Sexual Sin- Questions and Comments

[Chosen of God]

Do you have any thoughts about it?

I have to admit that I lust majorly, to the point of fantasies and other things, and afterwards I always feel really guilty about it. How far is too far? Is this normal? If it's so normal, why is it a sin and why do I feel so bad about it?

And like a few of you have told me, I'm scared. I am frightened that I'm going to go too far later on in adolescence and end up selling myself before my time. Like the girl in my story, I don't know if, once I'm no longer an extremely niave young teen, I'll be able to keep from opening the sealed door. I'm terrified of falling, even if that's a long way away. I'm scared of myself and the power I have apart from God- and depressed about the lack of power I have apart from God, to keep from doing evil. I already lust, and I know what I am capable of doing, even if not physically yet. And it scares me. Please forgive me for being so blunt, but I would appreciate any comments, especially to know that someone is going through the same garbage I am. Thank you so much for even posting this and God keep you strong in Him.
Chosen

[Kevin Carter]

I think many people go through things similar to this. I don't know if you're male or female but I know that most males struggle with this. Like you, I sometimes scare myself with what I find myself trying or wanting to do. For the most part I have always kept from giving in but it's not always been easy.

The best thing to do is this. Keep yourself out of situations where you will have to compromise. The Bible says to run from sexual immorality. For most other sins it only says avoid, but for this one it says to run from it. God knows the desires he has created us to have for our spouse. Those are not evil desires when expressed in a loving and committed relationship with your spouse. anything else however is a sin not only against God but against your self as well. Do not allow yourself to be in those situations. Do not date people who believe that sex before marriage is fine, etc... In essence, run from this.

I sometimes have fantasized about things that if I did, would ruin my life. Those things scare me to know that part of my being desires that. I don't like that part of me. What I'm truly desiring is a committed relationship with a spouse, but in todays society that is not the preferred option. So it is hard, but for the most part I run from it. If you don't allow yourself into the situation, you won't have to worry about messing up. Also, do not set a line for yourself that is just as far as you can go. Your choice in life should not be how far is too far and I will go that far but no further. Invariably that line will become blurred and you will cross it. Set your line far from the aspect of sin to protect yourself. Don't get into heavy makeout sessions, petting is a no no, don't get naked, etc... I would say that until married much of anything past a mild kiss is too far because it leads you down a path that leads to problems. I wish I didn't have to be so blunt but I work with youth and I have learned that you have to be.

Sorry for rambling, hope that helps you. I am a 23 year old male and I too struggle with these things still. I have made it this far though because of running from sexual immorality. It's not always the popular choice and at times you'll be made fun of because of doing that since it's not today's status quo, but in the end, once you're married you will be glad you waited and followed this advice.

[Rev Moon jr]

The true nature of the human fall is that Adam and Eve had a sexual relationship before they were spiritually mature. They ate the fruit before it was ripe and without God's permission.
Now is the time of the Second Advent of Christ and the most important thing is to keep pure.
Satan tempted Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, Eve ate and gave the fruit to Eve. They covered their sexual parts and were ashamed. Satan is still dominating us, as decendants of Adam and Eve, and causing us to "fall" and to be impure.
God has been trying to raise up one man and one woman to resist satan's temptations and stand as a true son and daughter of God. When God gives His permission to the first true man and first true moman to marry, they will create the first true family, which will multiple to create the first nation of God that Jesus talks about in Mat.21:33-43

[carma]

Rev Moon, jr.

Can you please give scripture to show where your beliefs about Adam and Eve came from?

[Kevin Carter]

And that previous junk post will help the original poster how? Ok, now we're saying that no one is allowed to have sex yet? :rolleyes:

[Chosen of God]

To quote "Dilbert", Wouldn't your philosiphies lead to the extinction of the human race?

[Rev Moon jr]

God's commandment, "do not eat" was only meant for that time where Adam and Eve were sexually maturing and before they were to receive God's permission to multiply. After perfecting their love, Adam and Eve were to freely multiply, with enthusiasm; never before.
[ Imagine multiplying immaturity or imperfection!]

