By Grace
4th May 2005, 08:53 AM
What have you learned from a child lately?
It suddenly occurred to me this morning that my children are teaching me how to love unconditionally. A few days ago, I was frustrated about trying to get out of the house to go somewhere, but having to stop and change diapers or messy clothes or put shoes on yet again or whatever, and my 2 yo asked me, "Are you okay?" I said yes, but that I was frustrated. She said, "Here, I give you hug!" :hug:
I get angry at my kids sometimes, even just for the fact that they're behaving like kids. I mess up. I yell, or throw an adult-sized tantrum, things I don't want them to do. I just get angry. Or sometimes they get angry at me for setting a limit on their behavior or requiring something of them that they don't want to do. And yet, two minutes later, they're loving and hugging and happy. For the longest time, I thought this was silly. How can she be so loving when she was so angry at me just a few minutes ago, or when I am doing such a poor job of parenting her? So, I tried to go with it, and just assumed that perhaps her short-term memory just let her forget her emotions of only two minutes ago, even though I know she has a better memory than that.
Well, this morning I was reading in a book about homeschooling and discipline how important it is to provide unconditional love, the kind that can administer consequences, but not withdraw love in the process. And it occurred to me: that's exactly what my 2 yo was doing! She might be angry at me, but she never stopped loving me. She didn't give me "the silent treatment" for hours afterwards. Even when I messed up, she didn't "punish" me emotionally. That doesn't mean she is this mature, experienced love-giver, but sometimes innocence and ignorance make it much easier to love someone. In the future, I hope to learn better how to love even through the hard times, and how to recover my emotional equilibrium more quickly, now that I've seen that even my 2 yo can do it!
It suddenly occurred to me this morning that my children are teaching me how to love unconditionally. A few days ago, I was frustrated about trying to get out of the house to go somewhere, but having to stop and change diapers or messy clothes or put shoes on yet again or whatever, and my 2 yo asked me, "Are you okay?" I said yes, but that I was frustrated. She said, "Here, I give you hug!" :hug:
I get angry at my kids sometimes, even just for the fact that they're behaving like kids. I mess up. I yell, or throw an adult-sized tantrum, things I don't want them to do. I just get angry. Or sometimes they get angry at me for setting a limit on their behavior or requiring something of them that they don't want to do. And yet, two minutes later, they're loving and hugging and happy. For the longest time, I thought this was silly. How can she be so loving when she was so angry at me just a few minutes ago, or when I am doing such a poor job of parenting her? So, I tried to go with it, and just assumed that perhaps her short-term memory just let her forget her emotions of only two minutes ago, even though I know she has a better memory than that.
Well, this morning I was reading in a book about homeschooling and discipline how important it is to provide unconditional love, the kind that can administer consequences, but not withdraw love in the process. And it occurred to me: that's exactly what my 2 yo was doing! She might be angry at me, but she never stopped loving me. She didn't give me "the silent treatment" for hours afterwards. Even when I messed up, she didn't "punish" me emotionally. That doesn't mean she is this mature, experienced love-giver, but sometimes innocence and ignorance make it much easier to love someone. In the future, I hope to learn better how to love even through the hard times, and how to recover my emotional equilibrium more quickly, now that I've seen that even my 2 yo can do it!