Leaving the Church

[loribee59]

Can't think of a better title, so it's self-explainatory. :) Thought to have a seperate thread, so to not hijack other threads.

So, share with the "unchurched" folks here:

when did you realize something went wrong
what led you to leave the church
why did you leave the church
what happened after you left

I'll go first:

I realized 6 months to a a year before I left that some of my friends were leaving, due to some "politics" in the church. I was hearing some things here and there, but didn't quite make the connection. I was still involved, but under the impression that if I don't do this or that, then God will not bless me. If I don't do nursery, shame on me, if I don't tithe, shame on me. The guilt trip was getting to me. I did get blessed when I tithe, but my spirit rebelled, I still had questions about tithing. I didn't like the 15 minute sermons on tithing. Something was wrong. I wasn't til I bumped into a former member at his workplace, did I get an earful. He didn't say much about the pastor, but mentioned that I should give the paster another "look" during his prayers. So I did, to my surprise and shock, seeing him with my spiritual eyes, bound in chains. My question about tithing deepened further, and at that time, I had a computer in 1998, and I googled for tithing and found a book about tithing and offerings. I bought the book, read it, studied it, and it set me FREE. I heard MORE stories about the church and decided that I didn't need that kind of dysfunction in the church. They kept reminding people that by leaving the church, you'll be cursed and left to the devil. That put the fear in me. But the freedom of leaving it was more powerful, so with sadness and fear I left the church in January 1999. I never wanted to go back to the spiritual abuse of fear, shame and guilt for NOT doing what the church wants me to do. I never want the arrogance, the pride, the put downs, the shaming, the finger wagging.

For 5 years now, I'm between churches. I'm attending one off and on for over a year and last month, was the last straw. So, I'll see. I'm just disappointed and just don't understand why the churches can't or won't admit the damages they've created or caused. :( I'm just glad that I've found CF and the wonderful people here with like mind and heart to be supportive. :hug:

~Lori

[Bevlina]

Well, I was sent to a Church of England Sunday School, and taught all about the C.O.E. faith until I was 11, then I was sent to a Catholic High School as an unbaptised child.
Confused??? You betcha!
I ended up marrying a Church Of England person (my 1st husband), and the Church wasn't very happy back in those days.And he was staunch anti catholic.
So, after being told to get out of the Catholic Church, I concentrated on my Bible as I could read one then. I wasn't permitted to as a Catholic.
Next thing, the Mormon's called. And, I joined the Mormon Church. No need to ask why I left them forever ....
So, I let Churches for many years, then, I went to an Apostolic. Wasn't happy. Then I went to the A.O.G. Wasn't happy at all.
I still love the true worship of the Catholic Church as I was a dedicated Catholic.
Then, I married a catholic. Confusion!! He'd divorced a catholic!! So, we couldn't be married in a Catholic Church,or by a Priest, so, we were married in the Methodist Church. And, the minister was lovely! I was OK with the Catholic Church, but this time, they frowned on my husband.

I think everyone knows the rest. Living in a small community where there are enornous farms & a little central town with 8 churches, everyone knows everyone else. And, when my Husband died, the churches left me for dead too.
My Husband was buried from the Catholic Church. And, now and then I go to the Catholic Church as my Mum was Catholic. But Dad was Church Of England.
And ... I'm so muddled up that I don't really know what religion I am!!
So now, I have my little Home Group and just stay away from them all. Too many rules and regulations.
BUT!! If any one of them ever need me to do anything for them, they know to just call in, and I will do it.
Have lots of fun helping the Catholic Ladies sell sandwiches and cakes, coffee and serving at the barbeques at the big farm auctions here!

[Iron Lion]

.
And ... I'm so muddled up that I don't really know what religion I am!!



Your a Christian and thats all that matters.

