I HATE death.

[AlikhnKwizad]

I have lost trust. I have lost posessions. I have lost joy. I have lost respect. I have lost security. All the things I thought were 'safe' growing up turned out to be insecure, disapointing, unsafe, chaotic. I see the infection of sin in my own blood... in my ancestors... I hear the words of many enemies of HaShem in the air... my world has lost all of its Order... my perspective is limited, my sight is dim...

On the way to synagogue we saw an 18-wheeler on the highway, smoke comming from the cab- no other wrecked cars in sight. The fire truck was behind us, just getting to the scene. As we passed, we saw a car, completely crushed under the front wheel of the truck. There was nothing left of it. Nothing. Death, chaos... fire and sirens and nothing we can do. Somone's mother or father... someone's child. And we can't stop it, we cannot prevent the consequences of sin or the work of the evil one. Sometimes we just have to stand there and cry.

There is such sorrow in this world. And at times our Hope seems so far from us. And we have to trust that G-d is Good. And know He feels the loss and the sorrow of the world even more than we do.

All week my husband & I have had the Kaddish in our hearts... and I believe it is time to say Kaddish for our old life and our parents. They are not dead, but, in a way, they are. I see it in my parents' eyes. A hollowness where light is not allowed to penetrate- their own choice. And my in-laws who hold on to demons while trying to know G-d.

Year after year... how can anyone keep such ravenous demons? How much can we expose ourselves to the "death" in others before it starts to affect us? At some point we must 'let the dead bury the dead.'

So we are walking into the desert. And we are face to face with the unknown. We have no home, few possessions and only the light of HaShem to guide us- His Manna to sustain us. We feel vulnerable & scared. But we do not wish live inslaved to demons of the past. So we walk on...

[davidoffinland]

From finland.

I´ve been many times in the depths of despair and depression when my only hope and trust was in HaShem. As it turned out in the end, it was the testing of my trust/belief that "did I really ´believe´ in HaShem and the work that was accomplished in the Messiah. Even though I am a gentile believer in the G-d of Israel and His Messiah, it has strengthen me in the events of the day.



Shalom,
David.

[Sephania]

Dear Nilahk :hug:

Psalm 91

You who live in the shelter of 'Elyon, who spend your nights in the shadow of Shaddai, who say to ADONAI, "My refuge! My fortress! My G-d, in whom I trust!" he will rescue you from the trap of the hunter and from the plague of calamities; he will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his truth is a shield and protection. You will not fear the terrors of night or the arrow that flies by day, or the plague that roams in the dark, or the scourge that wreaks havoc at noon. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand; but it won't come near you. Only keep your eyes open, and you will see how the wicked are punished.
For you have made ADONAI, the Most High, who is my refuge, your dwelling-place. No disaster will happen to you, no calamity will come near your tent; for he will order his angels to care for you and guard you wherever you go. They will carry you in their hands, so that you won't trip on a stone. You will tread down lions and snakes, young lions and serpents you will trample underfoot. "Because he loves me, I will rescue him; because he knows my name, I will protect him. He will call on me, and I will answer him. I will be with him when he is in trouble. I will extricate him and bring him honor. I will satisfy him with long life and show him my salvation."






Amein!:bow:

[Ahavah]

I have lost trust. I have lost posessions. I have lost joy. I have lost respect. I have lost security. All the things I thought were 'safe' growing up turned out to be insecure, disapointing, unsafe, chaotic. I see the infection of sin in my own blood... in my ancestors... I hear the words of many enemies of HaShem in the air... my world has lost all of its Order... my perspective is limited, my sight is dim...

On the way to synagogue we saw an 18-wheeler on the highway, smoke comming from the cab- no other wrecked cars in sight. The fire truck was behind us, just getting to the scene. As we passed, we saw a car, completely crushed under the front wheel of the truck. There was nothing left of it. Nothing. Death, chaos... fire and sirens and nothing we can do. Somone's mother or father... someone's child. And we can't stop it, we cannot prevent the consequences of sin or the work of the evil one. Sometimes we just have to stand there and cry.

There is such sorrow in this world. And at times our Hope seems so far from us. And we have to trust that G-d is Good. And know He feels the loss and the sorrow of the world even more than we do.

All week my husband & I have had the Kaddish in our hearts... and I believe it is time to say Kaddish for our old life and our parents. They are not dead, but, in a way, they are. I see it in my parents' eyes. A hollowness where light is not allowed to penetrate- their own choice. And my in-laws who hold on to demons while trying to know G-d.

Year after year... how can anyone keep such ravenous demons? How much can we expose ourselves to the "death" in others before it starts to affect us? At some point we must 'let the dead bury the dead.'

So we are walking into the desert. And we are face to face with the unknown. We have no home, few possessions and only the light of HaShem to guide us- His Manna to sustain us. We feel vulnerable & scared. But we do not wish live inslaved to demons of the past. So we walk on...Are you sure we aren't related somehow?
Are you my long lost sister?
I totally know how you feel. Your not alone.
I look at my parents, relatives..ect.... and see the same lost death you are talking about. I want to see my parents as I did when I was a little girl. I had such a different perspective then.
G-d has given me mature eyes, and the perspective is "truth" and the reality of life is not a bed of roses.

My Only hope in this "world" is knowing that the old will die and pass away, and the NEW will spring up when Yeshua rules the Land. But... until that happens...we need to constantly focus on Yeshua and walk in LOVE at all times.

[AlikhnKwizad]

Ahavah- More like a bed of thorns & thistles!

