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About 5 years ago after some tests we found there was no sperm whatsoever in my [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. We have since had a child by sperm donor who we love with all our hearts and are currently trying to have another by the same donor. Although he's 100% my child I feel like this does not satisfy the...

I guess the tricky thing is that I don't always know. I know what the right thing is and do it but I'm not sure if I'm doing it for the right reasons. Giving to others usually is what God wants - love does not demand its own way. There's always the lingering doubt that I'm doing it because it's...

Thanks David. It's an ongoing problem. She knows very well how interested I am. Sometimes when I use words she acquiesces but I haven't felt enthusiasm from her in a number of years. Without getting into too much detail I always make sure she's satisfied when we do it. I do the lions share of...

Thanks for your replies. I could use more clarification around the grey areas. Say I want to sleep with my wife but I sense she's not interested - she seems tired or just not in the mood. Is it laudable that I choose not to approach her? Going without night after night makes me more stressed...

I'm a naturally easy going person who generally avoids conflict at any cost. I concede and go without what I want nine times out of ten - closer to ten out of ten if I'm honest. My reasons for doing so are mostly out of insecurity. I'm sensitive to criticism and when people challenge or disagree...

Thanks for sharing Zoolander. There were many factors at play in my choosing to marry my wife. On the one hand as much as her history bothers me I know it shouldn't and I know couples can and have dealt with this same issue. I've always had a sense in my spirit that it shouldn't be a deal...

Thanks Peachie, unfortunately when I raised this before we got married, although I was delicate, (at least I thought so) she was extremely hurt saying I made her feel like s@#t for what she had done. I barely scratched the surface and got such a backlash that I bottled it all up and have never...

Indeed Jonaitis was just about to post this: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 New King James Version (NKJV) 9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor...

Thanks Guy. I know I need to get over it and forgive. It's proving much more difficult than I had anticipated. I was hoping to hear from someone who has come through the other side. How long did it take, what helped and what didn't? Do you fight the thoughts when they come? Do they ever stop...

The two are clearly connected. Had she waited as I did sex would be 1 intrinsically connected to me and 2 a new, exciting and uniquely powerful expression of her lifelong commitment to me. Instead she doesn't seem to think what she did was wrong or see sex as particularly meaningful. I'm...

Hi all, I love my wife with all my heart and am determined to make it work but it's been 4 years and I still struggle with the fact that I was a virgin when we got married but she had sex hundreds of times with about 8 people before me. I'm especially jealous of the first one. She was 16, more...

No not that much. Almost like clockwork after 3 days I'm raring to go again. And I cook but I wonder where you're going with that. I'd eat something I don't particularly like before I'd starve. And I'd be grateful to her for saving me the effort.

In an ideal world yes. Having said that sometimes a week or more can go by without either of us having the opportunity or the desire. What sucks is when I see the things she makes the time and energy for - the things she does even though she doesn't feel like doing - and sex is conspicuous by...

Absolutely. I do plenty for her that I don't enjoy or feel like doing every day. It's something like 10-12 days between times. I'd like it to be no more than 3.

I'm pretty sure she enjoys it but regardless have sex with your husband often has got to be covered in marriage 101. She did with him hence my frustration.

The hangups yes. My wife not prioritising sex though is on her and according to a TED talk I watched recently having had plenty of sex before marriage is a major reason why her desire is significantly less than mine. She assured me she had a high sex drive and we'd be doing it all the time but...

Not often at all. Seems I've given you the wrong idea. Only like once or twice a year but still that's enough to make me uncomfortable. When I told her recently that I wish we had more sex the obvious question was how often did you with the others? The other time that springs to mind in the last...

You might be onto something there. It's her first boyfriend I'm particularly jealous of. They were 17 and together for 4 years. She had 3 other long term boyfriends but admits she didn't love them fully; always 1 foot on the ground (better credit Regina Spektor for those lines). She slept with...

I know I need to let it go; wanting advice about how to do that. I believe wholeheartedly that she's the one for me and that I can get over it because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Have you ever decided to do something then found it to be much harder than you...

I want this somewhere it can be seen by everyone, not just Christians or married people because it's about communication and applies to any relationship. Since the most significant relationship is with my wife here it is. I listen too much. Listening is a skill that I'm incredibly good at but I...