Relapse, please pray

[Music4Hym777]

Hey Everyone,

I am asking for prayers as I get back on my feet again. Last night was not a good night for me and I relapsed in my eating disorder. I of course had to tell my fiance, which is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. He was really sweet about it, said he wasn't upset because I told him right away (although I know it hurt some).

We now have a game plan and the rest of my life depends on it. The rules are that he wont take action right now (we had an agreement earlier that if I ever did relapse then it was into inpatient, but since its a one time thing so far, he isn't gonna do anything but pray). However if I do it again then here are the stipulations

If I tell him right away and dont try to hide it:
Then I just have to go back into see a psychologist on a regular basis until I can stand on my feet again. He will help me find one or whatever since he not only knows the area better than I do, but he knows our new pastor better than I do (if I need some help finding a place to go, pastors are good about that). Plus he wants me to stay in school if I can.

If I dont tell him, try to hide, it and he finds out (which he always does):
#1 The marriage is off, which is a scary thing, because he warned me that ahead of time not to "lie" or "withhold" this from him. I dont know what I would do without him.

#2 As if not marrying him would be torture enough, on top of that, I may as well kiss this semester good-bye, pack up, because we would be heading to an inpatient eating disorder center. I have already been signed up for one at a time and since I am still in the data base there, I would probably wind up there. I dont get any say in it, I know I am an adult, but he would get his father involved and that right there would put me in the inpatient treatment center because I listen to my pastor.

#3 He basically tells me that I would be starting over from square one. All over again, that scares me too. He was really adamant about that.

#4 On top of not marrying him, IF we remained friends, he would approve my class schedule before I could sign up for it.

(I know this isn't in writing contract form yet, but I can almost gaurantee that it will be within a few weeks)





So, please ya'll pray that things work out, I love my fiance and dont want to hurt him any further. I NEED to get over this and I know that with God's help I can get through this. It really is freaking me out, because it had been over 9 months since I last did anything ED active.

:hug: Thanks everyone!
Monica

[SPALATIN]

Hey Everyone,

I am asking for prayers as I get back on my feet again. Last night was not a good night for me and I relapsed in my eating disorder. I of course had to tell my fiance, which is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. He was really sweet about it, said he wasn't upset because I told him right away (although I know it hurt some).

We now have a game plan and the rest of my life depends on it. The rules are that he wont take action right now (we had an agreement earlier that if I ever did relapse then it was into inpatient, but since its a one time thing so far, he isn't gonna do anything but pray). However if I do it again then here are the stipulations

If I tell him right away and dont try to hide it:
Then I just have to go back into see a psychologist on a regular basis until I can stand on my feet again. He will help me find one or whatever since he not only knows the area better than I do, but he knows our new pastor better than I do (if I need some help finding a place to go, pastors are good about that). Plus he wants me to stay in school if I can.

If I dont tell him, try to hide, it and he finds out (which he always does):
#1 The marriage is off, which is a scary thing, because he warned me that ahead of time not to "lie" or "withhold" this from him. I dont know what I would do without him.

#2 As if not marrying him would be torture enough, on top of that, I may as well kiss this semester good-bye, pack up, because we would be heading to an inpatient eating disorder center. I have already been signed up for one at a time and since I am still in the data base there, I would probably wind up there. I dont get any say in it, I know I am an adult, but he would get his father involved and that right there would put me in the inpatient treatment center because I listen to my pastor.

#3 He basically tells me that I would be starting over from square one. All over again, that scares me too. He was really adamant about that.

#4 On top of not marrying him, IF we remained friends, he would approve my class schedule before I could sign up for it.

(I know this isn't in writing contract form yet, but I can almost gaurantee that it will be within a few weeks)





So, please ya'll pray that things work out, I love my fiance and dont want to hurt him any further. I NEED to get over this and I know that with God's help I can get through this. It really is freaking me out, because it had been over 9 months since I last did anything ED active.

:hug: Thanks everyone!
Monica

Monica,

You will be in my prayers. I would say that he is just as afraid as you are and if you were to hide this and not tell him you would be breaching the trust that he has in you and distrust is not what you want in a marriage. I also think that he wouldn't want to watch what happens to someone waste away and die. The ramifications of this disease are horrible and I wouldn't want to watch it either.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you and it looks promising. Satan is angry that you have your faith and along with it a man who seems to care an awful lot about you. Don't let the devil have his way and bring you back to a life of pain and deceit. I saw the picture you put in your profile and you are a very good looking young woman. Don't fall into the trappings the world is throwing your way. It is just like when Christ was being tempted in the desert. He used scripture to fight off the devil's temptations.

