Not much happenin in the cyber corp's....lets play a game...

[chaplainjared]

I will start the story, the rest of you continue it......

One day there was a man named fred, he lived in a small town in canada called....

[Andy Broadley]

Ontpegonto

[chaplainjared]

one day he was walking down the street in his home town of 'Ontpegonto' when a giant frog jumped out in front of him and screamed.......

[someone_else]

can i tell you about my friend jesus he is so.......

[elm0]

awesomely special! He even has.....

[Andy Broadley]

frogs as special friends.....

[elm0]

He had one frog friend named Jeremiah......

[someone_else]

one day Jesus took his friend jeremiah to................

[Andy Broadley]

the library..........(space coming up for a good 'readit, readit' joke)

[someone_else]

there were soo many good books so they decided to just chosse one and readit readit (happy?). once they finshed the book they decided......

[kiora]

to go and tell our the people of the city about the wonderful news of Jesus :)

[elm0]

Of course Jeremiah was a prophet (as well as a bullfrog).....

[someone_else]

he much prefered being a prophet being a bullfrog was just way to........

[Abiel]

reach unsaved frogs.

[elm0]

So the JJ's (Jesus & Jeremiah) went into the town hall in the middle of Bingo Day......

[Abiel]

...to let the people know that bingo is gambling and therefore against O+R's...

[elm0]

..to which the people replied "What are O+R's?"

[Abiel]

...and the frog said 'the orders and regulations for soldiers of the Salvation Army'.

[someone_else]

to which the crowd went OOOOOOOOOOO ok can we get back to our game now?

[Andy Broadley]

No said the frog, it's just not Army......

[chaplainjared]

but the crowd of people playing bingo were disgusted that jeremiah would say such a thing..

One old lady from the crowd stood up and said "jeremiah, your just a bull frog we will never listen to you because....................................."

[Andy Broadley]

you are so full of..............

[someone_else]

..of..of...of.....of... well the point is your just a bullfrog............J&J knew there was not much more they could do for these people other than pray so they went to the park to pray.......

[Andy Broadley]

Hey, come off those swings, we said pray not play...........

[someone_else]

Jesus said but jerimiah dont you know that you can Pray to God wherever you are. so J&J both sat on the swings and prayed for the people playing bingo.......

[Andy Broadley]

until God lovingly reminded them that just because O&R doesn't allow it, doesn't always mean that it's a sin, and look out beacause the park keepers coming this way........................

[someone_else]

yes and they were praying they would not get addicted. AMEN...........they jumped off the swings and ran/hopped as fast as they could to the aquarium to vist some friends

[Andy Broadley]

but when they got there they realised they had no money to get in with so ..............................

[elm0]

Oops, ignore this! I missed a page of the story, so I posted something about J&J being pelted with bingo balls for saying its not Army. Anyway, back to the story....

[elm0]

Jesus walked across the water with Jeremiah on his shoulder to get to the nearest ATM.

[Andy Broadley]

which had just been vandalised

[someone_else]

*sounds from the people hearing the story OH NO*

[elm0]

But that didn't phase Jesus. After all he could turn water into wine just by......

[Abiel]

So there were J+J, at the town hall, being very army, when suddenly...

[Andy Broadley]

They suudenly wondered how they had got to the Town hall from the cash point.......

[kiora]

and they were all confused

[Andy Broadley]

and decided that they needed a cup of tea very badly

[elm0]

But none of the local tearooms would make a cup of tea very badly for them.

[Abiel]

So they had to settle for a nice one instead.

[Andy Broadley]

Which must mean that they have arrived at our drop in

[chaplainjared]

at the 'drop in' they met a nice old man named abraham. He was a wise, faithfull old man who said he had a huge family scattered all over the world. J+J were amazed at the stories the old man told them. Then Jeremiah said "ive read about you somewhere"...the old man then stood up with a look of shock on his face, he put his hand over his heart and screamed................

[Andy Broadley]

Of course you've heard of me, I've got a famous son called Homer

[elm0]

Which must mean that they have arrived at our drop in

So you're saying Jesus wasn't already here?

[Andy Broadley]

So you're saying Jesus wasn't already here?

Eh?

[elm0]

(back to the story)

Yes, Abraham had many sons, many sons had father Abraham....

[Andy Broadley]

So you're saying Jesus wasn't already here?

Right, just got what you meant.

Back to the story...