[PaladinGirl]

Well, I have been in various churches throughout my life. The three most prominent would have to be the Southern Baptist Church, the Nazarene Church, and the Fundamentalist Baptist Chruch. I have also visited other churches. However, none of them ever really made sense. The doctrine always confused me as it seemed that most churches were picking and choosing when it came to preaching and stuff. This bothered me. I believe it inevitably lead me to doubt the Christian faith. I became an Atheist or Agnostic for about a week after I felt betrayed by an online friend. I also experimented with Islam, Wicca, and the Occult. Then I came back to Christ around the time I joined Christian Forums. I was a Fundamentalist Baptist again for a short while but I had too many doubts about it. That and the fact that there was still a lot of stuff that didn't make sense. So I became a Liberal Christian and I visited churches every now and then trying to look for that "perfect church". I then started talking with a friend about Catholicism. Everything began to fall into place and to make sense for me. And here I am today, becoming more Conservative once more and studying Catholicism and hoping to start an RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation) class at my local Catholic Church soon. :) Praise God for His greatness! :clap:

[New_Wineskin]

Can't think of a better title, so it's self-explainatory. :) Thought to have a seperate thread, so to not hijack other threads.

So, share with the "unchurched" folks here:

when did you realize something went wrong
what led you to leave the church
why did you leave the church
what happened after you left


I know , it is hard to get a good title . You and I didn't leave the Church . We left groups and organizations calling themselves "churches" . The idea of "leaving the church" is incorrect as membership or going to one group exclusively is only a law made to enslave people . Well , that could be another thread .

I left because the Lord led me away ...for now . It was time to go . I still discuss things with Christians . We are the Church . Part of my not being a part of a group is that I completely disagree with the concept of joining a specific group . I may visit one one week and another a couple of weeks later . But , they don't like that . They have derogatory names for such people . But , I am ok with that .

[CWLite]

when did you realize something went wrong
what led you to leave the church
why did you leave the church
what happened after you left


I was born and raised in a baptist church, the same one for 22 years. I was a casual Christian, not nessessarily sold out for Christ. I had negative iinfluences in my life and politics crept in the church. I gradualy stopped going to church and started attending clubs and bars, drinking a lot. I did not, not once renouce God, I still new He was the only God. Praise God I found the church of my destiny! After I comming to my senses, I started attending the most awesome church ever (a little biased), a church of impact. That is what I needed, to have a church allow me to be involved and encourage spiritual growth. I am now sold out for Christ and loving life, I will never leave this church, they're stuck with me.

*We just got a new website*
www.churchwithoutlimits.com (http://www.churchwithoutlimits.com)

[Bevlina]

Although I don't believe one little thing they say in their "What We Believe" if you are happy with it, that's all that matters.

[kayanne]

Although I don't believe one little thing they say in their "What We Believe" if you are happy with it, that's all that matters.

Bevlina--just clarifying.....
Are you saying there is one small thing listed in their beliefs that you don't believe.......or are you saying there is not anything in their beliefs that you believe? :confused:

[ZiSunka]

What is it that you don't believe Belvina?

[Bevlina]

Well... I don't want to start a debate about this matter. But, I'm not sure that speaking in tongues is a sign of the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
This is in the 'What We Believe' Section.


7. Baptism of the Holy Spirit
The ministry and baptism of the Holy Spirit are to glorify Jesus Christ and to indwell, guide, and empower believers for life and service. This baptism brings the gifts or enablements of the Holy Spirit and their uses to the forefront of the ministry of the body of Christ. This experience is distinct from and subsequent to the experience of the new birth and is evidenced by the initial physical sign of speaking with other tongues as the Spirit of God gives utterance. (Acts 2:1-4)
That's the only little thing I'm not sure of.