Keep the faith!

Pax Christi
Scott

[KagomeShuko]

Dear God,

I pray that you help Monica through this difficult time in her life. I pray for her healing and that she and her fiance can work through these things together. I ask that you not let Satan get to her. You know that she has a strong faith and that she wants to live her life for You. The enemy is strong, but You are stronger, Lord. I ask all of this through Jesus Christ our Lord, Your only Son, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit now and forever. Amen.

[LilLamb219]

I had a nice posting but a back up was going on here on the board so my posting got lost :(

Anyway, I'm very sorry to hear you had another relapse. I read your list and one thing I'd like for you to add is to get better for YOU. I've read your postings here on the board and you have a very strong mind. I know that if you focus you can conquer this. If the urge to relapse happens again, head straight to the phone and tell a loved one right away. Don't be afraid to let them know as they want to help you.

[Jim47]

You will be in my prayers. Just don't let fear ruin your life or you will have problems. Pray for strength and let God and others help you. Live your life in love and in confidence and that will show him that you have every intention of beating this thing. :wave:

[C.F.W. Walther]

Monica-----I'd would be VERY wise to look into a support group. Even though you have been able to combat it for 9 months you still have the "want". This is something that will not go away with self will power. I don't know if "anonymous" groups are formed for ED but OA would be very helpfull even though they are for overeaters. The primary purpose is that you are powerless over the problem and need the support of other people and the 12 steps that are involved withn the program. It really works! I've done counseling work for co-dependents and ran "anonymous" programs for them and just sharing problems and what these people did to combat CO is some of the best help out there.

Prayers for you:thumbsup:

[Music4Hym777]

Monica,

You will be in my prayers. I would say that he is just as afraid as you are and if you were to hide this and not tell him you would be breaching the trust that he has in you and distrust is not what you want in a marriage.

This is very true, I have seen him break off friendships because someone lied to him. If you dont start with telling him, he understands maybe he's not the one that a person wants to tell, but if you tell him and then lie or withhold stuff from him, you better be willing to kiss that friendship goodbye (or in my case, kiss my marriage goodbye).

I also think that he wouldn't want to watch what happens to someone waste away and die. The ramifications of this disease are horrible and I wouldn't want to watch it either.
This is why he wants so badly for me to get over it. I mean we are going to be married in a year and if I am still active (we are considering this time a little slip up and not necessarily being active) then that is going to be awful for him and me. I dont want him to have to see me in a casket at such an early age if I can help it (now if something like cancer or a car accident happens, thats something different).

You have the rest of your life ahead of you and it looks promising. Satan is angry that you have your faith and along with it a man who seems to care an awful lot about you. My faith and my fiance are the only ones right now that I can see helping me get through this, my best friend is scared to talk about it and its not comfortable talking to her. My family would rather not think about it, I am supposed to be their perfect daughter and I have screwed up.


Don't let the devil have his way and bring you back to a life of pain and deceit. That is the last thing I want, but I wont deny that it kind of did feel good when I relapsed.

I saw the picture you put in your profile and you are a very good looking young woman. Don't fall into the trappings the world is throwing your way. It is just like when Christ was being tempted in the desert. He used scripture to fight off the devil's temptations. One of my favorite verses when dealing with this is Phil 3:19 "19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things." I know that they are talking about gluttony there, but it can also have the opposite too.

[Music4Hym777]

Monica-----I'd would be VERY wise to look into a support group. Even though you have been able to combat it for 9 months you still have the "want". This is something that will not go away with self will power. I don't know if "anonymous" groups are formed for ED but OA would be very helpfull even though they are for overeaters. The primary purpose is that you are powerless over the problem and need the support of other people and the 12 steps that are involved withn the program. It really works! I've done counseling work for co-dependents and ran "anonymous" programs for them and just sharing problems and what these people did to combat CO is some of the best help out there.

Prayers for you:thumbsup:

They do have an EDA, but not where I live. I have been in support groups before and they are not the best thing for me. I might go back into private counseling (that works better), but I dont know yet, not only is it expensive, it takes up a lot of time. If this is a one time thing and I can bounce back really quickly, then I'm not going to go, but if I need it, not only do I have resources through the Counseling center at the University, but I also have a fiance who loves me enough to ask the pastor for some recommendations (he knows that I would be scared to that to the point where I wouldn't if he wasn't there with me, my past with pastors is not great).

