Dealing with hatred

[BlackSab]

Hi everyone. I have a problem that I just can't seem to get over.

I was 20 years in a Pentecostal church, and at the end of my time, I have come out bitter, hateful, twisted, unloving and unforgiving. I totally despise the charasmatics/Pentecostals, and was appallingly treated in my last church. I have come to have grave misgivings about the Pentecostal church, and all their signs and wonders, their chantings they call tongues, their heavy push always for money, the amount of attention the music team is given to lure people to their church, the falling down on the floor and people rolling around, etc. Oh what the heck, the whole thing.

I haven't been to church in nearly 2 years as I have been consumed by hate and contempt. Only recently I have started attending a Baptist church which I like, but I still am having trouble coming there every week, not because of anything with the church, but me.

I still am angry and bitter, and years have passed since my old church, and I just can't seem to get any better.

Appreciate your advice.

[seebs]

Er, well, it sounds trite, but... Forgive them. One thing you can do is try to look for the good things about the people you're having trouble with.

I can probably track down a story for you about a Baptist who shares a church building with some Pentecostals, and his stories of how and why he loves sharing the building with them. They sound like excellent people.

You will find bad people, and good, in every church. Some individual churches have better or worse atmospheres.

But... For better or worse, that church was part of how God got you to where you are today.

[rural_preacher]

BlackSab,

I am praying for you. I understand what you're dealing with. I worked for several years at a Pentecostal college. I made many friends and we learned a lot about each other (baptist & pentecostal). We were able to put away a lot of misunderstandings, misconceptions and stereotypes that we all had. However, one thing that I learned about the Pentecostal community is that their emphasis on signs and wonders makes them prone to emotionalism and insincerity. Some (not all!) have a problem staying grounded in the Truth of God's Word and living lives of sincere love. However, that's not to say that Baptists are without problems! There is no perfect church...we are all fighting that battle between the flesh and the Spirit everyday.

I trust that you have found a church that is full of sincere, loving believers who are walking consistently in step with the Spirit of God and are staying in the Word. You need the fellowship of the congregation to help you get past your anger and hatred. I am praying that God will do a powerful work of reconciliation in your heart.

As you walk with God and seek to live the fruit of the Spirit toward others, God will bring into your life those that will bring true encouragement and edification.

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"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another."
Galatians 5:22-26


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[SumTinWong]

BlackSab,

It happens to everyone who moves from one faith or belief to another. If you notice the people who convert for the lack of a better word from one rite to another usually become that sects most staunch supporter and also the one they are leavings worst enemy. You will see it here with people who have left the Catholic church, and for those who have gone to it.

I would say what you are experiencing is normal, but not very nice. Let it go. If you do not forgive them how can your heavenly father forgive you?

Hope this helps in some small way.

[BlackSab]

BlackSab,

It happens to everyone who moves from one faith or belief to another. If you notice the people who convert for the lack of a better word from one rite to another usually become that sects most staunch supporter and also the one they are leavings worst enemy. You will see it here with people who have left the Catholic church, and for those who have gone to it.

I would say what you are experiencing is normal, but not very nice. Let it go. If you do not forgive them how can your heavenly father forgive you?

Hope this helps in some small way.
I just want to say thank you to everyone for their kindness and thoughtful responses. I really need it at the moment.

And as far as stating that all these mystical, supernatural experiences making people prone to insincerity, how very true. You have hit the nail on the head.

I just don't get it. I have struggled and struggled trying to understand how time after time, the most moralistic and conservtive Christians, and the ones with the most amount of supenatural and mystical testimonies, are often the worst people to be involved with. You would just figure that if all these people are prophesying by God, falling down on the floor by God, speaking in tongues by God, blah blah blah blah..........that the fruit of love would be really evident. It is no exaggeration for me to say that most non Christians I have been involved with, have treated me better than all these really "Spirit" filled ones.

And again, ironically, I have always found that the quiet church people, the ones nobody notices, the ones that don't have many supernatural and mystical experiences to testify, are the ones that have restored my faith in the church. They are the ones that I always have found to be the most genuine. Such is one very good friend I have at university, a Presybterian.

It's all kind of odd, and all kind of backwards really.

Don't you think?

[SumTinWong]

Sure. Those who have it within are more apt to let it make changes internally which changes them externally, which produces peace. Those who only have it on the external level are more often then not going to be living on that external level. This is not scientific just from what I have read and seen elsewhere.

Part of the problem I see with people that seek after these experinces is that experience could become their God, and what they are now searching for is another "high" instead of a higher power. The same can be said for the people that wait for an experience in any sort of religious ritual. Voodoo is big in some countries because it has immediate results. Catastrophic, but they are results.

