Proposal

[ZiSunka]

Joe proposed yesterday, but I didn't give him an answer. I'm inclined to say no. Would you all pray and tell me what you think the Spirit is telling you about this?

[arunma]

No problem, I'm praying for you.

[Flynmonkie]

Joe proposed yesterday, but I didn't give him an answer. I'm inclined to say no. Would you all pray and tell me what you think the Spirit is telling you about this?
The very first thing that comes to mind is No you’re not ready -- Very Strongly actually.

Now how do you know that this is via the Holy Spirit or my deductive reasoning?

[ZiSunka]

If I'm not ready now, will I ever be??

[Flynmonkie]

Ok, I am not sure how you want to take this. But a rule of thumb in my life is..

If you have to ask -- you know the answer.

Something is wrong with this but I am not sure what. I want to say that he is not the one.

I had been convinced in my life that I had been waiting too long for a relationship. That I was too hard on men because I had some strict standards. Pretty independent after my first marriage, and truly it took me a long time to not consider myself "married" even after my divorce. I felt that strongly against the divorce. Even though I filed it myself (he left).

I am not sure if this helps but when I let my "standards" down, I found myself in a situation I never wanted to be in. Completely out of my element. But I did so because others told me I should. "This person is nice, you’re being too hard, He takes care of you; you need someone to take care of you" blah blah blah...

Now I am not saying this is you. But I can say that I have learned in my life -- never to second-guess my gut, or my better judgment. You DO know what is best for you (and for others concerning you)

If you would say yes for any other reason than true love, you would be not only selling yourself short but him too. And I can tell you, unless you are perfect in your Christian walk that too will be tested with the wrong person.

So I believe truly in my heart that Yes, you will be ready -- with the right one. But you will need to search your heart honestly and give this to God.

Meanwhile I will keep you in my prayers during this difficult time.. but again, I have no idea if this is the Spirit working through me - or not. You will have to determine that for you with prayer. I hate giving advice like this!

[Lenora56]

If I'm not ready now, will I ever be??

I don't know. I'm praying for you, LL. The fact that you're inclined to say no is a caution light in my mind. Why are you inclined to say no? Of course, you don't have to answer that! But perhaps the answer will help you in your decision.

[MrJim]

:prayer: :prayer:

[MatthewPoole]

Joe proposed yesterday, but I didn't give him an answer. I'm inclined to say no. Would you all pray and tell me what you think the Spirit is telling you about this?

I'll be praying for ya... :prayer:

MP

[Willo]

The mere fact your asking others about your marriage is a sign that you shouldn't say yes.

[blessedmomof5]

I also will be praying, But i wanted to add something, most people when they get a proposal, either say yes or no. not let me think about it or i willl get back to you, or let me see what my so and so thinks...... so if you have any doubt what so ever, which it sounds like, you need to figure out what that is and take it from there. either with him, with God, or maybe you already know the answer and just want conformation? But what ever you choose will be the choice that God gives you, and it will be the right one.
will be praying for you..
Denise.

[BigNorsk]

Are you thinking "no" or that you "don't know"? That's a big difference. No would mean that there is something about him that you have learned that would be different than the man you would be willing to marry. If that is the case, you should have broken dating off with him when you found it out. On the other hand, "I don't know", would mean that you don't know that you wouldn't want to marry him, just that you aren't comfortable making that commitment at this time. Maybe the two of you haven't really discussed some important things, or such. It could be just that one of you (him) has reached the point where the decision is that the other is acceptable before the other is.

If it is "no" then you should break off any dating or such.

If it is "I don't know" then I think the thing to do is to have some deep discussions. The greatest weakness of those discussions is if the two of you "fudge" your answers or positions in order to please the other. Some pastors offer premarital tests and such designed to kind of bring out those differences.

Maybe the two of you should go through premarital counseling before you decide whether or not to get married?

One thing I would encourage, if the answer is "no", don't say "I don't know" sometimes people do that in order to be kind. But it isn't actually kindness, it simply leads the other on.

I can understand why you didn't give an immediate answer, and I think it is a good characteristic in people. God tells us to let our yes be yes and our no, no. Some people just blirt out an answer and then change it afterwards or live with a decision they regret. Obviously, your style is to be sure before you say, if Joe were here, I would comfort him that you want to get it right and your yes, if it comes, will truly be yes, he won't need to worry that you are going to change your mind with each change in the wind. I would also counsel him that if you say no, it doesn't mean that he is a completely worthless excuse for a man.