I am one of them and so are you, but as this song might be copwrited, we'd better not do any more

[elm0]

So there Jesus & Jeremiah were, having a spot of tea and SAOs at the local Sally drop-in...

[Andy Broadley]

with Abraham, who was still going on about something or other......




*Andy leaves as it's bedtime*:clap: :clap: :clap:

[elm0]

(Goodnight Andy)

but because Abraham had started mumbling, nobody could hear him.

[Abiel]

Father Abraham was mumbling 'WHere are my smurfs?'

[someone_else]

to which jeremiah said "what are smurfs?"

[elm0]

Abraham was such a forgetful old man, he'd left his smurfs in his other jacket, and he'd also forgotten what smurfs were.

[Abiel]

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:pkYPqRD1rd8J:www.satt.org/grafiken2/smurf.gif (http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.satt.org/grafiken2/smurf.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.satt.org/comic/02_09_schluempfe-16_1.html&h=385&w=300&sz=11&tbnid=pkYPqRD1rd8J:&tbnh=118&tbnw=92&start=2&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsmurf%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG)http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:rBSElR1LdUMJ:bluebuddies.com/gallery/Smurf_Record_Albums/jpg/Smurfs_Records_Father_Abraham_In_Smurfland_Front.jpg (http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://bluebuddies.com/gallery/Smurf_Record_Albums/jpg/Smurfs_Records_Father_Abraham_In_Smurfland_Front.jpg&imgrefurl=http://bluebuddies.com/Smurfs_Smurf_Record_Albums-13.htm&h=300&w=400&sz=32&tbnid=rBSElR1LdUMJ:&tbnh=90&tbnw=120&start=3&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfather%2Babraham%2Bsmurf%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG) Here they are.

[Andy Broadley]

As they entered the room, they were singing this song with Abraham.

A: Where are you all coming from?

S: We're from Dartmoor on the run.

A: How did you work out your route?

S: We followed the arrows on our suits

A: What was you in Dartmoor for?

S: We borrowed the safe from the bank next door


Tra la lalalalalala la la la....

[elm0]

Jeremiah saw the little blue men (and one little blue woman) and was amazed, he turned to Jesus and said....

[Andy Broadley]

Good stuff this Army tea.......

[someone_else]

very very good stuff

[Andy Broadley]

so good that theyd ecided to ther recipie back with them to the mother ship

[Abiel]

SO, now fully charged on high caffiene, high sugar tea, the two J's...

[elm0]

started jumping around (That's when they became known as the Jumping Js).....

[Abiel]

because they had just seen...

[Andy Broadley]

A really good picture of Tracy at her commissioning, which is more than the rest of us, cos she took it down.

[Abiel]

NOOOO!!!!It was far too big!!!

[Abiel]

...because they had just seen...

[Andy Broadley]

A really good picture of Tracy at her commissioning, which is more than the rest of us, cos she took it down.


Thou shalt not hide thy light under a bushel, nor thy commissioning photo on thy hard drive...

[elm0]

So, after seeing the picture, and rejoicing by jumping around a lot....

[Andy Broadley]

They figured it would be cool to form a band and go on tour....

[elm0]

So the The Jumping Js started auditions.....

[Andy Broadley]

They signed up Gideon on trumpet....

[elm0]

David on guitar (it's kinda like a harp(1Sa 16:23 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/1Sa/1Sa016.html#23)))
And Jubal on flute (Gen 4:21)
And Miriam on the timbrel (Exd 15:20).......

[chaplainjared]

Jesus took the role of lead guitarist, because he looked great moshing with his long hair flowing back and forth, and jeremiah was the .................

[Andy Broadley]

*Brain siezed up, can't think*

[elm0]

*Brain siezed up, can't think*

Must be the drummer ^_^

[Andy Broadley]

When I've had some sleep I'll work that one out and reply in suitable fashiion

[Blueskies]

The first practice was pretty rough. The instruments were all out of tune and the drummer couldn't get the beat. After a few more practices they started sounding pretty good, so...

[elm0]

They started looking for some singers......

[someone_else]

and a heavenly choir appered before them and sounded.....

[elm0]

um, heavenly?.......

[Abiel]

BUt Miriam the timbrelist got jealous...

[Andy Broadley]

Until Jeremiah took her to one side and said...

