how should I handle this?

[kamikat]

Today, before lunch, my boys said their prayers. After that, Liam said that daddy didn't say his prayers before breakfast, while I was at church. I said that daddy doesn't say prayers. The kids then asked why he doesn't say prayers because he doesn't believe in Jesus. They wanted to know why and if he's going to hell. I just told them that I didn't know. They had lots more questions, but I didn't really know how to answer them. I know my older son has asked about his Jewish friends. What do I tell me kids about non-believers?

kamikat

[jckstraw72]

hmmm, Im no expert but I think the best would be to tell them that God's mercy is unlimited and we don't know who He will save and who will not be, and that they should pray for these people.

[MariaRegina]

Sometimes, when a wee one prays with sincerity for a non-believing parent, the non-believer is converted.

Children often do pray from the heart, and the Lord will answer them.

I remember during the 1987 earthquakes, my son had just turned three and was still in his terrible twos. He didn't like prayer.

Well, that Whittier earthquake scared him silly. I quickly told him to stand up (he was in bed with us) and to pray. He stood up and prayed as the earth shook violently,

"Jesus, stop this earthquake."

The earth stopped shaking immediately.

Ever since then, he has been a fervent believer in prayer.

[icxn]

Tell them:

"If there weren't any non-believers then the believers would be out of business, and would lose the reward of leading others to God with their good examples. For that reason God allows some people to not believe or what is worse to fight the Christians so that by their good deeds, pure life and teachings, the Martyr, the Preacher and the good Christian, can practice their virtues and win crowns.

Therefore, don't let the fact that your father does not believe right now upset you. In due time God will call him too, just make sure that you be good Christians and pray for him so that God's will be done."

Hope that helps.

[Theophorus]

Tell them that if they are worried about their father or friends, all they have to do is pray for them and God will hear their prayers.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God have mercy on __________.,

[Gnisios]

You may also ask them to make a difference with their faith by showing it through works, attitude and understanding. Believe me, people will notice and come to realize the dimensions of it. Sometimes what we do is much more important than trying to 'preach'. Let them see and they will come.

[ShannonMcCatholic]

In regards to their daddy, I have an unbelieving spouse. I have always tried to urge the kids to ask their dad about his beliefs, etc. I have always tried to emphasize that we wnat daddy to be a Christain so that he can know how much JEsus loves him, rather than puttin gthe emphasis on the hell aspect. As someone else said, it is a great opportunity to talk about the immensity of the mercy of Jesus and how just like in the case of the paralytic, the fervent faith of others can have the power to save!

[MariaRegina]

In regards to their daddy, I have an unbelieving spouse. I have always tried to urge the kids to ask their dad about his beliefs, etc. I have always tried to emphasize that we wnat daddy to be a Christain so that he can know how much JEsus loves him, rather than puttin gthe emphasis on the hell aspect. As someone else said, it is a great opportunity to talk about the immensity of the mercy of Jesus and how just like in the case of the paralytic, the fervent faith of others can have the power to save!


Beautifully stated. Have you ever visited a Byzantine or Melkite Eastern Catholic Church?

[kamikat]

The problem that I've noticed is that as I progress in my faith, he is becoming more and more antagonistic towards religion. When I first started going to church a few years ago, I think he thought it was just another phase. After all, he's been with me when I left Wiccan, investigated Bhuddism and Islam. I think he thought I'd investigate Christianity for a while, then drop it. It doesn't help that Orthodoxy has a bigger impact on his life than the other churches I go to since I'm gone longer on Sundays and now, during Lent, I'm sometimes gone during the week. I think he's gonna flip out during Holy Week.
kamikat

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Mark 13:10-12 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=48&chapter=13&verse=10&end_verse=12&version=50&context=context)

[Pravoslavnii]

I know my older son has asked about his Jewish friends. What do I tell me kids about non-believers?

kamikat

Tell him jews crucified Jesus. ;)

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Tell him jews crucified Jesus. ;)

NOT funny.

[TexasSky]

I would tell them that I love their father very much, and that Jesus loves their father very much, but Jesus won't force Daddy to love Jesus back. When they ask if he goes to hell, I would say, "Let's pray and ask Jesus to help Daddy learn to love Jesus so we don't ever have to worry about that."

