WARNING - Satire

[Protoevangel]

Disclaimer: No individual who is a member of the ELCA is being targeted by this satire, I am ELCA myself. So, take it easy now, if you take this too seriously, you will be taken out back and flogged!


This just off the AP wire...

ELCA authorizes set aside subsidies from the general mercy ministry fund to extend support to disadvantaged groups such as:

...Evangelical Drug Dealers
...Pedaphiles for Christ
...The Full Gospel Necrophiliacs Club
...Protestant Pornographers in Pink Panties
...Lutheran Socialists for the Redistribution of Private Property
...Prostitutes for Partial Preterism
...The Reorganized Confederate Slave-Traders
...The Gay & Lesbian Babysitter's Association
...Born-again Burglars Targeting the Upper-middle Class

The editor cites ELCA's conditions for acceptance are:
- The Bible is poetry
- Logic Isn't
- Creeds need to evolve

In conclusion, ELCA is offering free bumper stickers to promote their 2005 solidarity message which reads:
"Nuke the unborn, gay, feminist, whales with handguns."




This satire inspired by recent ELCA news: ELCA Council Drafts, Forwards Three Resolutions on Homosexuality (http://www.elca.org/Scriptlib/CO/ELCA_News/encArticleList.asp?a=3043&p=1) (but it's STILL just a joke, OK?)

Edit: A close friend sent this to me, I thought it was so funny that I MUST share it with y'all. You didn't think I had the capacity to be this funny, did you?

[RedneckAnglican]

pretty funny...not sure about this group though...don't want to give any money to someone who's full gospel...The Full Gospel Necrophiliacs Club...

[KagomeShuko]

I thought we already addressed pink panties in another thread. . .LOL. . .something like no pastor in pink thongs?

Stein Auf!
Bridget

[RedneckAnglican]

I thought we already addressed pink panties in another thread. . .LOL. . .something like no pastor in pink thongs?

Stein Auf!
Bridget

THAT'S an image I didn't need this early in the morning...or ever for that matter...

[KagomeShuko]

THAT'S an image I didn't need this early in the morning...or ever for that matter...
I think that's exactly what was said the LAST tme somebody mentioned that. . and it was NOT me. . .

Stein Auf!
Bridget

[Protoevangel]

I thought we already addressed pink panties in another thread. . .LOL. . .something like no pastor in pink thongs?

Stein Auf!
Bridget
You are just too orthodox and ridgid, Bridget! You have to grow and evolve with the times! The rules for no pink panties are culturally based on ancient biases, we are so five minutes past that now!

[KagomeShuko]

You are just too orthodox and ridgid, Bridget! You have to grow and evolve with the times! The rules for no pink panties are culturally based on ancient biases, we are so five minutes past that now!
Oh, Dan, I guess I'll just never be cool or with the times! LOL Such is life!

Stein Auf!
Bridget

[Protoevangel]

Oh, Dan, I guess I'll just never be cool or with the times! LOL Such is life!

Stein Auf!
Bridget:D :hug:

[Rechtgläubig]

If I were ELCA I would type a bolded LOL and one of these --> ^_^


Since I am not, and I don't wish to offend, I will just stick with this --->:)



:D

[Music4Hym777]

LMHO!!! That is hilarious! I guess I dont keep up with the times and I didn't need to picture my pastor in a pink thong. My fiance's father would be better than my pastor here, but still, I dont want to think about it

[pastel]

Lutherans have a sense of humor...how can you question us??? :P

I think!! :scratch:

[pastel]

For all you golfers out there:


Tee'd off

A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer
approached and asked if he could join him.

The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first couple of holes.

The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five
bucks a hole?"

The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the
terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his $80, the
second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked
to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro got all flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you.
You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to mass on Sunday and make a
donation.

And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."