A confused Christian speaks out... [Archive]

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searching_for_answers

12th March 2006, 04:31 PM

newbeliever02072005

12th March 2006, 05:00 PM

Hi everyone

I'm very pleased to meet all of you and relieved to have finally found such a place. I have been looking for a forum like this for a L-O-N-G time and I noticed that this one even includes a variety of health topics which is a double-bonus for me since I suffer from anxiety, depression, alcoholism, etc.

Welcome to the forums. I hope that you feel blessed here and welcomed. :)

Anyway, I was raised a strict Baptist and everything we (me, my brother, sister, etc) did growing up as kids seemed to revolve around the church. I am 42 years old and am a born again Christian and believe everything the Bible say's and make a sincere effort to live by it on a day-to-day basis - even though I am shy and never go to Church and even though I get distracted and can never seem to find "time" to read the Bible that often. I do enjoy watching religious programs on TV though and I have a few that passionately inspire me and even make me cry.

There is a devotional section of this forum that you might want to visit daily. Here is the link:

http://www.christianforums.com/devotionals

My main reason for posting today is because I just finished watching a religious documentary and several verses were quoted that I found deeply troublesome and confusing. While I don't remember them specifically, most of them basically stated that all cowards, the sexually immoral, liars, etc would burn in Hell for eternity. This lead me to wonder if even a SAVED person (ie; a true Christian) could go to Hell for telling a lie or for having an affair. I'm not sure why a "coward" would be in danger of Hell and I'm not even exactly sure what the Bible means by the word "coward". Does it mean that if I don't act "tough and assertive" that I could burn in Hell even though I AM a Christian?.

These thoughts and the Christian documentary I watched a short time ago have been troubling me all day now and I am desparate for answers.

I am not sure what documentary you are referring to. But I would like to offer some advice. Take those scriptures that you are finding troubling and PRAY over them. Then take and ask a pastor about them or seek guidance from a spiritually mature christain that can help you with them. As a new christian I am always coming across a scripture that puzzles me. I just pray that God helps me to find the truth in it. Then to guide me to the place I need to go for the answers. Sometimes its here at CF, sometimes its through an email to a church member or sometimes its me taking it directly to the pastor at my church. I have come to realize that learning takes time and patience. I am not saying I am always patient, but I do know it requires it. All in God's perfect timing.

Also, I have gotten myself into this pattern over the years where I will have a very brief, one-night affair (not always purely "sexual") and then break it off the next day, feel extreme guilt/remorse and then ask God for forgiveness. Then, maybe a month later, I end up repeating the same cycle and feeling like a complete fool...almost like I'm making a mockery of God even thought that is the very LAST thing I intend to do!. I mean, how many times can you sin and then say "oh gee, I'm sorry". And yet even the Bible say's that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God so I guess even Christians sin from time to time?.

Then, there's my alcohol and smoking which is also a sin and in engaging in these self-destructive behaviors, I am defiling God's temple and thus sinning and yet I am addicted and do not drink or smoke because I want to but rather, because I am very addicted and even though I've said many prayers (as has my family and church), it seems like God has chosen to allow me to continue down this path (for whatever reason). Perhaps he wants me to hit "rock bottom" or something. I have no idea.

There is a couple of different forums that might help with the specific problems you want to deal with. Here is the link to the "Recovery" section that has a few subforums in it.

http://www.christianforums.com/f92-recovery.html

another one you might like is the Men's corner:

http://www.christianforums.com/f46-mens-corner.html

I hope they might help. I do always and also enjoy coming here to B/A. The people that come here are very friendly and have a lot of well thought out thoughts and beliefs. Friendly as well! :)

Anyway, I would be so greatful for some input on these issues and once again, I am very happy to have discovered this forum as it looks like a very large, busy and diverse one with lots of freindly and supportive people.

