Come to Lick my Wounds....

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I'm not sure whether it is to lick my wounds or to get a good slap from one of you guys here and a telling off to pull myself together, but apologies for the rant. :)

For about a month now this has been eating me up but I don't understand why?

I was convicted in December to return to church and to give a tenth of all I own and earn. Since returning to the UK I hadn't been going to church so I thought that the best place to return would be my member church. My member church is a Baptist church close to where I lived. The membership is small and old, but to my surprise they had a new pastor - a female one. On meeting her, I was warmly greeted and invited round for lunch (New Years Day). I had mentioned about how I use to be a member but that I was now returning after being away. I'd also confessed about how I had stopped attending because the church wasn't doing anything for me - it seemed dead. She eagerly empathised and said how she'd changed a lot of things and I'd see a difference.

To cut a long story short, I have since been told that my membership has been deleted. I am no longer a member. There was also a church meeting where one of the items was to receive me back into membership. Since this meeting no one has discussed with me whether or not I am going to be received into membership. I have received a lot of averted gazes but no answers. Each time I go on a Sunday, the pastor does a quick 'hi' 'bye' but would take ages to talk to everyone else. One week she even introduced me to someone visiting as "this is LP, she USE to be a member at this church".

Pride is eating at me here which is where in a sick way this is kind of amusing to me. I can't go to a Messianic church/synagogue as the thriving ones are based in London and Leicester which is no where near where I live. I'm not settled in this church still - the atmosphere is still the same and there's been some interpretations of scripture which were off base. There was one Bible study which portrayed Issac as arrogrant as Ishmail as a victim of child abuse!!!

And yet I resent the fact that they are taking a tenth of my money but I'm not good enough for them to explain whether or not I am going to be a member. My cousin has suggested that I take my tenth and donate it monthly to a charity but I don't feel I can do that. I've prayed about the way I feel as I don't think it's right I should feel the way I do. I know that a lot of what I'm feeling is a degree of snobbery and the fact that they'll take my money but thats it! My thoughts are "forget these guys, I'm getting nothing from them spiritually" but I know these thoughts are fuelled by the fact that no one is letting me know what is going on.

Had to rant but is what I'm feeling right?

[yod]

There was one Bible study which portrayed Issac as arrogrant as Ishmail as a victim of child abuse!!!

And yet I resent the fact that they are taking a tenth of my money but I'm not good enough for them to explain whether or not I am going to be a member.


you are supporting idiocy and error with your heart's treasure.

Do you think that is right?

Leave your money in an interest bearing account until you figure out who is doing the Kingdom's work.

[plum]

hmm... how about giving the money to a homeless shelter? using it to buy small gifts for a needy family in your neighborhood?

just a thought...

and here's another... do we give with expectation of getting?
is that what our free-will offerings and tithes are for? for our own reward?


I am sorry for your feeling of being left out, of being left behind even... i hope God can show you where you ought to be in this season of life.

[visionary]

If you may be so bold, I would suggest going to the pastor and asking as to what your standing is, and what relationship are you to have with this congregation. Letting yourself being emotionally help hostage when it is totally unneccessary and it is not right. You do not need to put up with this mental abuse.

I would take your offerings to the Lord and pray that the Lord provides places that He would be honored to have them sent to.

May the Lord bless you with meeting a fellow believer that you can home church with. May you be blessed with a new life with fellow believers that are excited to explore all the good things that the Lord provides.

[Bruce101]

Pardon me for being so blunt. It sounds to me that you are there, and supporting with with your hard earned cash out of habit. You are there because it is where you grew up, and it is where you feel somme comfort, (familiarity) despite the fact that you feel ostracized. When you speak of tithes, it sounds to me that you are chaining yourself to a tradition. My "tithes" ( I don't pay a set amount) goes to God's work. It may be my church, or paying somebody's bills, or buying food. I spread it around. I would not go anywhere that I did not feel welcome, period.
BTW, in my opinion, membership means nothing. I am already a member God'd Church (His body) and that is all that matters.
I hope my bluntness was not offending, it was not meant to be.
Bruce

[talmidim]

Shalom Lotuspetal_uk,

I have a hard word for you.

You talk of your conviction. Is it really? If so, do what He has instructed.
You talk of your tithes and offerings. They are not yours. They are His.
You talk of your membership as if it had value. It does not. You are His, not theirs.

