Dedicating an Infant at Home.

[MK1:15]

A married couple who have a 6 month old child disagree over baptism. The Father has no belief and see's no purpose in Christianity but the mother is more concerned and whats a Christian blessing. The compromise is that I (as a christian friend) perform some 'dedication/blessing' at their home when they invite their friends around. I'm happy to do this as I think God wants to bless this family. Any suggestions for how to handle this from a theological perspective gratefully received.

[Wigglesworth]

The Book of Common Prayer includes a form for emergency baptism administered by a lay person.

Emergency Baptism

In case of emergency, any baptized person may administer Baptism according to the following form.

Using the given name of the one baptized (if known), pour water on him or her, saying

I baptize you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The Lord's Prayer is then said. Other prayers, such as the following, may be added

Heavenly Father, we thank you that by water and the Holy Spirit you have bestowed on upon this your servant the forgiveness of sin and have raised him to the new life of grace. Strengthen him, O Lord, with your presence, enfold him in the arms of your mercy, and keep him safe forever.


The person who administers emergency Baptism should inform the priest of the appropriate parish, so that the fact can be properly recorded. If the baptized person recovers, the Baptism should be recognized at a public celebration of the Sacrament with a bishop or priest presiding, and the person baptized under emergency conditions, together with the sponsors or godparents, taking part in everything except the administration of the water.

Although it seems designed for a time of grave illness, maybe it's worth giving this a thought.

[pmcleanj]

A significant theological difference exists between a blessing, and the sacrament of Baptism. The Sacrament of Baptism is transformational: although all you do is perform the outward and visible sign of the pouring of water, God imparts an inward and spiritual grace by adopting the baptized into God's family and grafting him or her onto the Body of Christ, which is the Church, the whole company of Christ's faithful people.

It doesn't sound to me like this family is ready for that level of commitment. If you do decide to baptize, do some more investigation:
- does the child's mother regularly partake of Christian Fellowship and common worship? If not, how will the child partake of the fellowship that becomes its birthright and essential need when it is baptized?
- Does the Bishop, whose personal responsibility it is to see to the pastoral needs of the people in his diocese, also see the need for an irregular baptism, and does he entrust that to you? The Holy Spirit rarely speaks to just one person within the church. If an irregular baptism is the Spirit's will, the Spirit will be moving other people to the same end.

A blessing would be much more appropriate in a family that is not ready to make the commitment of surrendering their child to a Heavenly father, and receiving him back as a stewardship trust; a small brother-in-Christ to be nurtured on God's behalf and not your own. A blessing merely asks for God's care over the family, remembers God's promises of grace and hope, but makes no commitments where there may be no will to fulfill them.

Practically speaking, you can use the Book of Common Prayer, and just leave out the blessing of the water, the immersion/emmersion/pouring, and the welcome proclaimation. All the prayers for the baptized and the family remain appropriate, only skip over any reference to being baptized today.

[PaladinValer]

That liturgy would not work, me thinks, exactly for the reason you gave, Wigglesworth. Since it is for emergency use in terms of physical ailment, and the situation, thank God, has none of that involved, the Church probably wouldn't accept it.

Nice try though, Wigglesworth; I really mean it.

As for the actual desire for baptism:

1. You could sneak a priest into the home or sneak the infant into church and then the baptism could be done. Since that is rather risque, I wouldn't personally advise it, but it would culumnate into a valid baptism (arguably).
2. Although I highly doubt the father is entirely "without belief" (all people believe in something, even though it may not be Christianity, unless he's an nihilist), remind him that this infant would, if baptized now, need to confirm the baptism upon maturity (around 16ish at the earliest, IMO). The infant would not be a member of the church until then, and, theoretically, could "turn away" at any point later in life from Christianity if he/she wanted to. Of course, baptism does seal the infant as "Christ's own" for ever, so it isn't without its grace.
3. Talk to your priest about the problem. He or she will probably have some better insight than what I'm babbling about (sorry; I just got up and it's been a tiring previous 2 days).

Good luck! **Goes back to bed**

[Wigglesworth]

The above responses (other than mine) seem wise. I feel impressed to encourage you in another direction, though. Since the child's father has agreed to your blessing of the child, look at the open door you now have to talk to him about the spiritual significance of what they want you to do. I really believe this is an opportunity for you to meet a man where is and introduce him to Jesus in a personal way. I am just picturing you sitting at their table and asking them what they're looking for, then giving them the answers they really need.

God is probably ministering through you to the parents more than to the child, and I think only good things will result.

:pray:

[pmcleanj]

I really believe this is an opportunity for you to meet a man where is and introduce him to Jesus in a personal way. I am just picturing you sitting at their table and asking them what they're looking for, then giving them the answers they really need.

God is probably ministering through you to the parents more than to the child, and I think only good things will result.

Hear, Hear!

[Wiffey]

God bless you for doing the best you can for this family. I agree with the advice to talk to your priest.

On a personal note: Prior to my birth my mother left the Catholic Church and was vehement about not having me Baptised. She had no intention of raising me to be a Christian, so she saw it as pointless. My grandmother did not see it as pointless, however. She was my primary care giver, so it was fairly easy to get me to Church on the sly. A willing priest was happy to Baptise me.