How long have you and Joe known each other? How long have you dated? What is it that is giving you pause?

Marv

[Ragamuffins]

Joe proposed yesterday, but I didn't give him an answer. I'm inclined to say no. Would you all pray and tell me what you think the Spirit is telling you about this?
If you are inclined to say no, then say no. That would be my advice.

[ZiSunka]

Why are you inclined to say no? Of course, you don't have to answer that! But perhaps the answer will help you in your decision.

I don't want to move back across the state to live the rest of my life in a part of the world I don't really like. It's non-negotiable for him. He won't move, I've got to be the one to move. That means selling the house I love (the one my parents built and where they both died), moving 4 hours away from my only sibling and her only child, picking up my ministry and moving that back across the state, too. But he won't budge, either I move or we don't get married.

It also puts an end to graduate school for me, since the only university that teaches the subject I want to study is about 40 minutes from here, but 3-1/2 hours from there.

[blessedmomof5]

May i ask you a question? you do not have to answer, is he a christian? And do you want to marry a man that is uncompromising?(sp)

and BTW why won't he move ? again if to personal or none of my business you do not have to answer...Just tell me so....
Denise

[ZiSunka]

May i ask you a question? you do not have to answer, is he a christian?

Yes.

And do you want to marry a man that is uncompromising?(sp)

I wish we could compromise, but he is unwilling to even discuss it. He likes where he is and thinks the husband should have final say on things like that.

and BTW why won't he move ? again if to personal or none of my business you do not have to answer...Just tell me so....
Denise

His family lives there, he likes his job, he thinks he and his brothers will get back into farming there someday.

[jochanaan]

I don't want to move back across the state to live the rest of my life in a part of the world I don't really like. It's non-negotiable for him. He won't move, I've got to be the one to move. That means selling the house I love (the one my parents built and where they both died), moving 4 hours away from my only sibling and her only child, picking up my ministry and moving that back across the state, too. But he won't budge, either I move or we don't get married.

It also puts an end to graduate school for me, since the only university that teaches the subject I want to study is about 40 minutes from here, but 3-1/2 hours from there.
Ooooooh! Red flags all over the place! It sounds as if he may turn into an abuser. (Been there, suffered that.:cry: ) There should be no non-negotiables except your own faith in a Christian marriage. And it shouldn't have to mean giving up your own dreams if they don't conflict with God's will.

Say no.

[blessedmomof5]

Do you know what i just noticed...... on LL last post everything you said was

"He" he wants, He thinks, He unwilling, He likes where He lives, where are you? In all of this? now i would never tell you what to do that like i said is between you and God and he will lead you whether through us or someother means but he will guide you.

[Flynmonkie]

I think you have made the right decision. If he is already showing you he has an unhealthy view of a biblical marriage... then you are correct. You should be making such drastic decisions with no problems if he was the right one.

If you did compromise - think of what you would be walking into? For the rest of your life. I tell you it will be hard to get over the resentments like I said before can you imagine having that as your daily burden in your Christian walk? Constantly having to deal with someone that lessens your feelings and perspective? Wow.

Again, never second-guess your better judgment, your gut. Usually for me, I find this is the Holy Spirit working through me. When in doubt - don't.

I feel for you, but I know in my heart the right time, and the right situation will bring the right one. Who knows you might meet the right one in your final years of graduate school! Then you would actually have more time to devote to the relationship. Each day brings a new idea, a new thing.

Give this to God. And let it go. Easier said than done, but work on it. I am so sorry to hear of this struggle. :hug:

[arunma]

It also puts an end to graduate school for me, since the only university that teaches the subject I want to study is about 40 minutes from here, but 3-1/2 hours from there.

I know this has nothing to do with the discussion at hand. But just out of curiosity, what subject are you studying?

[jusluvm]

lambslove,

First of all, you are in my prayers.

Now, after reading all of these posts, I can't help but think that if both of you (or even just one of you) had the kind of love for each other that it takes to make it through the really hard times (and there will be really hard times! :) ) and for "the long haul", one of you (or both of you) would be more than willing to give up almost anything to be together and make this work.

As my momma always said: "You can get married when you don't have nothin' else to do!"