As to the rest, get on your knees and ask Him.
Perhaps there is something that He know you need to learn from them.
Perhaps there is something that they need to learn from you.

Do not compromise His instruction to you.
Declare His word.
Pray about your feelings.
Witness to Him what you see.
He will give you shalom.
He will tell you what to do.
Of this, I am sure.

b'Shalom
talmidim

[Tishri1]

Hi Lotuspetal,
I sympathise with your situation. We all need fellowship and community. It is a shame that you do not have a group of Messianic Believers close to you.:(

As far as your Tithe goes. I believe it is more of an offering, as all the Tithes went to Isreal to the Temple; and if I am not mistaken the Church isn't representative of the Temple but more like maybe...a Synagogue. An offering to the Church is very thoughtful of you, but if you can see your $$ benefiting another need...why not?

You have a need for fellowship and as you give to the Lord to meet someone else's need, trust Him also to meet your true need of a messianic group to spend time with.

Seems to me that the joy in giving to your former church is gone and joy in giving is very important, it produces faith, hope, compassion, more joy ect. I wouldn't give my $$ or attend a place that left me feeling like dirt, unless I had clear direction from the Father to do it. I can't see Him putting you through that! Don't settle! If fellowship is that important and it should be, volunteer at a hospital, better yet at a retirement home. Maybe start a Messianic Study and let others know that you have knowledge about Hebrew Roots. I did that in my neighborhood and have 8 women coming over once a week.

I would go on a hunt for fellowship! I know that our congregetion is very small and is hard to find in our Town. There may be one forming as you read this... keep on looking. Don't let yourself be abused by your old church if that is what they are doing:sigh:

I will pray for you, Tishri1

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Shalom, all my brothers and sisters,

I greatly appreciate what everyone's said here and I have re-read what each of you have posted. I've needed your thoughts on this and rest assured have not been offended :) Sunday and yesterday this issue was really eating at me and I thank you for your prayers as I have woken up this morning with a new peace.

I have been praying about this and looking into myself in terms of how I am feeling. Being the youngest in the family I know that I am prone to a little attention seeking. Right now I am certain that I must definately give away what isn't mine but the Lord's. As I don't feel at home with this church, I am going to speak with the minister but not with the spoilt brat whine of why I am not a member. I don't feel that the Lord wants to keep me there for long, but instead G-d willing He will bring others to me who are on the same path as me.

If you guys can continue to pray for me, that the Lord will keep me in check till His will be done, that would be great. :hug:

G-d bless and shalom

[plum]

:hug: shalom to you as well, sister. may you be filled with humility and peace as HaShem leads you where you ought to be!

[Sephania]

Shalom lotuspetal, good to see you again! This site may help you in this deleima http://www.kingshouse.org/tithing.htm (http://www.kingshouse.org/tithing.htm)

Just ignore his interpretaion about the sunday church service collection Paul instructed. ;)

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Shalom Missju and Zayit,

Thank you for your prayers and kind words

Zayit, I've read your link - wow! still so much to learn but THANK YOU! I found the following really helpful,


- We should not give anythingto false, heretical, phony, disobedient, wordily, greedy, proud, in debt preacher/pastors, million dollar TV evangelists, plastic preachers, baby talk Bible teachers and the like.

and

It was given year by year, and every three years

As well as many many other things!

I praise G-d for seeing this today because it has strengthened my resolve in terms of handling this as well as teaching me more about my walk. I had begun to forget WHY I had given what I did - concentrating more on WHERE it had gone.

I'd thought about how the Bible Study meetings had went where I had asked about the leader's interpretation of scripture but my questions had been brushed aside because it didn't support the meeting's topic. It had also struck me that a person had approached me at this church saying how they were glad to receive my money. I wasn't comfortable with what he'd said at the time but left it alone. After reading the article, the thought came back, "How did he know I had given anything!!! No one was suppose to know!"

So, thank you sister - the read was worth me getting late for work :D (Just kidding, at least only by a couple of minutes if I don't proof read this post)

G-d bless you! :hug:

LP

[Sephania]

Lotus, I am glad that it has helped you so much dear sister, I pray that your heart will feel more settled now. I praise G-d that he lead you to come here to get another perspective away from those trying to harm you.

Please don't be a stranger! ;)

[Lotuspetal_uk]

:) I won't, Sis. My only down fall is my job but in approx 3 weeks we'll be off school again so I can be on here more often & for longer.

Shalom & G-d bless

LP