- Warm regards, Tim

I know I really didn't help with the deep scriptural questions that you have, but I am a new christian and really have a long ways to go to be deep rooted into the word to be able to give input or advice about it. My comfort right now is to learn, learn and learn. :)

I will send a prayer up for you that you will continue to feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit to change the things in your heart that you feel are troublesome to you. That you will feel comfortable in seperating yourself from the world to be one with God.

God Bless,
Newbeliever :wave:

Phileoeklogos

12th March 2006, 07:44 PM

Welcome Aboard,
We have all done things that we know are sin, and dishonor God, Could I offer some advice?

I think the best advice that I could give you is to find a local church, nothing can replace the fellowship of the saints, the tv and the internet are both poor substitutes, I know you said you were shy, but to be frank with you, I think the shame of your sin is what keeps you out, churches are full of shy people and by your own admission, your shyness doesn't keep you from attending to other things that are of no profit to you whatsoever.

I'm not trying to be hurtful, I will pray for you and want God's best for you, and if you want to live the Christian life, start today, confess your heart to the Lord, get out your Bible and make time to read it every day,( Romans chap 6,7& 8 may be a good place to start ), and as soon as possible join a local church and participate in that fellowship, I think you'll be surprised at how things will turn around.

God Bless You,
Phil

jochanaan

12th March 2006, 08:15 PM

Welcome, Tim! It is indeed wonderful to find a forum on which to discuss such questions.

Regarding sin, you know that even a single sin is an abomination in God's eyes, so that none of us, not one, is righteous in His reckoning. But Jesus paid the ultimate penalty so we would not have to. It is His righteousness that will get us to Heaven--not our own, which is "as filthy rags."

The trouble comes with those who deliberately continue in sins such as adultery, lying, and thievery. These are already judged and found guilty.

Now, does even one act of sexual sin, one lie, one failure to hold firm under hard testing (for this is cowardice), condemn us to Hell forever? Only if we will not turn from it. Jesus died for each one of our sins--both before and after we accept Him. And He understands that we are still imperfect humans.

What is its opposite of cowardice? It is not stubbornness or bullying others; indeed, real gentleness requires tremendous courage. Bravery is standing firm in your convictions regardless of who attacks you for them. It is being respectful and gentle in the face of scorn and condemnation, even if they come from your fellow believers or your loved ones. It's the kind of inner strength that often comes from hard testing. It is a spiritual gift. And, like most spiritual gifts, it often becomes evident only when the need is there.

As for your addictions to alcohol, tobacco, and one-night stands, they are not in themselves sin, but rather like a physical disease. The Lord is well able to heal such--but such healing often comes about only through much prayer and perhaps even fasting. This is a very legitimate occasion to call your church around you, confess your addictions as you would confess cancer or heart disease, and ask for prayer.

Christianity, as you probably know by now, is not a bunch of rules and regulations; it's a restored relationship with the King of Kings through the intercession of His Son, Jesus of Nazareth our Savior and Captain. Praise His Name that He did not leave us to muddle through on our own, but has poured out His Holy Spirit on all humanity if they will only accept Him!

I hope this helps.

searching_for_answers

12th March 2006, 09:33 PM

Thank you sooooo much people!. I found the replies to my post both heartwarming and inspiring. The documentory I mentioned earlier was actually a rather dated Christian movie (perhaps from the early 70's) and they kept showing people screaming in agony and flames licking up around them and a lot of other gruesome scenes. In fact, this whole movie seemed to be one big "Hell-fest" and it terrified me quite a bit and made me feel like if I evened breathed the "wrong" way, I might end up there - even though I am most definately a Christian. I was even crying over it because it bothered me so much.

As far as my alcoholism, nicotine addiction and affairs are concerned, the one that bothers me the most is the very latter but of course, God say's that "sin is sin" wether you kill a puppy or cough in someone's face (of course, not his exact words). However (and for whatever reason) I don't feel nearly as much guilt over drinking and smoking as I do the affairs I somtimes have and I can't understand why. I also feel so totally powerless to do anything about this. I pray and find other things to occupy my time or just wrap myself up in my work and that helps a lot to get my mind off of "messing around" but then the dam finally "bursts" at some point and I go ahead and have one anyway and the whole cycle just keeps repeating itself. I mean...I'm a male, unmarried and have a lot of idiosyncrasies and psych issues which makes me unattractive to the opposite sex so it's just kind of a tough road to hoe for me and I am constantly struggling with it.