Just don't do anything until you have no doubt about it. Well, mostly no doubt. :)

[Flynmonkie]

As my momma always said: "You can get married when you don't have nothin' else to do!"

:)

I love this, I am going to adopt it! :thumbsup: Too late for me though, where was your mother when I needed this advice!

My Granddaddy used to say "Better watch where your a-goin', you might end up where you don't want to be"

What would we do without our wise old family members?

[Joykins]

I wish we could compromise, but he is unwilling to even discuss it. He likes where he is and thinks the husband should have final say on things like that.


Well, if you want the rest of your life to be like that, then you could marry him.

The kind of men who deserve submission don't demand it.

:prayer:

Joy

[Flynmonkie]

Ok, LL we need to talk. This whole thing freaks me out so I hope you don’t mind that we discuss this in this thread or I will create a new thread with this as the topic. When I read this, the first thing I felt strongly was no, he is not the one. As I stated to you earlier that it was a very firm strong feeling. How do you identify that it is the Holy Spirit or not working through others rather than others personal “ideas” on the situation. I DO believe this happens in this manner, the Holy Spirit working through others– as it has happened to me many times (daily!). In my thoughts the Holy Spirit in me recognizes the Holy Spirit in others, in addition when the Holy Spirit is working in ones life, the right answer just seems to come. One of the reasons I used to like Joan of Arcadia (but that is extreme to me of course) But I had no idea others thought this way. Do you mind sharing this with me?

[ZiSunka]

I don't mind. I'd like to know myself.

[Lenora56]

Just please, please don't do something you'll regret. Marriages are deceptively easy to get into.

I agree with the poster who noticed the "he, he ,he." It sounds as if it's all about him, his needs, his wants, etc. It seems that he is very familiar with the verse about submission (Eph 5:22), but does he remember the one about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave up Himself for her (Eph 5:25)? Not saying that he should "give up his life," but there should be a spirit of love and concern coming from him. Perhaps there is, and I just don't know it.;)

Is he willing to as least listen to your concerns? How important is graduate school to you, and what does his attitude seem to be about that? I hope I don't sound nosey or demanding, and feel free to ignore these questions. It's all out of concern.:wave:

[Flynmonkie]

I don't mind. I'd like to know myself.
Thre has to be some basis that makes you feel that you can just post a question and the right answer will come?

[ZiSunka]

Just please, please don't do something you'll regret. Marriages are deceptively easy to get into.

I agree with the poster who noticed the "he, he ,he." It sounds as if it's all about him, his needs, his wants, etc. It seems that he is very familiar with the verse about submission (Eph 5:22), but does he remember the one about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave up Himself for her (Eph 5:25)? Not saying that he should "give up his life," but there should be a spirit of love and concern coming from him. Perhaps there is, and I just don't know it.;)

Is he willing to as least listen to your concerns? How important is graduate school to you, and what does his attitude seem to be about that? I hope I don't sound nosey or demanding, and feel free to ignore these questions. I:wave:t's all out of concern.

I don't mind your questions, they are all good ones. Joe is the 5th of six children in his family and he often felt invisible to the others. He doesn't do intimacy well, and it is hard for him to talk about anything meaningful or personal because he just doesn't have practice at it. We have known each other more than 10 years but "seeing" each other about 5 years, but even though he wanted to ask me out sooner, he never did because he has difficulty talking. He talks more to me than anyone else, so I guess I should be happy about that. He's a very good person, not overtly controlling, dedicated to doing good things for the Lord. He's great on a missions trip and supports my ministry, he's even on the board.

I don't want you to think he's some kind of evil person. His family are very good people, too, dedicated to their faith and pretty well-adjusted, a lot like my family. In fact, we grew up in very similar households. He is kind-hearted and my dog fell in love with him years before we started to date. He doesn't have a cruel bone in his body.

He simply feels a wife should fall into line with her husband's life, his goals, his dreams, his visions of the preferred future. I don't know where he got this from, since his parents aren't that way, they are very much equal partners and have been for 56 years.

He has told me that if we get married, I won't have to work, I can focus on the ministry and he'll support the family. He drives truck for a living and does okay financially.

I think the biggest reason he doesn't want to move is that he is afraid that after 46 years of pretty much living in the same house (when he moved two years ago after his parents sold the farm, he only moved two houses up the street), he won't be able to adjust to living somewhere else. He doesn't even want to try, not even for a little while. Maybe his shyness is at work, but it isn't because he is evil. You won't find a kinder or more gentle person anywhere and the one thing I would never worry about is any kind of abuse.

