family problems

[kamikat]

I knew I'd have no problems with Dad about going to the EO church. I didn't think I'd have problems with Mom, since she hasn't been to Mass in about 15 years. However, I didn't count on sister getting into the mix. She didn't have a problem when I started attending Protestant churches, but she is now very concerned about my attending an EO church. She doesnt want me to risk my soul by rejecting "God's Church". I just kinda wimped out and told her I hadn't made any commitments yet. I don't understand why she's more upset about attending an EO church rather than a Protestant church. It seems to me that if she really believed the RCC was the one true church, it wouldnt matter if I was going to an EO church or a Protestant church.
kamikat

[The Prokeimenon!]

Family squabbles can be tough. It usually gets worse as the family member(s) see that you're serious. Then there's some arguing (or, depending on the family, screaming.) And then after a while everybody calms down and it's peaceful as long as it's not mentioned. This was my experience and the experience of a lot of others. It will get better.

Rdr Moses

[eoe]

My Mom would have reacted in a similar way if I had joined a baby sacrificing Satan cult. She has mellowed out tho.

What it boils down to is this:
If you see Christ you have to follow him no matter who tries to get in your way. Even if it is family. Even if it is my mother and she is all yelling and spitting and turning red (and a disturbing shade of purple) and telling you that catholics just get baptized and never do anything else and are forbidden from praying to God and.....

Read Prince Caspian by CS Lewis. It will help you with this problem.

You are not alone.

[icxn]

It's not your family that has a problem, it's the Devil, who in turn stirs them against you.

[Asinner]

It's not your family that has a problem, it's the Devil, who in turn stirs them against you.

This is absolutely true. The devil didn't stir them against you when attending protestant churches because this is not where the fullness of the truth is. If you feel persecution, then know you are getting close to Christ. :)

God Bless

[HandmaidenOfGod]

While I can't add anything to what has already been said, I would like to offer you a hug, and to just say "hang in there, it will get better." :hug:

God bless,

Maureen

[theoforos]

My mom has already cooled down, it took about half a year. :) My dad never had any objections.

[Annoula]

stay true to yourself and keep going...


*hug*

[Khaleas]

My mom has already cooled down, it took about half a year. :) My dad never had any objections.

Yes, my mom didn't get it at all. Dad never said anything. Now they are perfectly alright with it, although they still call me from Finland on Sunday morning and wonder where I am. :D I'm positive they are ok with it because I need a new chain for my cross (the one I'm using was to be temporary and it's too short, but the color of gold is different in the US than in Finland so I haven't gotten a new one) and they are giving it to me.
Now I'm hoping I'll be able to take Dad along to Pasha soon.
Hang in there... :hug:

[kamikat]

She called this morning to apologize. She said "I guess if this is just part of your search, it's ok". That sounds nice, but she said "search" in a really mean way. I guess I just won't discuss it any more at family dinners.
kamikat

[HandmaidenOfGod]

She called this morning to apologize. She said "I guess if this is just part of your search, it's ok". That sounds nice, but she said "search" in a really mean way. I guess I just won't discuss it any more at family dinners.
kamikat

I'm glad that she apologised.

You'd be wise to probably just keep this to yourself for a while. If they do bring it up, just say "this is my choice, I'm not asking you to change, so don't worry about it." Then change the subject.

God bless,

Maureen

[Khaleas]

She called this morning to apologize. She said "I guess if this is just part of your search, it's ok". That sounds nice, but she said "search" in a really mean way. I guess I just won't discuss it any more at family dinners.
kamikat

I can understand my mom in a way. I have a tendency to get interested in something really deeply and read a lot about it and then just drop it (mom is the same too). So I guess they thought it was just something temporary. They'd make fun of me a bit and wonder why I've suddenly gotten so 'religious'. It's not that common to attend church each weekend in Finland although it's growing. I brushed off their comments and kept doing what I was doing and prayed for everyone. At this point it has really become a non-issue.

