Dealing with easter ...

[MyLittleWonders]

So, my husband and I know that we will no longer be celebrating easter (or christmas or halloween). We know that those days are not of HaShem nor do they honor Him. But, our family still observes them and more than likely will continue to do so. (The ironic part is that our families are non-believers. Those days are simply tradition to them. :sigh: ) My husband and I are very confused about what to do in terms of honoring our families and spending time with them without compromising our beliefs. Do any of you have a similar situation - your family keeps traditions of men that you believe are against God's wishes, yet you find it hard to divorce yourself from your family gatherings because you want to be with your family/honor them with your presence? I know beyond all else, we need to continue to pray and read the word, but we are also hoping for some been there/done that help. Are we called to completely cut ourselves off from the ways of men (traditions such as easter) and not partake at all, even if that means not seeing family members that only gather for these days? Do we teach our children what God asks of us but still go spend time but not partake in the "activities" (easter egg hunts, etc)? Help please!

[visionary]

Throw a family reunion...plan a special family gathering that you can organize and do things that show just how special the family means to you....Once it becomes a family tradition...they will look forward to family time with you and yours...they may not understand your not participating in questionable holiday festivies, but they will be accepting because they can point to the family reunion that you organize every year for the family.

[jgonz]

That's a good idea (being in charge of a family reunion/get together). We moved 2000 miles away from family and don't have to deal with it. ;)

No, it's actually more involved than that~ but it's still fun to say. :D DH and I have talked about this a lot over the years and we decided that it Is better that we live far away from my side of the family because they would totally freak. His side of the family though, knows that we celebrate the Feasts and Sabbath and they just sort of ignore it. MIL still calls on every single "Christian" holiday to wish us a happy whatever, and DH just says thank you and then changes the subject and asks her how she is, etc.

If we did end up moving closer to my family, I'm sure we'd be invited (read, "expected") to be there for all holidays and birthdays. I don't know how I'd actually handle it, so I'm looking forward to others' answers to this question.

[Blueskies]

I had struggles with my mother over this issue. How I was depriving my children of fun and robbing them of the joys of childhood, especially over Easter and Christmas, but even Halloween (which I have not celebrated since the girls were very young!!) became an issue. We just gently but firmly held our ground. We get together for 4th of July, and Thanksgiving, invite them for Rosh Hashannah (which they never attend) and just say thanks but no thanks to the rest.

Unfortunately, your family is probably going to think you've lost it and that's probably unavoidable. Eventually, it will become commonplace and everyone will accept it.

Year before last, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and asked me to be home for holidays. No one gave me gifts, no asked them from me. I was even allowed to set up my menorah (yes, I carried it 2,000 miles home) and celebrate hannakuh in their presence one evening, which was enjoyable. Eventually, everyone will adjust and if you are firm, be respectful of your wishes eventually.

[beej7]

All of the above are such excellent answers! My parents made a big issue as well when my children were small and I told them ABSOLUTELY no candy, no baskets, nada zilch nothing. So what came in the mail? A bunch of Easter type Posters with bunny rabbits and the whole 9 yards. 'This won't hurt them!!' she pleaded with me. Moving 2000 miles away seems drastic, but boy, if I lived closer in those days, life would be almost unbearable.

Another little story---I told my children (who are now 25 and 24) that there wasn't a Santa Claus...that he was made up, etc etc. We were out over the season, and there was a store santa, and my daughter, who was about 2 1/2 at the time, looked up at me, and said, 'Oh Mommy! There's the REAL Santa!' It was so awful to see her little face fall when I gently told her the truth again.:( But I didn't want them confusing ever G-d's goodness and His gifts towards us with this thing. Course, at the time, I didn't know what the background of Christmas was, so I guess I was just following the Holy Spirit.

Any way---Prayers for you and the decisions you will have to make.

Beej

[Velcro]

The only family we have near us are my children and their families and my husband's son, who lives 150 miles south. My children are really into the holidays -- that was the way I reared them in my ignorance, except that we did not do halloween. So here is where I am:

The children know I do not observe Christmas, opting instead for Hanukkah; however, my husband is still in transition. In our home, I do Hanukkah and he does christmas, but he does not set up a tree or anything like that; he simply honors Y'shua's birth.

However, when my children have family in for Christmas, I go, because our schedules are such that we do not see one another enough. I bring their Hanukkah gifts in Hanukkah wrap, and they give out theirs in christmas wrap.

When I first became Messianic, my children were very upset with me. They felt like I had left a stringent church for a more stringent lifestyle. They did (and still do) not understand, but at least now, they are not upset. My stepson, however, would be Messianic in a moment's notice, if he had a place to attend.

[Beth-el girl]

I too have been through this all. My kids were torn. My family has been great we do a secular New Years gathering. No more Easter We do birthdays and Thanksgiving. My Mil on the other hand just doesn't get it. We still do a watered down thing for christmas with Her & bil's.
It gets to me sometimes but Hanukksh has helped ease out the the Christmas thing.
Passover can have goodies too so it's getting better.

[yod]

I went through this with a Catholic step-mom and an atheist dad when I first came to faith. I told them what my conviction was on the matter and that we no longer do egg hunts or Santa Claus and they had a k'niption fit. (Do ya'll have that up north?)