Anyway, I want to say thank you again for the very detailed and helpful replies. They mean a lot to me and I am very happy to have discover this place. Take care and I'll write again soon (heck, I might even hang my hat here and create a profile) :)

- Regards, Tim

jochanaan

12th March 2006, 09:49 PM

As far as my alcoholism, nicotine addiction and affairs are concerned, the one that bothers me the most is the very latter but of course, God say's that "sin is sin" wether you kill a puppy or cough in someone's face (of course, not his exact words). However (and for whatever reason) I don't feel nearly as much guilt over drinking and smoking as I do the affairs I somtimes have and I can't understand why. I also feel so totally powerless to do anything about this. I pray and find other things to occupy my time or just wrap myself up in my work and that helps a lot to get my mind off of "messing around" but then the dam finally "bursts" at some point and I go ahead and have one anyway and the whole cycle just keeps repeating itself. I mean...I'm a male, unmarried and have a lot of idiosyncrasies and psych issues which makes me unattractive to the opposite sex so it's just kind of a tough road to hoe for me and I am constantly struggling with it.
This sounds like a case in which psychological counseling might help. There's some danger there, of course; but psychology is not the "devilish lie" that some still believe it is. I myself was in counseling for some four years as my marriage blew up in my face, and it has helped me a lot. If you prefer not to go that route, and your pastor is trained in counseling, perhaps s/he might be able to help, or suggest help.

May the Lord bless you and deliver you from all your addictions, especially the addiction to one-night stands, through the Spirit's power and in Jesus' name. Amen.

arunma

12th March 2006, 10:09 PM

Then, there's my alcohol and smoking which is also a sin and in engaging in these self-destructive behaviors, I am defiling God's temple and thus sinning and yet I am addicted and do not drink or smoke because I want to but rather, because I am very addicted and even though I've said many prayers (as has my family and church), it seems like God has chosen to allow me to continue down this path (for whatever reason). Perhaps he wants me to hit "rock bottom" or something. I have no idea.

Hello my friend. I don't want to start giving you advice, for the simple reason that I don't feel qualified to counsel someone twice my age. But let me simply say that drinking isn't intrinsically sinful. Drunkenness is sinful. Most people at my church are quite fond of the occasional beer or wine, and we are able to do this, giving thanks to God, without practicing drunkenness.

Now if you say that you are addicted to alcohol (it wasn't clear from your post whether you are addicted to alcohol or tobacco), then perhaps it may be impossible for you personally to drink without getting drunk, and thus for you, drinking may be a sin. But it's important to note that the Bible does not prohibit all alcohol consumption.

jochanaan

12th March 2006, 10:32 PM

...But let me simply say that drinking isn't intrinsically sinful. Drunkenness is sinful...
Very true. And that was why I specifically avoided praying "Deliver him from all alcohol," but prayed rather, "Deliver him from his addictions."

arunma

12th March 2006, 10:44 PM

Very true. And that was why I specifically avoided praying "Deliver him from all alcohol," but prayed rather, "Deliver him from his addictions."

This is rather interesting. When my pastor started his position at my church -- back in 1981, before I was even born -- it seems that one of his first actions was to rephrase the church policy against drinking, to refer only to addictions which are harmful to the body (which, depending on the person, may or may not include alcohol consumption). Despite being a teetotaler himself, he also was convinced that the Bible doesn't specifically speak out against alcohol. So needless to say, I fully agree with the way in which
04 you've worded this.

Anyway, I don't want to get too far off topic...

