By Grace
5th May 2005, 09:39 AM
Obviously, I wasn't sure what to title this thread. I have several ideas running through my head, and I just need to brainstorm for a few minutes.
Lately, I've felt myself losing focus on several things. I'm still reading my CJB nearly every day, and trying to honor Shabbat as much as I can. I'm still working on improving and cleansing our diets, with much progress being made--DH and I are both losing weight, even though neither of us was seriously overweight to begin with, and both the girls are eating veggies better. :thumbsup: But I'm finding that I'm backing off from some other things. I still intend to celebrate the mo'edim as best I can, but I don't feel all fired up about it like I have been the past several months. And I don't feel a burning desire to attend a Messianic congregation or even to socialize with as many Messianics as I can find. Instead, I've been focusing on DH. He's still lagging behind on the spiritual growth, so I'm trying to meet him where he is. It's like I've come down from my high horse to hold his hand and walk with him for a while. I'm looking for ways to make him happy, and some of that means giving up some of the things that have been so important to me over the past several months of my spiritual growth spurt. It's not that I'm turning my back on Torah, not that at all! But I'm focusing more on the aspect of loving my husband than on things like tzitzit or festivals or whatever. There are some things that I think are very important that I'm keeping up with, and those tend to be things that DH doesn't have a problem with anyway. So I feel very comfortable that God is showing me I can continue with those while turning my focus back onto DH.
So, all of that leads into some other questions. On the King David and Pesach thread, Shimshon discussed that perhaps David didn't celebrate Pesach b/c he was more focused on heart obedience, and he lived in a time when Pesach observance possibly would have been counterproductive. Is that basically your point? That detailed observance of the letter of the law was not as important as how David related to his people? To me, that's kind of similar to what I'm experiencing. It's not so important that I observe Shabbat perfectly, as it is that I use the opportunity to make Shabbat a blessing for those around me. For example, a few weeks ago, DH was actually home on Shabbat, rather than having to work overtime. Usually, I stay home with the girls on Shabbat, and we don't go anywhere but rather spend most of our free time playing together. But that week, I really wanted DH to experience the specialness of Shabbat, to have a day to remember, a day that catered to his interests. So we went on a fishing trip to a stocked pond. True, we did have to pay money to the owners of the pond, so that was commerce, which I normally try to avoid on Shabbat. But we had such an amazing time together! DH really, really enjoyed the day, with all the time we had together doing something a little different; we made some great memories. I took several pictures, which we've had fun printing out in b&w and framing (see my avatar!). So, even though it wasn't perfect obedience of the written law for Shabbat (no commerce), it was obedience to the heart of the law, where I, as the wife, focused on making the day an enjoyable blessing for my family, especially my husband.
So here's where I'm kinda confused. If I should sacrifice strict obedience to the letter for the sake of my husband, should I also sacrifice strict adherence for the sake of others around me, like Jews? Recently, a Jewish woman joined our playgroup. She's pretty observant, and was raised being observant. I haven't had much opportunity to talk with her yet, but yesterday at the library during Story Hour, I overheard her talking with a friend about her Pesach seder. I didn't join into the conversation, b/c I didn't want to make a big deal about the fact I had celebrated a month ago, according to the Abib calendar. I feel in my heart that the Abib calendar is more true to the letter of Torah, but does that miss the intent of fellowship and loving those around me? Wouldn't it have been a really neat opportunity to share with this woman, if I was going by the rabbinical calendar instead? Maybe I should do both? (have my cake and eat it, too! :yum: ;) ) I really don't know. I can't fathom taking on so many of the rabbinic laws, like the meat and dairy issue. But I so want to be able to relate with Jews where they are, rather than taking the risk of appearing to have some kind of superiority complex, a "better than thou" attitude of any kind. It's not my desire to purposely do things wrong, but it's also not my desire to alienate everyone around me just for the sake of "doing it RIGHT." Yk? It's not my responsibility to FIX everyone around me. But it IS my responsibility to fellowship, support, witness, and not be a stumbling block.
Before this lady joined our group, I was so sure that I should do things so independently, the way I read them in Torah and who cares what everyone else thinks. But now, I feel a sense of responsibility in the way I handle their traditions, the extent to which I incorporate rabbinical laws. I don't think the rabbis today have the authority that they attribute to themselves, but since other people do, should I submit as one who is free? In order to fellowship and witness? With a heart of love and desire to gain their trust and respect?