God's original standard has never changed. God has been restoring humankind back to the original standard.
God has called Rev. Moon to create a world-wide culture of God-centered true marriage and true family, thus restoring God’s original standard.
God’s eternal standard is for men and women to spiritually mature, by becoming absolutely unselfish, unconditional and unchanging in their love, centering on God. They are to keep pure before marriage and faithful after marriage.
Human history is a history of God restoring humankind back to the spiritual level of Adam and Eve, before the fall. Then God sends the Messiah to His “chosen” people, who will lead the people the final steps to perfection.
Everything was prepared at the time of Jesus but the “chosen” people did not accept Jesus as their Messiah.
Today, we do not kill the adulterer as they did in Jesus’ time but the standard is just as strict. Now, God is expecting Christians to lead the world-wide movement for purity, true love and true marriage, in preparation for the Second Coming. The pure in heart will see God!

[Kevin Carter]

I have no problem with most of the above statement. I do think that we should be pure and faithful.

[ImpressiveClergyMan]

Mawwage- mawwage is what bwings us togethe today. Mawwage that bwesseth awwangement...that dweam, within a dweam...

[Kevin Carter]

Wuv, twue wuv.

[Thunderchild]

CoG - You are at an age when the person is designed to start thinking about a future in partnership with another. OK - so society will decree that it is not acceptable for you to be in partnership yet...maybe you even agree with society. But the design hasn't changed.

Be careful of labelling things as sins when they may not be.

[carma]

Pastor Thunderchild,

You also teach that one need not be married to live together as husband and wife.

Correct?

[Kevin Carter]

The Bible speaks of lusting after someone in your heart being a sin as well. If you have a feeling that's one thing, if you sit there and fantasize about it, that's another.

[Thunderchild]

Carma - tut.

I state only what the Bible states - that if a couple swyve and later separate, that separation is a divorce. It is not given to people that they may avoid responsibility for their actions by setting aside the scripture in favour of the precepts of men.

Not until the 1600s did the church declare that a marriage was not a marriage except that it be established by a prescribed ceremony under a priest. Until then, marriage was held in honour, however established.

Kevin Carter - agreed.

[carma]

Ok, let's try again. Maybe this time, you could answer the question.


Do you believe and teach it is ok for a man and women to live together as husband and wife without the benefit of legal marriage?

[Thunderchild]

Carma

1/ I do not advocate being married without undertaking the official ceremony.

2/ If, for whatever reason, a couple has come together without a lawful ceremony, I do not advocate divorce in the name of the Christ.

So yes, I do support a couple being together without a ceremony - when it has already been done.

Now, did you have a point to make with the question you asked? It does not seem at all relevant to CoG's query.

[carma]

Yes it had a point. I clearly remember you saying that a marriage ceremony was not necessary, on another board.

You said this in your post to CoG:

Be careful of labelling things as sins when they may not be.

Thoughts are not sin, but it is what one does with those thoughts or if someone says, "it's my thoughts, I can't be blamed for those" and does not attempt to stop it; is not doing what God's Word says.

If one person thinks something is sin for them, scripture says, indeed it is sin.

Some things are clear and in black and white.

You are saying that someone living together is not sin and you support that and that is clearly sin. You act as if the people leaving that relationship would be committing sin.

You are teaching something very wrong in that and what you are telling CoG is on the same lines.

[Thunderchild]

What I am telling CoG is not at all along the same lines. I have said to her only that labelling the desire for a mate as a sin is incorrect.

As to: You are saying that someone living together is not sin and you support that and that is clearly sin. You act as if the people leaving that relationship would be committing sin.

You are teaching something very wrong in that and what you are telling CoG is on the same lines. Please be kind enough to supply the scripture references which show that my declaration is incorrect.

[Dyingt0Live]

hey thunderchild-so is marriage by ceremony biblical, or just something society decided to do? and if it's just a ritual of society, then why do you support it?

[JKnappGirl]

Thunderchild, the Bible talks many times about sexual immorality. Living together as man and wife is immoral. God meant sex to be AFTER marriage, not before; sleeping around with just anyone {whom you think you love} just cheapens sex, and I don't think God wants that. Also, sleeping around is dangerous to health, and God commands us to take care of ourselves because our bodies are "temples of the Holy Spirit".
To get back to CoG...I struggled with the same things...I still do, to some extent. I used to fantasize about all kinds of sexual stuff. In fact, I hate to admit it, but I was also looking at some pretty bad stuff on the Internet. I always felt tremendeous guilt afterwords, but it seemed like I couldn't stop. I couldn't, by myself. I had to ask God to help me, and even then, I had a hard time. I thank God that He forgives...
So, hold on, CoG. God can and WILL get you through this time of trial!http://www.plauder-smilies.de/party/yelclap.gif

[LouisBooth]

in OT the marrage still had its cerimony..it was a hugh feast before they consimated the marriage..yes you need a public "showing" saying hey, we are married now.