Danfrey

12th March 2006, 10:54 PM

Well, I have read the previous posts and I will start this one off by saying that I am not going to be nearly as nice. Let me first say that I understand where you are at because I have been there. There is a good reason that movie had you in tears. If you keep going down the road you are on you will end up in hell. Do I say this to be mean? No, I say this because I have been there. I remember walking into a church and having the tears pour down my face until I left. I know what it feels like to know that the stupid choices I am making are leading me further away from God. It took several near death experiences and two rotten marriages to bring me to the point of finally surrendering all to Christ. The last thing you need right now is someone to tickle your ears. I would rather you be ticked off at me and on the right track than tickle your ears all the way to hell. Now for the good news.

There is hope. That is why Jesus died on the cross. The first thing you need to do is come clean with some Christian brothers. It is going to take total honesty to get past your addictions. If it takes being around brothers 24/7 to keep you off the alcohol and away from the ladies, then that is what you need to do. As long as you hide away at home you are not going to conquer this. Let me tell you this. The day I layed the alcohol down at the alter, I have never craved a drink since. Jesus spilled the blood so that you can be free from this addiction. You need to focus your life on Christ. There is obviously something missing that you are filling with alcohol and sex. Fill that hole with the love of Christ.

Let me sum it up....You need to develop some Christian male accountability.

searching_for_answers

12th March 2006, 11:05 PM

This is rather interesting. When my pastor started his position at my church -- back in 1981, before I was even born -- it seems that one of his first actions was to rephrase the church policy against drinking, to refer only to addictions which are harmful to the body (which, depending on the person, may or may not include alcohol consumption). Despite being a teetotaler himself, he also was convinced that the Bible doesn't specifically speak out against alcohol. So needless to say, I fully agree with the way in which
04 you've worded this.

Anyway, I don't want to get too far off topic...
My father thinks it's a sin for me to take medication for my anxiety disorder because in doing so, I am not "trusting" him (God) to cure me and am therefore calling God a "liar". He has repeated this many times. He also considers drinking a sin as well as just about everything else human beings do (or don't do) on a daily basis. He has also told me that repeating the same sin(s) can lead God to actually kill you rather than to leave you here on earth as a "bad whitness". It is this type of background I was brought up in and perhaps why I suffer from scrupulosity and a few other related connditions. I had a very strict upbringing and I often wonder wether my father's teaching were correct or perhaps just a little bit radical. I know in my heart that I am a Christian but Hell is a pretty serious place to end up so I'm always feeling like I need to get reassurances that I'm not doing anything that would put me there and each time I sin, I almost feel like I'm "sliding" closer to the "other side". Wow, I sound like I'm going off the deep end here but I just wanted to share a few things with all of you about myself :)

PS: No, I've never been to counselling (long and scary story).

Thank's again for the support and encouragement.

searching_for_answers

12th March 2006, 11:16 PM

To Danfrey

No, I'm not at all offended by your frankness and I do appreciate your honesty. I'm sure as I post and receive replies, I will get different opinions from people who come from various walks of life and who have had a diverse array of experiences and I am taking all of them into account and welcome them with open arms. I gave up alcohol for a year and a half and then relapsed. During that years and a half when I was sober, it felt great. Unfortunately, one day while at the store, I rather impulsively got the idea in my head that beer, pizza and a nice cigar would make a great combination. Well, that started the ball rolling and here I am once again...an alcoholic and it's tough because it's not just something you can snap out of or wish away. It's a powerful addiction and even prayer does'nt see, to be working this time around which is why I'm starting to wonder if perhaps God wants me to hit rock bottom before he helps me this time around. I just don't know.

- Regards, Tim

searching_for_answers

12th March 2006, 11:18 PM

Sorry, I did'nt mean to double-post...

Danfrey

12th March 2006, 11:23 PM

I can't emphasize enough that you need to be around other Christians during this time. When I got off the alcohol, I became active in a local church. I was so busy serving God that I didn't have time to think about drinking. There are alot of great resources available to you. The most important thing for you right now is not to spend too much time alone. It sounds like you haven't had the best example of Christian love in your life. Let me tell you, there are people out there ready to walk beside you as you make this journey. You in turn will walk beside someone else one day when they make the same journey. It is amazing how God can take our mistakes and turn them into a witness for someone else.

