You know you're in a Methodist Church...

[blitz576]

...when every man over the age of 40 is lip synching the hymns.

Please continue. :)

[Celticflower]

...when every man over the age of 40 is lip synching the hymns.

Please continue. :)

:sigh:

[seeking.IAM]

You know you're in a Methodist Church...when the smell of green bean casserole eminates from the fellowship hall.

seeking.IAM
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[sinner/SAVED]

...when every man over the age of 40 is lip synching the hymns.

Please continue. :)

We don't lip synch. That would require actually reading the words. Most of us just move our lips to a-b-c-d-a-b-c-d....etc. All the while daydreaming about fishing or mowing the lawn or the cutie in the second row of the choir.;)

[Celticflower]

We don't lip synch. That would require actually reading the words. Most of us just move our lips to a-b-c-d-a-b-c-d....etc. All the while daydreaming about fishing or mowing the lawn or the cutie in the second row of the choir.;)


And what church is this in??? Every Methodist church I have attended had a multitude of singers--young and old, good and bad. Some who know they truly cannot sing speak the words in rhythm (think Richard Burton in Camelot).
This thread's premise is stupid and insulting.

[blitz576]

And what church is this in??? Every Methodist church I have attended had a multitude of singers--young and old, good and bad. Some who know they truly cannot sing speak the words in rhythm (think Richard Burton in Camelot).
This thread's premise is stupid and insulting.

I'm sorry you feel that way. :sigh:
I am happy however that you took it upon yourself to corrupt, what could have been some good, clean fun, with your negativity and high horse indignation.

[sinner/SAVED]

Some folks just don't understand that Christians can have a sense of humor.

[Celticflower]

I have nothing against a sense of humor, but why does it have to be done in a negative or insulting way?

Have your "fun", but don't let me hear any of you belly-aching when someone on another board says something negative or insulting about Methodists.

[jess anderson]

You know you're in a Methodist Church... when the sign outside says "Methodist Church".

[WiredSpirit]

YOU MIGHT BE A UNITED METHODIST IF........

1. You don't take Rolaids when your heart is strangely warmed.
2. You know that a circuit rider is not an electrical device.
3. "The Upper Room" is as essential to your bathroom as the toilet paper.
4. You've ever owned a pair of cross and flame boxer shorts.
5. You sit while singing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus";
6. You've ever sung a gender-inclusive hymn.
7. Tithing is encouraged but widely ignored.
8. Half the people sitting in your pew lip-synch the words to the hymns.
9. The word apportionment sends a chill down your spine.
10. You realize pluralism isn't a communicable disease.
11. Names like Aldersgate, Asbury and Epworth are familiar.
12. You consider the monthly potluck a sacrament.
13. The only church camp song you know by heart is "Kum ba yah"
14. You've ever attended an Annual Conference and actually enjoyed it.
15. You have an unexplained yearning to visit Wesley's chapel in London.
16. Your church is named for a geographical location rather than for a saint.
17. You've never heard a sermon on Hell and don't feel you're missing out.
18. You realize that VBS isn't a sexually transmitted disease.
19. Pastor moves every four or five years and you like it that way.
20. Your pastor responds to you with, "I hear what you are saying...."
21. There's at least one person in every church meeting who says, "But we've never done it that way before"
22. Your congregation's Christmas pageant include both boy and girl wise men.
23. You accept the fact that the hymn, "O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing" has almost as many stanzas as tongues.
24. You know that the Wesleyan Quadrilateral isn't a trick football play involving four lateral passes.
25. You realize that the "Book of Discipline" is not a guide to getting your child to behave.
26. You understand that an "appointment" has nothing to do with keeping a lunch date.
27. You know "UMW" stands for United Methodist Women rather than the United Mine Workers.
29. You know the difference between a "diagonal" minister and a "diaconal"minister.
30."Good morning" has the status of a liturgical greeting in the worship service.
31. You feel a twinge of guilt when you sing "Onward Christian Soldiers" with gusto.
32. You say "trespasses" instead of "debts" in the Lord's Prayer and have no idea why.
33. Your annual conference spends most of its time debating resolutions that nobody reads.
34. You'd rather be branded with a hot iron than serve on the Nominating Committee (or SPRC, Trustees, Finance, etc.)
36. You've ever sipped Welch's grape juice out of a plastic shot glass during Communion.
37. The members of the Friendship class are always fighting among themselves.
38. You realize that sprinkling, pouring and immersing are not ways of seasoning food.
39. You're asked to donate money to a "special offering" every other Sunday.
40. You pour over the Conference Journal with the same intensity you would read a John Grisham novel.
41. You have to fight through a cadre of "designated greeters" to get into the sanctuary.
42. When the worship service lasts for more than one hour the beeping of watch alarms drowns out the final hymn.

[ClementofRome]

You know you are in a Methodist Church when the length of time "passing the peace" is only equaled by the sermon! :)

[desert_island_1]

haha! I know Methodist and Nazarene are alot alike but almost all of these apply to Naz aswell...

I would like to add one for the Nazarene Church

You know you go to Nazarene chruch when you church has a Fireside Room (and yet, it probably doesn't have a fireplace, and if it does it is never used)

[WiredSpirit]

My old church had gas fireplaces in it.

[sinner/SAVED]

WiredSpirit is definitely Methodist!

[Mashley]

Nazarenes are known for their potlucks. At least, that's what I've heard.

[WiredSpirit]

Never actually had a potluck, we usually get pizza, fried chicken, subs or something on Wednesday nights when we have classes. We don't trust each other enough to eat each others cooking.

[sinner/SAVED]

Never actually had a potluck, we usually get pizza, fried chicken, subs or something on Wednesday nights when we have classes. We don't trust each other enough to eat each others cooking.

You need to visit some of your Southern country cousins. We call them covered-dish dinners. At a normal covered-dish dinner you go home feeling like you ate the whole Thanksgiving turkey and a couple of pies for dessert. I'd rather go to a covered-dish than to the best restaurant anywhere. Everyone brings only their very best dish and some of these folks can COOK!

[Cjwinnit]

All the while daydreaming about .. the cutie in the second row of the choir.;)

It ain't just Methodists..

[jangnim]

You need to visit some of your Southern country cousins. We call them covered-dish dinners. At a normal covered-dish dinner you go home feeling like you ate the whole Thanksgiving turkey and a couple of pies for dessert. I'd rather go to a covered-dish than to the best restaurant anywhere. Everyone brings only their very best dish and some of these folks can COOK!

I can attest to that. Boy are those meals great. I became a Methodist and weighed in at 145, but when I moved back home I was a healthy 195. Those Methodists sure know how to eat.

And given the recent news on Wendy's I think I would rather eat Pot-Luck any day rather than ever eat out again. Gross!:sick:

You know you are in a Methodist church when they pass a sign-up sheet for ministries. At least that is how our church is.:)

[sweettooth33]

HAHAHAHA that is insanely accurate in many places.... I feel so proud :)

[spokenforbyHim]

ahhh yea! We definitely know how to eat! yesssss, I love our covered dish dinners. lol I've agreed with like all the comments except for the lip synching thing. My church is pretty good with singing. lol....I'm a proud Methodist though!