My "Membership" in the Episcopal church

[BigAlSmith]

The following is my opinion only and that's all that it is......

"The Episcopal Church Welcomes You"
That is what the signs say.

I was in college, a member of the Methodist church for a few years, becoming so very disillusioned with the corruption and failures of that movement. At one time, the Methodist Church was the biggest of all the denominations; in the 1980's and 90's it became the fastest declining denomination in America. Perhaps it still is. When I was involved, it was lagued by corruption and dissention on a higher leadership level; it was a system that allowed inept and incompetent clergy to remain employeed and in a ministerial position.
I was complaining to my roommate, also a Methodist, in fact he and I were members of the same church. He had attended an Episcopal private school and after listening to me for weeks on end, suggested that we try an Episcopal church.

We picked one out of the phone book (I think there were only two in town) We went and we both liked it, perhaps for different reasons. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I could not help but go back again and again. I found a community of believers who were devoted to an intellectual approach to Christianity; (Of course it was a college town)
The sign at the door said "The Episcopal Church Welcomes you"

For the next year or so of my college life I attended that church whenever time and studies would permit. Then, I graduated moved away, ot a job, got married, etc and had this idea that I would want to
continue to involve myself in the Episcopal movement.
My new wife was not so thrilled with the idea; she had come from a fundamentalist/cultic background and was not open to such thought.
I eventually persuaded her to let us try it at least; soon she was interested in it as well.

The turning point came when we went to visit the priest at the local church. We had been attending off and on for a few months; they had the same sign there that siad "The Episcopal Church welcomes you" but this was not as open and friendly of a community as in a college town.
We approached the priest in his office one day about membership in the Episcopal church. This guy was sort of an oddball...a fundamentalist in the Episcopal movement, (He later got canned) ....he was not too interested in having us as members. He told us that to be a member, you had to go through confirmation class which was only once a year, and that they already had the one for this year, but to get in it you had to have a sponsor and since no one had offered to sponsor us we would probably not be able to, and that if we had been catholics they would accept us as members but since we were not well ......
The long and short of it was this guy made us feel rejeceted, unwelcome and like we had commited some grave sin just for wanting to be involved.

Well, things improved; a year later we got new jobs more $$ and moved to another town.
My first thought was to try the Episcopal church again, but I did not want to be made to feel like an outcast.
So I suggested a different approach. We would go to the local mass, and introduce ourselves to the priest tell him we just moved to town and we weere Episcopalians already and leave it at that.
More or less, it worked.
We found our names on the mailing list, got invitations to be involved in activities in and around the church.
No further talk of membership, confirmation or anything like that. By fellowshipping with other communicants, we were able to learn more about the church, including levels of membership and involvement.
Something no one had offered to us before.

Years later, we got jobs out of state got divorced, I got remarried happily, have kids not that I am raising in the Episcopal church. We go each week and the kids are involved in programs and activities there.

Non one ever asked about my past involvement, no one has ever asked me about my confirmation ( After 18 years in the Episcopal church I am NOT going to do that now)
I am, I guess, considered a member of the local parish; I consider myself to be Episcopalian, I feel quite comfortable with my level of involvement .
Does anyone else have any thoughts or similar experiences? I would especially like to hear from others who knew of people getting the runaround on confirmation and also if there is anyone like me who just ended up skipping it all together.
THANKS for reading

[Polycarp1]

Baptism is, by recent definition confirming an Early Church Fathers teaching, the full and sufficient action needed for membership in the Church.

Confirmation is the empowerment by the Holy Spirit for one's ministry as a layman, not the "completion" of Baptism as once was taught.

Personally, I'd recommend Confirmation classes and being presented for confirmation, for the spiritual gifts that seem to come from confirmation and for the in-depth study into "churchy" matters (theological and simple practice) that the classes usually provide. (My wife and I were both confirmed as adults, and found the classes very informative and the spark to further study. She re-took them at our new parish just to refresh herself in a more thorough manner than casual conversation about church teachings would.) But it's not a "requirement" in any meaningful sense.

[john23237]

The following is my opinion only and that's all that it is......

"The Episcopal Church Welcomes You"
That is what the signs say.

I was in college, a member of the Methodist church for a few years, becoming so very disillusioned with the corruption and failures of that movement. At one time, the Methodist Church was the biggest of all the denominations; in the 1980's and 90's it became the fastest declining denomination in America. Perhaps it still is. When I was involved, it was lagued by corruption and dissention on a higher leadership level; it was a system that allowed inept and incompetent clergy to remain employeed and in a ministerial position.
I was complaining to my roommate, also a Methodist, in fact he and I were members of the same church. He had attended an Episcopal private school and after listening to me for weeks on end, suggested that we try an Episcopal church.