[someone_else]

Miriam,...remember we all have a role to play in the band. the heavely choir are to sound heavanly and the timbrels are to sound timbrely

[Andy Broadley]

and I go bang bang

[someone_else]

after practice it was time to do their first gig

[Abiel]

...and since none of them had ever built a small horse pulled cart before, it was a real challenge...

[Andy Broadley]

Fortunately Delerious? were passing by at the moment and explained the whole 'gig' thing to them........

[Abiel]

...so dressed in beanies off they went

[Andy Broadley]

And booked Wembley Arena for a week and hired Petra as the support band. Now who gonna do the catering?.....

[Abiel]

Mary will do tea.

[Andy Broadley]

& Elm0 is a dab hand at sizzlin sausages

[Abiel]

The happy day came. The caterers were in place, and the crowd was filling the stadium...

[Andy Broadley]

Back stage, the dressing room was buzzing...

[elm0]

"Green doesn't suit you....

[Andy Broadley]

"Never mind green, who let those bees in here?....

[elm0]

But it wasn't bees, it was just the heavenly choir in their new outfits.

[Andy Broadley]

So Jeremiah told them to buzz off to their own dressing room...

[Abiel]

...and the call went out

[elm0]

Curtain call that is......"5 minutes!"......

[Abiel]

sweat poured from arm pits...hearts raced...mouths dried out...

[elm0]

Jeremiah was so nervous he nearly croaked....

[Abiel]

..he went toadly doolaly

[elm0]

Luckily David had brought his harp along, and was able to calm Jeremiah...

[Abiel]

so, the tension is the atmosphere rose, but our heroes felt calm...

[elm0]

Then it was time! At last they were......

[Abiel]

...about to do that thing that they had been planning on doing for so many posts...

[Andy Broadley]

The crowd went wild as they launched into their opening number, which was....

[Abiel]

...one they had been practicing for weeks and weeks...

[elm0]

"I just wanna be, You just wanna be, We just wanna be......"

[Abiel]

Just then...

[elm0]

the power went out!

[Andy Broadley]

Which, having heard this lot practice, was probably an act of mercy on God's part.....

[Abiel]

but the boys were troubled...

[Andy Broadley]

They'd just heard that a rival band called 'Elijah and the Prophets' was in town....

[Abiel]

...and they had a spectacular fire raining down stage show, but now our heroes had no electricity...

[elm0]

But they still had....

[Andy Broadley]

the master key to all the dressing rooms....

[elm0]

in all the land.

[Andy Broadley]

Sothey quickly set off...........

[Abiel]

to find out which...

[Andy Broadley]

one of the 'Prophets' pyrotechnics crew had sabotaged the lights.....

[Abiel]

...of the previously...

[chaplainjared]

"HANG ON A SECOND" one of the roadies yelled. "If Jesus is here...then this is the second coming, and ive missed the rapture"....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Abiel]

but they were all pan milleniumists, so everyone relaxed. 'It will all pan out in the end.'

[elm0]

but they were all pan milleniumists, so everyone relaxed. 'It will all pan out in the end.'

(Hehe, I think someone's been listening to the same preacher as me. Anyway, back to the story...)


But the roadie was so upset that he was sobbing, and he couldn't hear them above all the noise he was making...

[Abiel]

as he tried to put the kettle on.

[elm0]

He was forgetting that the power was still out and....

[Abiel]

was gettign so frustrated

[Andy Broadley]

until Jesus decided to get it all sorted out once and for all.....

[Abiel]

by...

[Andy Broadley]

simply....

[chaplainjared]

Putting The Power Back On With A Point Of His Finger!

[Abiel]

A sigh of relief from our heroes.

[Andy Broadley]

Not to mention us lot, who were starting to flounder a little....

[Tavita]

And the crowd went wild..

[Andy Broadley]

which one?

[Abiel]

In the audience was Simon Cowell.

[Andy Broadley]

So Jeremiah shot him....

[Abiel]

but he refused to die...He thought the band was so great he...

[Andy Broadley]

went on and on so much that Jeremiah finally got fed up and ate him....

[Abiel]

...and then thought better of it, and took the fantastic contract.

[Andy Broadley]

that had been offered to him by the mafia, to have Simon cemented into a motorway bridge...

[Abiel]

but being a good Christian type, rather than cementing Simon...

[Andy Broadley]

he stoned him and buned him at the stake as a heratic.....

[Abiel]

but swooping from the sxy came a valiant hero, he grabbed the ailing super star mentor....

[Andy Broadley]

by the head, which, being burnt to a crisp, promptly disintegrated...