Let me add something about the psych meds. If your doctor believes you need to be on them, don't hesitate to take them. Last year when the beautiful lady in the picture above was diagnosed with Cancer, she and I started having bouts of depression. We knew she spiritually ready to pass on, but we still dealt with depression. Our doctor put us both on an antidepressant and we continued taking them for several months as we came to grips with her illness. One day the day came that we were able to go off of them. We actually spent her last two months alive without them, but when she started dealing with severe pain the day before she died I didn't hesistate to give her morphine. Depression is a medical condition. It is no different than taking high blood pressure medicine or alergy medicine. The anti-depressants that they prescribe today are not the same as they were years ago. You can't get high from the stuff they give you now. It takes a couple of weeks to build up in you system and work properly.

So, let me add to my former advice. First, make some Christian friends and spend lots of time with them. Be honest with them about what you are going through. If you fail, tell them as soon as it happens. I still struggle with temptation to view internet pornography, but the last time I blew it, I met with a Christian friend of mine to tell him what happened. We prayed together and I made a point of telling him everyday that I was having a good day. It has been quite awhile since the temptation has crept back up. If I would have hidden it, it would be nagging at me still.

Also, go see a doctor. It will help tremendously if you get the depression stabilized. BTW, the alcohol doesn't help the depression much.

searching_for_answers

12th March 2006, 11:36 PM

I could'nt agree with you more Danfrey. I spend entirely too much time sitting here in my home office and only rarely get out to see other people. I've always been kind of a shy, introverted type of person and this is also something that needs to be worked on but I'll definately look forward to hanging out here as I struggle with this beast called alcoholism and appreaciate all the prayers and support I get. I really do want this thing off my back and I want to feel sober and normal again.

- Regards, Tim

Danfrey

12th March 2006, 11:43 PM

Tim,

I have a challenge for you. Come back on tomarrow and tell us that it has been 24 hours since you had a drink. Let us all encourage you one day at a time.

DeaconDean

13th March 2006, 12:30 AM

I'm very pleased to meet all of you and relieved to have finally found such a place. I have been looking for a forum like this for a L-O-N-G time and I noticed that this one even includes a variety of health topics which is a double-bonus for me since I suffer from anxiety, depression, alcoholism, etc.

First off, hello and welcome to the forum and the B/A threads.

Anyway, I was raised a strict Baptist and everything we (me, my brother, sister, etc) did growing up as kids seemed to revolve around the church. I am 42 years old and am a born again Christian and believe everything the Bible say's and make a sincere effort to live by it on a day-to-day basis - even though I am shy and never go to Church and even though I get distracted and can never seem to find "time" to read the Bible that often. I do enjoy watching religious programs on TV though and I have a few that passionately inspire me and even make me cry.

Baptist here too. Shyness isn't uncommon among believers. I don't know how many have hid behind that as an excuse not to go out witnessing. Shyness can be overcome. I agree that the TV and the internet make poor substitutes for church attendance. You really should get in a church as soon as possible, the fellowship among the believers is absolutely wonderful.

My main reason for posting today is because I just finished watching a religious documentary and several verses were quoted that I found deeply troublesome and confusing. While I don't remember them specifically, most of them basically stated that all cowards, the sexually immoral, liars, etc would burn in Hell for eternity. This lead me to wonder if even a SAVED person (ie; a true Christian) could go to Hell for telling a lie or for having an affair. I'm not sure why a "coward" would be in danger of Hell and I'm not even exactly sure what the Bible means by the word "coward". Does it mean that if I don't act "tough and assertive" that I could burn in Hell even though I AM a Christian?.