Prayers :crosseo:

[kamikat]

See, my problem isn't just that it's a religious thing. What's also going on is a family thing. My sister has always been "the good daughter". Now I have something more in common with Dad than sister does. Dad has said that if I discover that his uncles really don't go to that parish anymore, he'l; come to church with me. I think that's some of what's bothering sister. When we were discussing Sunday's DL, my mom wanted to know which family was there because before their divorce, she had been friends with some of Dad's cousins. Sister kept bringing up things like "I sent Christmas cards to ...." or " ya know I went to college with cousin so and so".
kamikat

[HandmaidenOfGod]

See, my problem isn't just that it's a religious thing. What's also going on is a family thing. My sister has always been "the good daughter". Now I have something more in common with Dad than sister does. Dad has said that if I discover that his uncles really don't go to that parish anymore, he'l; come to church with me. I think that's some of what's bothering sister. When we were discussing Sunday's DL, my mom wanted to know which family was there because before their divorce, she had been friends with some of Dad's cousins. Sister kept bringing up things like "I sent Christmas cards to ...." or " ya know I went to college with cousin so and so".
kamikat

The bottom line is that this is NOT your issue. If your sister is jealous of any relationship you may have with your parents, or may develop with any family members that go to this Church, that is HER problem. Not yours.

You are doing nothing wrong. You are serving Christ and His Church.

If she has a problem with you going to this parish, that is her issue, not yours.

I will pray for your sister. :crosseo:

In XC,

Maureen

[eoe]

Wonderful news! I am glad that your mom has decided to be civil but the much better new is:

Dad has said that if I discover that his uncles really don't go to that parish anymore, he'l; come to church with me.
This is better than you might know! Having any family support is far greater than not.

[AlaskaFan]

You are from Finland? Are there many Orthodox churches there?

I can understand my mom in a way. I have a tendency to get interested in something really deeply and read a lot about it and then just drop it (mom is the same too). So I guess they thought it was just something temporary. They'd make fun of me a bit and wonder why I've suddenly gotten so 'religious'. It's not that common to attend church each weekend in Finland although it's growing. I brushed off their comments and kept doing what I was doing and prayed for everyone. At this point it has really become a non-issue.

Prayers :crosseo:

[Khaleas]

You are from Finland? Are there many Orthodox churches there?

I'm from there, but I live in Maryland. I'd say there is a church in just about every major city, although Helsinki has several. There are also many, many chapels/prayer houses all over the country.

[Monica, child of God]

My conversion brought some weird family stuff out too, so you aren't alone.

My family in my father's side is made up of Blacks who were house slaves and later house servants. They emulated the whites that they worked for including their religion. So from very far back, my paternal side is made up of high church Anglicans who sort of look down on the Baptist and Pentacostalism embraced by Blacks who generally worked the land. My Grandmother is particularly disparaging of "holy roller" type denominations. My father did not ever take me to church though he was raised in the Anglican faith and was even an acolyte. When I spent the night at his house, I went to Catholic Mass with my Roma step-mom, while he went to his Anglican parish. Weird, right? Through my teens I landed in Islam and in my early twenties I became a Christian through a Protestant Evangelical church.

Now for the wierdness: my family raised no objection to me being Muslim or being baptized in a Baptist church. But when I joined the Orthodox Church, they raised their hackles :scratch: I think they see my joining an Apostolic communion other than the Anglican Church as a betrayl of my heritage or something. Even though they have tons of problems with the Episcopal church in the US they don't think that is a reason to leave and abandon the family church. I just can't understand this position. I can't belong to a church that teaches things I don't believe in for the sake of family and I don't understand why they would expect me to be Anglican when I was never raised in that church or taken there more than a few times to begin with.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. If nothing else, know that you are not the only one with family weirdness re: religion :)

M.

[eoe]

I like the icon in your sig Monica and I don't want to raise calendar questions but... you using the Mayan calendar? That would be REALLLY OLD Calendar!^_^

(This from the guy who still has his tree up in the stand in the back yard.....)

((Sorry for the OT post... resume your normal programming...))

[Birgitta]

Dad never said anything.
My dad just said "aha" and that was all. I don't know about my mom. I guess that she doesn't like my decision.

[Rilian]

AlaskaFan, there's also an Orthodox Museum (http://www.ort.fi/kirkkomuseo/okm_GBR/index_fin.htm) in Finland.

[EvangeliGirl]

I'll pray for you and your family, Kamikat.

[Monica, child of God]

I like the icon in your sig Monica and I don't want to raise calendar questions but... you using the Mayan calendar? That would be REALLLY OLD Calendar!^_^

(This from the guy who still has his tree up in the stand in the back yard.....)

((Sorry for the OT post... resume your normal programming...))