[PrincessTracy]

There have always been "weddings"

Through out the bible the church is talked about as the "bride" and Jesus is referred to as the "bride groom"

There were Greek and Hebrew ceremonies. In fact there were even certain things men and women had to do to even become engaged. Weddings were not thought up by the catholic church... umm where was Jesus' first miracle preformed?

BTW Princess Bride is one of my fave all time movies too!!
"Did you say 'I do'? If you didn't say it, then you didn't do it!" (don't get me started I can quote the whole movie I think hehe) :lol:

Back to the original question, we all go through it. :( I've struggled with purity for years. I'm now engaged and my fiancee and I have made a commitment to the Lord and to each other that we will wait, but it still isn't easy. The best I can tell you is to keep praying and the Lord will give you strength.

Also I agree with Kevin, don't put yourself in a situation that is difficult to get out of, or even impossible. If you allow yourself in the wrong situation with the wrong person they could take from you what you don't want to give.
Not everyone is as worried about your purity and well being as you are. And sometimes people will say or do whatever they have to, to get what they want. I would really warn againest dating non-believers. Dating is like an interview for marriage and there is no since calling someone in for an interview that doesn't have the "skills or knowledge" for the job.

Pray without end!

In Christ Love,
Tracy

[EvilTeuf]

What do you mean by sexual sin? By most conservative Christians' standards, I'd be a terribly evil sinner... I feel fine with that. To quote both God and Popeye, I am what I am.

[JKnappGirl]

Sexual sin - lusting, touching inappropriately before marriage, sexual intercourse before marriage.

That is how I define sexual sin...anyone else have anything they want to add?

[Aquafina1]

Hey Chosen I just read your post.

I'm new so foorgive me if I overstep a few boundaries with what I am about to post. I read a few replies but not all so I may repeat someone.

As guys we are sexual beings and we think alot. Heck, most of the women in the world dress so skimpy that you cant help but start to fantasize. Its hard to be a guy in society and keep your thoughts pure.

But Ill be real with you, it gets harder. Its hard to not have sex before marriage and its hard to remain that way throughout all of the persecution. But god tells us to trust him with our heart, mind, and soul. he knows we are imperfect and he knows that we will make our mistakes. That is what kept Jesus on the cross.

I didnt have the luxery of being saved, I was lost for a long time and wandered the world of Teenage lust. To be honest sex is great, God intended it to be awesome. I will be honest and say that I enjoyed sex. But with sex comes consequences, relationships shatter and walls are built. There is a reason he suggests marriage before sex, not to be strict but to keep us safe.

Its hard to say no, and in your posts I was trully amazed at your honesty. How you said that you were afraid of what you would do without God is a very real statement. I think you have the right Idea, but the one thing that helped me out is finding the right friends.

Good Luck Bud

[WWJD777]

Check the sermon on the mount. Matt. 5. If you comit a doltery in your heart. ****ography for instance is a sin. Now I hope you know that sex out of mariage is bad, but if you want to make out till your lips fall of, go ahead aslong as she or he is a Christian. If this makes you feel gilty, stop. Wait. Whats your hurry?

[Athlon4all]

I agree, look in the Sermon on the Mount, particularly at Matt 5:28 (I think) . I hear ya Aquafina1. It's tough not to look! I really try to folllow what Matt. 5:28 says about not even looking, but I'd be guilty so often of this! I though do have the blessing of growing up in a Christian Household and being saved at an early age. Chosen, I hear ya! It's tough, and I too feel guilty when I even just look or fantasize, but I think that if you just pray that the Lord would protect you and keep you from going over the edge, he will help you! I am a weak Teenager, and really all I can do I feel is pray but that's not just for Teens but everyone! I think maybe one of the biggest things is too pray not only that he would keep your thoughts pure, but that he would help you be patient. WWJD777, It's not that simple as wait, these feelings are strong! Just to sum up, pray that the Lord would protect you and keep you strong and your thoughts pure. God Bless!

