldest not obey the voice of the LORD thy God.
Deu 28:63 And it shall come to pass, that as the LORD rejoiced over you to do you good, and to multiply you; so the LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you, and to bring you to naught; and ye shall be plucked from off the land whither thou goest to possess it.
Deu 28:64 And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people, from the one end of the earth even unto the other; and there thou shalt serve other gods, which neither thou nor thy fathers have known, even wood and stone.
Deu 28:65 And among these nations shalt thou find no ease, neither shall the sole of thy foot have rest: but the LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind:
Deu 28:66 And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life:
Deu 28:67 In the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say, Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.
Deu 28:68 And the LORD shall bring thee into Egypt again with ships, by the way whereof I spoke unto thee, Thou shalt see it no more again: and there ye shall be sold unto your enemies for bondmen and bondwomen, and no man shall buy you.

[ILoveYeshua]

Deu 28:28 The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:
Deu 28:29 And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.
Deu 28:30 Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her: thou shalt build a house, and thou shalt not dwell therein: thou shalt plant a vineyard, and shalt not gather the grapes thereof.

[ILoveYeshua]

Job 2:1 Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the LORD.
Job 2:2 And the LORD said unto Satan, From whence comest thou? And Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.
Job 2:3 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause.
Job 2:4 And Satan answered the LORD, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath will he give for his life.
Job 2:5 But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face.
Job 2:6 And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life.
Job 2:7 So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown.
Job 2:8 And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; and he sat down among the ashes.

[ILoveYeshua]

Job 3:1 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day.
Job 3:2 And Job spoke, and said,
Job 3:3 Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived.
Job 3:4 Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.
Job 3:5 Let darkness and the shadow of death stain it; let a cloud dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day terrify it.
Job 3:6 As for that night, let darkness seize upon it; let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months.
Job 3:7 Lo, let that night be solitary, let no joyful voice come therein.
Job 3:8 Let them curse it that curse the day, who are ready to raise up their mourning.
Job 3:9 Let the stars of the twilight thereof be dark; let it look for light, but have none; neither let it see the dawning of the day:
Job 3:10 Because it shut not up the doors of my mother's womb, nor hid sorrow from mine eyes.
Job 3:11 Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?
Job 3:12 Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts that I should suck?
Job 3:13 For now should I have lain still and been quiet, I should have slept: then had I been at rest,
Job 3:14 With kings and counselors of the earth, which built desolate places for themselves;
Job 3:15 Or with princes that had gold, who filled their houses with silver:
Job 3:16 Or as a hidden untimely birth I had not been; as infants which never saw light.
Job 3:17 There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the weary be at rest.
Job 3:18 There the prisoners rest together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor.
Job 3:19 The small and great are there; and the servant is free from his master.
Job 3:20 Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul;
Job 3:21 Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures;
Job 3:22 Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave?
Job 3:23 Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?
Job 3:24 For my sighing cometh before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters.
Job 3:25 For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.

[ILoveYeshua]

1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
1Pe 5:9 Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

Luk 10:18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.
Luk 10:19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Luk 10:20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.

[ILoveYeshua]

Mat 16:23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offense unto me: for thou savorest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.
Mat 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Mat 16:25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
Mat 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mat 16:27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Mat 16:28 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

[ILoveYeshua]

Mar 8:33 But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savorest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.
Mar 8:34 And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Mar 8:35 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.
Mar 8:36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Mar 8:37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mar 8:38 Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

[ILoveYeshua]

Luk 9:22 Saying, The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day.
Luk 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
Luk 9:24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.
Luk 9:25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?
Luk 9:26 For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and of the holy angels.
Luk 9:27 But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God.

[ILoveYeshua]

2Ti 2:16 But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.

[ILoveYeshua]

2Ti 2:24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
2Ti 2:25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
2Ti 2:26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

[ILoveYeshua]

Mat 22:26 Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh.
Mat 22:27 And last of all the woman died also.
Mat 22:28 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her.
Mat 22:29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God.
Mat 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
Mat 22:31 But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying,
Mat 22:32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.

[LilLamb219]

Your lady friend might have picked up on that and made her indecisive.

That might be true. Get your act together and she'll be really impressed :) Having all the baggage you bring to the relationship could give her a lot of doubt.

What do you do for a living if you don't mind my asking?

[ILoveYeshua]

Mar 12:22 And the seven had her, and left no seed: last of all the woman died also.
Mar 12:23 In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife.
Mar 12:24 And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the Scriptures, neither the power of God?
Mar 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
Mar 12:26 And as touching the dead, that they rise: have ye not read in the book of Moses, how in the bush God spake unto him, saying, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob?
Mar 12:27 He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living: ye therefore do greatly err.