We picked one out of the phone book (I think there were only two in town) We went and we both liked it, perhaps for different reasons. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I could not help but go back again and again. I found a community of believers who were devoted to an intellectual approach to Christianity; (Of course it was a college town)
The sign at the door said "The Episcopal Church Welcomes you"

For the next year or so of my college life I attended that church whenever time and studies would permit. Then, I graduated moved away, ot a job, got married, etc and had this idea that I would want to
continue to involve myself in the Episcopal movement.
My new wife was not so thrilled with the idea; she had come from a fundamentalist/cultic background and was not open to such thought.
I eventually persuaded her to let us try it at least; soon she was interested in it as well.

The turning point came when we went to visit the priest at the local church. We had been attending off and on for a few months; they had the same sign there that siad "The Episcopal Church welcomes you" but this was not as open and friendly of a community as in a college town.
We approached the priest in his office one day about membership in the Episcopal church. This guy was sort of an oddball...a fundamentalist in the Episcopal movement, (He later got canned) ....he was not too interested in having us as members. He told us that to be a member, you had to go through confirmation class which was only once a year, and that they already had the one for this year, but to get in it you had to have a sponsor and since no one had offered to sponsor us we would probably not be able to, and that if we had been catholics they would accept us as members but since we were not well ......
The long and short of it was this guy made us feel rejeceted, unwelcome and like we had commited some grave sin just for wanting to be involved.

Well, things improved; a year later we got new jobs more $$ and moved to another town.
My first thought was to try the Episcopal church again, but I did not want to be made to feel like an outcast.
So I suggested a different approach. We would go to the local mass, and introduce ourselves to the priest tell him we just moved to town and we weere Episcopalians already and leave it at that.
More or less, it worked.
We found our names on the mailing list, got invitations to be involved in activities in and around the church.
No further talk of membership, confirmation or anything like that. By fellowshipping with other communicants, we were able to learn more about the church, including levels of membership and involvement.
Something no one had offered to us before.

Years later, we got jobs out of state got divorced, I got remarried happily, have kids not that I am raising in the Episcopal church. We go each week and the kids are involved in programs and activities there.

Non one ever asked about my past involvement, no one has ever asked me about my confirmation ( After 18 years in the Episcopal church I am NOT going to do that now)
I am, I guess, considered a member of the local parish; I consider myself to be Episcopalian, I feel quite comfortable with my level of involvement .
Does anyone else have any thoughts or similar experiences? I would especially like to hear from others who knew of people getting the runaround on confirmation and also if there is anyone like me who just ended up skipping it all together.
THANKS for reading


If it is not too personal a question to ask, why do you not wish to be Confirmed?

[pmcleanj]

Hi, "Big Al"!

I love your user ID! :)

First and foremost, I too consider you to be Episcopalian. I'm more comfortable with that than with many people who did receive confirmation from an Episcopal Bishop. Your testimony that you worship weekly with the eucharistic community in your Episcopal church and are sharing that faith with your children is a clear "fruit of the spirit" by which Christ told us we might know others' calling.

What does it really mean to be an Episcopalian(1)? Some people will tell you that to be a member in good standing of the Episcopal Church, you must be confirmed, receive communion in the Episcopal Church at least three times a year one of which must be during Easter, and show material support for the work of the Episcopal Church(2). Such requirements apply to membership in the legal not-for-profit entity of a particular congregation or organization, for the sake of exercising voting or other civil membership rights.

But in our Anglican tradition of prayer-language as taken from our historic Book of Common Prayer, we do not even take that kind of 'membership' into account. The membership that matters is that in our Baptism we are made "Children of God, Members of Christ, and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven". The Church is Christ's Body here on earth, and it is made up of "the Whole Company of All Christian Believers." The Church exists "wherever the pure Word is preached and the sacraments duly celebrated". To an Anglican/Episcopalian, there should no question that the Church exists in its fullness within the Anglican/Episcopal Church(3)
. But we since there is only One True Church, and since it comprises the Whole Company of All Christian Believers, every other sincere Christian is also part of that church.

Time was, back before the burgeoning secularism of the 1950's (4) that being Episcopal/Anglican was one characteristic of being "the right class, dahling". There are still congregations that have overtones of that snobbery, alas. I've run into these, fortunately rare, Anglicans/Episcopalians who make sure that their grandchildren get properly 'done' -- baptized (in historic family gown) and confirmed (in white dress, with a gold cross) and church wedding -- and that the right people are invited to all the events, and attend the family command performance on Christmas and Easter and Mother's Day, in return for which they are free to do what they like on the rest of their Sundays. They have fulfilled their requirements of 'membership', but alas I cannot feel the communion with them that I feel with you.