[LilLamb219]

but I wont deny that it kind of did feel good when I relapsed.

Are you feeling that you're losing control in some areas of your life perhaps? Was this a chance to grab some control and hang onto it because you're fearful of what's going on?

[Music4Hym777]

Are you feeling that you're losing control in some areas of your life perhaps? Was this a chance to grab some control and hang onto it because you're fearful of what's going on?

A little bit yes, since I have come home for the summer break from college I have felt like I have lost my freedom, my family and I do not get along at all. My mom and I can get along okay, my dad and my sister and I...oh boy fights galore.

I think things will get better when I get back to school and my fiance and I are back close together. (We are long distance for another 2 weeks)

I am working on getting over it, I have been in constant prayer and my fiance is too, so I know things will work out, it just is going to take a few days to get over the immeidiate temptations of "I've done it once, why not do it again?" Atleast now that I have the plan from my fiance it makes it easier to not want to do it again because I dont want to lose him.

[MORTANIUS]

Fear of hurting yourself mentally and physically works against you in two ways.

First, rejecting what you ingest for fear of changing yourself physically, and thus emotionally.

Secondly, fear of not resisting what is happening to you.

Musichymn, when you pray I want you to know that we will pray for you. Most importantly, know that a relapse doesn't mean you have lost. Victory and overcoming this affliction will happen for you with persistence. Please always remember this.

We will pray for you.

[Music4Hym777]

Music4hymn, when you pray I want you to know that we will pray for you. Most importantly, know that a relapse doesn't mean you have lost. Victory and overcoming this affliction will happen for you with persistence. Please always remember this.

We will pray for you.

I know that victory is not lost, but it is still really hard to think that I screwed up. I'm coping better though now that I have had some time to digest it.

[RED that's ME]

Praying for you Monica. :prayer:

[ctay]

Hope everything turns out ok for you
God Bless You

[C.F.W. Walther]

They do have an EDA, but not where I live. I have been in support groups before and they are not the best thing for me. I might go back into private counseling (that works better), but I dont know yet, not only is it expensive, it takes up a lot of time. If this is a one time thing and I can bounce back really quickly, then I'm not going to go, but if I need it, not only do I have resources through the Counseling center at the University, but I also have a fiance who loves me enough to ask the pastor for some recommendations (he knows that I would be scared to that to the point where I wouldn't if he wasn't there with me, my past with pastors is not great).

One thing I've found out about counseling work is that people have more relapses with it than in anonymous groups simply for the fact that in counseling there is some "finger pointing" where as in OA groups you are with peers and feel less intimidated. Bill W in his first efforts with AA fell flat on his face with counseling and converted it to sharing/coping,amoung peers, with problems and it was a monumental success. In counseling I found out that the help wasn't comming from the outside but instead came from the inside where it should come from. Nuff said:)






:thumbsup:

[xristos.anesti]

Lord have mercy.

Δοχα ΑΩ

[SPALATIN]

This is very true, I have seen him break off friendships because someone lied to him. If you dont start with telling him, he understands maybe he's not the one that a person wants to tell, but if you tell him and then lie or withhold stuff from him, you better be willing to kiss that friendship goodbye (or in my case, kiss my marriage goodbye).


This is why he wants so badly for me to get over it. I mean we are going to be married in a year and if I am still active (we are considering this time a little slip up and not necessarily being active) then that is going to be awful for him and me. I dont want him to have to see me in a casket at such an early age if I can help it (now if something like cancer or a car accident happens, thats something different).

My faith and my fiance are the only ones right now that I can see helping me get through this, my best friend is scared to talk about it and its not comfortable talking to her. My family would rather not think about it, I am supposed to be their perfect daughter and I have screwed up.

That is the last thing I want, but I wont deny that it kind of did feel good when I relapsed.

One of my favorite verses when dealing with this is Phil 3:19 "19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things." I know that they are talking about gluttony there, but it can also have the opposite too.

I think then that you have the picture in front of you and realize the dangers that lie in front of you should you be tempted again. Also realize that you can talk to someone like myself who understands temptation (and yes I do relapse from time to time). We all slip up because we are sinful and I am sure that you will have an occasional slip up, but be honest with yourself and your significant other about it.

Jesus loves you so much and he sacrificed his life so that yours both now and the hereafter could be better. Take care and feel free to PM me about it at any time.

;)