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View Full Version : The Definitive Tashlich Guide - start your year with a chuckle!!


Henaynei
4th October 2005, 06:41 PM
http://www.twilightbridge.com/hobbies/festivals/rosh/tashlich.htm

On Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year), there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean (or a stream or river), pray, and then throw bread crumbs onto the water, so that the fish can symbolically eat their sins. Some people have been known to ask what kind of bread crumbs should they throw.

Here is the definitive Tashlich Guide for the Complicated Modern Jew

For ordinary sins........................................White Bread
For exotic sins.........................................French Bread
For particularly dark...................................Pumpernickel
For complex sins.........................................Multi-Grain
For twisted sins............................................Pretzels
For tasteless sins........................................Rice Cakes
For sins of indecision.......................................Waffles
For sins committed in haste....................................Matzo
For sins of chutzpah.....................................Fresh Bread
For the sin of substance abuse/marijuana................Stoned Wheat
For the sin of substance abuse/heavy drugs................Poppy Seed
For the sin of committing auto theft.........................Caraway
For the sin of committing arson................................Toast
For the sin of passiveness when action is warranted.......Milk Toast
For the sin of being ill-tempered/sulky....................Sourdough
For the sin of cheating customers.........................Shortbread
For the sin of risking one's life unnecessarily............HeroBread
For the sin of excessive use of irony......................Rye Bread
For the sin of telling bad jokes..........................Corn Bread
For the sin of being money hungry..........................Raw Dough
For the sin of war-mongering............................Kaiser Rolls
For the sin of immodest dressing...............................Tarts
For the sin of causing injury or damage to others.............Tortes
For the sin of promiscuity..................................Hot Buns
For the sin of promiscuity with gentiles...............Hot CrossBuns
For the sin of davening (praying) off tune.................FlatBread
For the sin of being holier than thou.........................Bagels
For the sin of indecent photography......................Cheese Cake
For the sin of over-eating............................Stuffing Bread
For the sin of gambling..............................Fortune Cookies
For sin of abrasiveness........................................Grits
For sins of pride....................................... Puff Pastry
For the sin of cheating......Baked Goods with Nutrasweet and Olestra
For sin of impetuousness.................................Quick Bread
For negligent slip-ups..................................Banana Bread
For the sin of dropping in without warning..................Popovers
For the sin of perfectionism.........................Angel Food Cake
For the sin of being up-tight and irritable..High Fiber Bran Muffins

Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone. For those who require a wide selection of crumbs, an attempt will be made to have pre-packaged Tashlich Mix available in three grades (Tashlich Lite, Regular, and Industrial Strength) at your local Jewish bookstore.

Henaynei
4th October 2005, 06:45 PM
http://judaism.about.com/od/roshhashana/a/shana_tashlich.htm (http://judaism.about.com/od/roshhashana/a/shana_tashlich.htm)
On Rosh HaShana, Jews walk to flowing water, say a prayer, and symbolically throw their sins into the water. This custom is called Tashlich (casting off).

Tashlich is done on the first afternoon of Rosh HaShana. If Rosh Hashana falls on Shabbat, then Tashlich is done on the second day of Rosh HaShana. If Tashlich was not done on Rosh Hashana, it may be said anytime during the Ten Days of Repentance. The practice of Tashlich is not discussed in the Bible, but it is a long-standing custom.

Tashlich Prayer

Who is like You, G-d, who removes iniquity and overlooks transgression of the remainder of His inheritance. He does not remain angry forever because He desires kindness. He will return and He will be merciful to us, and He will conquer our iniquities, and He will cast off our sins into the depths of the seas. Give truth to Jacob, kindness to Abraham, like that you swore to our ancestors from long ago.

jgonz
4th October 2005, 10:48 PM
That was hilarious Henaynei! ^_^

Sephania
4th October 2005, 11:14 PM
We used some left over challah this afternoon, my guess would be you threw cornbread Henaynei? ;)

talmidim
4th October 2005, 11:32 PM
Hats off! I tippah my kippah!

Henaynei
5th October 2005, 05:14 AM
We used some left over challah this afternoon, my guess would be you threw cornbread Henaynei? ;)http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/12/12_4_55.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm824BCUS):P

Vaneeza Malkah
5th October 2005, 10:25 PM
funny :D :P