[ILoveYeshua]

Computer nerd, professionally. ;) linux, bash scripts, reports, etc etc. pretty much if its digital, thats my job

[Protoevangel]

Dude, forget about us trying to make you feel better. The pain is important to work through... We can't do that for you or make it easier.

Anything we say is going to sound either flippant or harsh.

Just know you are in my (our) prayers.

[ILoveYeshua]

>nerd
as if i needed anything else going against me.

in 1st grade i had a 140 iq and i had an act score of 33. ive just always been kinda a nerd.

[ILoveYeshua]

oh i know. when i started posting here, i didnt think anyone would say anything that would sit well with me. but i figured i'd write anyway. and its been helpful, even if for the simple reason that someone knows now. i'm not the only one who knows about this. that helps.

[Protoevangel]

Linux? Is there a flavor you prefer? I'm mostly into Debian. I tried Gentoo, but it was more work than I wanted to put into it at the time.

[ILoveYeshua]

centos 4 is nice, easy install. ubuntu's ok, and i like red hat. havent tried gentoo, tried debian but didnt get too far =)

[ILoveYeshua]

i think its interesting how the conversation evolved into, and excuse my paraphrasing, 'well it must be cuz youre messed up and she ran like hell'

well, i wanted input from the outside world, and i got it.

and yknow, its probly true enough.

[ILoveYeshua]

still, its disappointing.

[ILoveYeshua]

and i wonder what will happen if she one day peruses upon this thread and reads it. i can only imagine. or i could sabotage myself like usual and send her a link to this thread. that'd be sure to shoot myself in the foot.

[ILoveYeshua]

for all the people who tell me i have issues, no one ever suggests how to get RID of those issues. personally i thought Jesus could get rid of those issues. yet, i still have my issues.

[ILoveYeshua]

or maybe i dont have any issues, and the world is just messed up, and i'm just reacting to how its reacted to me. hmm

[ILoveYeshua]

regardless, i doubt there are very many people posting 150 posts to themselves. not that it matters

[LilLamb219]

i think its interesting how the conversation evolved into, and excuse my paraphrasing, 'well it must be cuz youre messed up and she ran like hell'

*sigh* It's not that we're saying you're so totally messed up that women don't want you. It's just that it's one possibility that was suggested that you're bringing baggage into the relationship.

Oftentimes in my relationships (with not only my husband but my dear friends), when I have problems with them, I'll stop placing blame on them and look to see what *I* am doing. Am I part of the blame? Is there something I could be doing differently? What would work better? How can I help the situation?

Maybe those are questions you could ask yourself?

We ALL have issues. Every single one of us. It's just that our issues can either divide us or bring us together. A lot of times they are divisive so we need to see how our issues are effecting others and how we can bring about some sort of compromise for change (for the better).

You want help on getting RID of your issues? Well, not all issues can be gotten rid of totally, but they can be managed up to a point.

What issues would you like help with? We can't help you with your lovelife. But if there is something you think an outsider could help you with, there are people who do care and would like to offer help.

[C.F.W. Walther]

*sigh* It's not that we're saying you're so totally messed up that women don't want you. It's just that it's one possibility that was suggested that you're bringing baggage into the relationship.

Oftentimes in my relationships (with not only my husband but my dear friends), when I have problems with them, I'll stop placing blame on them and look to see what *I* am doing. Am I part of the blame? Is there something I could be doing differently? What would work better? How can I help the situation?

Maybe those are questions you could ask yourself?

We ALL have issues. Every single one of us. It's just that our issues can either divide us or bring us together. A lot of times they are divisive so we need to see how our issues are effecting others and how we can bring about some sort of compromise for change (for the better).

You want help on getting RID of your issues? Well, not all issues can be gotten rid of totally, but they can be managed up to a point.

What issues would you like help with? We can't help you with your lovelife. But if there is something you think an outsider could help you with, there are people who do care and would like to offer help.

Or you could run away like I did years ago, be a biker and stomp some butt. Anger management :) WHen I came ack to sanity I still had the same issues but I felt better :) LOL

DId that help anything?--probably not-----probably made it worse.

[ILoveYeshua]

youre doin fine =) sometimes its nice just to know that someone else exists and cares, even if they cant make a lick of difference in the grand scheme of things.

but the thing is, you can make a lick of difference. you can do 3 things.

1. pray the Lord's prayer verbatim.