I am really grateful for that priest and my grandmother! Let's just say I had a horribly bumpy urban disaster of a childhood, with no real Christian instruction. I believe the grace of that Baptism saved me from destruction and put me on a path that led me, after my grandmother's death, to explore her faith. It brought me to church as an adolescent and probably saved me (in more ways than one). It opened the door to Jesus Christ and had a great impact on the trajectory of my life.

just my 2 cents,
Wiffey

[MK1:15]

Thanks for the comments so far. I agree with the sentiments around Wigglesworths 2nd post as I do see this as a blessing for the child but eually an opportunity to present the good news of Jesus to both parents in a tangible way. I would highlight that I certainly see this as 'performing' a blessing and not a Baptism. The main aim is to come up with a form of words that causes the parents to consider Gods active involvement in their family life.

[Father Rick]

Maybe I can help here...

First of all, while the liturgy in the BCP states it is for an emergency, it may be used anytime it is necessary.

The Church recognizes one baptism for the remission of sins. While it is preferable to have a priest perform the baptism, it does not matter who performs the baptism, or even the form (immersion, sprinkling, pouring water, etc.)... as long as the INTENT is to baptize then it is considered valid.

The simple.... and perfectly acceptable way... to do this is to pour water 3 times on the head of the infant while pronouncing "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Any other prayers/blessings you may choose to offer may given as well.

As soon as is possible afterwards, the child should be taken to the local priest for a public recognition of the baptism and so the baptism can be recorded in the church's registers. In this situation, it sounds like it may be quite some time before the child can be taken to church to do this due to the father's disposition-- but that in no way invalidates the baptism.

[Father Rick]

The following is an 'official' rite of blessing/thanksgiving taken from the BCP:

A Thanksgiving for the Birth

or Adoption of a Child
As soon as convenient after the birth of a child, or after receiving a child
by adoption, the parents, with other members of the family, should come
to the church to be welcomed by the congregation and to give thanks to
Almighty God. It is desirable that this take place at a Sunday service. In
the Eucharist it may follow the Prayers of the People preceding the
Offertory. At Morning or Evening Prayer it may take place before the
close of the Office.

When desired, a briefer form of this service may be used, especially in the
hospital or at home; in which case the Celebrant may begin with the Act
of Thanksgiving, or with the prayer "O God, you have taught is." A
passage from Scripture may first be read. Either Luke 2:41-51, or Luke 18:15-17, is appropriate.

During the prayers, some parents may wish to express thanks in their own words.

At the proper time, the Celebrant invites the parents and other members of the family to present themselves before the Altar.

For the Birth of a Child

The Celebrant addresses the congregation in these or similar words

Dear Friends: The birth of a child is a joyous and solemn occasion in the life of a family. It is also an occasion for rejoicing in the Christian community. I bid you, therefore, to join N. [and N.] in giving thanks to Almighty God our heavenly Father, the Lord of all life, for the gift of N. to be their son (daughter) [and with N. (and N.N.), for a new brother (sister)]. Let us say together:


The Song of Mary

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God by Savior; *
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed: *
the Almighty has done great things for me,and holy is his Name.He has mercy on those who fear him *in every generation.

He has shown the strength of his arm, *he has scattered the proud in their conceit. He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, *nd has lifted up the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel, for he has remembered his promise of mercy,The promise he made to our fathers, to Abraham and his children for ever. Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.


or this

Psalm 116

I love the LORD, because he has heard the voice of my

supplication, because he has inclined his ear to me whenever I called upon him.

Gracious is the LORD and righteous; our God is full of compassion.

How shall I repay the LORD for all the good things he has done for me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call upon the Name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.

In the courts of the LORD'S house, in the midst of you, O Jerusalem.

Hallelujah!

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.


Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters.

He revives my soul and guides me along right pathways for his Name's sake.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me; you have anointed my head with oil, and my cup is running over.

Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.


The Celebrant then says this prayer

Let us pray.

O God, you have taught us through your blessed Son that
whoever receives a little child in the name of Christ receives
Christ himself: We give thanks for the blessing you have
bestowed upon this family in giving them a child. Confirm
their joy by a lively sense of your presence with them, and
give them calm strength and patient wisdom as they seek to
bring this child to love all that is true and noble, just and
pure, lovable and gracious, excellent and admirable,
following the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Prayers

The Celebrant may add one or more of the following prayers

For the parents

Almighty God, giver of life and love, bless N. and N. Grant
them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common
life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a
counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion
in joy. And so knit their wills together in your will and their
spirits in your Spirit, that they may live together in love and
peace all the days of their life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.



For a child not yet baptized


O eternal God, you have promised to be a father to a thousand generations of those who love and fear you: Bless this child and preserve his life; receive him and enable him to receive you, that through the Sacrament of Baptism he may become the child of God; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.


The Celebrant may then bless the family

May God the Father, who by Baptism adopts us as his children, grant you grace. Amen.

May God the Son, who sanctified a home at Nazareth, fill you with love. Amen.


May God the Holy Spirit, who has made the Church one family, keep you in peace. Amen.


The Peace may be exchanged.

The Minister of the Congregation is directed to instruct the people, from time to time, about the duty of Christian parents to make prudent provision for the well-being of their families, and of all persons to make wills, while they are in health, arranging for the disposal of their temporal goods, not neglecting, if they are able, to leave bequests for religious and charitable uses.

[benedictine]

I guess we have the priestly opinion....
(I agree with Fr. Rick)

[AveMaria]

I think Father Rick's suggestion (for the Thanksgiving for Birth/Adoption of a Child) was an excellent one.

Also, anyone have any ideas on what other denominations do, for non-baptismal infant dedications?

[benedictine]

Baptists have Dedications, but I knows nothing about them.