I will not condemn you for your actions. We all in here at one time or another have fallen short of the mark. The Bible does say that many showed signs of cowardice.
Examples:
INSTANCES OF
Adam, in attempting to shift responsibility for his sin upon Eve
Genesis 3:12 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ge+3:12)
Abraham, in calling his wife his sister
Genesis 12:11-19 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ge+12:11-19); 20:2-12 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ge+20:2-12)
Isaac, in calling his wife his sister
Genesis 26:7-9 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ge+26:7-9)
Jacob, in flying from Laban
Genesis 31:31 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ge+31:31)
Aaron, in yielding to the Israelites, when they demanded an idol
Exodus 32:22-24 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ex+32:22-24)
The ten spies
Numbers 13:28,31-33 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=nu+13:28,31-33)
The Israelites
In fearing to attempt the conquest of Canaan
Numbers 14:1-5 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=nu+14:1-5); Deuteronomy 1:26-28 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=de+1:26-28)
In the battle with the people of Ai
Joshua 7:5 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=jos+7:5)
To meet Goliath
1 Samuel 17:24 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1sa+17:24)
To fight with the Philistines
1 Samuel 13:6,7 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1sa+13:6,7)
20,000 Of Gideon’s army
Judges 7:3 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=jud+7:3)
Ephraimites
Psalms 78:9 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ps+78:9)
Ephraimites and Manassehites
Joshua 17:14-18 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=jos+17:14-18)
Amoritish kings
Joshua 10:16 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=jos+10:16)
Canaanites
Joshua 2:11 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=jos+2:11); 5:1 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=jos+5:1)
Samuel, fearing to obey God’s command to anoint a king in Saul’s place
1 Samuel 16:2 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1sa+16:2)
David, in fleeing from Absalom
2 Samuel 15:13-17 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2sa+15:13-17)
Nicodemus, in coming to Jesus by night
John 3:1,2 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+3:1,2)
Joseph of Arimathaea, secretly a disciple
John 19:38 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+19:38)
Parents of the blind man, who was restored to sight
John 9:22 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+9:22)
Early converts among the rulers
John 12:42,43 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+12:42,43)
The disciples
During the storm at sea
Matthew 8:26 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mt+8:26); Mark 4:38 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mr+4:38); Luke 8:25 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=lu+8:25)
When they saw Jesus walking on the sea
Matthew 14:25 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mt+14:25); Mark 6:50 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mr+6:50); John 6:19 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+6:19)
When Jesus was apprehended
Matthew 26:56 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mt+26:56)
Peter, in denying the Lord
Matthew 26:69-74 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mt+26:69-74); Mark 14:66-72 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mr+14:66-72); Luke 22:54-60 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=lu+22:54-60); John 18:16,17,25,27 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+18:16,17,25,27)
Pilate, in condemning Jesus, through fear of the people
John 19:12-16 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=joh+19:12-16)
Guards of the sepulcher of Jesus
Matthew 28:4 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=mt+28:4)
The Philippian jailer
Acts 16:27 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ac+16:27)
Peter and other Christians, at Antioch (of Syria)
Galatians 2:11-14 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=ga+2:11-14)http://bible1.crosswalk.com/Concordances/NavesTopicalBible/ntb.cgi

These thoughts and the Christian documentary I watched a short time ago have been troubling me all day now and I am desparate for answers.

Also, I have gotten myself into this pattern over the years where I will have a very brief, one-night affair (not always purely "sexual") and then break it off the next day, feel extreme guilt/remorse and then ask God for forgiveness. Then, maybe a month later, I end up repeating the same cycle and feeling like a complete fool...almost like I'm making a mockery of God even thought that is the very LAST thing I intend to do!. I mean, how many times can you sin and then say "oh gee, I'm sorry". And yet even the Bible say's that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God so I guess even Christians sin from time to time?.

Then, there's my alcohol and smoking which is also a sin and in engaging in these self-destructive behaviors, I am defiling God's temple and thus sinning and yet I am addicted and do not drink or smoke because I want to but rather, because I am very addicted and even though I've said many prayers (as has my family and church), it seems like God has chosen to allow me to continue down this path (for whatever reason). Perhaps he wants me to hit "rock bottom" or something. I have no idea.