2. pray that he will fix my problems

3. pray that he will provide a wife for me whom i will love, ideally this person i'm already thinking of, but whatever he wants.

[ILoveYeshua]

> *sigh*

i can sense your frustration. i too am frustrated, tho not with you, so no worries there.

> It's not that we're saying you're so totally messed up that women don't want you.

i know. if someone said that on this board, i'd be shocked and appalled. but we all have our euphamisms. nevertheless, its not like i havent openly admitted to having issues, so i apologize for giving anyone a hard time about that. a lot of time, i'm just lost in my own mindthought. its hard to break out.

> It's just that it's one possibility that was suggested that you're bringing baggage into the relationship.

i mean, i wouldn't date me, so why should anyone? because it would be nice. i felt a relationship based in Christ with her would be perfect. she is so accepting of me. its like.... amazing. i cant even describe how wonderful she is to me to y'all. i just wish she could be my wife, and that seems to not be happening.

> Oftentimes in my relationships (with not only my husband but my dear friends), when I have problems with them, I'll stop placing blame on them and look to see what *I* am doing. Am I part of the blame? Is there something I could be doing differently? What would work better? How can I help the situation?

true. and thats always hard. cuz i know a lot of my messups but i just ignore them. its hard to care anymore. i mean, see the title of the thread. i'm not really all that indifferent, but im not ambitious. i just dont see the point most days.

> Maybe those are questions you could ask yourself?

only if you ask yourself those qustions too!

> We ALL have issues. Every single one of us. It's just that our issues can either divide us or bring us together. A lot of times they are divisive so we need to see how our issues are effecting others and how we can bring about some sort of compromise for change (for the better).

hmm. what are issues that bring us together/

> You want help on getting RID of your issues? Well, not all issues can be gotten rid of totally, but they can be managed up to a point.


... managed?

the way i try to manage my issues is by keeping my mouth shut. one big issue i have is foolishness, and proverbs' advice for the fool is to shut up. i try.

but i wonder if the way i've managed my issues with respect to her hass not been adequate enough to win her admiration.

highly likely. i'm very inadequate.

> What issues would you like help with? We can't help you with your lovelife. But if there is something you think an outsider could help you with, there are people who do care and would like to offer help.

lol where to start?

and yes, you are helping me with my lovelife, simply by talking about it. even if it may seem harsh or obvious to me or whatever, and even if i am reactin, i dunno, like a wounded animal, i'm still benefitting from your attention. thank you.

[ILoveYeshua]

but inevitably, once this conversation/thread plays out, you'll all just go back to your lives like i dont even exist. a project completed or not. a soul saved or not. and if that doesnt describe you then i encourage you to show forth fruits of love and continue to at least make believe i exist for a few days longer than you might normally dismiss a stranger.

[ILoveYeshua]

thats the sad thing. we see everyone as strangers, rather than long lost brothers

[ILoveYeshua]

we try to patch something up and send it on its way, but christ says "follow me". he wants you to stay with him, even though he has things to do, so his only recourse is to have you follow him. that requires denying ourself tho

[ILoveYeshua]

i just want my love to hold me.

[ILoveYeshua]

i'm such a mess.

[ILoveYeshua]

well, soon i'll go home, and the rest of this scenario will play out. will she change her mind and say yes? will she continue to be my best friend? will she turn tail and flee? stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of, a day in the life of a messed up 26y old romantic.

[LilLamb219]

hmm. what are issues that bring us together/

Weight loss can bring people together as they strive to eat healthier. My neighbor is in weight watchers and has a great time at the meetings!!!

There are other examples, but sometimes our issues helps us bond with others. That's what I meant by issues bringing people together. We find like-minded people with whom we can work things through.

From reading a lot of your postings today I've discovered that you don't feel you have a lot of self-worth. You belittle yourself constantly. You are extremely negative in your outlook about who you are. Your friend has given you many compliments on your character, but you don't believe those compliments, do you? I mean, you think it's great that she believes those things, but you are so into thinking that no one cares, loves you, or wants to even be near you that you cannot possibly believe there is anything good about yourself. At least, that's the image you've portrayed here today. Maybe it's just because you're down in the dumps today that this is what is being communicated. Maybe you don't always feel that way about yourself. I don't know.

I know I tend to pick on myself when I'm feeling poorly. Is that what you're doing to yourself? Or are you always so hard on yourself?

It's ok to ask for someone to be your friend here in this forum :)

[KagomeShuko]

"I wouldn't date myself."

How can you expect anybody to want to date you with that attitude? Would you be your own friend?

