Along my search, i ask for help.

[WhiteTiger2999]

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

It is a growing feeling in my heart as i think more and more about it, that God is calling me forth to enter a convent. I posted a thread i think a day or two ago about my downfall from grace, and each time I feel doubt towards God, i feel an even more stronger prescence of his love for me, and his calling to me. I was at work today, and all of the associates that work with me could tell that I was having a bad day. One of my associates comes up to me and hugs me and says "come tell me whats wrong". I start crying out of no where, I felt so utterly hopeless. I didnt tell her whats wrong until later that day when I felt much more better. But it took me a lot of thinking that made me feel better. Just sitting in my car during my lunch break, i thought of the burning desire that resides in my heart since i was in middle and high school.. to enter a convent. This for some reason calmed me slowly, though i still went throughout the day feeling hopeless and struggeling through my problems which i wish not to share. As i thought more and more on this, i remembered a few of the things a few of my friends have said about before entering a convent, that i must first learn more about my religion as much as i can before i decide to enter one. I keep thinking about this, and i know its going to take a lot for me to learn as much as i can, considering i know absolutely nothing. But i dont know where to start. I ask you all humbly, please help me. If you have any knowldge of titles of books that explain the Orthodox religion, its history please share with me the knowldge you have. As it is that i seek to possibly enter a convent after i graduate from college (which is a year and a half or two years depending how i go) I wish to learn as much as i can within this short period of time. I have started reading the bible once more, and i have read "The Way of A Pilgrim", but i wish to read more. Please help me. To those who have read my thread on my struggles, i am happy to say i am slightly feeling better. I thank you all for your prayers, as i have prayed for those who have asked it. There is so much i wish to learn about my own religion i feel as if i walk around in complete ignorance and stupidity.
God bless you all, and with much love and peace,
Your sister in Christ,
Roza

Most Holy Theotokos, have mercy on us and pray for us! Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us.

[Marjorie]

Wow, God bless you as you discern His call! Have you talked with a priest about this? If I were you I would visit a women's monastery for a week or so to help you in this process.

But anyway!

Here are the three books I always recommend to people wanting to learn about Orthodoxy:

1. The Orthodox Church (Bp. Kallistos Ware)-- history & doctrine
2. The Orthodox Way (same)-- the Orthodox worldview
3. For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy (Fr. Alexander Schmemann)-- how the sacraments inform the Orthodox worldview

For more Orthodox books, this thread should be useful: http://www.christianforums.com/t1070864-the-orthodox-book-club.html

God bless you! What is your first name so I can keep you in my prayers?

In IC XC,
Marjorie

[choirfiend]

I second those book suggestions!!

also vital for Orthodox Tradition--

The Orthodox Study Bible-NT and Psalms

The Sayings of the Desert Fathers and Mothers (the first monastics) multiple translations are available.

The Lives of the Saints--Sign up at www.goarch.org to get the daily scripture readings and saints of the day delivered to your Inbox.

Thirsting for God in a Land of Shallow Wells by Matthew Gallatin--excellent for describing Orthodox beliefs juxtaposed against others.

The Rainbow Series available here http://www.oca.org/OCorthfaith.asp?SID=2

Mother Gavrilia-The Ascetic of Love

Also, www.ancientfaithradio.org
along with attendence at all services that your schoolwork allows you and much prayer and fasting.

[MariaRegina]

It might be helpful to acquire an Orthodox CD of Liturgical Music.

If you would listen to Byzantine Chant during the day, it might calm your spirit.

Also attend Great Vespers on Saturday and Divine Liturgy on Sundays. You need the holy grace.

But above all, please contact your doctor to make sure that you are not suffering from diabetes and/or anemia or pernicious anemia (B12 deficiency) These can cause you to feel depressed.

[WhiteTiger2999]

It might be helpful to acquire an Orthodox CD of Liturgical Music.

If you would listen to Byzantine Chant during the day, it might calm your spirit.

Also attend Great Vespers on Saturday and Divine Liturgy on Sundays. You need the holy grace.

But above all, please contact your doctor to make sure that you are not suffering from diabetes and/or anemia or pernicious anemia (B12 deficiency) These can cause you to feel depressed.