Anyway I would say breath deep and let go of the hurt, and hate. Have mercy in the same measure you were given by God. Think about that one ;)

If you do not mind I would make a suggestion for a great book, that helped me get passed alot of what you are going through. Inside Out, by Larry Crabb. See if your library system has it or check out the Nav Press website.

[AJ]

Anyway I would say breath deep and let go of the hurt, and hate. Have mercy in the same measure you were given by God. Think about that one ;)
Great advice

[rural_preacher]

I just want to say thank you to everyone for their kindness and thoughtful responses. I really need it at the moment.

And as far as stating that all these mystical, supernatural experiences making people prone to insincerity, how very true. You have hit the nail on the head.

I just don't get it. I have struggled and struggled trying to understand how time after time, the most moralistic and conservtive Christians, and the ones with the most amount of supenatural and mystical testimonies, are often the worst people to be involved with. You would just figure that if all these people are prophesying by God, falling down on the floor by God, speaking in tongues by God, blah blah blah blah..........that the fruit of love would be really evident. It is no exaggeration for me to say that most non Christians I have been involved with, have treated me better than all these really "Spirit" filled ones.

And again, ironically, I have always found that the quiet church people, the ones nobody notices, the ones that don't have many supernatural and mystical experiences to testify, are the ones that have restored my faith in the church. They are the ones that I always have found to be the most genuine. Such is one very good friend I have at university, a Presybterian.

It's all kind of odd, and all kind of backwards really.

Don't you think?
"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God" Ephesians 5:15-21.

[C.I. Scofield]

Hi BlackSab,



I can totally relate! However one must let go and move on. There are hypocrites in *EVERY* Denomination and body. You must give those feelings to the Lord and allow him to heal you. otherwise, you will never, ever grow in the Lord.

Some Scriptures:



Matthew 5:21-26 21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. 25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. 26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.

Matthew 7:1-6 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. 6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

Brother, I hope this all makes sense, and I will be praying for you. Remember, Christian's of all Denominations, are still very much human. Pentecostal's are simply misguided people. and very much, Human.


C.I. Scofield

[rural_preacher]

Pentecostal's are simply misguided people.

C.I. Scofield
Beware of sweeping generalizations!

If one were to say "Calvinists are simply misguided people", would you take offence and be ready to argue?

Perhaps a more loving approach might be to say "I believe many Pentecostals are misguided people".

Just my .02 :P





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[C.I. Scofield]

Beware of sweeping generalizations!

If one were to say "Calvinists are simply misguided people", would you take offence and be ready to argue?

Perhaps a more loving approach might be to say "I believe many Pentecostals are misguided people".

Just my .02 :P





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Yeah, I should have worded that a bit different. You see, I used to be a Pentecostal, I know thier teachings rather well, and from that, I can say, Pentecostal's are very misguided people. I believe they are, because, how can you ignore history and make up your own rules, as you go along??? can't be done. Not saying they're not saved, although, I question what christ it is that they serve, I personally believe it is another christ, clouded by false doctrine. and not the True Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, of course, that is my own personal opinion of them.

So, Yes, It is my opinion... :cool:

CI

[rural_preacher]

BlackSab and C.I.Scofield,

I am just curious. What kind of Pentecostal churches did you come out of. By that I mean: what group or denomination were you a part of? (Such as Assemblies of God, Foursquare, Open Bible, etc.?)

[C.I. Scofield]

BlackSab and C.I.Scofield,

I am just curious. What kind of Pentecostal churches did you come out of. By that I mean: what group or denomination were you a part of? (Such as Assemblies of God, Foursquare, Open Bible, etc.?)

Assemblies of Grief....


What does it matter??? They are all missguided teachers of false doctrine.

and yes, it is my opinion and anyone's who really reads the Bible!

[rural_preacher]

Assemblies of Grief....


What does it matter??? They are all missguided teachers of false doctrine.

and yes, it is my opinion and anyone's who really reads the Bible!

My reason for asking is no longer relevant considering I don't believe meaningful exchange is likely at this point...

You have clearly been very hurt in the past.

But I, personally, find your method of expressing yourself rather offensive.

I trust that God will do a powerful work in your heart as you heal from your wounds.




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[Brother Charlie]

Forgive and forget. Do not judge, do not despise. If you could not be satisfied with the, emm, energetic worship style of Pentecostals, then go for the more silent type of worship, quiet, personal meditation. There is nothing wrong with that. Have peace.

God bless you,
Charlie

[BlackSab]

I just want to say thanks to everyone for their encouraging replies.

It's obvious that there's at least one other person with the same experiences in Pentecostal churches as me. So I'm not alone.

But you're right. It's time to forgive and forget and move on. Easier said than done, but I know it's Christ's commandment.

Thanks again.