Everybody has their own issues.

Did you ever even "date" or was this friends and you suddenly asked her to marry you? That would be too sudden for me from a guy I'd chat with on the Internet. I'd be shocked and probably not even handle it as well as she did with you.

As for the issues, have you talked with a counselor or doctor? My mom has mild depression and the little bit of paxil helps her TONS. She would just go talk about her life about once a month and it really helped.

We all go through it. I don't think men should have to be tough at all. I think more men need to express their feelings than hold them back.

I think you need to take time.

Don't pray things like, "Lord, please change her heart." Pray things like, "Lord, please let me see Your plan."

We do care about you.

[Flatscan82]

how can you pray for something so hard, and not get it..................

I bet if you put all that time into praying to get something and then put that time and effort into working to get what you wanted i am sure you would have it by now.

[Flatscan82]

but inevitably, once this conversation/thread plays out, you'll all just go back to your lives like i dont even exist. a project completed or not. a soul saved or not. and if that doesnt describe you then i encourage you to show forth fruits of love and continue to at least make believe i exist for a few days longer than you might normally dismiss a stranger.

I am going to tell you something, but you are not going to fully understand it at this point in time but eventually it will sink in.

dames are a dime a dozen.

[ILoveYeshua]

dames may be a dime a dozen, but she is more valuable than many rubies.

[night2day]

how can you pray for something so hard, and not get it..................

God does answer prayer of those who are saved by grace, through faith, in Jesus Christ because of His Person and Work.

These three ways are: yes, no, and wait.

It may not always be the answer we want...but rather what we need. And who knows our actual needs better than Him who created us?

[LilLamb219]

Yes, no and wait...very true!!!

God can wait longer than any of us and I admit to being a patient person but compared to God, I'm the most impatient LOL

We can't make God hurry up if the answer is wait, although even in the Bible we see examples of people trying to help God along.

[Tetzel]

Hope you feel happier soon

[ILoveYeshua]

Matthew 15:21-28 Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre and Sidon. (22) And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil. (23) But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. (24) But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. (25) Then came she and worshiped him, saying, Lord, help me. (26) But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs. (27) And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table. (28) Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.

[ILoveYeshua]

^^^^ Yes no or wait?

or I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. , It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs. , O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt.

then yes

If everyone who asks in faith receives, where does this 'no' come from

[ILoveYeshua]

and yes i'm doing a little better, we talked on the phone last night for, according to my cell phone, 14m and 14 secs. it was a very nice conversation and she's calling tonight as well. per my brothers' and sisters' advice i'm ......... whats the term. taking it down a notch? yeah. in terms of yknow, that stuff. but yeah. anyway. doing slightly better, still a bit annoyed at this turn of events, but i'm also getting more at peace with the idea that this too is the Lord's will, for whatever reason.

[Protoevangel]

^^^^ Yes no or wait?

or I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. , It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs. , O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt.

then yes

If everyone who asks in faith receives, where does this 'no' come from

If your child asked you for a live hand grenade to play with, would you say yes?

God knows what is good for us and what would be dangerous for us. Considering the time and emotional effort (which sounds almost obsessive) you have expended on this... postponement of your desires being realized... Perhaps a lesson in heartache and patience is what is called for. Of course I don't know God's mind, I am simply speculating.

In any case, I am still praying for you. You really do seem to be a nice fellow, and I hope you do get your wish, or something so much better, that you have never even dared to imagine it.

[ILoveYeshua]

If your child asked you for a live hand grenade to play with, would you say yes?


Mat 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Mat 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
Mat 7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
Mat 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
Mat 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

It is interesting to me that the flow from ask->receive into THEREFORE (love one another). There is another part like this:

Joh 14:11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.
Joh 14:12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
Joh 14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
Joh 14:14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
Joh 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.


See the transition again from ask->receive (in v12,13) into the v15 therefore if you love me, obey me.


and one other time (there are likely more)

Joh 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
Joh 15:8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
Joh 15:9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
Joh 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
Joh 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
Joh 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Joh 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Joh 15:14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
...
Joh 15:17 These things I command you, that ye love one another.

in v7: (ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. ) transitioning into v14 (Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. ) and then 17: the ultimate law: (These things I command you, that ye love one another. )


So it would stand to reason that my failure to obey the Lord and hearken unto his voice as zealously or diligently as I ought, has perhaps also led to my possibly not receiving the things I'm asking for. But if I had greater faith in Jesus, I would love him more, and thereby obey his commandments and it would come as no surprise to me that whatsoever I asked for I received.