Anyway, I would be so greatful for some input on these issues and once again, I am very happy to have discovered this forum as it looks like a very large, busy and diverse one with lots of freindly and supportive people.

Let me say, one addict to another, if you let the Lord work He can take these addictions from you. Let me say also that the day I redicated my life to him, He removed all my desires to smoke pot and drink. I have been clean for 9 years now. And I don't regret a minute of it. Prais e God! But I do have some concerns about the "affairs." And when you say affairs I assume that you are married. You really should stop it right away. I can not candy coat it, I must tell you what the Bible says:

"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." -1 Cor. 6:9-10

Get in church, make Christian friends, be reconciled to God and your wife. Like I said, I won't condemn you but I can pray for you. And that's what I'll do. Get in the Bible and get in church friend. God Bless.

JPPT1974

13th March 2006, 05:07 PM

Praying for you my friend
Just lean on the Lord
Let Him have His way with you!

searching_for_answers

13th March 2006, 07:06 PM

Hi all!

I wish I had more time to talk at the moment but I just wanted to say that for the first time in a L-O-N-G time...I have remained sober and cigarette-free for a whole day and plan to keep on going like this...one day at a time. I feel GREAT but also I'm going through withdrawl so I'm a bit irritable, emotional, upset stomach, etc. Today has been kind of a "fog" but I have managed to get some thjings done around the house. My father even wrote me a nice letter. Well, I'll write more later when/if I feel better and I really appreciate all the support and prayers from all of you. This place makes my day every time I come here. PRAISE GOD AND HERE'S LOOKING FORWARD TO A SECOND DAY SOBER AND SMOKE-FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :clap:

jochanaan

13th March 2006, 08:21 PM

That's great, SFA! Congratulations! And from what I've heard and read about addictions like yours, it's normal to have lots of negative emotions. Just remember, emotions don't matter to your salvation.

Among other things, I also pray for the healing of your relationship with your father. May God turn his heart to you, and your heart to him, that you both may be healed.

Hang in there! You're not doing this alone; as much as we can be, we're here for you.

MatthewDiscipleofGod

13th March 2006, 09:25 PM

Hello Tim, I pray that my past experiences will help me to assist you. By the grace of God I have been delievered from weekend drunken parties and doing various illegal drugs. First of all make sure you have repented from your sins and turned to Jesus to save you. No amount of good works will help you get to heaven. Only turning not just your mind but your heart to God will make any difference.

As for the passages you were concerned about let me post them in context.

(1Co 6:9) Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,

(1Co 6:10) nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

(1Co 6:11) And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

As you can see by the part I put in bold and underline that some of the Christians there did some of those very things. No sin is too great that it can't forgiven. That doesn't mean you should feel free to sin. If you even think that thought you should read James and check to make sure you were ever born again to begin with.

Now to address those addictions. It's not easy my friend. Your not going to become clean overnight. You'll want to get into the Bible more then what it sounds like you have been. To avoid temptation you need to know the Word. That is a primary way God talks to us today. That is what Jesus used against Satan and his temptations in the desert. Also avoid tempation by staying away from it and surround yourself with people that can keep you accountable. So for example activate your vchip on your tv and put in something random for a password so you can't unlock it. That way your not tempted to have a one night stand. Don't go to parties or near a bar where there is drinking going on. Some things may not be sinful but if they will cause you to sin you might as well avoid them. Sometimes it may be wise to avoid them forever. I know your not a big people person and I am not either. It took a lot for me to finally go to church for the first time after being saved and not knowing a person there. If it is a good church they'll make you feel welcomed and many good churches have programs that help people with addictions out. Also there is an online ministry that helps people out with addictions. The ministry is called Setting Captives Free (http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com). I pray for you and never lack in your prayers to your heavenly father. It is possible, only with God's help, to overcome the struggles you currently have. God bless.

Chris Norwood

14th March 2006, 01:12 AM

I certainly have no grounds from which to give you advice, but just know that I am another Christian brother praying for you as you are searching_for_answers.

May God bless you as He guides you on your path to recovery and healing!