"My Only hope in this "world" is knowing that the old will die and pass away, and the NEW will spring up when Yeshua rules the Land."[I]

Yes, I hang on to that- it will be a wonderful day!

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one to experience this- but it's also very sad... so many broken people out there, having children... not dealing with their wounds... then passing them down for their children to strugle with. When you grow up, you can see your parents' disfunction, wounds, spiritual depravity, much clearer. It is disappointing to say the least. I love them, but I just can't be around them!

Thanks Zayit & david! What you've both said is so true.

[Tishri1]

I've had been watching Mom and now Dad shrinking away for 18 years even though they were christians but these demons were at home in them long before they accepted Jesus(Yeshua to me) I found them in me too a few years after I had been saved but ABBA gave me his Torah and I saw the need to "Clean House" (Keeping a clean house is so much easier thanks to my knowlege of Hebraic things by the way:clap:) It wasn't untill disease was taking Her life, and Sin was taking His; that they were ready to be free, and my prayers were answered.

I wish I could say that I prayed more for them now that I see them being set free...maybe I just couldn't believe it would really happen. Thank ABBA He made it happen for all of us!

(see my reply to your other post on demons for a great book that set me and them free)

[AlikhnKwizad]

Wow-

Yeah, I've watched them slowly get worse. My mother has become an emotionally detached, work-a-holic, existentialist. I say "has become"- really, like you said, they were there before, but because they were not delt with correctly, they turned into giants & have taken over. My dad is overcome with depression, and a spirit of poverty.

My husband and I are working on 'cleaning house' as we speak.

[Tishri1]

Nilah, I'm sooo glad!

I must say I have been even more dillegent in my life now too since I have witnessed the miracle that they are being set free, alittle leaven of unbelief had me being lazy about my own heart issues.

I know we are all born into this life with "family baggage" and then thru circumstances in own upbringing we pack those bags full of our own stuff too. But when the bags bust open ,we are often left with a mess too big to clean up on our own.

Some people just shove it in a closet out of embarrassment and pride(or maybe that's what they were taught to do ) , and some seek the Father's help and repent and ask forgiveness and are set free of the load/burden.

I believe that diseases come when our bags burst open and we don't deal with it. I think we are knowingly in rebellion to G-D when we refuse to go to Him for help for these sins.

But I have also seen people healed (me too) when they do humble themselves and pray and walk out the rest of their lives in simple repentance and forgivensess for themselves and others:clap:

[jontinoregon]

But I have also seen people healed (me too) when they do humble themselves and pray and walk out the rest of their lives in simple repentance and forgivensess for themselves and others:clap:

:amen: Yeshua came that we might have life and have it abundantly, it is a gift of life, but if we dont follow the instructions that came with the gift, it doesn't do us the good it can do for each of us if we will follow them.

[Tishri1]

That's what happens when my kids throw away the directions to their toys especially the ones with all the decals, the toy doesn't work as well or look as nice as it was made too.:sigh:

[Shamash Of Yeshua]

I wish I could say that I prayed more for them now that I see them being set free...maybe I just couldn't believe it would really happen. Thank ABBA He made it happen for all of us!



Makes me think of Yonah.


The word of the LORD came to Yonah the second time, saying, "Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach to it the message that I give you." So Yonah arose, and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the LORD. Now Nineveh was an exceedingly great city, three days' journey across. Yonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried out, and said, "Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!" The people of Nineveh believed God; and they proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them. The news reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, and took off his royal robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. He made a proclamation and published through Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, "Let neither man nor animal, herd nor flock, taste anything; let them not feed, nor drink water; but let them be covered with sackcloth, both man and animal, and let them cry mightily to God. Yes, let them turn everyone from his evil way, and from the violence that is in his hands. Who knows whether God will not turn and relent, and turn away from his fierce anger, so that we might not perish?" God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way. God relented of the disaster which he said he would do to them, and he didn't do it. But it displeased Yonah exceedingly, and he was angry. He prayed to the LORD, and said, "Please, LORD, wasn't this what I said when I was still in my own country? Therefore I hurried to flee to Tarshish, for I knew that you are a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness, and you relent of doing harm. Therefore now, LORD, take, I beg you, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live." The LORD said, "Is it right for you to be angry?" Then Yonah went out of the city, and sat on the east side of the city, and there made himself a booth, and sat under it in the shade, until he might see what would become of the city. The LORD God prepared a vine, and made it to come up over Yonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to deliver him from his discomfort. So Yonah was exceedingly glad because of the vine. But God prepared a worm at dawn the next day, and it chewed on the vine, so that it withered. It happened, when the sun arose, that God prepared a sultry east wind; and the sun beat on Yonah's head, so that he fainted, and requested for himself that he might die, and said, "It is better for me to die than to live." God said to Yonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the vine?" He said, "I am right to be angry, even to death." The LORD said, "You have been concerned for the vine, for which you have not labored, neither made it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night. Shouldn't I be concerned for Nineveh, that great city, in which are more than one hundred twenty thousand persons who can't discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much livestock?" (Jon 3:1-4:11 HNV)



Of course this is all after Yonah decided not to go to Nineveh and Our Father got him there anyhow. How long has man been trying to avoid doing what they volunteered for in the first place. Man chose to Live and therefore he shall live in Truth whether he wants to now or when the end comes when all will see the Truth revealed by the True Light.

Shalom,

Tag

[By Grace]

Hi, Girlfriend--I know you're scared. You've got lots of friends and prayer partners here, though! Give that little 8 yo a hug for me ;)

[AlikhnKwizad]

:)