Three transitions from ask->receive into "obey me". And it only makes sense that would be the case. Consider the first words out of Christ's mouth when he emerges from the desert temptations after his baptism.

Mat 4:9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
Mat 4:10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
Mat 4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
Mat 4:12 Now when Jesus had heard that John was cast into prison, he departed into Galilee;
Mat 4:13 And leaving Nazareth, he came and dwelt in Capernaum, which is upon the sea coast, in the borders of Zebulun and Naphtali:
Mat 4:14 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying,
Mat 4:15 The land of Zebulun, and the land of Naphtali, by the way of the sea, beyond Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles;
Mat 4:16 The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.
Mat 4:17 From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.


THE very first word was Repent. word2: the reason (for) is: The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Knockin on the door. You may as well consider it here already, for its inevitability is inescapable.

So it would stand to reason that my repentance has not been complete enough, and I need to reevaluate my actions in light of Christ's words. Things like, "sell all you have and give to the poor". Something I have not done, but which his disciples did do when they were following him upon the earth, and in the early church, and even throughout the AD timeframe in his real church.

Corneilius was fasting and praying for 3 days before Peter came unto him. Many are called but few are chosen. What's that mean to you?

Mat 22:12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
Mat 22:13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Mat 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.


So obviously I must repent more stringently and believe more completely than I even have up til now, or else my soul could be in danger. I believe in him. And he strengthens me. Without him I never would be able to do anything. And I know he has saved me, "it is finished" he said. But still I long to know him better and to understand what it means to be known by him.

We should all be like the people who threw themselves down at Jesus' feet and cried tears to wash his feet and dry them with our hair. We should love him that much, for we see that he accepted that praise and even praised her for her faith. For her faith. Because she saw that the Perfect Son was there in front of her - her only chance to ever escape hell and death. And she believed in him, and cast down her pride, and worshipped him. I want to be like them, because I know where they're going when they die. So I believe in him too, and I want to believe that much. And I know its probly gonna get me nailed up too, in one way or another, and I take up that cross. But I fear that I have not denied myself first, for the order of it was "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me". Well if you skip step 1 (repent was the first word out of his mouth after the temptations), or skip step 1 in this (deny yourself) how can you expect to make it to step 2 properly?

I know I've been sinful, I openly admit it. I'm a man, I've done bad things, and God understands, but he still doesn't like it when his kids do bad things, so sometimes he rebukes his kids. Whom he loves, he also rebukes. And perhaps I am simply being rebuked, and frankly it could be far worse. So I should be less like the Israelites who were complaining in the desert even though God was leading them with a pillar of fire by night, and instead simply be thankful, pray more, worry less, and chill out.

Everyone should probably chill out.

=) and repent

Matthew 3:10 And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

Luke 3:9 And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Luke 3:10 And the people asked him, saying, What shall we do then? Luke 3:11 He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.
- John the Baptist


So then its clear. My lack of charity and generosity has itself led to the unfulfillment of my requests. Because if I believed more, I would have more charity. So then what I have to do is clear also. I must give. all.

Even as Christ gave all for me and my brothers and sisters.

Perhaps even one of you will be motivated to give. all.

[Protoevangel]

Dude, you're right! All the persecuted Christias around the World... They just don't have enough faith... You just prooved it! They just need more faith, then they can get their Big Sugar Daddy in the Sky to fix everything for them. Hey, maybe that's why we're not all rich yet...

Go to the pentecostal boards with that, they'll tell you everything you need to know. Name it and claim it dude! :preach:

[LilLamb219]

Are things going better today? Are you feeling slightly better about the situation than you did a couple days ago?

[ByzantineDixie]

ILY, your assessment that you are not charitable enough to have God answer your prayers is misguided. Certainly if you think you need to improve in this area, then you probably do but do not expect that in doing so God will grant you everything you want. As was pointed out earlier...some of the things we want and ask for in this world would be to our distruction if we actually got them. But our Lord, Who loves mankind, in His mercy he protects us from ourselves.

There is a sermon I have sent to people who are trying to understand God's answer to their prayers when things don't work out the way they want. It is written by a Lutheran pastor and is theologically sound. I hope this helps you.