[mesue]

Joe proposed yesterday, but I didn't give him an answer. I'm inclined to say no. Would you all pray and tell me what you think the Spirit is telling you about this?
I didn't read any answers yet, I just prayed and this is what is on my heart.
Love is a decision. You decide to love your spouse daily. It is the same with our walk with Jesus. We decide daily to walk with Him, or not.
Marriages used to be arranged, and they lasted. Ever see Fiddler On The Roof?
There's a song about their arranged marriage and how the wife didn't love him at first, but after many years together she grew to love him very much. At least you and Joe have a stronger start.
Are you equally yoked? Is he a believer? That speaks volumes.
Can you decide to love Joe daily? Even when he doesn't ask for directions? Or, leaves his dirty socks by the couch? Or leaves the toilet seat up? :D
See, somedays those decisions aren't so easily made. ;)
Ultimately, it's up to you.
I'm praying for you, and Joe, my friend. :prayer:

[Lenora56]

I don't mind your questions, they are all good ones. Joe is the 5th of six children in his family and he often felt invisible to the others. He doesn't do intimacy well, and it is hard for him to talk about anything meaningful or personal because he just doesn't have practice at it. We have known each other more than 10 years but "seeing" each other about 5 years, but even though he wanted to ask me out sooner, he never did because he has difficulty talking. He talks more to me than anyone else, so I guess I should be happy about that. He's a very good person, not overtly controlling, dedicated to doing good things for the Lord. He's great on a missions trip and supports my ministry, he's even on the board.

I don't want you to think he's some kind of evil person. His family are very good people, too, dedicated to their faith and pretty well-adjusted, a lot like my family. In fact, we grew up in very similar households. He is kind-hearted and my dog fell in love with him years before we started to date. He doesn't have a cruel bone in his body.

He simply feels a wife should fall into line with her husband's life, his goals, his dreams, his visions of the preferred future. I don't know where he got this from, since his parents aren't that way, they are very much equal partners and have been for 56 years.

He has told me that if we get married, I won't have to work, I can focus on the ministry and he'll support the family. He drives truck for a living and does okay financially.

I think the biggest reason he doesn't want to move is that he is afraid that after 46 years of pretty much living in the same house (when he moved two years ago after his parents sold the farm, he only moved two houses up the street), he won't be able to adjust to living somewhere else. He doesn't even want to try, not even for a little while. Maybe his shyness is at work, but it isn't because he is evil. You won't find a kinder or more gentle person anywhere and the one thing I would never worry about is any kind of abuse.

Hmm...I maybe sounded a bit harsh toward him and I apologize for that. Didn't mean to sound harsh. I've just seen so many marriages that don't work. Glad to know he's a nice man. I'm praying that the right decision is made, for the sake of both of you.

[jochanaan]

I don't mind your questions, they are all good ones. Joe is the 5th of six children in his family and he often felt invisible to the others. He doesn't do intimacy well, and it is hard for him to talk about anything meaningful or personal because he just doesn't have practice at it. We have known each other more than 10 years but "seeing" each other about 5 years, but even though he wanted to ask me out sooner, he never did because he has difficulty talking. He talks more to me than anyone else, so I guess I should be happy about that. He's a very good person, not overtly controlling, dedicated to doing good things for the Lord. He's great on a missions trip and supports my ministry, he's even on the board.

I don't want you to think he's some kind of evil person. His family are very good people, too, dedicated to their faith and pretty well-adjusted, a lot like my family. In fact, we grew up in very similar households. He is kind-hearted and my dog fell in love with him years before we started to date. He doesn't have a cruel bone in his body.

He simply feels a wife should fall into line with her husband's life, his goals, his dreams, his visions of the preferred future. I don't know where he got this from, since his parents aren't that way, they are very much equal partners and have been for 56 years.

He has told me that if we get married, I won't have to work, I can focus on the ministry and he'll support the family. He drives truck for a living and does okay financially.