[Tavita]

I'd say my journey began about seven years ago. It was around this time there was a growing awareness that something was missing in 'church' and within myself. I knew I was falling asleep spiritually and struggled for nearly five years with the feeling that there was something more to being a christian, but couldn't put my finger on it. I knew the church wasn't measuring up to what a church should be in this century, let alone measure up to the new testament church. There were so many questions rattling around in my head. And the fact that our so called 'tithes' were being used for buildings and projects rather than helping the poor or community projects where everyone benefits. I started questioning tithing itself, the 'don't touch God's annointed' thing, the 'why is there only one man in charge and doing what he likes' thing, the questions just kept coming. I especially became offended at a few things being taught that I could plainly see in scripture were false.

Roughly two years ago this all came to a head when one of my christian friends desperately needed the help of the church and was duly ignored. By this time I had managed to sit in church every week picking everything that was said and done to pieces within myself until the Lord said to me one morning "Why are you still sitting there then?"... I knew I had to leave, so I did.

Now at this stage I also became very interested in the Hebraic Roots movement and had been given revelation of the 'Two House' truth. The Lord had put within my heart a burning love for Israel and the Jewish way of doing things. But with this new revelation and the love of things Jewish, I went too far, and found myself living under the Law (Torah). A Jewish/American man whom I'd met in a messianic forum, helped me to see the deception I was in, and I finally made my way (led by the Lord) out of being under the Law and put myself back under the Law of the Spirit of God written on the heart.

I was in this movement for about a year and during the last year I've been slowly cleansing myself of the 'Law' thing and moving on. Coming into CF and making some great friends helped. It also helped when I met another Two House believer in here who has helped me to see I don't need the Law. But I have to say, that going through all this has helped me to see what deception is all about, and I believe the Lord let me take that journey into and out of Torah for a reason.

So right now I'm on my own in this little town in New South Wales, Australia. I still can't abide the false teachings that go on in all the churches. I know there are people in this town who are on their own too, but at this stage we just can't seem to get it together to meet in homes yet. I'm resolved to just let the Lord lead and guide us into what He wants of us and to take things one day at a time.

[bobbichan]

when did you realize something went wrong
what led you to leave the church
why did you leave the church
what happened after you left

Well, besides the fact that I'm rather antisocial, and I find it very hard to get into the traditional worship services at the past two churches I've attended...

I just realized that there are SO many things wrong with the church as a whole. I've become so critical of it in the past year. It seems so far from what Christ actually taught. The tithes being used for building projects instead of helping others in the name of Christ is one thing that set me off. Another, was worshipping on Sunday (which I found through study of history and God's word alone), to not be the true Sabbath. The constant act of putting Jesus back up on the cross, so that he didn't defeat sin. I personally glorify Jesus as ressurected and at the right hand of God. All the relics that you find in churches... the ritualisticness of it all. Ugh, it just screams apostacy.

Not only that, but my eschatolical beliefs are different from what churches in my area teach (at least the 10 or so that I've attended). I just can't sit through sermons that I feel are far from Biblical truth. I personally believe that we're drawing very near to "the end" so to speak. I just feel the urge to learn the truth of these matters from God's word alone, and send the message to people around me. It's just an urgency, I feel God has laid on my heart. I want to be as far from the apostacy as possible. If that means worshipping God in my own home until I can find a group of believers who are on the same wavelength as me, so be it. I've found plenty online, so I know I'm not alone. The Lord knows my reasons. ^_^

Also another point, you're constantly held in bondage by not going to church by other church-going Christians. My ex boyfriend constantly eggs me on to go back to church. I've tried to explain my reasons to him, but he writes me off as a nutcase or something. *sigh* Since when does being a Christian mean you go to church? Since when does church make you a better Christian? Sure, it's great to share in fellowship, and it's great to hear God's word. But, I can do that elsewhere. I don't need to be in bondage.

As far as what's happened since I decided to leave for good... well I'm spending a lot of time reading God's word, without being dependant on what someone else says it's talking about. =) I feel I've grown quite a bit, but I know I have a long way to go. All in all, I feel a lot better.