St. John 16.23-30
In the Name of the Father and of the @ Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Dearly Beloved:
Today’s Gospel tends to disturb people like us. For we are impatient. We are used to getting or buying or working toward what we want. And we are over sensitive. We are easily and quickly offended when we ask a question, but get no answer. And we are cynical. We not only say, but deep down we believe that it’s easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. But most of all, we are slow to believe. We are so sure that others won’t come through that we’re already making a “Plan B” even before we ask someone a favor.
And then we hear about St. Paul, and that only confirms us in our impatience, and cynicism, and little faith. You know the story. It’s seared in your memory, and haunts you every time you pray. St. Paul says, “A thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan. Three times I begged the Lord that He might take it away from me.” We all know St. Paul’s frustration, because we’ve all lived it. And then here comes Jesus in today’s Gospel saying, “Most assuredly, I say to you: Whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”
People like us, we hardly believe what Jesus says. And we certainly don’t think He means what He says when He says, “Ask anything.” For we’ve tried that, and it didn’t work. So He must mean something else.
But people like us are also prone to hear what we want to hear, and to make the Bible say what it never says. That’s why we pray only as an exercise in meditation, or as a rote habit, or as a good luck charm—or not at all. For instead of believing Jesus when He says, “Ask anything,,” we believe that God helps those who help themselves—which, of course, God never says and which you’ll find nowhere in your Bible. What your Bible does say is this: “LORD, it is nothing for You to help those who have no power; help us, O LORD our God, for we rest on You, and in Your name we carry on” (2 Chrn 14.11).
So, then, why is St. Paul not helped? For certainly he prayed in Jesus’ name. And certainly he asked anything—just like Jesus said.
Oh how miserable we are, that we refuse to see Our Lord’s help when He gives it; and that we say He didn’t help us when He really did. And because of this, we give up on the Lord, and accuse Him of horrible things, and think He is no different than us—making promises He can’t keep. It’s a wonder—it’s a testament to His mercy and unfailing love—that He still puts up with us, and allows us to stand in His house, and hears any prayer we pray, and does not burn our tongues with His holy, pure and righteous flesh and blood!
For St. Paul is helped. He himself says so. For St. Paul says that his thorn in the flesh is not taken away so that he might keep his eyes, his heart, his mind and his soul fixed on Our Lord and His mercy. For if his ailment or besetting temptation goes away, then Paul says, “I will be exalted above measure.” In other words, “I will believe in myself, and the power of my prayers, and the strength of my faith.” And the worst thing a man can do is believe in himself. For then he is believing less—or not at all—in the Father who created Him to be in communion with Him through the Son in the Holy Spirit.
So here, then, is the answer St. Paul gets. “You’ve asked anything in My name, just as I said. And the most you can ask for is the salvation of your soul. That’s exactly what I want for you, and why I urge, command, insist, invite and tell you to pray to Me and ask Me anything. For it’s not about health, wealth and success. It’s not about gaining the world while losing your soul. It’s about following Me—in life and death. It’s about traveling My route—of baptism, temptation, suffering, death and then resurrection and a joyful reunion in heaven. And it’s about loving Me with all that you have, and loving Me by living not for yourself but for everyone else. For that’s the way into the Kingdom of heaven—denying yourself, and following Me. And if it takes weakness, tears, sickness, death, heartache, relentless temptations, or even Satan himself to keep your eyes fixed on the goal, then that’s what I’ll use. All you need to believe is that My grace is sufficient for you; and that when you are weak, then I am strong in you. For My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
And what is St. Paul’s response? How does he answer the answer to his prayer? “From now on, I most gladly boast in my infirmities, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. In fact, I now take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
That’s not just a lesson we need to learn. That’s the way of life we need to imitate, and the path we need to walk. For the goal is the kingdom of heaven. And we get there not by living as we please, or by feeding our appetites, or by gratifying our desires, or by thinking of ourselves first. We get there by the Lord’s grace and mercy. By His kindness which is works best when we are down. And by His love which permeates our being when we have stopped whining about what we don’t have, and start hungering for what He is giving us.
And that’s what we’re asked by Jesus to pray for. Not things that make life easier. But His mercy, which increases our peace even when we’re in pain; and for His grace, which increases our joy even when we’re sad; and for His compassion, which gives us true happiness and calm even when we’re depressed or stressed.
So the “anything” in Our Lord’s “Ask anything” is not “anything you like” or “anything you want.” The “anything” we’re to ask for is anything and everything that helps us attain the Lord’s kingdom; and anything and everything that grows and matures and perfects our faith and life in God.
So we pray for those things which aid our salvation, which are indeed useful for our life in God, and which restore, rebuild, recover, re-energize, re-invigorate and retain our communion in God.
And ultimately, the “anything” that we ask for is not a thing, but a person. For in the end, all our prayers become a prayer for the Holy Spirit. For it is in Him that our life in God begins; it is through Him that our selfish desires our suppressed; it is in Him that our pride and our passions are swept away; it is by Him that our hearts are cleansed and purified; it is in Him that our communion in God grows and is made whole; it is through Him that we receive every grace and spiritual blessing; and it is in Him and through Him and with Him that we attain our goal—the kingdom of heaven.
So people like us—we need to not be distracted or dissuaded. People like us—we need to pray, and to ask for all the anythings—and for the Anyone—so that our joy may be true and righteous and full.
In the Name of the Father and of the @ Son and of the Holy Spirit.
1 May 2005
Rev. Fr. John W. Fenton

[LilLamb219]

I wish that sermon could become a sticky!