First thing they did was forbid me to come home for the holidays....but when dad went into the hospital for by-pass surgery, I was the only one of 5 kids to make the trip to see him. He actually asked me to pray for him in the hospital and became a believer when my prayers for a record-breaking speedy recovery were answered. He was walking (very slowly) only 2 hours after waking from his operation.

From then on, he has respected my wishes and it's not a big deal at all.

So I go home for the holidays because it's the only time where everyone is gathered together all year. The devil doesn't own even a single day and I'm the only follower of Yeshua most of my family will ever see.

Go love them!

[spacedust]

I'm very new to learning about being Torah observant....and these kinds of discussions are so helpful as I try to figure out how to make changes in my family's life. Did anyone have trouble with teenagers or younger kids as they changed their traditions?

[jgonz]

Getting rid of the Christmas tree was hard for some of my kids (even though we put Hanukkah decorations on it in years past, it was still a live tree and Smelled like a Christmas tree! ^_^ ) This past year, I started reading selected information on pagan holidays to the youngest kids (ages 2.5, 4.5, 6, & 10), and had my oldest kids (13, 15, & 20) read it for themselves. Not one person made a comment about missing the tree after that. ;)

I did the same thing (read outloud the pagan roots) for Groundhog's Day, then Valentine's Day, and I plan to do it for Easter too, even though we've never actually celebrated any of those, it's still nice to have the information for the kids to reinforce Why we're sticking with Biblical holidays only. (Especially when they're playing outside with the neighbor kids who try to make my kids feel badly for Not doing the typical holidays.)

Edited to add that for years we've done teachings on the Biblical holidays for the kids, so Those aren't new for them, but learning the pagan roots of other holidays was an eye opener for them. :)

[MyLittleWonders]

Well, here we are a few days away from e-ster, and we are still at a loss of what to do. My mom and I had a long conversation tonight (very pleasant) about it ... I know she would be heart-broken if we didn't show up. As well, we only see my cousins and their children on e-ster and chr-stmas and I do think it's important to have my kiddos grow up knowing their cousins. The question my mom keeps asking is, if to her (and pretty much every one who comes) e-ster is simply about being together as a family, eating breakfast, and then running around the yard finding plastic eggs filled with candy, how is that bad or paganistic? And honestly, I don't have an answer for her. How is that bad? My husband is a little more black-and-white about the issue and would rather just have me come to my mom's house. But, I don't really like that idea either. Praise HaShem that we are not fighting over this issue and are both earnestly seeking to find out what He wants for us. I still have such a strong want to be with my family that day ... man this is tough.

[P_G]

Here is where I likely get myself in big water

Now I have put a moratorium on all pagan symbols surrounding this day.
Rabbits, Eggs all of it.

Now having said that the resurection of Y'shua is of tremendous significance. At the very barest minimum it is a historical event that is reasonable to commemorate.

If not so shall we give up Memorial Day, 4th of July and Thanksgiiving also?

As usual what could be a few moments of very profound reflection of what has been done for us as been turned into a mess by the world.

I was in K-Mart the other day and saw of all things chocolate crosses. I really kind of thought that was over the top.

pg

[MyZz]

I sympathise with you Littlewonders,i know how torn you must be feeling.Personally i will not be having that problem this year because my mum and gran are spending these days away in a hotel in spain.But as at Christmas ,I would have gone if they had invited me over.In our family its just getting together as a family and will I reject my brother's easter egg gift to my son? no, I havent the heart to do that.My own view is that I will attend such gatherings as they are family gatherings and even though pagan in origin are being done to honour Yeshua after all so its not as though Im honouring an idol or a non existant deity.I know this may sound as though Im condoning this practises but not at all,its just that if we cut ourselves off from our families how on earth are we going to witness to them?Theyll just think we have become like these sects who cut themselves off their families etc.

Personally this year will be my first year out of the church and will not be celebrating easter as such.However I am still confused as to what to do..part of me wants to celebrate purim and part of me tells me that biblically we should be celebrating passover...and..this crucial friday seems to me this year to be meaningful to rabbinical judiasim,karaites and also christians in general ie as good friday...and this adds to my confusion,so I still dont know what to do...whatever it is my intention(kavanah) is in the right direction..just dont exactly know where mmsyelf yet.. LOL

[Sephania]

If you go by Biblical reckoning, then from sundown Saturday night to sundown Sunday it is the Feast of unleavened bread. The feast of Firstfruits ( the resurection) would not be until sundown on Sunday to sundown Monday. The unleavened bread feast is a High Holy Shabbat. Now you can choose to share this with your family, or just keep it in your mind that day, but I thought you may be interested.
:)

[Sephania]

In the end, for all of us, it only matters what Yeshua thinks of us, Is he first in EVERYTHING in our lives, or only when convienient?

[MyZz]

Thanks Zayit that is helpful :) so Pesach is friday sunset to saturday sunset yes?
I had, before being made aware of the karaite point of view,thought that it would be simple this year..ie celebrate purim and passover whilst not doing anything for easter..(except as Nehemiah put it, use it as a time of reflection and take advantage of the plethora of Jesus movies that are usually shown on tv at this time).
I still have time to clear the house of leaven LOL so I think its time to start thinking seriously about what Im doing..Im tempted to observe it twice but maybe thats not right somehow...anyone else having the same dilemma..or I guess they are too busy worrying about what to do about easter itself..as Ive got such a small family its not a problem for me..well I dont want to deviate the thread from its original intention .:) ..shalom shalom everyone