I would still really like to tithe... but to the right places. Does anyone know of any place that gives 100% of the donations to helping people in the name of Christ?

I hope nothing I said was offensive to anyone. I appolgize if it was.

[Bevlina]

Nothing was said to offend anyone Bobbi. And no, I know of no place that gives 100% of their tithes to helping people in the Name of Jesus.

[ZiSunka]

Well... I don't want to start a debate about this matter. But, I'm not sure that speaking in tongues is a sign of the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
This is in the 'What We Believe' Section.



That's the only little thing I'm not sure of.

I think this is what it is refering to:

Acts 19:3 And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, Unto John's baptism.
4 Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus.
5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.
6 And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.

and:

Mark 1:5 And there went out unto him all the land of Judaea, and they of Jerusalem, and were all baptized of him in the river of Jordan, confessing their sins.
6 And John was clothed with camel's hair, and with a girdle of a skin about his loins; and he did eat locusts and wild honey;
7 And preached, saying, There cometh one mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.
8 I indeed have baptized you with water: but he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost.

and:

John 1:33 And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.

[Albion]

Can't think of a better title, so it's self-explainatory. :) Thought to have a seperate thread, so to not hijack other threads.

So, share with the "unchurched" folks here:

when did you realize something went wrong
what led you to leave the church
why did you leave the church
what happened after you left

I'll go first:

I realized 6 months to a a year before I left that some of my friends were leaving, due to some "politics" in the church. I was hearing some things here and there, but didn't quite make the connection. I was still involved, but under the impression that if I don't do this or that, then God will not bless me. If I don't do nursery, shame on me, if I don't tithe, shame on me. The guilt trip was getting to me. I did get blessed when I tithe, but my spirit rebelled, I still had questions about tithing. I didn't like the 15 minute sermons on tithing. Something was wrong. I wasn't til I bumped into a former member at his workplace, did I get an earful. He didn't say much about the pastor, but mentioned that I should give the paster another "look" during his prayers. So I did, to my surprise and shock, seeing him with my spiritual eyes, bound in chains. My question about tithing deepened further, and at that time, I had a computer in 1998, and I googled for tithing and found a book about tithing and offerings. I bought the book, read it, studied it, and it set me FREE. I heard MORE stories about the church and decided that I didn't need that kind of dysfunction in the church. They kept reminding people that by leaving the church, you'll be cursed and left to the devil. That put the fear in me. But the freedom of leaving it was more powerful, so with sadness and fear I left the church in January 1999. I never wanted to go back to the spiritual abuse of fear, shame and guilt for NOT doing what the church wants me to do. I never want the arrogance, the pride, the put downs, the shaming, the finger wagging.

For 5 years now, I'm between churches. I'm attending one off and on for over a year and last month, was the last straw. So, I'll see. I'm just disappointed and just don't understand why the churches can't or won't admit the damages they've created or caused. :( I'm just glad that I've found CF and the wonderful people here with like mind and heart to be supportive. :hug:

~Lori

I guess I'm a little different from some others here in that I have a definable set of preferences and beliefs that represent a known denomination but no church nearby. Therefore--home church. It's not totally different, however, since almost every non-denominational, independent, even home church assembly has a set of beliefs that describe some known denomination, etc..

On the other hand, we are in agreement with everyone else on the fact that the bureaucracy and politics of just about every denomination drives people away and is contrary to the Gospel. I am surprised at how many people who have been offended and damaged in one of the big denominational churches continues to take it, as though they will lose God if they don't go on holding membership in the organization.

[ZiSunka]

Acutally a lot of people here have said that they prefer a denom but there aren't any churches of that type near them so they home church or don't go to church at all.

[GaelSong]

Actually, I am attracted to Messanic Judiasim for some unknown reason. However, like you Tavita, I worry about falling back under the law.

[Tavita]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERRI!