[rusmeister]

NOT funny.
Agreed. We don't want to risk even accidentally inciting to hatred of an ethnicity for the sin of some of their ancestors. We need forgiveness just as much as the Jews.

[TexasSky]

Pravo,

Remember Christ was a Jew, as were the disciples.

Gentiles would not know of the salvation of Christ had Jews not obeyed Christ and taught the message of Christ.

[Xpycoctomos]

Tell him jews crucified Jesus. ;)

um... or tell them that we crucify Jesus jsut as much whenever we sin. just a thought.

[kamikat]

Tell him jews crucified Jesus. ;)

Just what I need, my 7 year old kid telling his classmates that they killed Jesus. That would get him kicked out of school.

kamikat

[choirfiend]

bad form! bad form!


I second the "some people believe different things; God loves everyone, and we should treat everyone with as much love as God has for them, or as much love as your daddy has for you" suggestion.

[Anhelyna]

You could also add that we trust Jesus to look after Daddy and we ask him to do so in all our prayers.

Your children are still very young and we have to be careful not to frighten them with thoughts that unless Daddy believes as they do - then he is not going to be with them in Heaven.

They need to learn that God's Mercy is infinite and beyond our understanding , and we therefore put our trust in Him

[Pravoslavnii]

Just what I need, my 7 year old kid telling his classmates that they killed Jesus. That would get him kicked out of school.

kamikat

Just kidding... American Orthodox definatly have a different sense of humour then European Orthodox... ;)

[choirfiend]

Yea, its still acceptable to discriminate/look down on/make fun of Jews in some places in Europe....that long history of jew-hatred hasn't gone away just because of WWII.

[Theophorus]

You could also add that we trust Jesus to look after Daddy and we ask him to do so in all our prayers.

Your children are still very young and we have to be careful not to frighten them with thoughts that unless Daddy believes as they do - then he is not going to be with them in Heaven.

They need to learn that God's Mercy is infinite and beyond our understanding , and we therefore put our trust in Him

I agree with Anhelyna. They are young. Keep it simple and unthreatening.

[Pravoslavnii]

Yea, its still acceptable to discriminate/look down on/make fun of Jews in some places in Europe....that long history of jew-hatred hasn't gone away just because of WWII.

As much as I would like to respond to this post with a juicy response, I won't as it would be too off-topic.. Just keep on believing in what you see on Foxnews and CNN and other ... channels and you'll see the light, .

[Xpycoctomos]

Just kidding... American Orthodox definatly have a different sense of humour then European Orthodox... ;)

It's just not a good joke in an open forum, regardless of one's sense of humor. The Orthodox Church (especially the Russian Orthodox Church) is already suspect of turning a blind eye or even being behind persecution of Jews. Regardless of if this is true or not, is really quite irrelevant. Your comment only gives fuel to the fire (the suspicion and distrust) many have of the Slavic Churches.

We need Christ as our Lord and Savior just as much Jewish people do.

Although the tone of Choirfiend's post may have not been what you would have preferred, you should be aware (and probalby are) that Neo-Nazi groups in Western Europe are on the rise, evidence of more antisemitism. So, this is a problem that shouldn't be assumed died when Hitler shot himself.
I response to your later post:


As much as I would like to respond to this post with a juicy response, I won't as it would be too off-topic.. Just keep on believing in what you see on Foxnews and CNN and other ... channels and you'll see the light, .


I assume you are referring to America's virtually blind acceptance and trust of almost anything Isreal does. That may be a rightful criticism of our politics and society (it is true, you have to be VERY VERY careful here anytime you criticize a Jewish person for fear that yo might be labelled and anti-semite when all your were doing was criticizing a person who happened to be Jewish), but after WWII and the atrocity that happened to the Jewish people, such sensitivity in the West should be understandable. I suppose that means that we should try to be more understanding when we criticise Eastern politics and atrocities that we have never lived through as you may have. I will try to keep that in mind.

John

[drpepper101]

Yea, its still acceptable to discriminate/look down on/make fun of Jews in some places in Europe....that long history of jew-hatred hasn't gone away just because of WWII.