I think the biggest reason he doesn't want to move is that he is afraid that after 46 years of pretty much living in the same house (when he moved two years ago after his parents sold the farm, he only moved two houses up the street), he won't be able to adjust to living somewhere else. He doesn't even want to try, not even for a little while. Maybe his shyness is at work, but it isn't because he is evil. You won't find a kinder or more gentle person anywhere and the one thing I would never worry about is any kind of abuse.
Thanks for this, Lambslove. You have answered many of my concerns. However, at some point, he needs to realize that you have feelings and dreams too, and that they are just as important as his. You can't do this for him, although you can help by encouraging--never demanding!--him to talk about his own dreams, then sharing yours. (Contrary to popular opinion, we men actually have feelings. Some of us just don't like to admit it.:o ) The Lord never meant for any of us to remain childish except in our humility towards Him and each other.

[Cright]

:prayer:

[ZiSunka]

Thre has to be some basis that makes you feel that you can just post a question and the right answer will come?

I didn't ask anyone for an answer. I asked you all to pray and tell me what the Holy Spirit was saying to you about the matter. So far, I've gotten a lot of advice, but I wouldn't say any of it necessarily came from the Holy Spirit.

Mennonites and anabaptists in general often ask other Believers to pray about something important and listen for God's answer for them. It's a way of confirming what God says or a way of listening to God with an open mind when emotions might get in the way.

[ZiSunka]

(Contrary to popular opinion, we men actually have feelings. )

I read that in a magazine once. It's hard to believe, but if you say men have feelings, I'll take your expert opinion on it! :D :hug:

[ZiSunka]

Even when he doesn't ask for directions?

Ask directions--he doesn't even give good directions! :doh: Once when I was driving, he didn't tell me I had passed up the exit we needed until 20 miles later! :D

Or, leaves his dirty socks by the couch?

Those are my socks.^_^

See, somedays those decisions aren't so easily made. ;)
Ultimately, it's up to you.
I'm praying for you, and Joe, my friend. :prayer:

Thanks! I just want to do the godly thing.

[Flynmonkie]

Thanks for your answer.

[JPPT1974]

We all need to listen to God
As well as hear Him
To obey and do His will
Whether we accept it or not
Because it is the right thing to do.

[Terri]

1CO 7:8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

[daveleau]

Joe proposed yesterday, but I didn't give him an answer. I'm inclined to say no. Would you all pray and tell me what you think the Spirit is telling you about this?

Praying for God's guidance in your decision.

[daveleau]

Heavenly Father,
We are so blessed daily by the things You do for us and by Your guidance. We thank You for all those that care for us and follow Your guidance about love for each other. We thank You most of all for Your Son and our salvation. We know that You will guide us in decisions and we thank You that our friend, Lambslove, is seeking Your guidance in this important decision in her life. We pray that You give her discernment about this decision and give her security in whatever path You have for her. We pray that You make Your will known to her without question and cast out any doubt that Satan may put in her path to try to trip her up. We know You can do all things and that if we seek Your will that You will give us guidance to follow it. Thank You for Your love and for the blessings You continually give us.
In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

[fanintoflame]

don't say yes just because you think it will make him happy... or not to hurt him... it doesnt sound like you are ready.... i have no clue about your situation but I would suggest to be honest and tell him you arent ready yet ... if he cannot accept that then he isnt the right one for you

[daveleau]

After reading this thread, also praying that others will intercede with lambslove in prayer rather than/in addition to trying to give advice. :)

[Flynmonkie]

don't say yes just because you think it will make him happy... or not to hurt him... it doesnt sound like you are ready.... i have no clue about your situation but I would suggest to be honest and tell him you arent ready yet ... if he cannot accept that then he isnt the right one for you
Your right! The Holy Spirit has a way of tugging at our "conscience" or "heart" when making decisions. Telling us something is wrong. Sadly though Satan has the same ability to mimic God. That is usually when we are confused. We pray and seek guidance through Gods help. God is not the author of confusion. When we are confused we know it is not of God it is either ourselves or Satan. Try and test everything we think or hear or feel through prayer and scripture.

After reading this thread, also praying that others will intercede with lambslove in prayer rather than/in addition to trying to give advice. :)

I am sorry Dave But I do see others telling her they are praying and have prayed. [1.1 edit/removal] Instead when others post what they "feel" or “think” which is exactly how the Holy Spirit works. Then they decide who has the Holy Spirit or not?! Since when does the Holy Spirit not work through advice of other fellow Christians? Hence the reason I posed my earlier question. Personally, I think it to be a very dangerous thing to erroneously post to pray and see what the Holy Spirit tells you about another’s situation. Will God work through that – absolutely! But there are Christians that do not understand this, and are still learning their walk. There is a criteria that goes along with this method if not followed, one can end up in dangerous territory.