[Tavita]

Merri, your desire for Israel and Jewish things is God given. If you're a prayer warrior/intercessor, your call would be to learn these things to equip you to understand the Jews and their ways. The time will come soon when the Jews will come into the kingdom in droves and the Lord is raising up His prayer warriors and intercessors now to bring them in. Learn about the olive tree to start with. If you need to know more PM me.

[xenia]

I do belong to a church and attend pretty much every Sunday. However, my type of church is not all that common in this country and if I ever found myself in a location where the nearest EO church was over 100 miles away, I would stay home and pray alone, or with whoever wanted to pray with me. I'd probably make the trip to church once a year or so for Communion. I don't think this arrangement would upset me too overly much, either.

When I left the old denomination for this one, you would have thought I joined the Moonies or something. The folks at the old place act as if I have died. I have died... died to the world. A lot of the reasons you all have given for not attending church are very valid. If the only choice was to attend the old church or stay at home, I would gladly stay at home.

[Quentin]

Hi,
I brought my whole family back to God. First it was my grandma. We began attending services at a community church. Then my mom attended and so forth. Eventually all except my dad (parent's are divorced btw) became members. We go every sunday and I love it! Except for the youth band (another story for another time). Anywayz, when I get older, I probably will be homechurched. Lately I am getting sick of going every sunday...maybe it's a stage a teen goes through? :confused: Finally, I am outraged most believers think the church is the building you go to on sundays. It is the people you meet and converse with that are the Church. :)

That's my two cents. ;)

[ZiSunka]

I don't think that MOST Believers think that the church is a building, I think most UNBELIEVERS think that and that's why they don't go. Who wants to waste time looking at the same building every week. I think we Believers know that the church is the family of Believers as well as the building where they meet. I like to call the building the meeting house and the body of Believers the church! :)

[Tavita]

Yes, lambslove, I would have to agree with your thoughts here. Unbelievers do think the church is the building only because that's how we've portrayed it over the years. The people in the church have got to get the understanding and knowledge of WHO they really are first, so the rest of the world can see the truth.

[Bevlina]

Yes I must agree with both you ladies there. People do tend to think the church is a building. That's how we were all brought up I think.
But hey! It'd be strange to see a group of people walk down the street and have unbelievers say "There goes the Body of Christ".

[New_Wineskin]

When people continue to use the phrase "go to church" , they perpetuate the idea that the church is a place or a building and not the believers themselves .

[Bevlina]

Exactly, when in actual fact, the believers are the Body of Christ, not the building. The building itself is only where they congregate to worship And, many a wonderful Meeting has actually been held in a tent!

[Count]

I left the........no, no, not the church but an organization called "the curch" 6-7 years ago. After attending these meetings for about 4 years, a crises which continued for about 2 years, took place. During these 2 years this outward crises began to become an inward crises. At first I couldn't understand how the elders of that church building who were more than 25 years in Christ could fiercely fight each other. When I saw their real spirituality I imagined myself at their age being at the same level. At that time the so called church split and I left that organization.

The difference with me is that I left the "church" not because of some problems that I had with some persons, becasue all the churches have problems. I didn't left a church building just to go to another. I left the organized church for ever because I wanted to find the real church. The real church is not a particular church with a particular name. The real church however is not find within the institutional or organized church. A real church is when the believers could experience real church life, and could share Christ with each other. A real church is when all the believers could serve in spiritual things, not only a bunch of them. A real church is when all the believers could be priests, not only a few of them. A real church is only when the head of the body is Jesus Christ and no one else. A real church is when she (not it) is not organized and chained by human rules and regulations, and when her life springs out spontanously. She daily learns to eat from the Tree of Life, not from the Tree of Knowledge.

I have had the chance to talk with brothers and sisters that experience church life. They never say the phrase "go to church". Instead of "when I go to church" they say "when the church gather" or "when I go to the home the church gather". And they do this spontanously,not as a rule.