[RedneckAnglican]

I know I'm the wrong kind of Lutheran to post here, but...

I don't want to sound condesending because I know what that feels like...You described yourself as overweight...depressed and several other things...I weigh 317 pounds...depression?...cronic clinical depression and general anxiety disorder...I have had so many women tell me that they only loved me as a "freind" or my personal favorite "brother" that I should be in the record book...with that said I know how you feel...you have to realize like I have to realize every day that we are loved...you have parents?...they love you...friends?...they love you...heck...I love you AND I HAVE NEVER MET YOU...but...i'm fat...I look funny...I don't wear the right clothes...glasses...shoes...so what...I had (read have) those issues, too...I'll tell you what my Pastor told me...GOD either loves you or HE doesn't...what does the bible say?...it says that HE love you...does it matter if you beleive HE loves you?...not in the slightest...HE's going to love you weither you believe it or not...

if you don't think I know what you mean click on my picture link above...if you think you can't have a beautiful wife look at the girl in the picture next to me...we'll be married 10 years in december...if you think that you can't have a happy life look at the little boy in the picture...if I can have all of that than so can you my friend...

GOD loves you...and so do I...

[SPALATIN]

I know I'm the wrong kind of Lutheran to post here, but...

I don't want to sound condesending because I know what that feels like...You described yourself as overweight...depressed and several other things...I weigh 317 pounds...depression?...cronic clinical depression and general anxiety disorder...I have had so many women tell me that they only loved me as a "freind" or my personal favorite "brother" that I should be in the record book...with that said I know how you feel...you have to realize like I have to realize every day that we are loved...you have parents?...they love you...friends?...they love you...heck...I love you AND I HAVE NEVER MET YOU...but...i'm fat...I look funny...I don't wear the right clothes...glasses...shoes...so what...I had (read have) those issues, too...I'll tell you what my Pastor told me...GOD either loves you or HE doesn't...what does the bible say?...it says that HE love you...does it matter if you beleive HE loves you?...not in the slightest...HE's going to love you weither you believe it or not...

if you don't think I know what you mean click on my picture link above...if you think you can't have a beautiful wife look at the girl in the picture next to me...we'll be married 10 years in december...if you think that you can't have a happy life look at the little boy in the picture...if I can have all of that than so can you my friend...

GOD loves you...and so do I...

Amen Ken!

God doesn't base his love for us on our looks or attitude in life. He loves us despite those things. He sent his son to die for all of us. I used to weigh 155 for the longest time and then my metabolism slowed down some and I didn't. I kept eating bad things like chips and dip before bed at night. I now weigh 225 and it affects me quite a bit. I get tired easily and I don't have the endurance. My wife is even heavier than I am, but I love her deeply and dearly. She was the workhorse when we moved out of our house and into the hotel the past few days.

One of the commandments Christ gives us is to Love our neighbors as ourselves. I think sometimes we love our neighbors better than ourselves and this is just as wrong. We are living in a time when suicides are on the increase. Much of it is due to depression.

Christ was victorious on the cross for us and in him is the key to battling depression and low self-esteem/image problems.

[LilLamb219]

Has anyone seen ILoveYeshua lately?

[Protoevangel]

Has anyone seen ILoveYeshua lately?
I hope I didn't drive hm away with my last post. I should have been gentler. ByzantineDixie's answer was much better than mine.

[C.F.W. Walther]

Mat 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Mat 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
Mat 7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
Mat 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
Mat 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

It is interesting to me that the flow from ask->receive into THEREFORE (love one another). There is another part like this:

Joh 14:11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.
Joh 14:12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
Joh 14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
Joh 14:14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
Joh 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.