[Abiel]

and was heard to say 'what must i do to be saved?'

[Andy Broadley]

To which Jesus replied, "Believe in Me, and keep your hands off our band. We've just signed with that rising new label 'SalvoRock'...".

[SonOfThunder]

Salvo-Rock, travels from town to town with it's usual groupie's, they wear long hair and long frocks....parents mutter "why don't they cut their hair and wear 'normal' clothes. The main head groupie is called Paul, he was a rebel in his previous days, His hair rocks ;)

[Andy Broadley]

And wherever they went, groups of people looked disapproving and said to each other....

[Abiel]

'why were they so mean to SImon? That's not much of a witness'

[SonOfThunder]

The head of this group named Jesus could see deeper than all the others, He saw into their hearts and knew their motive, what do you think they muttered about?

[Andy Broadley]

All the things that were going on that were just not Army....

[SonOfThunder]

Listen to my words said Jesus...


John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by meJesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me


at that that band fell to their knees, they knew they to go out with their music with the message to the people.


Their first gig was in the local town, I wonder how many will turn up?

[Andy Broadley]

They started with the classic 'God gave Rock and Roll to you'....

[Abiel]

...and the crowd pogoed

[Andy Broadley]

They then launched into the old Stryper standard "We will, rock the Hell out of you" followed by a cover of Petra's "Get on your knees and fight like a man"

[Abiel]

and the crowd haed banged

[Andy Broadley]

After this wild opening they took it right down with the beautiful "Honestly"

[Abiel]

the crowd held their torches aloft

[Andy Broadley]

A medley of Steve Taylor and Newsboys material soon got them jumping again...

(This gig is going too well)

[Abiel]

..but disaster!

[Andy Broadley]

(told You)

[SonOfThunder]

the thunder roared, and the lights went out all except the dim glow from the lamps, pandemonium struck the people and they tried to scatter toward the exit.........

[Andy Broadley]

But Jesus knew that the band were producing the best music they'd ever played, and there was no way He was gonna allow the gig to be stoped. Hardly missing a beat on His guitar, He silenced the thunder and got the lights back....

[SonOfThunder]

Toward the end of the night a youth went up to Jesus..... these are the words he spoke......................

[Andy Broadley]

Hello, my name is Danny, I've got this group with my mates called....



(get this wrong and my daughter will never forgive you)

[SonOfThunder]

called.......'The Hell Raisers' :mad: :mad: :mad: will you come Join our band Jesus? we like what you did with the lights and the music.

[Andy Broadley]

(o dear, my daughter will be disappointed)

..with a quick 1,2,3,4, Jesus led His band into a blasting rendition of "We will rock the Hell out of you"..

[SonOfThunder]

just then, up popped the most alarming looking dog you ever did see from the stage trap door.........

[Andy Broadley]

http://www.a-arca.com/acetato/downloads/wallpapers/droopy800.jpg


I'm Saaaaad

[Abiel]

'Why are you so sad' asked Danny.

[SonOfThunder]

Is this sad? I sure am happy to meet you and woundered if you will come and share my food and doghouse tonight?

[Abiel]

And so a date was set

[Andy Broadley]

Have flea, will travel....

[chaplainjared]

They met at a local restaurant on the corner of south road, opposite Mcdonalds. It was called Cafe.................

[Andy Broadley]

South...

[SonOfThunder]

Cafe South had a sign in the window that said 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'

so off they all went to the local park, all played on the swings and some tossed the ball for the new found friend doggy.

Right then the sky opened up and became bright........they all looked up and saw........................................

[chaplainjared]

Superman fly past. He was going off to help a nearby city which was having trouble with riots, the city is around 900km east, and is infamous for riots, its name is..................

[Andy Broadley]

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch.....

[SonOfThunder]

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch.....

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch is what Superman shouted down to the group in the park, I think it is dog language for>>>>>>>>>>

[Andy Broadley]

St Mary's Church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool of Llantysilio of the Red Cave

But only for Welsh dogs....

[chaplainjared]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA......They all laughed so histerically that they stoped breathing and died.

THE END

[Andy Broadley]

RIP.

[Abiel]

Is the story finished? Perhaps we should start a new one in a new thread?

[Andy Broadley]

Yea, you can drag a good thing out too long (remember Dallas?)


Be a good little mod and give it a decent buriel

[Abiel]

The story is, by common consent, complete!