For the time being I live in Athens, Greece and I hope that soon I will experience daily the church life here in Greece.

[Albion]

I left the........no, no, not the church but an organization called "the curch" 6-7 years ago. After attending these meetings for about 4 years, a crises which continued for about 2 years, took place. During these 2 years this outward crises began to become an inward crises. At first I couldn't understand how the elders of that church building who were more than 25 years in Christ could fiercely fight each other. When I saw their real spirituality I imagined myself at their age being at the same level. At that time the so called church split and I left that organization.

The difference with me is that I left the "church" not because of some problems that I had with some persons, becasue all the churches have problems. I didn't left a church building just to go to another. I left the organized church for ever because I wanted to find the real church. The real church is not a particular church with a particular name. The real church however is not find within the institutional or organized church. A real church is when the believers could experience real church life, and could share Christ with each other. A real church is when all the believers could serve in spiritual things, not only a bunch of them. A real church is when all the believers could be priests, not only a few of them. A real church is only when the head of the body is Jesus Christ and no one else. A real church is when she (not it) is not organized and chained by human rules and regulations, and when her life springs out spontanously. She daily learns to eat from the Tree of Life, not from the Tree of Knowledge.

I have had the chance to talk with brothers and sisters that experience church life. They never say the phrase "go to church". Instead of "when I go to church" they say "when the church gather" or "when I go to the home the church gather". And they do this spontanously,not as a rule.

For the time being I live in Athens, Greece and I hope that soon I will experience daily the church life here in Greece.

The word obviously has several different meanings. More than these two, in fact. Everyone I know says "go to church" when they mean assemble with others for worship, but they also know that, theologically, the "church" is more than just the worship site or even the local assembly of believers you were speaking of. It is the faithful, the saved, found in whatever denomination (or non-denomination) everywhere who are known only to God.

[Count]

The word obviously has several different meanings. More than these two, in fact. Everyone I know says "go to church" when they mean assemble with others for worship, but they also know that, theologically, the "church" is more than just the worship site or even the local assembly of believers you were speaking of. It is the faithful, the saved, found in whatever denomination (or non-denomination) everywhere who are known only to God.

I absolutely agree with you brother, but I was speaking of experiencing church life here on earth in a particular local church. For instance, actually I am not attending any church meeting, but I am still member of the Church since I believe in Jesus Christ, but it doesn't mean that I don't need to be among brothers and sisters and experience the body of Christ acording to the New Testament records.

[Tawny]

Well I left about 5 years ago, for the reasons I stated below. As far as I am concerned 'church' can be anywhere, as long as you are praising God. So for me, although I don't go down to the big stone building in my village I am still a commited member of the 'greater church'.

Nicky

[Bevlina]

Me too Nicky. There are many various churches on earth today. Too many! I am comitted to God through my Saviour Jesus Christ, and that means far more to me than a building.

[Gumdrop71]

Lately I am getting sick of going every sunday...maybe it's a stage a teen goes through?
========================================
Exactly the reason I stopped going. No, it's not that you are a teen, it's the "saints" who love to play martyr and attend services while they are deathly ill. I suppose it's a "good" thing to spread germs to everyone at church.

[Albion]

Well I left about 5 years ago, for the reasons I stated below. As far as I am concerned 'church' can be anywhere, as long as you are praising God. So for me, although I don't go down to the big stone building in my village I am still a commited member of the 'greater church'.

Nicky

How does one receive the sacraments while praising God in isolation?

[Albion]

I absolutely agree with you brother, but I was speaking of experiencing church life here on earth in a particular local church. For instance, actually I am not attending any church meeting, but I am still member of the Church since I believe in Jesus Christ, but it doesn't mean that I don't need to be among brothers and sisters and experience the body of Christ acording to the New Testament records.

I agree. My point was more about the fact that so many have been saying that church means either the building or the assembly of believers, as though there is any big confusion. Most people know that both meanings are attached to the word, "church."