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Wondering if I'm alone in this...it's wonderful how some people can read the Bible or pray then believe and find Jesus and comfort. That's not me though. I've tried all i can think of to believe and find Jesus but i get nothing. I know so much about God, the Bible, the Christian life in my head...

I grew up in the Lutheran church going to Sunday School, church on Sundays, confirmation. When I was about 5, I did something I felt guilty about. I was upset by it, was crying, and despite my mom telling me God loves me and forgives me, I said He didn't and He hates me, my mom hates me...