Sort of like American politicians expoliting popular xenophobia against Muslims and/or Latin American immigrents to garner votes? Given America's history with treatment of minorities I really think this is a case in which those that live in glass houses would be well advised to not throw stones.

[choirfiend]

I'm not trying to say Americans are even free from anti-semitism, let alone another plethora of problems--just stating fact as evidenced by events even today in Europe.

[drpepper101]

I'm not trying to say Americans are even free from anti-semitism, let alone another plethora of problems--just stating fact as evidenced by events even today in Europe.

Does your statement match reality though? In most places in Europe it is illegal to say things that are anti-Semitic or to make racist comments. The US has deemed these things to be protected by it's law, and the Nazi's of the world have flocked to put up their websites on American servers. It is more or less like the way many Americans comment on the way Europeans treat Gypsies. While completely ignoring the way Americans have treated and do treat the black minority. Sure, on an individual level anti-Semitism is the old world prejudice of choice, and is passed along as such. The same thing can easily be said of the way many white American feel about black Americans. What is really the problem with your statement is that it lacks the basic Christian wisdom of not standing in judgement of others. You could have said, "that joke was not funny and anti-Semitism shouldn't be made light of." Instead you chose to pass a judgement about "Europeans" and as such have to answer for the past and current realities of America. As Jesus said, judge not and you will not be judged. Or perhaps we should be reminded not to worry about the spec of sawdust in our brother's eye when we have a log in our own.

[choirfiend]

Does your statement match reality though? In most places in Europe it is illegal to say things that are anti-Semitic or to make racist comments. The US has deemed these things to be protected by it's law, and the Nazi's of the world have flocked to put up their websites on American servers. It is more or less like the way many Americans comment on the way Europeans treat Gypsies. While completely ignoring the way Americans have treated and do treat the black minority. Sure, on an individual level anti-Semitism is the old world prejudice of choice, and is passed along as such. The same thing can easily be said of the way many white American feel about black Americans. What is really the problem with your statement is that it lacks the basic Christian wisdom of not standing in judgement of others. You could have said, "that joke was not funny and anti-Semitism shouldn't be made light of." Instead you chose to pass a judgement about "Europeans" and as such have to answer for the past and current realities of America. As Jesus said, judge not and you will not be judged. Or perhaps we should be reminded not to worry about the spec of sawdust in our brother's eye when we have a log in our own.

I mentioned an attitude still more acceptable (even in making jokes in poor taste) in Europe because the OP of the joke mentioned how American and European senses of humor are different. Sorry to have offended.

[choirfiend]

And yup, Americans have LOTS o problems. I have personally been attacked because of being friends with gay people, and know many of the amazingly strong men and women who were the generation (and literally the children) who de-segregated the schools in Arkansas and Georgia. America has many, many problems. But as whole, we demonstrated here that a joke such as the one offered is wrong and against the Orthodox Christian teaching. So, I was less focused on Americans and more focused on the European acceptance of styles of jokes as experienced in my travels there and from the testimony of my European (mostly French) friends. Again, please forgive me for any scandal caused.

[jckstraw72]

methinks it best to recognize it as a joke (the winking eye gave it away) and move on.

[ShannonMcCatholic]

The problem that I've noticed is that as I progress in my faith, he is becoming more and more antagonistic towards religion. When I first started going to church a few years ago, I think he thought it was just another phase. After all, he's been with me when I left Wiccan, investigated Bhuddism and Islam. I think he thought I'd investigate Christianity for a while, then drop it. It doesn't help that Orthodoxy has a bigger impact on his life than the other churches I go to since I'm gone longer on Sundays and now, during Lent, I'm sometimes gone during the week. I think he's gonna flip out during Holy Week.
kamikatFirst let me give you a big :hug:

Second, have you talked to your spiritual father about this? About the impact at home? Have you asked what he thought would be the prudent course of action in regards to Liturgy attendance, particularly for Holy Week?

Third, in my experience, it will take your husband time to adjust to who you are becoming....it impacts him as well, if you are growing in holiness (which is good, because that sanctifies him as well! :). But it can be a scary thing for him too- both in regards to things you and he might not be able to do together anymore, becuase they are not compatible with your new life in Christ.