See the transition again from ask->receive (in v12,13) into the v15 therefore if you love me, obey me.


and one other time (there are likely more)

Joh 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
Joh 15:8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
Joh 15:9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
Joh 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
Joh 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
Joh 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Joh 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Joh 15:14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
...
Joh 15:17 These things I command you, that ye love one another.

in v7: (ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. ) transitioning into v14 (Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. ) and then 17: the ultimate law: (These things I command you, that ye love one another. )


So it would stand to reason that my failure to obey the Lord and hearken unto his voice as zealously or diligently as I ought, has perhaps also led to my possibly not receiving the things I'm asking for. But if I had greater faith in Jesus, I would love him more, and thereby obey his commandments and it would come as no surprise to me that whatsoever I asked for I received.

Three transitions from ask->receive into "obey me". And it only makes sense that would be the case. Consider the first words out of Christ's mouth when he emerges from the desert temptations after his baptism.

Mat 4:9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
Mat 4:10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
Mat 4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
Mat 4:12 Now when Jesus had heard that John was cast into prison, he departed into Galilee;
Mat 4:13 And leaving Nazareth, he came and dwelt in Capernaum, which is upon the sea coast, in the borders of Zebulun and Naphtali:
Mat 4:14 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying,
Mat 4:15 The land of Zebulun, and the land of Naphtali, by the way of the sea, beyond Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles;
Mat 4:16 The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.
Mat 4:17 From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.


THE very first word was Repent. word2: the reason (for) is: The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Knockin on the door. You may as well consider it here already, for its inevitability is inescapable.

So it would stand to reason that my repentance has not been complete enough, and I need to reevaluate my actions in light of Christ's words. Things like, "sell all you have and give to the poor". Something I have not done, but which his disciples did do when they were following him upon the earth, and in the early church, and even throughout the AD timeframe in his real church.

Corneilius was fasting and praying for 3 days before Peter came unto him. Many are called but few are chosen. What's that mean to you?

Mat 22:12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
Mat 22:13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Mat 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.


So obviously I must repent more stringently and believe more completely than I even have up til now, or else my soul could be in danger. I believe in him. And he strengthens me. Without him I never would be able to do anything. And I know he has saved me, "it is finished" he said. But still I long to know him better and to understand what it means to be known by him.

We should all be like the people who threw themselves down at Jesus' feet and cried tears to wash his feet and dry them with our hair. We should love him that much, for we see that he accepted that praise and even praised her for her faith. For her faith. Because she saw that the Perfect Son was there in front of her - her only chance to ever escape hell and death. And she believed in him, and cast down her pride, and worshipped him. I want to be like them, because I know where they're going when they die. So I believe in him too, and I want to believe that much. And I know its probly gonna get me nailed up too, in one way or another, and I take up that cross. But I fear that I have not denied myself first, for the order of it was "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me". Well if you skip step 1 (repent was the first word out of his mouth after the temptations), or skip step 1 in this (deny yourself) how can you expect to make it to step 2 properly?

I know I've been sinful, I openly admit it. I'm a man, I've done bad things, and God understands, but he still doesn't like it when his kids do bad things, so sometimes he rebukes his kids. Whom he loves, he also rebukes. And perhaps I am simply being rebuked, and frankly it could be far worse. So I should be less like the Israelites who were complaining in the desert even though God was leading them with a pillar of fire by night, and instead simply be thankful, pray more, worry less, and chill out.

Everyone should probably chill out.

=) and repent

Matthew 3:10 And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

Luke 3:9 And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Luke 3:10 And the people asked him, saying, What shall we do then? Luke 3:11 He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.
- John the Baptist


So then its clear. My lack of charity and generosity has itself led to the unfulfillment of my requests. Because if I believed more, I would have more charity. So then what I have to do is clear also. I must give. all.

Even as Christ gave all for me and my brothers and sisters.

Perhaps even one of you will be motivated to give. all.


Sounds like you are trying to boil everything down into mystical formulas and explain God so you can understand him. It doesn't work that way. You'll NEVER know what God has on his mind so don't try to put him in a box. Read the Bible. Its says his ways are not our ways

[C.F.W. Walther]

ILY, your assessment that you are not charitable enough to have God answer your prayers is misguided. Certainly if you think you need to improve in this area, then you probably do but do not expect that in doing so God will grant you everything you want. As was pointed out earlier...some of the things we want and ask for in this world would be to our distruction if we actually got them. But our Lord, Who loves mankind, in His mercy he protects us from ourselves.

There is a sermon I have sent to people who are trying to understand God's answer to their prayers when things don't work out the way they want. It is written by a Lutheran pastor and is theologically sound. I hope this helps you.

St. John 16.23-30
In the Name of the Father and of the @ Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Dearly Beloved:
Today’s Gospel tends to disturb people like us. For we are impatient. We are used to getting or b