And there are always some people, clergy included, who are concerned to nail down definitions of who's 'in' and who's 'out', with clear rules about how to treat both categories. It's unusual to find those attitudes in ECUSA clergy, but it happens.

So what is confirmation all about, then, if it's not a pre-requisite for something? It is a gift that the Church can offer you, to strengthen your ministry. All mature Christians, not just clergy, are ministers: servants in Christ's name of one another and of Christ's little ones: the poor, the hungry, the naked, the widows and orphans, the homeless, the prisoners. We rely on the strengthening of the Holy Spirit working through us to accomplish good in Chris'ts name. Confirmation confers a special strengthening of the Holy Spirit working in your life, daily, more and more. Most priests don't press confirmation, precisely because too many people are leery of having stumbling-blocks and pre-requisites set before them in their spiritual walk. But most priests will happily conduct you through the sacrament of Confirmation if you desire this gift for yourself.


(1) or 'Anglican', as Episcopalianism is known in other countries and in groups that from the Episcopal tradition that are no longer part of "the Episcopal Church of the USA"
(2) or some subset or similar list of requirements
(3) at least, in the case of those bodies that have left communion with other Episcopal/Anglican bodies, within their own communion
(4) and in Europe, of the 1920's -- there is an argument to be made that the shock of unprecedented devastation of world war on the doorstep created a cultural backlash against the established religion that so signally failed to explain or heal such overwhelming sin

[AngCath]

I think you should prayerfully consider Confirmation because you will still most likely learn a whole lot and the spiritual grace of strength from the Holy Spirit and the laying of hands by your bishop.

[Albion]

I am, I guess, considered a member of the local parish; I consider myself to be Episcopalian, I feel quite comfortable with my level of involvement .
Does anyone else have any thoughts or similar experiences? I would especially like to hear from others who knew of people getting the runaround on confirmation and also if there is anyone like me who just ended up skipping it all together.
THANKS for reading

Come clean and get it behind you. Few pastors are going to go ballistic if you tell them what you told us, and yours will probably not hold you up to embarrassment if you tell him you are feeling bad enough already. He'll want to confirm you, or he won't, and you'll sleep better. If it's confirmation, you can no doubt do it without any instruction classes, and do it in an out-of-town parish the bishop is visiting.

[karen freeinchristman]

Does anyone else have any thoughts or similar experiences? I would especially like to hear from others who knew of people getting the runaround on confirmation and also if there is anyone like me who just ended up skipping it all together.
I have never heard anything as bad as this! I'm not in ECUSA, but I find it hard to believe a priest could behave in that manner. That is despicable treatment!

[Inside Edge]

Hi Al,

Your story sounds a little familiar.

My wife and I started out in the Anglican Church (that's what it's called in Canada) in her small town, as we searched for a church to be married in. I was a non-church going Christian who was disillusioned with all the fundementalist churches I had attended, she had almost no church background at all.

We loved (and still do) that first church - it was welcoming and a good place to be. the priest is as comfortable with things like confirmation as you are - that is to say, if I wanted to be confirmed, then he was all for it; if not, then he was fine with that too.

But we didn't - and still don't - live in that town. But we loved the Anglican Church after many months of exposure and a little research, so we started looking for a church in our area to attend regularly. After visiting several and not feeling particularly pulled to any one in particular, we just went the closest one to us. We went for 9 months and on only 2 occasions did anyone speak to us - and on one of those occassions, all the person said was that they didn't have time for us. Imagine attending a church regularly for that long and no one knows who you are!

So I met with the priest and explained that I would like to be more involved and would like to go through confirmation. He waved his hand, saying it was totally unecessary. I pressed the issue, but it was clearly not important to him. So it's sort of the opposite of your scenario - I WANT to be confirmed, but had a priest who didn't seem to have time for that sort of thing.

We stopped attending church for about 4 months. We had our first child in that time, and once baby-shock wore off (i.e. we started getting some sleep again), I went out parish-hunting again, hoping to find a more welcoming church.

I only had to make 1 stop. The new church was so open and welcoming, without even a hint of being overzealous or suffocating. The priest took time to speak with us in the first few visits, came to our house to really introduce the church to us, came to our house again to get to know the Godparents-to-be of our baby, etc etc. Night and Day. We're quite involved with the church now, and it pains us to think of moving away one day and not being within reasonable distance of our current church.

[Albion]

Sometimes people say that they are put off by the big rush they get when visiting a new church. Too many glad hands, requests to come back and participate in everything from coffee hour to the women's club...but that sure beats the cold shoulder such as you experienced in that particular Anglican parish, doesn't it? That's horrible and yet not uncommon.