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Vicissa
7th February 2006, 06:53 PM
Hello everyone.
Man, it's been a tough month for me. I am going through an array of emotions that has to deal with moving. In case you didn't know I am moving to the gulf region in March, as my hubby has found work down there. Yesterday was particularly a rough day for me.
I went to my mother's house (my birth mom, I mean. My grandmother is who I consider "mom" because she raised me) and she gave me a real hard time about it. She first started saying I can't move, but this is already been decided. Our conversation continued like so...

Her: "You don't know anyone down there..."
Me: "My husband is down there."
Her: "Well, what if you get into a fight, you'll have no where to go."
Me: "Even when we argue I don't leave, never have."
Her: "Well what if you get into a big fight, like what if you find out he's sleeping with some *blank* girl (the blank is a mean term for a black person)" :mad:

That was particularly upsetting because of the racial connotations in it and because she knows that I have an insecurity not because of anything my husband did but because of previous relationships...my husband is a very loyal man and I just was so angry that my mom would even suggest that...whether she meant it or not is to no avail....it's ridiculous and mean.

At this point I'm sick of her and I tell her that's enough, she's going overboard with it. A little bit later she proceeds to involve my 6 year old in it because my daughter said she didn't want to move because she'll miss her friends and than my mom starts to say you can't move because she doesn't want to. On and On she goes with a multitude of reasons : It's too "dark" down there, the blacks down there are more violent then those up here (MI):sigh: , don't my family up here matter, I won't stay gone long because I can't stay away from my family, am I not going to miss my mom (grandmother).....
Later on she was crying.:( I do feel for her, I know this is hard but my whole intentions were to go over and spend time with everyone not get into a discussion about something that was already decided and especially not to have extra stress added on me or to encourage my kids to work against me in this too.

Today has been an up and down day and I'm feeling really discouraged. Early on in this it all seemed to line up so wonderfully and I really felt like this was God's will for us. Now things are getting difficult and I wonder...is this just tests or is this not going to work? Honestly I do believe that God wants us to be reunited as a family and to be together. I just wonder why it has to be so hard. We are even having a hard time finding a new campsite. The campsite my hubby currently is at isn't the best. Kind of expensive, showers cost money and are just an rv shower, and the bathroom is an porta-potty. Lots of different conditions than I am used to or my kids or used to. There is electricity. But...:sigh: I just doubt my ability to handle this situation. I'm scared. I really want a place where we can be comfortable. And I'm trying to keep my mind on the fact that God is in control, and He will take care of us. But I know also that His ways are not my ways, and wonder if He wills that we struggle in the beginning. LOL I can live with tenting...but I really wish we could find a campground with a bathhouse and flush toilets.

Please respond, I could really use feedback and prayers right now.

Super Gnat
7th February 2006, 08:47 PM
:hug: It's hard to walk that line between honoring your parents and calling them out when they say ungodly things. I don't know exactly what you should do, but I'll be praying that you and your family know God's will for the situation.

vincejohn
7th February 2006, 09:20 PM
Stick with your husband, the Israelites were in the desert for 40 years. It will be an adventure for you all.

powerless
7th February 2006, 10:57 PM
Thats a tough one, just look into your heart and you will see the correct path to follow.

tapero
7th February 2006, 11:36 PM
Dear Vicissa,

You're doing the right thing and you already know that. I'm so sorry that your mom doesn't understand that it's right for you to be with your husband. Other than that, when are you going? Why is the housing so temporary? Is it a work site housing? Maybe after he works there awhile you can get permanent housing. Anyway, hang in there.

Dear Lord,
I pray for Vicissa and her husband as they do this new adventure together that you would bless them and the family and keep them all safe. I pray for permanent housing for them and for good schools. Thank you for their lives and I just pray your blessings on them. Please help her mom to accept this inevitability. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

rkymtnjesusfreak
10th February 2006, 10:30 AM
Boy, this is tough. I guess the best thing that I can say is just keep your eyes on the Lord. You and your husband will know where the Lord is leading you if you keep your eyes fully focused on Him and His Word. I know this is tough though.

On a side note, my hubby and I and our kids (3 at the time, 5 now!) moved from KS to CO and tented it for a little over a month before finding the right apartment. It took some endurance, that's for sure. We had moved away from ALL family and CO had a freak wet summer that year (it is usually fairly arid there)!! But you know what, it provided some spectacular memories. We are back to KS after 8 years in CO. I would not have the relationship I have with the Lord now if not for that tough move to CO and the wonderful years that followed and all of the godly men and women He put in our path and life while we are there.

I know that it all looks very difficult now. God will work it out for His glory though and I know that He will be protecting you and your family along the way. He will also help you see the joy in the situation. I can attest to this from experience. He is ALWAYS in control!!

I will be praying for you.

ctay
11th February 2006, 11:47 PM
Pray over it. I went through something similar when I switched churches. My mother didn't want me to. She wanted me to go to church with her even though I wasn't happy in that church. She had an attitude after that. Telling me I couldn't go somewhere, planning stuff that included me without asking me first or talking about it. She's gotten better over time. I hope and pray.

brotherChristian
12th February 2006, 12:23 AM
You're right, His way is not always our way; and when we try too hard to control things is usually when we find out just how little control we really have. Chin up, this will bring you closer as a family if you let it.

Lord, please bless Vicissa and her family and ease their transition into whatever new life you have planned for them. And please soften her mother's heart so she may be a supportive anchor for Vicissa in this trying time. Amen.