Also, with my husband one of his biggest fears is that he will not be the husband that I need, nor the father our kids need. He feels that since he isn't "Catholic-dad" that he is causing us to be lacking. It took many years for him to be able to put that into words for me, but that really set my mind at ease-- it wasn't that he was resentful of our Faith, but rather afraid.

Several years ago now, the Holy Spirit just really kicked me in the behind and told me just to live my Faith boldly, and that He would smooth over everything at home. All I had to do was agree to keep trying to allow the Holy Spirit to transform me ever more into Jesus, to agree to cooperate with the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. I haven't always been faithful to my part, but the Holy Spirit sure has!

I am sorry for your struggles, I know how hard and alienating it can be!:hug:

[Xpycoctomos]

Does your statement match reality though? In most places in Europe it is illegal to say things that are anti-Semitic or to make racist comments. The US has deemed these things to be protected by it's law, and the Nazi's of the world have flocked to put up their websites on American servers. It is more or less like the way many Americans comment on the way Europeans treat Gypsies. While completely ignoring the way Americans have treated and do treat the black minority. Sure, on an individual level anti-Semitism is the old world prejudice of choice, and is passed along as such. The same thing can easily be said of the way many white American feel about black Americans. What is really the problem with your statement is that it lacks the basic Christian wisdom of not standing in judgement of others. You could have said, "that joke was not funny and anti-Semitism shouldn't be made light of." Instead you chose to pass a judgement about "Europeans" and as such have to answer for the past and current realities of America. As Jesus said, judge not and you will not be judged. Or perhaps we should be reminded not to worry about the spec of sawdust in our brother's eye when we have a log in our own.

If you look at the stats regarding neo-nazi groups and the like in Europe compared to those of America, you will see that what Choirfiend said is a very fair analysis of this growing problem in Europe. To be sure, it is growing here. But much faster in Western Europe. What first tipped me off to this was the news reports regarding this problem i saw in Spain after Lupen won the Priamaries and france. And then again the various news reports I saw on French TV while was there two summers ago. From there I just became aware of the other, overlooked, news stories. Hate criimes agains Jewish people in France and Germany are the rise (unless something drastic changed in the last year).

So yes, it's quite warranted.

[kamikat]

First let me give you a big :hug:

Second, have you talked to your spiritual father about this? About the impact at home? Have you asked what he thought would be the prudent course of action in regards to Liturgy attendance, particularly for Holy Week?



Thanks for the hugs!
Well, we've talked briefly about how my progress might affect my homelife, but there are things I need to do that I don't want to do. I have a history of physical abuse by partners and, while my husband is the most wonderful man I've ever known, in the back of my mind, I'm still afraid to "rock the boat". We did have a long talk last night when I finally got the nerve to ask him if he had any questions about the Church. His family stopped going to church when he was really young. The only exposure he's had to orginized religion were the Jesuits at his private high school and living in a very Jewish area. He knew what the Catholic church was from religion classes in high school. His concern was that the Orthodox Church was to Catholicism as Orthodox Judiaism is to Reformed Judiaism. We talked about the differences between the two churches, as I see them. He is now much more comfortable with what's going on.
kamikat

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Thanks for the hugs!
Well, we've talked briefly about how my progress might affect my homelife, but there are things I need to do that I don't want to do. I have a history of physical abuse by partners and, while my husband is the most wonderful man I've ever known, in the back of my mind, I'm still afraid to "rock the boat". We did have a long talk last night when I finally got the nerve to ask him if he had any questions about the Church. His family stopped going to church when he was really young. The only exposure he's had to orginized religion were the Jesuits at his private high school and living in a very Jewish area. He knew what the Catholic church was from religion classes in high school. His concern was that the Orthodox Church was to Catholicism as Orthodox Judiaism is to Reformed Judiaism. We talked about the differences between the two churches, as I see them. He is now much more comfortable with what's going on.
kamikat
I am so sorry for your abuse...that can be such a horrible, gaping wound to heal from! It can be so hard to act out of the part of us that is well and healing, rather than the part that is broken and scared.

Keep bringing everything into the light! Both at home and with your priest...I have found that is the most powerful weapon I have in my aresenal against the Darkness.

I am so happy that y'all were able to talk about it! Just keep talking-then he will always feel as a part of your becoming!