LOL :D I want to change it but everytime I get a good idea, I cant find the right sort of icon or I can't find the quote that I read, so I just give up. Don't worry I will change it soon :D

Don't worry aboutyour Christmas tree though. The official end of the Christmas season is the Presentation of Christ in the Temple, forty days after Nativity. In the East, Nativity, Theophany and the Presentation were celebrated together at first. So don't feel bad bout still having Christmas decorations around :)

M.

[HandmaidenOfGod]

If nothing else, know that you are not the only one with family weirdness re: religion :)

M.

I think a better question is "is there anyone who DOESN'T have some issue in their family regarding religion?"

I mean, even in Greece where just about everyone is Orthodox, I'm sure there's gotta be issues. Aunt Helena goes to St. Nicholas and the rest of the family goes to St. George, etc...

In my family I'm the "freak" on my Mother's side (they're all Catholic/Protestant) and I'm the "freak" on my father's side (they are all UOC, I go to an OCA)!

So either way I can't win! lol

I look at it like this; when I sit before the dread judgment seat of Christ, I can't say "Reservation for (insert family name.)" Christ will be holding me accountable for MY actions and MY choices. So I have to do all I can to make sure to follow HIM -- not anyone else.

Just my two cents...

In XC,

Maureen

[Marxist]

Family squabbles can be tough. It usually gets worse as the family member(s) see that you're serious. Then there's some arguing (or, depending on the family, screaming.) And then after a while everybody calms down and it's peaceful as long as it's not mentioned. This was my experience and the experience of a lot of others. It will get better.

Rdr Moses

I guess I got off easy. My wife, children, and best friend attended my chrismation last year. Most other family members avoid the issue (if they even know about it). I don't go advertising it. Should I? Hmmmmm...... My aunt, a practicing catholic, is the only one vocally against it....she considers the orthodox church to be anti-woman, and the services too long....oh well...can't please everyone.

I'm happy...and my children love Divine Liturgy....I pray they follow me in.

[Anhelyna]

Sounds a bit like my experience - remembering that I'm Catholic - and the only one in the family too [ either Eastern or RC :)]

I had been thinking of the change for over 2 years and kept drawing back for one minor reason and another but finally something happened and I knew it was to be done.

I applied for a Canonical Transfer and after lots of letters [ unanswered from the RC Hierarch ] and many phone calls I finally got a letter refusing permission for my transfer. To say I was gobsmacked was putting it very politely. I did not give in however and finally because of the very strange situation that I found I was in, I was Received by Chrismation in September - my husband was with me and has been incredibly supportive since - still can't get him in a Church despite the fact he took photos of my Chrismation.

He drives me to DL whenever possible even though that means leaving fairly early on Sunday and returning about 2pm - he has not grumbled as yet - though I admit I'm not pushing him to take me every week -- yet ;)

I do sympathise with those with family problems - it really is not easy to cope at times

[MariaRegina]

She called this morning to apologize. She said "I guess if this is just part of your search, it's ok". That sounds nice, but she said "search" in a really mean way. I guess I just won't discuss it any more at family dinners.
kamikat

We are all on a search .. to search-and-destroy all sinfulness in our lives and to put on Christ.

I have been saved

I am in the process of being saved through repentance and self-denial

I will be saved.

[Khaleas]

My dad just said "aha" and that was all. I don't know about my mom. I guess that she doesn't like my decision.

In the end I don't really care, although it was making me a bit sad when it was all going on. And it was definitely been the best decision I've made in my whole life, that one and moving to the US, and now marrying Kevin. Ever since I was Chrismated I've had this peace I've never experienced before. :crosseo:

[Khaleas]

I think a better question is "is there anyone who DOESN'T have some issue in their family regarding religion?"

I mean, even in Greece where just about everyone is Orthodox, I'm sure there's gotta be issues. Aunt Helena goes to St. Nicholas and the rest of the family goes to St. George, etc...

In my family I'm the "freak" on my Mother's side (they're all Catholic/Protestant) and I'm the "freak" on my father's side (they are all UOC, I go to an OCA)!

So either way I can't win! lol

I look at it like this; when I sit before the dread judgment seat of Christ, I can't say "Reservation for (insert family name.)" Christ will be holding me accountable for MY actions and MY choices. So I have to do all I can to make sure to follow HIM -- not anyone else.

Just my two cents...