[Thunderchild]

Dyingt0Live
Visitor
Posts: 2
(10/7/01 3:40:00 pm)
Re: Sexual Sin- Questions and Comments
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hey thunderchild-so is marriage by ceremony biblical, or just something society decided to do? and if it's just a ritual of society, then why do you support it?

Marriage by ceremony was not part of the Jewish system. Marriage was established on the basis of a contract signed between the groom and the father of the bride.

Lemme see now - What was it Paul said? Ah yes, here tis... 1Cr 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. Oh my. It wasn't the contract that made the two to be one flesh after all.

Now what was the Old Testament law regarding two people swyving before the contract was signed? Hmmmm... Oh, the penalty was death if the woman was betrothed. What if she wasn't?

Deu 22:28 If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Deu 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
ACK.... It says there that the couple may NEVER be divorced. In the ordinary course, a marriage could be ended at the drop of a hat under OT law. ***by the way, the rendering of "lay hold on her and lie with her" does not constitute rape as some translations state. Rape is dealt with earlier in chapter 22, but if that does not convince....**Exd 22:16 And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.

Of course, it should not be necessary to mention that the penalty for a rapist in that earlier section being death, the corpse would a/ not make a suitable husband b/ not be able to sign the marriage contract c/ not have access to the cash so as to be able to meet the bride price.

[Thunderchild]

As to why I advocate marriage by ceremony, the answer should now be clear.

Taking the other course will almost inevitably result in someone following suit who is not convinced that it is right - in which case we would fall foul of scriptural admonition.

This problem does of course not arise in places where the mere claim to be married establishes a couple as being married, as unless the "without having a ceremony" is added, no-one would know the difference.

If a couple is forced to separate having entered into a relationship without the ceremony, a divorce has been decreed (note that **there will be terrible times in the last days, men will be (among other less than savoury things) forbidding marriage.**

While in principle I would not advocate that a couple enter into a marriage without a ceremony, there are circumstances where there may be no alternative to using the provisions that have been made (in some places) for common law marriage.

And there is a simple reason for advocating a ceremony - that when times get tough, as they will even in the best of marriages, the ceremony provides an anchor, and a pleasant trip down memory lane.

However, I have been informed recently (so far, no time to look it up) that in the earliest church, the leaders of those congregations would refuse to do the exchange rings bit because it was based in pagan precept.

[lisa03wilson]

sorry to jump in the middle of things here, but we learned in Latin that the romans used rings in marriage. They would wear iron rings on the third finger because that is where they believed the vein to the heart was.

[The Squalid Wanderer]

which is heretical.

The Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity, more commonly known as the Unification Church or the “Moonies,” is the religious movement oriented around the teachings and person of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Despite Moon’s goal of uniting all Christian groups, his unique teachings about the person and work of Christ are among many elements that make such unification impossible.

The Unification Church presents an understanding of God that is essentially monistic (i.e., God is one Person Who manifests Himself at different times as the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit). Regarding the Trinity, Young Oon Kim states, “Jesus and the Holy Spirit become one body centered on God; this is called ‘Trinity.’”

The Unification Church’s denial of the Trinity is a denial of the Deity of Christ. This denial is clearly seen in Moon’s statement, “Jesus, on earth, was a man no different from us except for the fact that he was without original sin.” Despite his belief that Christ was without original sin (i.e., the guilt of sin inherited from Adam), Moon denies the Virgin Birth, alleging that Christ was the half-brother of John the Baptist as the result of an incestuous relationship between Zechariah and the Virgin Mary.

A key point of Unification theology is that Christ failed in His role as Messiah. Christ’s mission, according to Moon, was to find “a bride, a Mother — another Eve. So God intended for this perfected Adam — Jesus Christ — to restore his bride, the perfected Eve.” Because Christ failed to marry, He was provided the crucifixion as a means of effecting “spiritual” salvation; nonetheless, “there is no one who has been cleansed of original sin. It is for this reason that the Messiah must appear again on earth, to liquidate our sins completely and establish the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, fulfilling God’s purpose for the Creation.” This “Messiah” who will fulfill God’s plan is the “Lord of the Second Advent” — the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.