New church, many thoughts, want input.

[Cjwinnit]

This might be long and will be split into a couple of posts, but hey, it's one of my first threads ;)

Quick background: Anglican, confirmed years ago, lapsed a little a few years ago. Never habitually been to a parish church in a decade, though had chapel at school. Parents lapsed.

I've recently started going to a church very near to where I live. It's fairly broad, multicultural, but has some interesting quirks. Out of 100+ people, there are only 3 or 4 men aged 18-30 and I'm the only single one.

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Part 1: Level of Involvement (following).

Part 2: "There's This Girl" (later on).

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PART 1:

I started going fairly recently (couple of months) and have been talking to a few of the people, they seem fairly nice. Recently I have suspected that I've been noticed. First off, one of the older women who runs the sunday school asked me to help out with it. (sunday school happens during the sermon, the creed and the intercessionary prayers, takes about 15 minutes). It's split into three: young ones about toddler - 11 (I helped out before, loved it), the 11 - 13, then confirmation year.

Today I was helping out the guy who did the 11 - 13 group, which was a bit more involved of course. Thing is, normally it's just the one person running this group (they take stints of a month at a time) and they would like me to do a month stint in a few weeks. Apart from the fact that i'm not exactly a saint, I don't really know if I'm catechised enough to handle this year group (I'd prefer the younger ones but to do that would involve moving sunday school teachers around to other groups) and not fall into unorthodoxy without realizing.

I figure they want a guy who is not a generation ahead of them so they have a new perspective, but still.....

Then today one of the elders asked me to be a server sometime. Isn't that only a few steps from the priesthood??

Please feel free to comment on this, Part 2 coming up much later.

[trooper]

HI! Well, first I would just comment that among church folks, one of the best ways to make someone come back to church REGULARLY is to invite them to participate, in some way, in the running of the parish. To make them to be part of the family and to be responsible to their fellow family members. So, I would guess that they are trying to invite you to be part of more than just normal Sunday service (a good thing).

If you are uncomfortable with the Sunday School or server choice ask around and see if there are any other options that would make you feel more comfortable as you ease your way back into attendance.

As to the quirk in demographics, when I was in church as a young person (under 30 or so) I was also one of the few. Don't know why we can't get more single and young people in, but it does seem to be a pattern. I think that these days folks figure that they will wait til after they have kids to consider the "God" thing. Good for you to be ahead of the game.

Can't wait to hear about the girl.

[gtsecc]

I love my parish and I do everything I can to help them in many different ways.

Pray for guidance on how to serve, then let God handle the rest.

You can't plan to serve and then become a priest, or plan not to serve to avoid that. You just serve without regard to the consequences or gain it might afford you.

[thejesusfish90]

I think its awesome your church is wanting you to help out... we normally have year 10-11 kids onwards helping out with either sunday school, youth group or CEBS/GFS, and I've found it a really good way to be helping other kids out in their faith... But I think that If your honestly not compfrtable with the responsibilities then be up front with the leadership teams regarding your concerns... they may be able to offer you advice, help you out or ease of your load if you and they both think it may be a bit too soon... But I would give it a go... It is really encouraging seeing kids hear about the bible and then sometimes (not always) seeing it click in their minds and understanding crucial biblical concepts.... I agree with Gitlance, be prayerful about it aswell, ask god for guidance...

Hope This Helps

Your Brother in Christ

Chris

[Father Rick]

Then today one of the elders asked me to be a server sometime. Isn't that only a few steps from the priesthood??
A server is the adult equivalent of an altar boy.

Nowhere near the priesthood... although many who later felt called to the priesthood did function as a server at some point.

[Cjwinnit]

A server is the adult equivalent of an altar boy.

Nowhere near the priesthood... although many who later felt called to the priesthood did function as a server at some point.

Fair enough. I am a little concerned as making a mistake might constitute desecrating the Eucharist, which I always viewed as almost a "go directly to Hell, do not pass go, do not collect £200" sin. I'll be watching more rather than praying as much this week..

but I have other problems too!!

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Part 2.

I was walking home from church a few months ago and noticed two people (we will call R and D) behind me. I got to the door, R initiated a conversation before I opened it, and we were introduced. It turns out that D lives a few doors down on the same street. Both are choir members and have known each other for half a year. R is 17, funny, smart, has a great voice (I'm a baritone/tenor but i'm not in the choir, she's a soprano) and I think I like her.

There could be a few glitches though. First off, she's "not religious". The reason she goes to church is: 1/ her grandmother, who she lives with drags her along 2/ she enjoys the choir. Second, she's a little bit lassaiz-faire about relationships (she's had 6 partners). My guess is if she wants to go out she might want more out of the relationship and quicker. It's also complicated by the fact that we both go to the same church and I know I've been noticed, so I'm being watched, although her grandmother likes me and wants us to go out but I don't know if she knows what her grandaughter gets up to..

The annoying thing is I'm getting what I think are mixed messages. When R and I (I as in me) were walking around town a month ago she mentioned her gran wants us to go out then semi-dismissed her gran's idea, which could be a bad sign. She also mentions she fancies a bunch of guys. I'm not sure if that's a challenge (like a girly "oh look i like some guys you had better make your mind up") or a message not to try anything.

On the other hand, after the morning palm sunday service we spent most of sunday between 11am and 5pm together. Walked around town, then went back to church mid-afternoon and messed about there talking in the hall, basically alone, for an hour (the choir had a performance at 6pm). We had a ball, at least she laughs at my jokes. She was also quite flirty, but maybe she does that with everyone when they are alone..

I have an "interesting" quirk in that I tend to mess up my friendships with women by either being a total idiot (one of my many major flaws is that talking too much is my defence mechanism) and saying something totally inappropriate or by acting as a kind, nerdy older-brother type (I have 4 sisters, all younger, dad left, no other guy in the house, just me) rather than prospective boyfriend material (and, having been to a boy's school, I have no idea how to act around non-related women). I'm kinda worried about how I act as well. A few of my sisters, female friends and my mum think i'm gay (I'm not) 'cos of the way I act (brotherly around women, english-public-schoolboy chummy around guys) and the fact they have never seen a girlfriend of mine. If R thinks that then basically that's the end of any hope of anything more than a friendship....