In XC,

Maureen

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to HandmaidenOfGod again

Darned Rep Bolsheviks!!!! :mad:

[HandmaidenOfGod]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to HandmaidenOfGod again

Darned Rep Bolsheviks!!!! :mad:

LOL Thanks Jennie! :hug:

Glad to see you got to MD safely! :thumbsup:

[Happy Orthodox]

Well, I didn't have much problems with my family, thank God! It is just me and my mom in the US, and we both converted cimultaneously. My mother's parents did not protest at all, but strangely, when we visited them in Russia, got more pios in Islam being inspired by our Christianity! I remeber they would say a prayer in Arabic after eating, and had also short sayings like "God willing" in arabic (Muslims pray in Arabic). So, they thought that Russian religion fit us better, and Islam -- them. But my grandmother converted to Christianity by the grace of God shortly before she reposed last summer. So, that was a blessed time! It was amazing to see her wanting icons around her, and asking to baptise her, when all her life she considered herself of a Muslim heritage (although she did not practice Islam very devoutely). That was an absolute miracle. My mom's sister is herself interested in Orthodoxy, but not completely, and I think she is happy for my mom that she found peace. So, there haven't been any problems with our close relatives. However, when my mom buried my grandma in the Church, the other relatives, my grandma's sisters, brothers and other relatives, got concerned that she was "born" Muslim, she is of "Muslim" blood and therefore she was supposed to be buried in Muslim tradition. But by the grace of God everything turned out great. Thanks and glory to Him forever and ever!

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Well, I didn't have much problems with my family, thank God! It is just me and my mom in the US, and we both converted cimultaneously. My mother's parents did not protest at all, but strangely, when we visited them in Russia, got more pios in Islam being inspired by our Christianity! I remeber they would say a prayer in Arabic after eating, and had also short sayings like "God willing" in arabic (Muslims pray in Arabic). So, they thought that Russian religion fit us better, and Islam -- them. But my grandmother converted to Christianity by the grace of God shortly before she reposed last summer. So, that was a blessed time! It was amazing to see her wanting icons around her, and asking to baptise her, when all her life she considered herself of a Muslim heritage (although she did not practice Islam very devoutely). That was an absolute miracle. My mom's sister is herself interested in Orthodoxy, but not completely, and I think she is happy for my mom that she found peace. So, there haven't been any problems with our close relatives. However, when my mom buried my grandma in the Church, the other relatives, my grandma's sisters, brothers and other relatives, got concerned that she was "born" Muslim, she is of "Muslim" blood and therefore she was supposed to be buried in Muslim tradition. But by the grace of God everything turned out great. Thanks and glory to Him forever and ever!

That is a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing!

Glory to God in the highest! :clap:

[OnTheWay]

Interestingly enough, the Koran acknowledges both the virgin birth of Christ and the Ever-virginity of the Theotokos. I bothered to read the entire Koran so that I could argue with a fellow student who is from Egypt. I think it is a good basis for ministering to Muslims, a sort of common ground.

[zhilan]

If I decide to convert to Orthodoxy I anticipate a lot of sadness from my mom. I don't think she'll be angry just really confused, like why isn't the Catholic church good enough sort of thing? I think it will be hard for her. I worry about that. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

[repentant]

Matthew 10:37

"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

[HandmaidenOfGod]

Interestingly enough, the Koran acknowledges both the virgin birth of Christ and the Ever-virginity of the Theotokos. I bothered to read the entire Koran so that I could argue with a fellow student who is from Egypt. I think it is a good basis for ministering to Muslims, a sort of common ground.

I agree.

I think from both an academic and apologetics perspective it is good to study other faiths/belief systems.

After all, how can you argue against other heresies if you are not familiar with them?

[Happy Orthodox]

However, we must take a blessing of our spiritual fathers first before reading anything of another faith, lest in our pride and trusting our own minds we would be lured by their lies or our spirit be damaged by the demonic messages. Especially Koran! That stuff is dangerous, so we need to humble ourselves and call for the help from God to protect us. Boy, how many dangers are there in the world that we are unaware of, and blind we go right into the fire, but God still protests us even if we don't ask! But sometimes He doesn't, just to punish us for our pride. (No intention to teach anyone here, just trying to warn whoever doesn't know, be careful! I love y'all :hug: and don't want anything to harm you)

[AlaskaFan]

My family isn't particularly religious, but isn't hostile toward religion either, so they had no problem when I converted to Orthodoxy.