[Flynmonkie]

Lambslove, I do realize you are upset by my phrasing in the post, and poor choice of wording -- my deepest apologies for this. My hope was to get to you to see how confusing you are coming across to others not to offend. But it did seem as if you only wanted to hear what you wanted to hear, not others thoughts on the matter.

Let me give you my perception. After reading your explanation I understand there are a select few here that you did not appreciate their responses. I understand that now. However, your comments before this were general and to my post directly you explicitly expressed that you were not so sure any of the "thoughts" posted were spirit driven. This is highly offending.

Here is my problem with this. First of all - I absolutely agree that God does work through our fellow Christians via the Holy Spirit. But once one has reached that maturity of faith, I feel there is a responsibility in how you handle that. A biblical responsibility of each Christian involved for you and those praying for you.

Those that have posted their thoughts directly towards this man are wrong. They have absolutely no idea who he is or his heart condition -- other than what you have said. I personally do not think anything negatively toward him. Nor have I posted such things.

Some Christians feel that making statements like this man has made to you is a sign of a lack of maturity in the person’s relationship with God in this area (unhealthy views toward a biblical marriage amongst other things “The man runs the house” line of thinking) so therefore comments were made in that arena. Some have not reached maturity in their walk to know exactly how to express those thoughts correctly when the Holy Sprit does impress thoughts on them. However, I know there is scripture claiming not to worry about what we say, the Holy Spirit will do all that needs to be done, but there is also a responsibility for those things we can control. This I believe is a learned behavior.

You can count me in on that lack of communication issue because obviously you have resolved yourself to the thought that I would say you had evil intentions (not sure where that came from) but obviously I am lacking in the area of communication too.

Initially you asked in your post for prayer and what you felt the Holy Spirits guidance was for you via other people. But later you seemed to question others in their response – and I dare say not kindly either. (see quoted post below)

I asked that you explain yourself. Or at least part of the reason I asked that you explain what it is you meant. Because believe it or not there are people out there that post very serious questions and do not know the difference between what is from the Holy Spirit and what is not. Or they are still learning how to listen and talk with God. So as I am sure you understand. That could prove to be devastating to ones Christian walk. Especially if they don’t know to try and test the “advice” or “thoughts” posted following the biblical method of trying and testing.

In addition, mainly my concern was to make it a bit plainer many Christians do not know the difference between what the Holy Spirit (answers) is telling them vs. Christian Advice yet. Thinking their thoughts translated to “advice” is what the Holy Sprit wants. And this can very well happen too. I think it is very important to recognize others and where they are in their Christian walk so to speak. I feel it is unfair to discount either in this manner…if you do you should be very specific and give biblical or at the very least a Christian stance on why. IOW your posts seem to reflect an attitude of “I just asked you to pray – and tell me what you think, but I want it my way.” I am sure you know this is not how it works. But others will not. I did not elaborate at the time when you answered (post quoted below) because I was offended by your answer and that was not the right time for me to “return post”. I wanted to gather my thoughts on the subject and wording before I did. But then to see Davelau make the post he did, I made the post without thinking how I came across just posted exactly what I was thinking at the time. Because I believe most everyone in this thread were making honest posts in order to “help” you. With good intentions, not bad I should have taken more time to respond - This is my bad.

I gave my first initial impression to you earlier in this thread - Then my experience as thoughts towards a “gut feeling” and “experience” as fellowship. Perhaps you should be a bit clearer when you post things such as this, with respect to those Christians whom have yet to understand or develop this part of their relationship with God.

I didn't ask anyone for an answer. I asked you all to pray and tell me what the Holy Spirit was saying to you about the matter. So far, I've gotten a lot of advice, but I wouldn't say any of it necessarily came from the Holy Spirit.

Mennonites and anabaptists in general often ask other Believers to pray about something important and listen for God's answer for them. It's a way of confirming what God says or a way of listening to God with an open mind when emotions might get in the way.

I am not Mennonite, however this is how I do and have done things. I never had been taught this – it just happened this way. So I do understand it completely.

[daveleau]

Closed at OP's request.