:) I already listen to Gregorian Chanting, (From Italian monastaries), although the CD i compliled is about 4 years old.. ive been meaning to compile a few new ones. and update the one i have. It is very calming to listen to Gregorien chanting, i used to all the time. As far as diabetes, i know i dont suffer from that, im almost positive i dont. Anemia, im not sure. I highly doubt im suffering from any health issues. To tell you the truth honestly, I know what is causing my hopelessness and sadness, and I wouldnt call it depression.. because these feelings and thoughts come and go and they dont last for long usually... i mean criteria for depression is supposed to last a month before you can diagnose it as depression. I like to call it "confussion and hopelessness". :)

[MariaRegina]

:) I already listen to Gregorian Chanting, (From Italian monastaries), although the CD i compliled is about 4 years old.. ive been meaning to compile a few new ones. and update the one i have. It is very calming to listen to Gregorien chanting, i used to all the time. As far as diabetes, i know i dont suffer from that, im almost positive i dont. Anemia, im not sure. I highly doubt im suffering from any health issues. To tell you the truth honestly, I know what is causing my hopelessness and sadness, and I wouldnt call it depression.. because these feelings and thoughts come and go and they dont last for long usually... i mean criteria for depression is supposed to last a month before you can diagnose it as depression. I like to call it "confussion and hopelessness". :)

I am not a doctor, but perhaps you are suffering from food allergies, like I am.

Check yourself. If you eat a meal and initially you feel good, but then within 20 minutes you start to feel irritated and depressed, then you might be having a allergic reaction to food and/or diabetes. If you feel itchy with hives, then it could be an allergy.

I know a gentleman at my college who was slightly on the chubby side (not obese) and he would become depressed within about 20 minutes after eating. It was very annoying as he would insist on sitting at my table where I was studying for my next class, then he would start arguing with me over the newspaper headlines.

Finally one day he came and apologized and said that I was right to tell him to seek medical attention. He became seriously ill and went to the emergency room where they diagnosed him with uncontrolled diabetes. He spent the next 4 days in the hospital while the doctors tried to bring his blood sugar levels down to normal. He had to be hospitalized again within the next week. He missed work for a whole month while they tried to stabilize him. His friends thought that he was just mental but it was diabetes and it could have killed him because he was so stubborn and didn't want to seek medical aid.

[Theophorus]

I would recomend

A Night in the Desert of the Holy Mountain

The Ladder of Divine Ascent

and a copy of The Psalster According to the Seventy

The last two can be ordered here (http://htmadmin.phpwebhosting.com/).

[Rilian]

i have read "The Way of A Pilgrim", but i wish to read more.

Sister in Christ Roza, did you come to the part yet where the Pilgrim meets up with the Forrester? That's one of my favorite parts of the book.

[gord96]

may God guide and protect you on your journey!

[Photini]

Roza, :hug:

I think it is very important to always being actively reading the lives of the Saints, because it is a HUGE source of comfort and encouragement. Some of the ones that have touched me in a huge way are these:

St. Seraphim of Sarov, A Spiritual Biography, by Archimandrite Lazarus Moore

The Monk of Mount Athos, by Archimandrite Sophrony (it's about St Silouan)

Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, by Priestmonk Christodoulos

The Hermitess Photini, by Archimandrite Joachim Spetsieris

Precious Vessels of the Holy Spirit, by H. Middleton (Protecting Veil Press)

St Arsenios the Cappadocian, by Elder Paisios of Mount Athos

Abbess Thaisia, An Autobiography

Monastic Wisdom, The Letters of Elder Joseph the Hesychast


ALSO, good books on Orthodoxy are:

Orthodox Spirituality, by Metropolitan of Nafpaktos, Hierotheos Vlachos
and
The Mind of the Orthodox Church, also by Metropolitan Hierotheos Vlachos

[WhiteTiger2999]

Wow hmm so much to read so much to read, so little time. Thank you all for your repleys, they mean a lot to me.
Sister in Christ Roza, did you come to the part yet where the Pilgrim meets up with the Forrester? That's one of my favorite parts of the book.

I read the whole book, the forester... ill have to try and remember that!!! i cant remember what part that is. hmm

[Rilian]

I read the whole book, the forester... ill have to try and remember that!!! i cant remember what part that is. hmm

It was after the Pilgrim was beaten and had his books stolen. The forester was the one who told the Pilgrim that he thought that priests used stories of Hell and damnation to scare people and control them. The Pilgrim's response to this to me sums up the beauty of Orthodoxy.