At times like this, I start hoping that Yeshua will return soon, so we can all obey Torah the way it was meant to be obeyed! But then, I start to think of all the trials our world will face just before His coming, and I realize how much more preparation I have to do, especially in preparing my daughters for whatever may come. Oh, Father, help us through! Give us Your guidance, make clear your Will for us! Don't let my selfishness or any of the voices in my head get in the way of Your instructions for me! :bow:
Lately, I've felt myself losing focus on several things. I'm still reading my CJB nearly every day, and trying to honor Shabbat as much as I can. I'm still working on improving and cleansing our diets, with much progress being made--DH and I are both losing weight, even though neither of us was seriously overweight to begin with, and both the girls are eating veggies better. :thumbsup: But I'm finding that I'm backing off from some other things. I still intend to celebrate the mo'edim as best I can, but I don't feel all fired up about it like I have been the past several months. And I don't feel a burning desire to attend a Messianic congregation or even to socialize with as many Messianics as I can find. Instead, I've been focusing on DH. He's still lagging behind on the spiritual growth, so I'm trying to meet him where he is. It's like I've come down from my high horse to hold his hand and walk with him for a while. I'm looking for ways to make him happy, and some of that means giving up some of the things that have been so important to me over the past several months of my spiritual growth spurt. It's not that I'm turning my back on Torah, not that at all! But I'm focusing more on the aspect of loving my husband than on things like tzitzit or festivals or whatever. There are some things that I think are very important that I'm keeping up with, and those tend to be things that DH doesn't have a problem with anyway. So I feel very comfortable that God is showing me I can continue with those while turning my focus back onto DH.
So, all of that leads into some other questions. On the King David and Pesach thread, Shimshon discussed that perhaps David didn't celebrate Pesach b/c he was more focused on heart obedience, and he lived in a time when Pesach observance possibly would have been counterproductive. Is that basically your point? That detailed observance of the letter of the law was not as important as how David related to his people? To me, that's kind of similar to what I'm experiencing. It's not so important that I observe Shabbat perfectly, as it is that I use the opportunity to make Shabbat a blessing for those around me. For example, a few weeks ago, DH was actually home on Shabbat, rather than having to work overtime. Usually, I stay home with the girls on Shabbat, and we don't go anywhere but rather spend most of our free time playing together. But that week, I really wanted DH to experience the specialness of Shabbat, to have a day to remember, a day that catered to his interests. So we went on a fishing trip to a stocked pond. True, we did have to pay money to the owners of the pond, so that was commerce, which I normally try to avoid on Shabbat. But we had such an amazing time together! DH really, really enjoyed the day, with all the time we had together doing something a little different; we made some great memories. I took several pictures, which we've had fun printing out in b&w and framing (see my avatar!). So, even though it wasn't perfect obedience of the written law for Shabbat (no commerce), it was obedience to the heart of the law, where I, as the wife, focused on making the day an enjoyable blessing for my family, especially my husband.
So here's where I'm kinda confused. If I should sacrifice strict obedience to the letter for the sake of my husband, should I also sacrifice strict adherence for the sake of others around me, like Jews? Recently, a Jewish woman joined our playgroup. She's pretty observant, and was raised being observant. I haven't had much opportunity to talk with her yet, but yesterday at the library during Story Hour, I overheard her talking with a friend about her Pesach seder. I didn't join into the conversation, b/c I didn't want to make a big deal about the fact I had celebrated a month ago, according to the Abib calendar. I feel in my heart that the Abib calendar is more true to the letter of Torah, but does that miss the intent of fellowship and loving those around me? Wouldn't it have been a really neat opportunity to share with this woman, if I was going by the rabbinical calendar instead? Maybe I should do both? (have my cake and eat it, too! :yum: ;) ) I really don't know. I can't fathom taking on so many of the rabbinic laws, like the meat and dairy issue. But I so want to be able to relate with Jews where they are, rather than taking the risk of appearing to have some kind of superiority complex, a "better than thou" attitude of any kind. It's not my desire to purposely do things wrong, but it's also not my desire to alienate everyone around me just for the sake of "doing it RIGHT." Yk? It's not my responsibility to FIX everyone around me. But it IS my responsibility to fellowship, support, witness, and not be a stumbling block.
Before this lady joined our group, I was so sure that I should do things so independently, the way I read them in Torah and who cares what everyone else thinks. But now, I feel a sense of responsibility in the way I handle their traditions, the extent to which I incorporate rabbinical laws. I don't think the rabbis today have the authority that they attribute to themselves, but since other people do, should I submit as one who is free? In order to fellowship and witness? With a heart of love and desire to gain their trust and respect?
At times like this, I start hoping that Yeshua will return soon, so we can all obey Torah the way it was meant to be obeyed! But then, I start to think of all the trials our world will face just before His coming, and I realize how much more preparation I have to do, especially in preparing my daughters for whatever may come. Oh, Father, help us through! Give us Your guidance, make clear your Will for us! Don't let my selfishness or any of the voices in my head get in the way of Your instructions for me! :bow: