Henaynei
19th June 2005, 06:33 PM
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jerusalemdiaries/ (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jerusalemdiaries/)
From Bill Mehlman, Jerusalem: --------------------
Herewith a (cautionary) guide to Israeli weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs and other familial celebrations:
Seating Protocol:
There are five distinct seating arrangements at all Israeli affairs:
*Strict segregation of the sexes – married, unmarried or otherwise defined -- separated by a long high curtain.
Dancing is gender exclusive.
*Strict segregation of the sexes –- temporarily minus a curtain. But the curtain goes up the minute the dancing starts.
*Mixed seating – You may share a table with your spouse, but dancing with him/her is a no-no
*Mixed seating and mixed dancing – but not with the bride.
*Anything goes
Dress:
Tuxedos and gowns are rarely seen. Jackets and ties are usually confined to the presiding prelates. Serendipity rules the night. Since most traditional Israeli family celebrations involve vigorous horas and other extremely spirited dances, sweatshirts and track shoes are recommended for those prepared to go the full monty. Non-dancers are cautioned to put a safe distance between themselves and the revelers. Unless equipped with reinforced boots and NFL shoulder pads, one should avoid getting in the way of Israeli teenagers in full flight.
The Menu:
Observers of the Jewish dietary laws are generally safe eating at most Israeli affairs. Practically all menus feature kosher food. But like many other things, "kosher" can be a highly relative adjective. In Israel, it can be interpreted three ways.
*Regular Kosher -- Food designated as such by the authorized government rabbinical authorities. It's what you normally get on an El-Al flight
*Glatt Kosher – Issued only with the approval of certain noted non-governmental rabbis whose ritual slaughter methods are de rigueur with their followers. You won't get it on El-Al unless you order it in advance.
*Supremely Kosher – also known as "B'datz" (there are Ashkenazi and Sephardi variations) which carries the authority of rabbinical mystics beyond the realm of most ordinary mortals. Not available on El-Al
Whichever variety is featured at the affair you attend, be prepared for a long wait between courses while the celebrants dance themselves into exhaustion. It's generally advisable to eat all you can hold at the smorgasbord; it may be the only solid food you'll see until well into the evening
. Time of Arrival
The invitation may say 7 p.m. but don't be misled. Time is another relative entity in Israel. It could be 8 or later before anything serious gets underway. So, unless you fancy a conversation with the caterer, take your time. If it's a Sephardic affair, take lots of time..
Table Conversation
Forget it. Israeli wedding and bar/bat mitzvah music is high decibel and non-stop. If you manage to introduce yourself to your tablemates consider yourself lucky.
Gifts.
No need to seek out the bride and groom to present your gift. Israelis are very straightforward about this sort of thing. A slotted strongbox awaits your check upon entry into the hall. There's additionally something vaguely resembling a bathtub for the deposit of more material gifts.
A Final Note of Caution:
No matter how charming they may seem, it would be politic to check out the number of children and grandchildren in the family before cementing new Israeli friendships. The Biblical commandment of pru u'revu ("be fruitful and multiply") is taken very seriously here. You could wind up befriending a couple with 9 children and 38 grandchildren, to which each of their weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs you will be duly invited. Unless you can strike back with equal forces of your own, a discretionary retirement from the field might prove the better part of valor. However, if your simcha addiction knows no bounds, you won't find a better venue in which to indulge it than Israel. Enjoy.
From: Bill Mehlman – co-editor, ZionNet Magazine .e mail: wmehlman@zahav.net.il
From Bill Mehlman, Jerusalem: --------------------
Herewith a (cautionary) guide to Israeli weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs and other familial celebrations:
Seating Protocol:
There are five distinct seating arrangements at all Israeli affairs:
*Strict segregation of the sexes – married, unmarried or otherwise defined -- separated by a long high curtain.
Dancing is gender exclusive.
*Strict segregation of the sexes –- temporarily minus a curtain. But the curtain goes up the minute the dancing starts.
*Mixed seating – You may share a table with your spouse, but dancing with him/her is a no-no
*Mixed seating and mixed dancing – but not with the bride.
*Anything goes
Dress:
Tuxedos and gowns are rarely seen. Jackets and ties are usually confined to the presiding prelates. Serendipity rules the night. Since most traditional Israeli family celebrations involve vigorous horas and other extremely spirited dances, sweatshirts and track shoes are recommended for those prepared to go the full monty. Non-dancers are cautioned to put a safe distance between themselves and the revelers. Unless equipped with reinforced boots and NFL shoulder pads, one should avoid getting in the way of Israeli teenagers in full flight.
The Menu:
Observers of the Jewish dietary laws are generally safe eating at most Israeli affairs. Practically all menus feature kosher food. But like many other things, "kosher" can be a highly relative adjective. In Israel, it can be interpreted three ways.
*Regular Kosher -- Food designated as such by the authorized government rabbinical authorities. It's what you normally get on an El-Al flight
*Glatt Kosher – Issued only with the approval of certain noted non-governmental rabbis whose ritual slaughter methods are de rigueur with their followers. You won't get it on El-Al unless you order it in advance.
*Supremely Kosher – also known as "B'datz" (there are Ashkenazi and Sephardi variations) which carries the authority of rabbinical mystics beyond the realm of most ordinary mortals. Not available on El-Al
Whichever variety is featured at the affair you attend, be prepared for a long wait between courses while the celebrants dance themselves into exhaustion. It's generally advisable to eat all you can hold at the smorgasbord; it may be the only solid food you'll see until well into the evening
. Time of Arrival
The invitation may say 7 p.m. but don't be misled. Time is another relative entity in Israel. It could be 8 or later before anything serious gets underway. So, unless you fancy a conversation with the caterer, take your time. If it's a Sephardic affair, take lots of time..
Table Conversation
Forget it. Israeli wedding and bar/bat mitzvah music is high decibel and non-stop. If you manage to introduce yourself to your tablemates consider yourself lucky.
Gifts.
No need to seek out the bride and groom to present your gift. Israelis are very straightforward about this sort of thing. A slotted strongbox awaits your check upon entry into the hall. There's additionally something vaguely resembling a bathtub for the deposit of more material gifts.
A Final Note of Caution:
No matter how charming they may seem, it would be politic to check out the number of children and grandchildren in the family before cementing new Israeli friendships. The Biblical commandment of pru u'revu ("be fruitful and multiply") is taken very seriously here. You could wind up befriending a couple with 9 children and 38 grandchildren, to which each of their weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs you will be duly invited. Unless you can strike back with equal forces of your own, a discretionary retirement from the field might prove the better part of valor. However, if your simcha addiction knows no bounds, you won't find a better venue in which to indulge it than Israel. Enjoy.
From: Bill Mehlman – co-editor, ZionNet Magazine .e mail: wmehlman@zahav.net.il